The Saturday Weekend Review #46: Gay lifestyle lands server no tip from customer

coffee-cup-restaurant-tip-server TIPS MEAN MORE TO SOME THAN OTHERS

In a typical setting tipping your server is not a requirement when you frequent a sit down restaurant rather it is at the discretion of the customer.

Not everyone has spare money hanging around but they may want to go out for a meal once in a while to celebrate a special occasion or just because they deserve a night out.

The budget is a place we save money for entertainment purposes but to be honest we never thought to factor in any tipping that we might do if we go to a restaurant.

Although I’m not used to the ‘tip your server gratuity’ in Canada because it wasn’t so common back home for me I still do tip as long as I receive excellent service and personally I don’t care what they do in their spare time as it’s not my business.

I wouldn’t tip just because I felt I had to nor would I feel the need to explain why I wouldn’t leave a tip so I was a bit turned off when I read this new article on Yahoo this morning about a New Jersey woman server Dana Morales a former US Marine who is gay and was not left a tip based on her sexual orientation from customers that she served.

What is sexual discrimination?

Sexual discrimination is discrimination based on sexual orientation essentially prejudice based on a persons sex or discrimination based on beliefs of someone’s sexual orientation. This is what it means to me but there are many definitions out there.

My feelings about this is that if you don’t agree with the way someone lives their life then keep it to yourself.

There was no reason that the customer needed to say anything to the server if they didn’t want to leave a tip as it is not mandatory to leave a tip in the first place, it’s only a courtesy for excellent service.

The fact that they went out of their way to make it clear that they did not agree with her being gay just goes to show us that hatred is never alone it follows people because they allow it to cripple their minds.

We would all be in a better place if we just focused on our own happiness rather than criticizing others lives.

Sexual orientation discrimination in the workplace happens all the time and to be honest I don’t know why so many people waste their time on things they cannot change nor should they bother with what others do with their private life.

There is a fine line when it comes to discrimination and in the workplace there should be a clear policy posted for all employees who should sign off they agree and understand it will not be tolerated.

Many people who do get harassed or discriminated against tend to keep it to themselves for fear of reprisal but people shouldn’t have to search for job openings at gay friendly companies as we should all be treated as equals. Is there such a thing anyways?

I don’t know what laws are in the USA when it comes to discrimination but I know in Canada that it is not tolerated and Human Resources don’t take reports of it lightly.

There is no bullying and harassment policy posted for customers and the best a restaurant owner can do is politely ask someone to leave or call for police back up based on the situation they are facing which is different in all cases and must be handled with the utmost of care because the establishments name is on the line.

I’m sure there have been many incidents when things have gotten out of hand and someone has had to step in. When I read what the customer wrote on the receipt it made me wonder how people can be so cruel to others when it’s simply not needed.

“I’m sorry but I cannot tip because I don’t agree with your lifestyle and how you live your life,” reads the receipt posted to the non-profit group Have A Gay Day’s Facebook page.

Just like the owner of the restaurant was proud of the way she handled the situation anyone who is faced with any type of discrimination in the workplace should not throw stones rather be the stronger person and do the right thing.

She was polite and would serve them again if they came back into the restaurant and that is the way it should be only because I feel when we let other people have control over our emotions we give up the right to be who we want to be.

We are always going to be faced with rude people in this world but like I always say, smile and the world smiles back at your or smile and if you piss them off well so be it.

Sexual discrimination based on sexual orientation is not new and is a big problem not only in Canada but around the world more so in the workplace but in everyday dealings with people in general.

I simply don’t understand why we continue to battle the forces that are before us instead of embracing change in this world.

This world would be a better place if we only focused on matters that are more important rather than who is sleeping with who and what their sexual orientation is.

What are your thoughts on this situation? Share them in the comments below.

 

Canadian Budget Binder this week

 

 

CBB at home and the blog

 radicchio

As you all know I was away for a week this past week so it’s been quiet around the blog. I’ve found that it’s slowed down this time of year but I’m grateful for my fans who pop around every day to read my posts and comment to share their insights.

I’m working hard at winding down the 2013 year hoping to make some changes to the way the blog is run for the 2014 year so I look forward to some new challenges for me starting off my third year of blogging at Canadian Budget Binder.

At home I am trying my hand at keeping the radicchio going over the winter so we have fresh lettuce during the cold season. So far so good and it seems to enjoy the sunshine that it gets every single day and the pot that it lives in seems to be holding up quite well.

