PF Friday Grab a Brew #48: How to ask for help when it comes to money success

grab-a-brewYOU NEVER KNOW WHAT SOMEONE HAS TO SAY UNLESS YOU ASK A QUESTION

Money success to me means that we are in charge of our own lives and how it plays out really depends on many factors with the main one being understanding where we stand financially.

When it comes to our personal finances we were never the couple to ask for help nor did we disclose how much money we made or saved because we simply didn’t want people to know.

Starting the blog CanadianBudgetBinder.com was and still is a way for me to talk about personal finance and how it applies to our budget but also to open up and learn about others successes and failures.

When I first started chatting to my friend over at Nurse Frugal and her husband whom she calls Mr. BT almost 2 years ago they were on a journey to become debt free including their mortgage using a budget and Dave Ramsey principles.

They have now paid their mortgage in full as of November 2013 an exciting time for this young couple who worked so hard to reach this goal which you can read about it in their latest post “Freedom”.

What stood out the most in her Freedom blog post was the three things that were important to them along the way.

  1. It takes hard work
  2. You need a budget
  3. I don’t “need things” to be content

All three of these are true for us as well but the best part is where she shares what they are now able to do now that they are debt free.

Life is much easier, the stress is lifted and you know that where you are is only because of the discipline that you put forth and will continue to put forth. Just because one is debt free doesn’t mean they stop living by the principles they set before themselves it only means that they don’t have to worry as much as they used to and can set even more goals.

I’m the type of guy who believes that whatever guidance helps you get on board financially whether it be from fellow Canadian Money Moron and Til Debt Do Us Part TV/Radio host and financial author Gail Vaz Oxlade, American Radio host and financial author Dave Ramsey or reading the myriad of personal finance blogs and finance books out there then go for it.

Just make sure to do your homework and trust the professionals when and if something doesn’t sound right to you. It’s your money after all, so protect it wisely.

Now is the time

 

Too often people push their finances aside until it’s too late and throw their hands up in the air not knowing what to do and where to turn. It’s a good thing there are many free money-saving tools and resources on the web for everyone to access but sometimes that’s not enough.

Having friends and family might just be the push you need to get on track by letting them know where you stand financially or that you are working on getting on track using a budget and you are now limited to spending with-in your means.

I believe that once people see their overall financial picture they are either shocked or relieved it’s not as bad as they thought, but at the same time if they want to move forward financially they will do whatever it takes.

I was reading an article called “Family and friends are the secret to financial success” and it reminded me how some people I know blame others because they are in debt, mainly friends and family.

The not so shocking part was reading that 82 percent of couples talk about finances but feel that their partner keeps them from reaching their financial goals. It leads me to wonder how often and in-depth couples do discuss personal finances before they are married or start a relationship especially what their goals are. Skimming the surface financially before walking down the aisle is not always the smart way to go especially if you are a saver.

Canadians clearly feel the pressure to spend when they are with friends, as 44 per cent of us admit we shell out more than we can afford.

The premise behind the article tells me that if you feel pressure to spend when you are with your family and friends it may be just as wise to tell them your financial goals so they can support you and offer tips and advice along the way; especially if they are living it. If people think that your financial health is amazing they won’t tell you not to spend, it’s up to you to put the brakes on.

I know I’ve talked about my best friend in the past about how he has a daughter who manipulates him into buying her “things n stuff” and that he really wants to find a better job and get his debt under control. Well, the time has come and I’m going to be turning his world upside down financially in the next week.

He’s not the type of guy who asks for any help but this time I’m going to just give it to him because I know he wants it and I know he will accept it with open arms as we’ve talked about it because I’ve brought it up. I guess it’s smart to be a good listener when you are a friend because sometimes you hear about things that your friend might need but not know how to ask or where to begin especially if they know that you are educated in a particular area.

Not only am I going to go through all of his finances with him I’m going to be blogging about it along the way to encourage him and to hold him accountable to the budgeting process because I believe that without challenging ourselves it’s much easier to give up.

