Men who cook: Do women find them sexy?

men who cook

Cooking Is Not Just For Women

Not all men like to talk sex, politics and sports some men love to cook, including myself. I have yet to set the kitchen on fire (hopefully I never do) but I’m quite confident I won’t overflow the kitchen sink like my wife while cooking dinner.

Being able to cook is a skill that is part of life and one that we should all know how to do. We don’t need to be chefs but we should understand the basics so we don’t have to spend money on take-out or rely on others to cook for us. The grocery stores thrive on those who come in and buy their convenience hot and ready to go dinners because they don’t want or know how to cook.

The movie “Failure to Launch” ( my wife made me watch it I swear) comes to mind but clearly Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker) the interventionist was thrilled when Tripp (Matthew McConaugehy) decided to cook her a full meal with all the trimmings even though she knew he was a mama’s boy. At 35 he was still living at home and mom was doing all of his laundry, cooking and cleaning but was he boyfriend or even husband material? I don’t know many women who would do what his mom did for him.

I think if you do something for someone over and over they expect it and you learn nothing but if you put some effort into learning like Tripp did eventually you will see you don’t need your mom to cook and clean for you. She did fall in love with him after all though so that must mean something.

When I know a man can cook it tells me they enjoy the simple things in life and if he cleans up without me asking, well that’s even sexier. -Mrs. CBB

I do both sometimes because she might not be home to help or because I’m the one who made the mess. Women don’t always want to clean up after us and vice versa. Just as much as a woman loves a man who cooks and cleans a man desires these traits in a woman just the same.

Men can’t cook

Do men really save money if they don’t know how to cook and burn more than they eat? We all have to start somewhere so if that means a man has to mess up a few meals until he gets it right then so be it. If you were left in the forest with no food around and only the tools to catch an animal and forage for other edible items would you starve to death or would you get off your arse and start hunting? Most would hunt because being hungry isn’t fun so I don’t buy the I don’t want to cook or I don’t like to cook attitude. It’s more about working as a team with your spouse to cook so you don’t put all the pressure on one person, even if it’s not your favourite task to do.

Showing your children that a man is cooking in the kitchen may also inspire a little chef and it may instil values in them that they can carry over when they get married. Gone are the days where the man goes to work and the woman wears the apron and slaves away in a hot kitchen all day to prepare the meals for the family. More and more men are interested in getting dirty in the kitchen but not all are as motivated as the next guy. Some men need a little push and others can’t wait to get in the kitchen to try and create some meals they can call their own.

Granted, there are some women who can’t handle their man in the kitchen and they get frustrated by their lack of common sense (we really can be that dumb in the kitchen) so they kick us out. They tell us to get a beer and get lost. Don’t think my wife doesn’t do it because she has on occasion because she says I drive her nuts. The only difference is, I love to cook and she loves to eat it.

Men can cook

chicken pot pie

Chicken pot pie Ken made for their 4th year anniversary

Being in the kitchen is much different to a man who tends that grill outside. The BBQ is a sign of being manly especially if he has a beer in one hand and his utensil in the other (no pun intended). Men feel like the king of the grill when they get to open the lid and see flames.

Some great chefs are excellent on the grill such as Bobby Flay from the Food Network but he also takes over the kitchen with his mastery in culinary skills. I think the Iron Chef television show not only brought out the boldness in chefs all around the world but it taught us that men can cook.

I asked Jen and Ken a lovely married couple here at CBB (you might remember reading their budgeting story) about their relationship in the kitchen and this is the response I received from the both of them.

When I asked Ken what he did in his bachelor days he said he ate out a lot. When he did cook he asked his mom for old recipes she made and he also got a lot of tips from the guys at work. As a child and teen he helped a little in the kitchen but not as much as he should have he says.

He wants our son Adam to participate in the kitchen and learn more so he can grow up understand the importance of homemade cooking. We don’t want him to think that eating out is what he should be doing. Ken loves to BBQ and he is great at it and his meat always turns out perfect, moist, juicy.

Cooking isn’t really a hobby for Ken, it’s probably developed more out of necessity. You’ve got to eat, we can’t afford to eat out all the time and you get sick of eating the same thing all the time, so you learn how to cook.

chicken pot pie on plate

Kens chicken pot pie

Ken is famous on our CBB What’s for Dinner thread every time he makes his chicken pot pie recipe he found online. Jen says that the chicken pot pie was a recipe Ken started out with and modified to make his own. The changes he made to make it his own and perfect it was he cut the chicken broth to 1 cup and added a can of cream of chicken soup and added a little bit more frozen veggies. It’s delicious and I’m proud of Ken for taking initiative in the kitchen for our family. Yes, I think men who cook are very sexy.

