Why a healthy relationship takes more than just money

LOVE IS THE KEY TO HAPPINESS   A healthy relationship based on true love takes work, mistakes and lots of glue to keep it together no matter how wealthy a couple is. The misconception that couple’s who live a stress free, debt-free money induced lifestyle must be happy is so far gone it’s a shame that people put so much weight on money and love. Hollywood is a classic example of how being rich isn’t everything, pre-nups are. Every month some A-lister or ‘successful someone’ is getting divorced and guess what… they have money. I know people who feel they are not good enough for love because they aren’t rich, don’t have successful careers or fit the role of supermodel. Forget all that crap, would you. It’s one thing to lead a motivated life but it’s another to focus so much on what you do want that you may miss opportunities. Sure, you don’t have to settle because finding the ideal partner is important but don’t let a list of “must-have’s” consume you unless you don’t mind being single forever or in a relationship based on what you believe is a healthy relationship. Have you heard this before? It must […]

How to prevent financial secrets in a relationship

TOGETHER MEANS TWO   Unfortunately if you are married debt is a family affair and if there are any financial secrets hiding in your closet you still may be on the hook for them. “My spouse secretly racked up credit card debt.” How many times have we heard that scenario, over and over again? A guy I know went through this relationship changing scenario with his now ex-wife. He got married shortly after University to the woman of his dreams. She was a happy, smart woman whom he had lots of fun with and they connected well, they were in love. On the outside it seemed like she had her stuff together. I met her a few times and she was always pleasant. Over the years they bought a house and worked their way up the corporate ladder. It was in 2012 when his wife lost her job due to downsizing that everything went downhill for them, and fast. She struggled to find a new job in her field of work that year but as far as he knew she was still looking for work. They had less and less money to keep their huge house running so they had […]

Sneaky wife teaches husband a money lesson he won’t forget

MY MONEY YOUR MONEY OUR MONEY   It’s unfortunate in relationships when both partners aren’t on the same page financially and extreme measures are taken to teach a money lesson. It sounds a bit daft but to be honest when I read this fan question I felt sorry for her but I also applauded her for taking such a desperate step to teach her husband that money is a weighty issue. Although I am completely on board when it comes to telling all of you to talk about finances BEFORE you are married I also understand that for some people it never happens. In fact some couples assume the man is in charge of the money which seems a bit odd but that’s the way it goes. Most people I’ve ever chatted to it seems like the woman does all the money hugging and pays all the bills while the husband nods and takes it all in with a smile. Let’s be honest here money management isn’t a fun job for lots of people especially when there isn’t cash to splash around. I’m pretty sure when debt is deep or when money is on the brain because creditors will come […]

Why marrying for financial security back-fired on her

MONEY ONLY GOES SO FAR   It’s true that money happiness can be stretched to certain limits but eventually that financial security that so many crave turns to a desire to be loved especially if they married for all the wrong reasons. Sometimes I wonder if we learn about love and money from the way we are brought up. We either look for what our parents were or total opposite, what they were not. Don’t teach your children to find someone based on financial security because you may just be doing your child an injustice of having to rely on someone else for their happiness. Teach them to be independent and that true love will come when they least expect it.   Believe in yourself   If we could all see the numbers hidden behind the scenes of customers at financial institutions there would be even more unhappy marriages ending in divorce. Why? Some people marry for money because they think it’s the only way to create happiness in their lives, especially when they aren’t motivated by their own success. This may even lead to controlling relationships. People may not believe in their abilities to become financially successful so they […]

Can lending money ruin friendships?

DO WHAT MAKE MAKES SENSE TO YOU   Friendships consist of mutual likes or dislikes or even complete opposites because one person will bring something out of the other. Either way you look at it friends are different from family but can still be just as close. There’s that old saying “You can choose your friends not your family” and for some unfortunate people out there that can be true. Differing views on how each individual runs their lives or what they consider to be important changes from person to person.     Family   I’m sure there’s been times that my parents have had to bite their tongue when it comes to our family and their money situations. Although Mr. CBB is stable with his finances, it doesn’t hold true for my siblings. I somehow was much more aware when my parents taught us about money from a young age. You remember the money-box I spoke about just recently. This is where more financial lessons come into play. I carried those money lessons right up to University and into purchasing my first home at a young age. My parents have had to lend out money more than a few […]

How to handle when your spouse spends too much money

When Money Becomes A Problem   Money can easily become an issue in a marriage when one spouse spends more than the couple earns. Whether the spending habit was there before the union or it occurs as the marriage progresses it must be addressed before it spirals out of control. As I was walking to my car the other day leaving a grocery store my eye caught a woman walking back towards her car. Her husband was waiting at the car as she was throwing her hands up in the air obviously annoyed, as she approached their vehicle. I heard her say ‘I thought we had money on that card’. I am assuming she was unsuccessful paying for their grocery bill which brought up a lot of issues with her spouse. Her husband with an irritated look on his face got out of the car and proceeded to head back into the store with her. Not knowing their story and why the expected funds were not available I can only assume that there was a lack of communication or an oversight with their finances. I don’t know how this story ended as I minded my own business and continued to […]

Do men and women influence each others shopping habits?

HE SAYS SHE SAYS WHILE SHOPPING   Do men and women influence each others shopping habits? You bet they do and if you don’t agree next time you are out with your significant other keep your ears and eyes open and listen to the both of you talk. I’ve noticed during our shopping trips out, whether it be for food or not that we as a couple tend to influence each other when purchasing items. You’re probably going to say that real men go to the bar and watch hockey games while the women go out clothes shopping. The thing is, I love taking my wife out clothes shopping, picking out items for her to try on and let her know my honest opinion as to whether it’s just a try or a definite buy.   Buying clothes   We certainly swap roles when I walk round various shops looking for clothes. My wife takes on the role of picking out and then placing her statement of approval or not as the case may be on each item. Buying clothes on your own can be a little unrewarding because you only see what you want to see. Your partner should always be […]

Move In With Your Partner: The financial steps

TALK ABOUT MONEY FROM THE START By: Michelle A couple of weeks ago a friend of mine asked me a question: “Should I move in with my boyfriend?” Normally, I’m one to shell out advice in a matter of seconds, but this one had me a bit boggled. Moving in with a boyfriend or girlfriend can be quite a big leap for the relationship, and moving in too soon could have major ramifications both emotionally and financially.   Move In Ready Conversations   I’m a bit of a narcissist when it comes to love and relationships. I believe that the stars have to do more than just be in line for it to be “the right time.” Each person has to chip in and make some major steps- and that is especially true when it comes to getting financials ready for the big move in date. The first major step is to reveal your finances. Move in without knowing what’s in your partner’s pocketbook? HECK NO. While exchanging credit reports takes away the fun of it, a couple should be comfortable enough to sit down and hash out debts. If one person rebels or squirms away, that move in date […]

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