Radicchio is a pricey lettuce that you can purchase in the grocery store up to $4.99lb so if I can keep this up all winter I’ll be a happy guy.

Other than that with Christmas creeping up on us we will be out doing some Christmas shopping but we are hoping that Shoppers Drug Mart does their Mega Redemption this year so we can do a couple of redemption that we have been saving points up for.

We noticed that they now have tablets for sale in the electronics department so we may have to look into that for a potential gift in our holiday gift exchange for the family.

I will also be getting outside to switch the winter tires on the vehicles and put up the Christmas decorations outside before the snow approaches.

How has your week been going?

 

Fan deals of the week

 

Submit your Brag

If you have a brag that you want me to share email me at canadianbudgetbinder (@) [yahoo] [.ca] by Friday each week to have your brag considered for the Saturday post.

Mr CBB… here are my scores this week.

The eggs are a great price, 2 for 1 hams is good but the produce at Wal-mart was amazing!!! I thought I did really well for a grand total of $73.10. As usual…I was shopping the sales and only used one coupon.   

Mary F. Campbell

Safeway – Maple Ridge

3 dozen Lucerne eggs ($8.97-$4.98 Loyalty Savings) = $3.99

Not only did I get in on the sale but we also picked up a rain check for another 3 dozen eggs @ $3.99! Yippee!!!

•Total OOP:  $3.99
====================================

Save On Foods – Maple Ridge

2 Maple Leaf Hams ($29.98-$14.99 Coupon) = $14.99

•Total OOP:  $14.99
====================================

Thrifty Foods – Maple Ridge

2 Island Farms Yogurt (2 for $5.00)= $5.00
2 Island Farms Cottage Cheese $4.49 ea
4 Avocados (2 for $3) = $6.00
2 Cauliflower (2 for $5.00) = $5.00
5 Lemons (5 for $2.00) = $2.00
5 Limes (5 for $2.00) = $2.00
1 bunch spinach $1.29

•Total OOP:  $30.27

Thanks Mary for sharing your brag of the week with us. We know you are an amazing shopper and we can all learn something new from each other.

 

Making a difference

 add-vodka-avatar

Hi CBB fans!

I’m Daisy and I am the finance and lifestyle blogger behind When Life Gives You Lemons, Add Vodka.  (Update: No longer blogging here as of Jan 5, 2015)

I started blogging in 2010 on When Life Gives You Lemons, as a way to document my financial struggles as I put myself through college.

I had just quit my retail job, and moved four hours away from my hometown with my then boyfriend (now fiance) to work toward getting my degree.

Where I grew up there was, and still is, very little opportunity for business majors like me. I wanted to move to a larger city to get some work experience, earn my degree at a school that would allow me to apply my skills practically, and set down some roots.

What I try to convey with both of my blogs is that you can work your way out of, or into any situation that you would like.

I tripled my income in three years and now am a 24-year-old professional and member of a DINK couple (dual income no kids).

I was not doing good financially when I moved, but in the past four years I’ve secured a great job, started saving for retirement, saved up a ton of money and used it as a down payment on our house, and have begun investing.

I’m only getting richer every year and my passion is to empower young women (and men!) to better themselves financially, in health, and in outlook (though I admit I struggle with the same thing).

Even when life throws you curveballs, there’s always a bright side, and that’s where the vodka comes in. I try to bring a little motivation to my reader’s days by sharing my own struggles and successes.

Let me know if it wasn’t what you had in mind!

 

Blog post sharing

 

I really appreciate when other blog owners recognize my hard work at Canadian Budget Binder and share my posts with their fans or even mention my blog on their blog or website.

Here are the blogs that did just that this past week, so please head over and check them out. If I’m missing you it’s because I didn’t get a ping back so please send me an email and I’ll add you next Saturday.

 

 

 

Google-web-search-terms

Every week I get thousands of people visit Canadian Budget Binder because they did a search online and found my blog. Here are a few of my favorite searches that may have even brought you here and you’re reading this, right now.

  • I feel pregnant but dollar store hpt tells me no- Time to visit the doctor I think
  • How to get rid of $100, 000- Sweep it up
  • Is being a shopoholic truly an addiction?- I would say so
  • Frugal is sexy- You better believe it …wink
  • Liking a man with money- It won’t work when it’s just based around money
  • Hate me and see if I care- hmmm

 

Money-quote

 

Are You New To Canadian Budget Binder?

