Single Millionaire Paid The Price To Get Where He Is Today

dinner plate servi ce price paidWE ALL HAVE A STORY

 

People may criticize the way you live your life but they might not know the price you paid to get where you are today.

Stories often go untold because people are shy to say what they had to endure to become the person they are.

I don’t talk about my life growing up with my friends but if they want to talk to me about theirs I’m happy to listen. It’s quite amazing what you learn about people once they open up about their upbringing and past.

 

The price you pay

 

You might have heard or read about those rags to riches stories which for some people hit home because they too were faced with situations that were unique but they overcame them.

You don’t have to be a superstar to be deemed successful today all you need to do is believe in yourself. Those that don’t put in the effort to achieve their goals are often the people who put down those who pushed the limits to achieve their own.

Believing that everyone with cash has or had the easy life is absurd. Just like others some of these rich people might have lost their families, relationships or went through struggles to live out their dream. That’s the price some people are willing to pay. Is it worth it? Only you can make that call.

I’m no millionaire but I do push the limits to success because that’s the type of guy that I am. Mrs.CBB didn’t bank on me going back to school for almost 7 years of learning and working to get where I am today. She could have walked away as some spouses do because they want that “instant cash and success“.

Thank-fully my wife is not like that. Life is not easy that is for certain but without knowing the price we paid for love and money you can’t assume anything about us.

Today I have a story rather than a question from a fan who wanted to share the price he paid for his success and what others think about him.

Dear Mr.CBB

I’m often the type of person who would shy away from money conversations but the other day someone said something to me that really set me off.

I’m a successful business owner who is worth a couple of million dollars now but that didn’t happen over night. I had to work years to build my growing empire and I continue to do so on a daily basis.

Before you wonder why or ask why I’m even here at a budgeting blog, let me explain. I read a story that caught my attention in 2012 about your father who said you only get one shot at life. That’s it and I haven’t left as I enjoy reading your personalized posts.

Yes, I budget my money and no I don’t just blow it on whatever I want. I don’t have limo drivers nor do I live in a mansion with maids, butlers and service people grooming the property. I live in a small modern and updated bungalow by myself as I’m not married yet but hope to be one day.

Here is the situation I was faced with and want to share with your fans.

Someone I know well in casual conversation made the remark that the reason I’m not married is because no woman would want to be with a man like me. I stopped and said “Like me, what do you mean?”  What’s wrong with me I thought to myself?

He replied that most women don’t want a man who is worth millions yet frugal.

Wait a minute here, so because I have money I have to splash it all over the place to fall in love? No, that’s not what love is all about. It may be to some men but for me. Money wasn’t the reason I started my business. I have skills that I put to work and I believe in my product.

What he didn’t know was that I grew up very poor. My parents were on welfare for a good portion of my childhood. My dad lost his job and became an alcoholic drinking beer just about every other day. When you are the person who supports the family and then your job is down-sized it really takes a piece out of you.

My mother she was too depressed to care.

We lost our house because my parents couldn’t pay for the mortgage so we had to move into an apartment. Most of our belongings we sold for money to get us by until welfare was put in place.

Most nights we would have to find food to eat as the cupboards and refrigerator had very little food. My parents made their way to the food bank or other charities more times than I care to remember although I’m grateful for them. Today I support them with donations every month as a reminder of my past life and to help others in need.

I kept to myself as a child and had one or two close friends that I would have over to the apartment once in a while or I’d go to their place. I studied hard because school meant that I would get my ticket out of this life. I hated living on welfare and seeing other kids getting things I could only dream of.

My parents could have worked but never found work right away. They didn’t try hard enough if at all and the booze and depressed state they were in didn’t help. Once they were paid to stay home they seemed to fall into a new world of living. Thankfully that didn’t last.

My parents whom I love dearly are still together but don’t care to talk about the past. My father eventually quit drinking and found a job but it took them years to get back on their feet. They won’t accept any money from me as they want me to use it to better my life.

Life took a twist for me having a dad with a good income to no food in the house. I didn’t have anyone paving the way with money when I went to University. I took out school loans like everyone else and had to pay them back like everyone else.

