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Mr.or Mrs. Money Bags… Is that you?

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Who is Mr. or Mrs. Money Bags?  Well, are you the first person who pulls out his/her wallet always offering to pay? Do you have a friend who does this and you think they are super awesome?  Then you or they are likely acting like Mr. or Mrs. Money Bags unless you or they have bank accounts that need using up. Most people “imagine the freedom” to be rich as someone is keeping Ontario Lottery Gaming Corporation and the casinos in business.

Not everyone will become the millionaire but some sure act like they do all the way into what sometimes happens, bankruptcy or flaunting obnoxious behaviour. There is a suave etiquette that follows the well to do people-the right words,the right clothes, the sexy hair style, the latest gadgets, the right laugh, body language, smiles, white teeth, snazzy shoes, the glitzy friends etc. Television and internet often draws dreamers into fantasy land and they want so badly to be on a different level. Not necessarily movie star status but simply a level that their wallet and lifestyle simply can’t support. Some even fall into the shopping addiction trap which can add significant amounts of money to their ever-growing credit line.

Ok, so not everyone wants to be rich but what if you have friends who are this way. Your friends are important people in your life but how do you handle the way they want to spend money when you are around. Do you feel guilty because they are always playing Mr. or Mrs. Money Bags and now you feel obligated to return the favour? Are we really setting good examples for our children when it comes to finances by shelling out money we don’t have?

Being Rich doesn’t necessarily mean being wealthy or happy for that matter it can simply mean “middle class” in your circle of friends or in some cases a “wanna be” middle class. Splashing money around that you don’t have doesn’t move you up a level. Credit is the easiest form of money to get, in my opinion. As for the super wealthy “upper class” they are in a class of their own who may have  nothing better to do than get up in the morning and shoot ducks on their estate just to fill the day. Could they be one of the real housewives of Vancouver’s rich and élite who prance around from spa to shop for the next best outfit and pedicure.

Do you have friends who promise you something just so you go with them? Oh, come on, I’ll buy you a round of golf and a few beers. Do you allow them to buy your friendship, and then you feel guilty?

Recognizing the  Mr. or Mrs. Money Bags signs might help you to take a step back and re-evaluate your friendships and whether you need to be upfront with them or yourself. If you are spending more money than you earn each month and can’t balance the budget because you want others to believe you have what you don’t, you need to give your head a shake.

Don’t let others take control, you are the author of your life, don’t let anyone else write your book. Not many people know how to say, No I’m on a Budget or feel ashamed. No one needs to play catch me if you can because eventually you/they will get caught.

Feeling guilty when you are out with your friends with a burning feeling that you have to flip the bill not only can be damaging to your wallet but your self-esteem if everything crumbles.  How would it make you feel if they found out you were so far in debt or claiming bankruptcy? When they say the rich run with the rich most times it’s true. They want to do crazy over the top things, fancy vacations, posh hotels and transportation. If you don’t have the bank account to support these trends you may find you either are left behind or you become Mr. or Mrs. Money Bags. Some people have so much pride they will dig the hole until the end then pray a debt reduction plan will help them. IN some cases people pray for a miracle but we all know that doesn’t pay the bills.

Have you ever met a woman or a man who talks the talk and walks the walk but at the end of the day heads home to the less ritzy part of town. There’s no shame in that as many millionaires may live next door to you and don’t need to show off to fit in.  Does showing-off get you excited or thrilled or any further in life? Would you rather have a sexy frugal man or woman or a sexy fake rich guy or girl? Some may say yes it will and others like me will say if you’ve got it, you’ve got it and the rest will come. You can’t cover up a toad with a cloak and turn it into a prince and the same goes with humans, if you aren’t rich (in money) covering up with expensive clothes and spouting posh words won’t change the fact you are who you are.

My friend in the UK who we will call “Rambo” has a mum I like to call Mrs. Money Bags. His mother has a well-paying job and many senior level friends. Their relatives are working class and have average paying jobs like most of society. She lives with her husband in a small bungalow, with an in-ground pool and no garage. They have newer vehicles on credit and credit card bills that were huge as Rambo went on to tell me.

They also had kids who took advantage every step of the way and Rambo admits this. He knew mum would always pay, and never blinked an eye probably why he stayed home until he was almost 30. Although the house smaller compared to her friends Mc Mansions she used her wallet to compensate when they came around. I mean many people do live in normal average homes and have money. This is what she wanted them to believe.  We all have friends who always have the latest and greatest toys but could all be put on credit.

What happened?

She started out like Mrs. Money Bags to impress her friends and colleagues who then expected it from that point forward.

Even if at one point she hoped someone else would pay, it would never happen. The people she had in her presence simply didn’t have the money or thought, “oh that’s ok she always pays I’ll save my money”. She still is like this today and although they are debt free later than they could have been she will always be known as Mrs. Money bags unless she puts a stop to it.