When I try something new there’s an overwhelming fear of failure. The anxiety I feel is overwhelming until everyone takes their first bite and I look around and see their reactions of pleasure.-Ken

Men cook as a hobby

I’d like to think that my cooking is the equivalent to a hobby as I really do enjoy getting in the kitchen to create new meals. I don’t like having to eat the same old recipes over and over but I do fancy changing them up or coming up with some wacky idea for something we’ve never tried before. Just have a look at my recipe index and you will see that I not only cook but I also enjoy baking.

Bachelor cooking

When I was single I used to hear the popular saying “real men cook” but I knew it was a load of rubbish because not everyone is meant to be in the kitchen and it doesn’t make you any less of a man. I do believe that just because we don’t like to do something it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t though. You have to be passionate about food to want to cook food but creating something to eat isn’t rocket science. In my single years I used to cook my meals every single day and it was rare for me to ever go out to eat. The ladies always made comments about the meals I would cook for them when I had a romantic date.

I’m tired of hearing my bachelor friends say they can’t cook so they just want to go out every night. Seriously, they give in that easy and are not worried about it one bit. I sure hope they find a woman who doesn’t care if he steps foot in the kitchen or that he can’t boil hotdogs to save his life.

I have a friend who is single and gets his daughter a few nights a week and they eat out all the time. She is a picky eater now because of his lack of cooking skills and he knows he’s spoiled her but now he needs to try and fix this problem before it gets out of hand.

The lesson he teaches her is that if you want something to eat you go out to buy it. He is setting her up potentially for failure in the kitchen. She may never want to cook but she may ended up paying big time out-of-pocket for eating out vs eating in. The price difference is astronomical so I’m working with him to challenge himself to go to the grocery store to buy groceries so he can cook a meal.

He laughed about it and said he can’t cook but I told him I would help him so he has no excuse now. If he wants to set some ground rules at home for dinner time he needs to make sure that the kitchen has a well stocked pantry and the tools available to cook are ready for him.

It’s true that some people have no inclination whatsoever to cook and it doesn’t matter how much money they spend eating out they will do it, because that’s all they know how to do.

man cooking with woman

Tips for men who want to learn how to cook

Well, I’m no Gordon Ramsay although I apparently have the go go go attitude when people get in my way but I do enjoy food, eating it and creating it. I’ve been cooking since I was a young guy around the age of 17 and cooked my way through a condo and my own house as a bachelor with no complaints from the ladies.

They say a way to a mans heart is through food but I also believe the same for a woman, especially if you she knows how much you care or even are in love with her. So don’t be chicken to cook, cook a chicken and learn how easy it is to turn something so simple into something very delicious. Think about all the money you will save and what you are going to do with it.

  • Set a grocery budget- If I didn’t say this I’d be missing out on the purpose of budgeting for groceries. If you want to know how much your grocery budget should be figure out how much you have left to spend after all your bills are paid and what you can afford to spend. It’s not hard but knowing what you can spend helps you to decide how you will spend your money at the grocery store.
  • Search recipes online free don’t feel that you have to go and buy cookbooks to learn how to cook. There are millions of free recipes and tutorials online that can help anyone learn to cook. You can also take out cookbooks free from the library, ask your friends and see if your local community centre offers free cooking classes.
  • Make a grocery list- Before you go shopping it helps if you have a plan. Plan your meals for the week and write-up a grocery list so you know exactly what you need to get in order to create your meals.
  • Kitchen Utensils- If your kitchen has a fork, spoon, knife and a frying pan try to build your tools in the kitchen so you have more opportunity to create meals. Scope out garage sales for great deals or even freecycle, kijiji, Value Village or The Salvation Army are a few places you can go for second-hand kitchen tools. Alternatively you can buy them new when they go on sale to save some money.
  • Stock your pantry- It’s always important to have a well stocked pantry only because if you feel there is no food in the house, you won’t cook. When you have all the basic staples in a kitchen it makes cooking much more fun, especially when you want to switch things up.
  • Experiment- That leads us to experimenting in the kitchen using items that you have on hand to create meals or modify meals like Ken has above. Don’t be afraid to screw up, at least you tried it. One last quick tip, don’t forget, you can always add but you can’t take away.