I promised myself that I would do whatever it took to become successful and to live the life that my parents wanted for me. It was never their intention to hit rock-bottom but sometimes all it takes is an event or series of events to trigger a reaction.

As a child it was devastating for me but I needed to break that cycle and I did that and I will continue to do that if I have children. I don’t want them worrying about if they have clothes for school with holes in them, food or school supplies.

So, back to Mr. Know it All who thinks that no woman will date me because I don’t spend money like water. That may be true but I do know that when the right woman comes around that money won’t be the basis of our relationship. True love, I believe in it and somewhere, someone is waiting for me to whisk them away.

I agree that dating someone with debt is difficult but the same goes when dating when you have money. You don’t know who is after you for the bank account or if they actually are falling in love. Getting your heart broken hurts like I’m sure everyone knows.

My advice to your readers is to not judge people because you don’t know what they had to endure to get where they are today. No man or woman will stay in love if money is the glue that holds them together.

I just wanted to get that off my chest because it was lingering in my head and I knew that your fans write to you so I thought I’d share my story.

I may be a single millionaire but at the end of the day I still have to live with the man I’ve become from my past and current experiences.

-BW

 

Thanks BW for sharing your story and thank-you for following my blog.

All too often people assume that those with money have to spend it on extravagant items to show their level of wealth. That’s not the case at all. Before I met my wife I had women contacting me often looking to date.

I’ll admit I’m picky when it comes to women and I had something similar happened to me minus the rough upbringing. A guy friend of mine told me that a certain woman wanted to go on a date with me and that she thought I was sexy (I’m just saying what he said).

I was busy with work and a relationship was the furthest thing from my mind but I agreed to go on a date with her. She was beautiful and had a great smile but that’s about as far as it went.

The entire conversation over dinner revolved around money, my career and how great it was that I owned my home. She had no job, no education or plans to go back to school either (I asked). What on earth did she plan to do for money? She had been on government assistance for the past year.

Obviously we had no connection but it was some of the things she said that scared me away especially that she thought I must have had money because I owned a home.

I wouldn’t have cared so much that she had fallen on rough times but there was no motivation to get back out there and build a life financially for herself. When you are dating you don’t get much time to impress during the first and if there is a second date and she failed.

Homes in the UK are pricey and I’ll admit I had a decent house for a single guy before I moved to Canada but that wasn’t the first home I had owned. I bought my first home at 21 so the money was rolled into the new house along with working my tail off and saving like crazy.

I can understand how frustrating it may have been for BW when people think he should act a certain way just because he has money. I’ve never been as rich as him (I hope to one day) but I wasn’t struggling either.

What I can’t relate to is the price he paid to get where he is today apart from dedication and hard work. By the sounds of it BW you have gone through many things that a child should never go through but it happens every day. Situations surround us that we don’t even hear about.

What’s inspiring is how you took one bad situation and turned it into something as successful as your own business. You wanted to live a different life than what you had growing up and you succeeded to do just that.

I have no doubt in my mind that every time you wanted to give up all you had to do was think back to the days of empty cupboards and dark times in your home for that motivational push.

I guess the saying “Don’t judge a book by its cover” will live on forever. Everyone has a story to tell and everyone’s story will be different so never assume anything about anyone.

Congratulations on your success and best of luck in the love department. Sorry I’m no Millionaire Match Maker but you never know how or where you will meet your true love.

-Mr.CBB

Can you relate to anything BW went through to get where he is today?

Is it really anyone’s business what you do and don’t do with your money?

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Mr. CBB
Mr. CBB was born and raised in the United Kingdom who then moved to Canada where he is a permanent resident. He recently became a father to a very busy toddler who allows him to be a kid at heart. He bought his first house at the age of 21 after University and his second at the age of 24. Both Mr.CBB and his wife are Debt and Mortgage Free and they did it all in under 5 years using a Budget. Canadian Budget Binder is a place where he shares their financial experiences with his readers and hopes to learn about theirs. Welcome to CBB!
Mr. CBB
Mr. CBB

Comments

  1. I had similarly rough times in my late teens and 20s having to support my parents who’d lost their businesses and were battling various illnesses, and I’ll say that meeting someone who was like minded about money and other values like BW would have been awesome. My husband learned to be careful with money because he was willing to change his ways, not because I nagged him but because he saw value in it, and I’m positive there are other people out there who would similarly appreciate learning from and being with people like us. My money savvy friends tell PiC he’s lucky to have me every time we have a rough spot (like this year) because they know how hard I work at making it all work for us, and I’m lucky to have a partner who didn’t have the same tough background but still wants to work in partnership with me. That’s what love and marriage is about – partnership!