I really want to see him succeed and I want him to understand how the little things all add up and how credit cards are a revolving door leading to no where but a black hole unless they are paid in full.

We started tracking our spending in all areas and couldn’t believe how much money we were wasting each month on things like dining out or shopping at Costco!- Nurse Frugal

This may be tough for him but I will be there to support him along the way. We all make mistakes and he may fall off the budget bandwagon but that’s OK we will stay optimistic and get right back on if it happens although we won’t jinx it before we start. I know he doesn’t want to the world to see him fail and I hope that will be the push he needs to work hard on living by my motto “It’s not about how much money you make, it’s how you save it”.

If you’ve been a fan of Canadian Budget Binder you know Jen P and I have worked together on her family budget the past 2 years and they have gone from being in debt to gaining back control of their finances.

The journey to financial freedom is not easy but if we only invested the time in our own business which is essentially our own lives we would see the path that we need to take.

We put so much effort into our own careers and making others rich we forget about the very people who we need to worry about and that is ourselves and our families.

So, I leave you today with the promise to help my best friend get his finances on track and even if I have to lock him up in a closet and take all of his credit cards away to stop him from spending I will do it.

Well, I won’t take that drastic of measures but I certainly will push, motivate and show him what money can do and what money can’t do if it’s not spent and saved the right way.

I hope you will join me on this journey with him and offer your tips and personal experiences as he will be reading along and I know that he will appreciate everything that my fans have to offer.

Have you ever helped someone with their finances before?

If you want to start budgeting you can now download our personal budget for free!!

You can also download many other free tools like grocery lists and more to help you along the way on your journey towards debt freedom.

Top recipe

 

turkish-kurabiye-cookies

Every day Food Bloggers from around the world pass by my other love the Free Recipe Depot Facebook page to share a daily recipe which I share with my fans.

This weeks Top Recipe comes from a blog called ‘Ginger Lemon and Spice’ where they shared these lovely Turkish Kurabiye cookies which go well with a hot or cold beverage any time of the day.

 

Weekly reads

 

Every week I share a few of the best personal finance blog posts that I read over the past week with all of you so please enjoy my top picks.

Well, that’s a wrap for this Friday’s grab a brew #48 so happy saving and I’ll see you here again next week when I do it all over again.

Mr. CBB

 

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Mr. CBB
I’m from the UK and now a recent permanent resident in Canada. I bought my first house at the age of 21 after University then my second at the age of 24. I’ve always been fascinated with personal finance, savings, learning to make money and watch it grow while combating debts along the way. Canadian Budget Binder is a place where I get to share my experiences with personal finance and learn about yours along the way. I hope you stick around and check me out on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest where I am active on all social media sites. Cheers, Mr.CBB
Mr. CBB
Mr. CBB

Comments

  1. Thank you for the mention Mr CBB have a nice weekend!
    Pauline recently posted…Is it Justifiable to Spend a lot on the Holidays?My Profile

  2. Mary F. Campbell says:

    I have helped a few people along the way… one gave up before they started and refused to implement a budget that we had designed together and that would have helped them have a retirement fund, travel annually and have an emergency savings all the while living reasonably high on the hog … within their budgetary constraints. Obviously they were more invested in whining and sniveling than actually taking the bull by the horns and making some changes that really only meant a slight DELAY in their gratification.

    The second individual I helped probably did not change their spending ways either because the only thing that was keeping him from “blowing the wad” on some new toy was the fact that I asked to see the progress he was making on the 1st of each month. I was more like a mother figure with a small child than a friend to a fifty some-odd fellow but as soon as I kicked him to the curb for completely unrelated reasons…I would bet my life savings that he “showed me who was in charge” as he bought himself another new and expensive toy rather than thinking about improving his life situation for the sake of his son.