Cooking is a living skill that I believe everyone should at least know the basics about. Eating out often is not only hard on the wallet but makes other people richer when you can keep the money in your own bank account. Whether women find a man sexy who cooks is up to the woman but I’m betting she won’t throw him out of the kitchen if he’s willing to cook up something special and romantic for the woman he loves.

Does your man cook and do you find it sexy? Does your woman cook and do you find it sexy?


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  1. I love to eat tasty food and I’ve always felt that it would be a good idea to not have to depend on a women to cook it for me.
    Not that I don’t appreciate it, I just like the fact that I can do it for myself. I laugh at men who say they can’t and complain about their wife or girlfriend because they didn’t cook them a meal. If I can do it why can’t they. I don’t think my wife finds me sexy when I cook for her, But! I did have a few girlfriends who did. lol The BBQ KING!

  2. Back when we were just friends (and coworkers), CJ would have me over to his apartment and we would cook every Wednesday night. Neither of us could cook (still really have difficulty), but we loved the conversation so much it eventually led to 15+years of marriage! I find his crockpot full of beans very sexy, and I love how he boils our rice and chops up the spinach for our salads. We eat the same three meals Monday through Thursday, so there is little prep each day.

    CBB, I think your post is a great How To and no man has any excuses after reading this for not bringing it – at least a little bit – in the kitchen!

    • Awe he makes you a crockpot full of beans how lovely… I think it’s great that you both got together to cook even though you didn’t know how. It’s a great way to build a relationship and keep a relationship alive.

  3. I like a man who can take care of himself. I put shaving and grooming above cooking but it kind of goes together, showing he is not a mummy’s boy looking to replace mum as his cook, maid and cleaner. One of my best friends is an international chef and works for prestigious places but I don’t find it particularly sexy, passed the basic skills set I am good.

  4. debtandthegirl says:

    Being able to cook is sexy. I am glad bf knows how to cook because I really don’t and that would be bad.

  5. Debt and the Girl says:

    Personally, I think men who can cook as very sexy. Maybe its because I can’t really cook and its just makes sense to find someone who can cook. Luckily, the bff is a good cook.

  6. Absolutely!! It’s great when men can cook and even better when a guy WANTS to cook! This is a really great post, thanks for sharing!

  7. Romona (@monasez) says:

    A man that cooks is okay with me because I hate to cook. So he’ll be fending for himself. lol

  8. Oh, how I wish my husband could make something other than peanut butter toast. I can dream!

  9. daisyprairieecothrifter says:

    I wish J would cook! He can do breakfast and bbq but that’s it. It’s not like he really tries, though. I’m sure if he put the effort forth he’d be able to figure it out.

  10. Men who cook are sexy–look at all the foodnetwork stars! Thanks for the post!

  11. donna pierce says:

    Hi Mr.CBB ! Great artical ! I will join you back at What for Dinner when FB lets me back on. They bumped me & I can’t remember my password !!!! Been way to long !! Ley Mary know. Night !

  12. My husband can make frozen pizza or pasta and canned spaghetti sauce, and he can grill. That’s about it, but I’m OK with it. He does all the yard work and vacuums, so it’s an even trade.

  13. It may sound odd, buy anything Rick does for me at home, whether cooking or cleaning, is totally sexy! Coming home to find some of the work done that I normally do takes SUCH stress off of me, and then I’ve got more energy to do other things, LOL. 🙂 That being said, I am being super proactive in teaching our only son to cook; I want him to be a great support and caretaker of his wife. Even if she wants to do most of the cooking, I want him to be competent enough in the kitchen to help her out when she wants help or just to do something nice for her, you know?

  14. I usually cook most days. My wife works 9-5 weekdays and I work over the weekends so I cook during the week and she cooks over the weekend.

  15. Absolutely! Why wouldn’t we! My husband tends to the grill, I know – shocking! – while the kitchen is more my domain. We got married right after college so he never had an extended period of bachelorhood. I suspect when I used to travel for work those were the days he enjoyed some fast food since I’m not a fan. 🙂 I am also a fussier eater than my family so in some ways, it’s probably only fair that I do the majority of the cooking. I do agree that cooking is skill both boys and girls should learn. It’s far healthier on your wallet and body! And yes, most girls would swoon if their guy cooked them a special meal!

    • It’s a great skill to teach the children when they are young so they know how even if they don’t get that bout of singlehood like you and your husband didn’t have after college. The more people experiment in the kitchen the easier it gets.