    We have character, and shouldn’t ever worry about what other people think on THAT score!

  2. This is awesome thank you for writing your blog. I struggled with money all my life on income assistance disability. I don’t know why it’s been so hard for me to budget mostly paying rent being single. I’ve seen people in worse situations over 50,000 in credit card debts I consider my self lucky. Actually a stranger did help me out I did reach out on line I get what your saying thier are a lot of scammers out there and what your saying is use your common sense. I my self agree with you help out if someone is short change in grocery line but helping some one on line or homeless if you have enough to feed your self or your family. When some one helped me it changed my life and it gave me hope there are still a few good people out there. I got a place to live that I am renting and start over. If I didn’t reach out to a stranger. I would not be where I am. Safety and common sense. I know it’s hard when you have millions, and you just want to find a women that truly loves you or man if your a woman. My dad did find true love there is hope. Again thank you for all your information your blog is inspirational helpful and very cool totally useful. Now I’m renting a place just moving forward I may have a disability but I know of people who are millionaires or successful and have a disability to. My step mom told me keep trying and that’s what I am doing cheers

  3. Thank you for sharing! I am always inspired with this kind of post. We shouldn’t judge a person because we’re not in the place to judge. This post inspires me so much.

  4. Great post! It’s sad that these money illusions are still out there but until society changes their overall perspective on what is “success” there will always be people out there to put down those that are different. I had a great childhood, with only a few close friends partially because of how I was treated being in a middle class family that was well off. Friends that didn’t have as much or didn’t have the yearly family vacation, started calling me “rich bitch”. I became jaded toward who was a legitimate friend and who was trying to get somewhere or something from me. What many of them didn’t know was my father was a very frugal man and we didn’t stay in luxury hotels on vacations, we stayed in B&Bs. He also never owned a new car and did all the work around the house himself. I never had fancy designer duds in high school, it was what was in the budget.
    On the dating front, telling people I’m a personal finance blogger can be a challenge too – some think its fun, others have that same stigma towards frugality that they did towards Mr. BW, they think I’m frugal or cheap and its something bad.
    Thanks for sharing!

  5. I loved all the comments and stories, thanks everyone for sharing!

    Thinking back on my childhood, I was both unlucky and very fortunate to grow up in 2 worlds: my father’s family was well-off, but my mother’s was the opposite. It was weird to experience both types of family gatherings – with one group it was all about living the high life (overseas vacations, expensive gifts, nice restaurants), while with the other group there was scrimping and saving (public transportation, saving leftovers, etc.).

    The unfortunate part of my upbringing was that it was difficult to make true friends – I was afraid that the “rich kids” wouldn’t accept the other part of me, and that the “poor kids” would be jealous, difficult, greedy, etc. if they experienced the “good life”. Of course, I’m simplifying a great deal, but I’m trying to be concise.

    The fortunate part, which I didn’t appreciate until I had grown up, was knowing that both groups had their personal problems. For example, broken hearts can happy in both rich and poor households, disobedient/rebellious kids are found on both sides of the tracks, happiness does not depend on income/wealth, a healthy sex life is not dependent on expensive toys/gifts, the best things in life are free, etc. etc. etc. Again, I am simplifying.

    So, I fully understand why someone who grew up poor would tend to be frugal. I also know of many persons who grew up poor, and are now relatively well-off, who make a big show of “being rich”, *lol*. I can also appreciate the worries of someone rich who’s worried about potential suitors, as well as the comments about choosing a mate without checking their bank balance. If your other half complements you, or admires you, even if they are as poor as a church mouse…If your spouse (male or female) is willing to stay home…raise the kids right…massage your feet when you’re stressed return…pack you a delicious lunch in the mornings…host marvellous dinners for your business partners, clients, extended family…stay faithful to you, etc. etc. they are PRICELESS, and should be treated as such. Don’t confuse valuable people with valuable things.