 

 

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Mr. CBB
I’m from the UK and now a recent permanent resident in Canada. I bought my first house at the age of 21 after University then my second at the age of 24. I’ve always been fascinated with personal finance, savings, learning to make money and watch it grow while combating debts along the way. Canadian Budget Binder is a place where I get to share my experiences with personal finance and learn about yours along the way. I hope you stick around and check me out on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest where I am active on all social media sites. Cheers, Mr.CBB
Mr. CBB
Mr. CBB

Comments

  1. I notice that your tipping story originated in the US, Mr. CBB, so I thought I’d share something I recently read. The US federal minimum wage for employees who work in jobs that customarily receive tips is $2.13/hour. I was gobsmacked by that. After taxes for their estimated income from tipping are deducted, many wait staff receive pay stub showing a balance of $0.00. It puts things in a different light, doesn’t it?

    I personally find both the minimum wage policy for tipped employees and the discrimination offensive.

    The wage issue upsets me because when an employee goes to work for an employer the two parties are in fact making an agreement of exchange. The employee provides labour and in exchange for the labour the employer provides a wage. Expecting the business’ customers to provide the wage instead of expecting the employer to do so is a violation of that basic agreement.

    As to the discrimination, I’m sure there are homophobic people here too, but our constitution and our laws are much more clear about what constitutes discrimination. In the US folks seem to be much more outspoken about their prejudices, and the law much less specific in delineating rights about sexual, age, and gender discrimination. Heck, the E.R.A. has not yet passed in the U.S.! Until it does, no woman has equal rights to men under the constitution. Kind of scary when you think of it…

  2. I saw the same article and my thoughts/feelings were similar to yours. There was absolutely no reason the customer should have left the comment they did. Quite frankly, what makes them think anyone really cares about their beliefs? Moreover, as you note, the tip/or non-tip, should have been based on the quality of service…nothing else.

  3. Wow! Yet again, another example of how sick, ignorant, and cruel some people can be! To be frank and honest, I do not care one bit about my servers sexual orientation. I care that they are clean, dressed appropriately, clean hands, and are polite and honest! What does it matter who they have sex with???
    I tip my servers based on their manners, speed, and frankly if they touch the top of my cup or glass ( big ewwww, big no no)
    Congrats to the restaurant for sticking up for their staff! Shows what they think of them, shows that they are valued to them.
    I own a small cafe with only one employee. I could care less who she sleeps with, it’s none of my business. I care that she shows up to work on time, is pleasant with the customers, and does her job well ( she does!, and I love her!!). We have a saying at my place, “We don’t take sh!t from no one!!” And it’s true, customers joke with us, we joke with them. There is never any derogatory, inflammatory, racist, or cruel remarks. Just good clean fun! I have banned people from our establishment for ignorant attitudes towards us.
    An old saying comes to mind “Can’t we all just get along?”

  4. I find it crazy that they felt the need to mention why they were not leaving a tip. You don’t want to tip, that is your problem, there is no need to be mean. I wish I had told some waitresses “I am not leaving you a tip because you are rude and incompetent” more than once though.

  5. Christine Weadick says:

    I agree with the above comments. For as much as I go to a restaurant, I will leave a tip according to the service I get. I don’t care what they do outside of their job, I care about how well they do that job. The server’s sexual orientation is their business… what ever cranks your tractor…. Your private business is just that…private.To make an issue of it in public like this just looks bad on the person making a fuss. This server is showing she is a class act. The bigots don’t need to frequent this place if they don’t like the service or the server. This world can do with a lot less of the bigotry and the bullies.
    People that work in the service industry deserve respect for the job they do. It’s not easy dealing with people day in and day out. The pay tends to be low with little or no benefits. They work hard for every penny.
    I’m sure we all know people that are gay.We may not realize they are gay unless they tell us. I know my kids do and it really doesn’t matter. The lady my daughter has listed as guardian for our grandson is gay, she thinks the world of him. I’ve met her and she is a lovely person.
    Good luck with the lettuce inside over winter!!! Looks like Mary got some nice deals!!!!! Have a good weekend!!!

  6. I completely agree. Tips should be based entirely upon the quality of service; not upon your bigoted beliefs!

  7. Shame, shame, shame on the patrons of that restaurant. It’s nobody’s business what your sexual orientation is and if someone else doesn’t like it they should keep their mouth shut, or not eat at that establishment.

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