    The third individual that I assisted is my now husband. He had a little debt when we met and somewhat limited savings even though he was always a very frugal shopper. Like many individuals, he had no investment experience and I worked with him to grow $ into $$$$. He got completely onboard and remains so to this very day! There was a saver in him but he just needed a little guidance. He loves to bug me that as soon as our money hits the bank…it’s gone to the land of savings. He’s also very conscious that he has all his needs met, regularly has a want or two met and plus we travel when we want and have savings growing towards our full retirement days.

    I told him this morning that his entire pay cheque had been moved, except his $40 spending money, into a high interest account that loaned him the funds to max out his 2013 RRSP contribution at 0% interest. Basically, he got his money tax sheltered months earlier than he would have if we waited for this pay day to max him out. Money sure grows faster inside an RRSP or TFSA than it does outside of one! I also advised him that the transfer this morning meant that our high interest account has enough of a balance in it now that we can contribute his full 2014 contribution for him as soon as we know what the figure is. Just learning to max out his RRSP as early in the year as possible is giving him longer time with compounding income & therefore more retirement income in the long run. He knows now that ALL tax refunds resulting from his RRSP contributions are used to fund future RRSP contributions and not for spending. It makes creating a decent retirement a lot easier than the other way around. Now that hubby’s RRSP contribution for next year is handled, it’s time to tackle my RRSP and SPOUSAL RRSP contributions for him plus our 2014 contributions for the TFSA’s. I have already got a little set aside for each. There is always a savings project for the current “want” and that is the new normal he learned from me. He’s next up for a new laptop in our technology replacement schedule… so we save every penny we can for that desired purchase now. LOL

    • Hi Mary,
      Thank you so much for this comment. I know when he reads this it will open his eyes to what could be if he doesn’t get on board because you are right people do whine when they can’t spend. We have to stop making excuses to buy stuff when there is no money to pay for it other than plastic. That is the hardest concept for people to grasp as they tell themselves they will pay it little at a time or next month or next pay and that never ever happens because something else comes up, thus the hole gets deeper. Your husband has a smart woman on his side but he’s also smart to listen and learn because you are both in a great spot. I hope the wife and I can ramp up our investments as well as soon as I pay this mortgage which seems to be taking me a while but the pound keeps going up and now I’m holding off….I need to top up my TFSA and RRSP but she’s only down $5k to max TFSA from the start. CBB

  3. 4 years ago I went to my wife and asked how much debt we had. I let her take care of it for the most part. She was afraid to tell me. When She did, I almost hit the floor. The defenses went up immediately. I surprised her when I said “It doesn’t matter where we are or what we did to get here. What matters now is what we do to get out of this.” 2 years later we were completely debt free. The financial discussions need to take place in families without blame, without argument. Otherwise, you’re going to wind up in a sea of hurt and debt.
    Eric recently posted…3 “I Done Goods” From Thanksgiving 2013My Profile

    • You are not alone as many couples hide the fact they are in debt, going into debt or simply don’t know until they actually run the numbers. I’m pretty sure my best friend will have a bit of a shock but the most important part is moving forward you are right. I’m sure when he reads your comment it will give him hope that there is light at the end of the tunnel, something that people can fail to see when numbers are high in debt.

  4. Christine Weadick says:

    I’m sure your friend will appreciate the help you give him as we appreciate the help you give us here. There will be days he gets discouraged but you will be there for him to help him up. I look forward to see him make it!!!
    Those cookies look good!!! Have to check those out!!! It might take me a while to get through the list of blogs to read as I’m in London with the grandson this weekend. I’ll be stocking up on all those little boy hugs and smooches!!!!! Have a good weekend…..

    • Thanks Christine as I know he is hesitant so all the support we can give him will help him along the way. It’s the skeptic in him that drives his optimism when it comes to him budgeting. He doesn’t see the little things adding up, but that will all change. Have fun with your grandson Christine… you are so loving. Cheers Mr.CBB

  5. Thank you so much for the mention! I hope you are having a great weekend!
    kelly @stayingonbudget recently posted…Weekend Reading #11My Profile

  6. Good luck with your friend and hopefully his financial picture will start to turn around.

    Have a fantastic weekend :)

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