    Best wishes to all, and thanks for sharing.

    • Thank-you so much for sharing your story. I never gave much thought to those who grow up experiencing both worlds like you have. Bring rich is just two words… what one believes is rich another believes is poor. As long as we have all we need that’s what matters.

  6. A real valuable lesson and story that Mr. BW shared.
    I’m not that old or experienced, but I’ll share mine, just so you understand from a woman’s point of view.
    My dad used to do some business with the Greeks and among his principles he also thought that if you’re given the opportunity, you should live with your business partners under the same roof. We had a 2 storey house, built with a lot of sweat and savings, so my dad’s business partner lived on the 1st floor and us on the second. We are 4: mom, dad, my brother and I, and our parents who didn’t have much wanted to give us something, at least a separate room, toys, books, music, vinyl discs, a cooked meal and lots of love. Dad says that love is the foundation of our family.

    When I was 8, he came home and showed me a 100$ bill and said “Roxy, this is money”, I wanted to take it and he added: “No, no, this is our money, someday you’ll make it your own”. When I was 10, his business partner taught me what Sales meant: I would go buy him 2 packs of cigarettes from the local store, and keep the change. That was my commission and it went pretty well. I’m not a native English speaker, but because I had access to education, I learned how to speak from an early age. In the 7th grade, my dad would pay me to do the “secretary” work and send his business emails (and write them) to his business partners. It was already a big step from commission to a small paycheck. Business went bad though at one point, and all the expenses went to my brother’s university fees. So I had to learn another way to make money: I knew how to play chess and I’d push my way to paid tournaments, winning them and getting the prize. I’d have enough to buy stuff for myself or to lend mom or dad when they needed it.

    By the time I was in 9th grade, I mastered the art of winning tournaments. I studied hard to receive a high school scholarship. I did the homework of upper classes and get extra. I managed to get noticed by a local radio and get a regular spot every afternoon (weekdays) and have an on air show with music and dedications. I used to go drinking in this low-looking bar, a B&B, and because I knew how to speak English and French aside from my mother tongue, I’d help the foreigners visiting our small mountain town and get a fee out of it + all travelling costs covered + gifts. In the winter, I’d look to rent cabins for new year’s eve to large groups of tourists and get a commission. Then college came.

    I did my best to get into the free study program, so I won’t have to pay my tuition fee. I also received a scholarship. I joined a research team in my first year just to learn something more than just boring general Psychology. I learned Statistics, Data Analysis and all the mad-scientist tricks. I started freelancing in 2008, my 1st college year. I did design gigs and writing gigs. I launched my first virtual company when I was 20, in 2009. It was a startup, 2 people: my fiance and I. When we broke it off, we broke the company too. I returned to freelancing.
    In 2011, I moved to the capital city to follow a masters degree and have a change of scenery. I launched a 2nd company in 2012, with a business partner – this time, to physical or emotional involvement. It was okay for a while, but I didn’t feel like we were on the same terms: he loved making money, I wanted to grow a team and then grow the business. We parted a year later. After working 12hrs/day to keep the clients and to be profitable, my body decided to shut down, I couldn’t take it anymore. So I gave up my 50% shares.
    Speaking of love, I met my boyfriend in 2012, right before launching the company. We knew each other from a previous encounter, a campfire at the seaside back in 2009, but hardly spoken. However, there was a spark in 2012. A month after that, we moved in together and spent 2 years of our lives under the same roof.

    The problem with being “married” with your business and having a serious relationship with a significant other is that you cannot spot the differences. At the time of the company launch, he was all I ever wanted. After I gave up on the company, and rediscovered myself, going back to solo-preneurship, a gap started forming between us. He thought I made easy money because he was corporate and while going to a job from 8am to 6pm, he’d find it amazing to find me home, cooking fresh meals, making him lunch boxes for working, being active in bed and interested in his day and so on. He didn’t see my stressing and swearing and smoking a pack of cigarettes/day when he was away at work, while I was going crazy with client demands and tens of projects/month. I would earn at least 3 times more than him, so it must have been frustrating. Then he lost his job and I was there for him: morally, financially, supporting him in every possible way. I never complained, I’m not the type. I did my best for the man I loved. Of course, burnout came into matter at one point, so in 2014 we started to break apart. I needed him by my side, just a month of me taking a break from work and everything and for him to support me in every way possible that entire month (without the financial implications, I still had money saved). And that didn’t happen.