  16. Krys Snow says:

    I had a stroke in April and my dear love has taken over many of the things I used to do … Including making some of the meals. I feel very fortunate that he enjoys cooking and doesn’t mind if I do the dishes which is only fair! He also appreciates the effort I put in to make a special dish, salad, or dessert. Some people don’t appreciate what they have until something changes their way of thinking.

  17. I really enjoy cooking and things ‘usually’ turn out ok when I do but I know I don’t do it as much as I should. Maybe I’ll get stuck in tomorrow!

  18. I have been the primary cook in our household but as we have gotten older we do a lot of team cooking where he grills and I make the side dishes! We each have our passions and he has great ideas too! I think it is absolutely sexy when a man cooks especially when I have had a long day at work and I call him on my way home and he says “By the way babe I have pork chops on the grill” and some veggies cooking………It’s another way to show I love you! I also have friends where there husbands are the primary cooks in their households and it works for them……I think couples do what works for them I no longer believe in the old fashioned stereotypes anymore. Great post!

  19. Christine Weadick says:

    Hubby can BBQ a steak that comes off the grill delicious, anything from M&M Meats that gives a time for cooking is OK. Anything else not so much…. I will ask the older boy to man the BBQ some days, he does well there. His younger brother handles things inhouse. If hubby and I are not here for a meal the boys will makes themselves something. They also know they better clean up after themselves…. Or else….. Wish my in-laws had taught hubby to clean up after himself when he was a kid. I swear that boy still believes in the clean-up fairy…… And not just the in kitchen…..
    I’ve written out recipes from library books a fair number of times over the years, there are also a few cook looks from there that I will keep an eye out for at the book sales they have twice a year. I have a few that I would never pay full price for but .50-$1.00 for ….that I’ll go for. Newspapers are another place to get recipes, most have a day of the week that has a food section. I think Toronto’s used to be Wednesday, haven’t bought a Toronto paper in a while….
    Going out for something to eat can be useful on occasion, as any Mickey D’s close to a military installation will testify to. They have a run on Big Mac’s when the crew comes in from a few days out in the field……..field rations being what they are…..

    • Do your sons help you in the kitchen Christine? I know how much you enjoy cooking. It’s great that he does tend the grill, most men do and enjoy it.

      • Christine Weadick says:

        The older boy will handle the bbq for me depending on what we are having. The younger boy can make a few basic things in the kitchen and he is finding it interesting to read recipes. He’s figuring out how things will taste from what’s in it, I think he likens it to a bit of a chemistry lesson. Both will help clean up.

  20. Oh do I wish W could cook! Hopefully eventually he will start cooking more.

  21. I absolutely love to cook. Cheryl….not so much. So, it works well at our house: I cook and she handles most of the laundry. Teamwork!

  22. I could answer your question by just reading the title: YES! 🙂 I think that’s one of the bonus qualities I’m looking for in a man…not a deal breaker by any means, but a HUGE bonus, especially since I don’t like cooking myself. I like to clean, so together we’d make a perfect pair. 🙂

    • Oh Tonya, you will find that special love one day and it will be magical. You’re beautiful, smart and hey if you love cooking there are many men who will glady trade that to cook!! Have a great day.

  23. I don’t think my wife thinks my cooking is sexy but she does really appreciate all the effort and love that goes into each of my creations.

  24. Great Jollyhoombah (@Hoombah) says:

    Dude, I mean, CBB, your gal must find you off the charts sexy. Tammy, on the other hand, is lucky to get mildly amused (not aroused) by my red bean and brown rice experiments.

    Have a super sexy one, CBB!

  25. A man who can cook is definitely sexy in my books! My husband cooks 5 days a week for us. He’s retired and I’m still working, seems fair. His specialties are spaghetti, and any meat and potatoes. lol. I find it works better for us if I leave him a dinner menu for the week. That way we eat balanced meals (more or less), have a variety in our diet, and use up what needs to be. The days I cook, I use the left overs and create something new. I will say that HE is much neater in the kitchen than I. He cleans as he goes, while I do tend to create an unholy mess and clean it up after dinner. Perhaps I COULD learn something from him 😉

  26. Anne @ Unique Gifter says:

    I once read an academic paper on the rise of BBQ cooking and its establishment as a male domain. Ah the joys of having friends doing strange PhDs!
    Thank you for cooking so much and working to dispel the ridiculous gendering of the activity in our society.

  27. Good post Mr. CBB! I think sometimes there can be a stigma when it comes to men that cook, which I think is a little crazy. I am not the best cook by any means, but I do joy to do it when I can and make a meal for the family. I’ve not killed anyone…yet – and hope I never do. 😉

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