    I tried tango, I tried changing or adding some spice in our lives, nothing worked. Because I created a safe comfortable place, a feeling of “she’ll never leave me”. I don’t blame him. We weren’t on the same page. That was his limit and I asked more than he could give. My grandpa used to say “never ask a man for 25cents if he only has 15 in his pockets”. The break-up happened in my mind 3 months before I actually told him “I’m moving out in 1 week”. But it was hard, and unbearable and it broke me into pieces. It was hard to get up and to focus on business, so the only thing that saved me was dance, tango and some new friends I made while attending entrepreneurial meetups in the city, every week.

    It’s been a year now since the day I moved out. I went through all stages of solitude, emptiness, empty nest syndrome and so on. Business went up and down, made really bad investments and lost a lot of money. But I never gave up, I continued and now I’m looking at 2 startups launched this year and 1 virtual company with a project manager and 2 writers on board. It’s hard, but it’s gonna get better. I never give up, I’m a fighter. Money come and go, but they also find a way into my pockets, so I can’t complain.

    And with love… well, it’s really tricky. I went on dates, countless actually, trying to figure out what I want in a man, what makes me tick. It’s been disappointing, especially when you are a bit of a local celeb: they just google your name and find cover stories, tv interviews, mentions and more. I’m also a brand ambassador for an international company, teaching freelancers how to achieve financial freedom and work remotely. That doesn’t help either, because it’s hard to differentiate the people who are interested in you because of your experience in business and tips, from those who are genuinely interested in you, the person, no the business man/business woman.

    I don’t have enough fingers to count the times guys asked me out, the date going well in the first half only to become an interview of “tell me more about your business, how you made it” and to end in “call me if you ever need my help in your projects”. I don’t know why people think talking about business on a date is the way to get to his/her heart, really. And it’s like so many are so obsessed with money. When you have so many conversation topics, you have books, movies, music, art, crazy stuff happening in the city, events, cinemas, parks, biking areas, mountains, sea, lakes, psychology, politics, world causes, campaigns, children, family principles, friendship, trees, earth, water, culture, habits, hobbies and more.
    It’s like nobody gives a damn about you and all they do is turn a date into a hunt for money.

    It’s not only the women, it’s also the men. But I wouldn’t call those women and men, I’d call them girls and boys who do not like to use their brains, who lead a shallow life and who could never add value to my own.

    I have some “friends” too who tell me “oh, you’re so famous, you look fine, you’re smart and independent, you have money, how about you buy someone’s affection?” – and that’s when I burst out in flames and want to tell them my story. But they are not worth the energy and the effort. It’s meaningless to share your story with people who would never relate to it or understand it.
    They could have wanted more for themselves, but they didn’t. They go out drinking in the afternoon, after their job is over, while I sit home and prepare my workshops and teach people for free how to achieve financial freedom and to be responsible for themselves. Nobody knows the sweat, the sleepless nights – and even now, it’s 4:40am and I’m taking a break from work by writing this long comment – who knows if anyone’s going to read it – while the majority of people in my country sleep and get ready for another day of complaining and never doing anything for themselves.

    After so much time, I’ve learned that love is something that doesn’t relate to money, fortune or fame, but you need to meet the right person who understands you, who outsmarts you in some areas and is being outsmarted by you in other areas, who complements your existence with theirs. Only then you actually grow and become the best version of yourself. And probably that is why it’s so hard to find that one person to love and who loves you back equal. Money has nothing to do with it, except point out the wrong partner, because the wrong partner will be frustrated and jealous if you earn more than them, and will not value, appreciate, respect or understand your work.

    Thank you again for sharing a wonderful story, Mr. CBB.
    And for Mr. BW, don’t lose hope, keep searching for Love, it’s out there and it has nothing to do with money. And screw what others say, they aren’t wearing your shoes and certainly, they don’t put food on your table.

    Lots of love,

    Roxana

    p.s. Sooooo sooorry for the long long post, I have a habit of writing a lot. ^^

    • Mary F Campbell says:

      Great post Roxana! Someone once asked me what was on my bucket list when it came to my life partner & I said simply that I needed to admire him and be admired by him. That admiration means I trust, respect and love them already because as a person…they are worth it! They are someone I look up to and hope to emulate in some way to become a better me. It’s the admiration that differentiates my life partner from the rest of the world. They are already an awesome human being, without me, but with my support & encouragement they rise to new personal heights and achieve even more of their own personal goals. I try to offer that unconditional support every day and have enjoyed being offered the same from him. On my wedding day my father asked me if I loved him enough to always put his needs ahead of mine. He said if we could both commit a firm yes to that question…we were destined to a life of happiness. I am his first concern every day and he is mine so we both flourish & achieve our wants and needs with the support of a very loving partner. 🙂

      • Hey, Mary.

        Yes, love should be about trust, about making the significant other be the best version of themselves, by empowering them to achieve more, by sharing the happiness (which should be there already before he/she comes your way – because how can you make someone else happy if you’re not happy, right?). He/she puts you first, and you put them first in return, and that equality and that’s being on the same level.
        It’s also about being there when times are rough. We had times in our family, when for two years dad was unemployed, before he went into international business, and mom was the only one bringing money home. But that made us stronger. They always feel that as parents, they could have done more, but my brother and I, we always tell them they gave us enough: we had love, they always took care of us, always had food on the table, we dealt with our problems inside and not outside the family. Even if we were young, we’ve always known the financial state in our home and how much it cost having a freaking big house, because they thought my brother and I would remain there, then realized a small town isn’t a good place to develop our potential.

        I’ve learned from my parents who have been married for 32 years that being there for each other and for your family keeps you warm and stable even in unstable times. Everyone faces hardships, it’s how we learn from them and what lessons we take on into our own lives. I’m still young, I’ll be 26 in May, so I may be missing some details in life, but someday I hope I can look back with someone by my side and tell to myself: “That was one hell’of a ride, but totally worth it”. 🙂

  7. Very inspiring and encouraging story and it was a pleasure to read. One question I would ask Mr. BW if he is willing to continue any type of a conversation with the “discourager”? Really, what a rude, insensitive person that was!

  8. Hi BW, thank you for sharing your story. I can relate to it in the sense that I also have a decent NW, and I take good care of my money since I have made every cent on my own. I also live in Guatemala at the moment, which means the vast majority of people around me only make a fraction of what I do, yet if they get close some have no worries wasting my money. It can be the cleaner throwing a plate full of food when in her house it would be eaten as leftovers for days, or people invited for dinner who would have as many bottles of wine as humanely possible just because they can. I don’t expect people to reciprocate invitations the same way, but I expect them to act in my house as they would in theirs.
    When dating, I always stay vague with financial details for as long as possible, worrying the guy may either feel bad or see an opportunity.
    And that can happen to you with dating too. A girl who usually goes for a cup of coffee on a first date will demand you guys go to the best restaurant in town.
    On your side, you may always be concerned that girls like you for your money too, but I hope for the right person you will be ready to share. I mean after all, money is made to be enjoyed and I hope if you find that special person you’ll want to enjoy it with her, and not hoard it. Taking a trip together, sharing nice experiences… is more valuable than buying her stuff for sure. Your money could also give your family the freedom to have a stay at home parent, or for you to retire early and spend more time with your family. For me that is the whole purpose of money, to buy freedom and quality time.
    Having grown poor, that is probably something you will have a hard time with, as you may still worry something could happen and you could be thrown in the street again, but your frugality will never let that happen, and you are smart enough to be able to get back on your feet if it ever does.
    There is a balance, and you can be careful with your money while still enjoying some of it.
    The right person will have similar values to yours and you can spot that after a couple of dates. Which is kind of positive since you won’t spend months or years dating the wrong person before you find out about the deal-breaker.

  9. I wish BW all the luck in the world in finding the love of his life. If it was me, I would be questioning (to myself), why is this person with me…

    I can honestly say that I won’t be a millionaire but I honestly don’t think it matters if you are a millionaire or just keeping your head above water. If you can learn from the your (or your parents) past and move forward, what else can life afford you?

  10. BW, when you find your match, she’ll stick around because she loves you and not your money. You’re right, marriages can’t be built around money.

  11. Mary F Campbell says:

    BW, thank you for sharing your story. My 1st husband made a very good income as an engineer BUT he spent, gambled and drank it away as quickly as the funds hit his pocket. I was the frugal one in our marriage, on a salary of about 1/4 what he made, but with that we managed to have a very pleasant lifestyle (certainly not as millionaires) until I made the choice that his violence under the influence of alcohol was not an endearing quality that I planned to endure. I believe anyone can make one mistake and offered our marriage a second chance but when he threatened me a second time, I threw him out!

    No way was I going to be anyone’s personal punching bag! That statement colored my outlook on relationships and my future dating patterns and the setting my personal boundaries until after 8 long years as acquaintances, then friends, then best friends, eventually room mates and finally as a couple… I decided to risk my emotional health a second time and I married my 2nd husband. My very best friend in the world had earned my trust, respect and love – one day at a time for 8 solid years. He was patient and kind and instinctively knew that I needed to be handled with kid gloves or I would bolt rather than risk being hurt a second time.

    He has never earned the kind of money the first husband pulled down but he treats me like an absolute queen and that is invaluable! He has always stood by my side in the toughest and darkest of times for me i.e. the death of my mother and a an MVA where I was so badly injured that I could not walk for 6 months and he has done whatever it took to make my life easier during these adversities. That was while we were friends… how could I not fall in love with a man that was everything I had ever dreamed that I would find in a partner? He has worked with me every step of the way to build the best possible life that we can possibly achieve, all the while realizing that tomorrow is not guaranteed and cherishing every moment that we share as we share them. He wasn’t financially well versed when I first met him, but he’s been quick as a whip to learn how to get every spare penny working for us and thus protecting our vision of the future that we want to share. I pray we live a long and healthy life together, but just in case it is shorter lived, we are committed to building happy memories for the surviving spouse every single day of every single year. Those memories don’t have to be expensive – just happy, sharing love and time together. 🙂

    Over the course of the almost 30 years that we have shared, hubby has needed my financial support a couple of times. Once due to being downsized and having to re-train and the second time with a health issue. I did what it took to stay our course and worked two full time jobs. My health took a hit a few years back and we now live on one income… because he’s more than happy to see me run our business from home even though we re-invest the income in building our company as opposed to paying me a salary. He’s far more interested in making sure we are together for a long and happy life rather than with the dollar figure that I could add to our net assets if I was working outside the home again. I also handle all of our financial, accounting, investment and tax affairs so despite being unpaid, I am still a valuable member of our financial team! 🙂

    BW, I have had a number of “friends” resent my frugal ways and tell me I am rich by their standards. Really, what is rich? Five dollars is rich to someone with no food or money and nowhere to sleep. Been there, done that at the end of the 1st marriage. I wouldn’t be sharing the wonderful life my husband that we enjoy today if I had adopted “those friends” spending habits and justified their choices and beliefs rather than my own. I fully support you staying your course! Eventually when you least expect it, and maybe are least prepared for it, “Miss Right” will come along. She may be there now but you just don’t see her in that light…yet! I have no doubt that when the time is right, you will have things lined up in such a way that you can devote the time and energy to a spouse and possibly a family because you have a solid financial future in place for them all.

  12. Pffft, the person who told you that no one would date you because you’re frugal is full of it! There are a LOT of couples out there that are frugal, together! I can name off a raft of personal finance bloggers who fit into that category, like Mr.& Mrs.1500, Mr& Mrs Frugalwoods, MMM, etc. etc. etc.
    My spouse and I are frugal in some regards but not on others.
    Rest assured that you’re the one who has their financial ducks in a row and your friend probably does not.

    • I agree, your so-called friend is saying MUCH more about himself (and his attitude) than he is saying about you. How I wish I had met someone with your values and common sense, when I was younger and much less sensible. I wish you the very best in your future endeavours and relationships, you are a gem!

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