How do Mrs.CBB and I stop ourselves from becoming Mr. or Mrs. Money Bags?

  1. We don’t pretend to be someone we’re not.  If you’re posh you’re posh, if you’re not, you’re not, just be you.
  2. We Save and Pay for own affairs,trips, etc and let others do the same.
  3. Hang out with friends who share expenses when it comes to having fun as a group and who understand that money doesn’t grow on trees.
  4. Don’t flash our money around or talk about it like we have so much we don’t know what to do with it.
  5. Don’t let others take advantage of us. If they borrow money they will pay it back although it’s rare we do this, if ever.
  6. We remember that being rich in love is more important than pretending to be someone we are not.
  7. We remember that someone else has it worse than us and we live in a society that has more than we will ever know.

I’m sure this could be an ongoing list and many fans who read this post can add to it.

Do you have friends that act like they are rich when they are not?

If you are NEW to Canadian Budget Binder Blog have a peak around to learn more about Budgeting, Finance, Frugal Tips, Recipes and more! I’m Mr.CBB your host and am always ready to chat…..

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  1. My rule is ‘never give a gift you can’t afford.’ This goes beyond money, but since money is the topic, I would only ever lend money that I could afford to gift. Things happen and sometimes your friends can’t pay or feel they don’t need to. I’m not a bank, and don’t have random insurances to back up my losses. Also, if I feel the non-pay-back would cause a rift in the friendship, that is another sign of not being able to afford the ‘gift’.

  2. Today, while I was at work, my sister stole my apple ipad and tested to see if it can survive a forty foot drop, just so she can be a
    youtube sensation. My iPad is now destroyed and she has 83 views.
    I know this is totally off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  3. I definitely don’t do this because people will try to take advantage. I have an aunt who always talks about how she has no money, and then she always tries to make other relatives pay for her and her kids for everything. It is ridiculous! I also do not want to do that around my friends because like you said – just be yourself. People are friends for who you are, not how much money they *think* you have. And if the latter is true, they aren’t true friends!

    1. Exactly! It makes friendship even more difficult when you have friends that say they have no money and everyone opts to pay. Like Mary another fan wrote it’s nice to splurge once in a while on a friend or relative but not all the time. We all have to look out for our own wallet. We all need to find ways to make more money if it’s not enough. If you have a true friend they will understand. Cheers Mate! Mr.CBB

  4. I have a cousin who could be called mr. Moneybags. He does make a fair chunk of money, but oh my god, does he ever spend. Everything has to be top notch, new, shiny, the works. I shudder to think what his credit card bills look like.

  5. As always an interesting read Mr. CBB. I don’t really have any friends like this, we all just tend to pay our own way when going out, or perhaps taking turns buying. I do however have a co-worker or two that are a bit like this, quite giving and generous but at what cost? Thanks for sharing.

  6. I take a very down on her luck friend grocery shopping every week. I don’t pay for her groceries, but I do all the research to help her get the most bang for her grocery buck by price matching and matching her coupons to sales, etc. I do, however treat her to lunch occasionally. But I am cheap, it’s a $1.50 hot dog & drink at Costco 😛 I don’t know if she would call me Mrs. Money Bags, but I don’t think I am. Partly I want lunch and partly I know that by Friday, the food is gone and she hasn’t eaten that day.

    1. Hi Debbie,
      I think if you want to help others that are less fortunate and in this case you know she has not eaten then so be it. We all have choices in life and situations and in the end it’s your money. If what you do in life makes you happy that’s all that matters. Cheers Mr.CBB

  7. I used to be this person! I’d always pull my wallet out and pay “because I can”. It wasn’t a “I can afford it” though. I’ve stopped doing that for the most part though. It was a hard habit to break but I didn’t want to be the person everyone knew would pay for everything especially when I knew I couldn’t afford it! It’s okay to treat once in a while but not every time!

    1. Good for you!! This is a hard thing for someone to do like Rambos mother. She has done it for so long it’s expected and no one brings a wallet to a restaurant. You have to look out for yourself and realize like Mary says a treat once in a while is ok but not all the time. Thanks for your comment. Mr.CBB

  8. I’ve got a friend who does this and it’s pretty much the most cringeworthy thing I’ve ever seen. She doesn’t work, she only sponges off people – but she always comes across as posh so most men fall at her feet and pretty much pay for everything.

    1. Yep, seen that and where I say some make it to the top but don’t belong there nor end up staying there. Looks only last for so long. When it comes to relationships or a career at the end of the day brains over beauty wins unless someone has so much money like Hugh Hefner he’ll take it either way. She is playing the part and eventually something will give. Nothing you can do to change it but watch it unfold or walk away from the friendship. Sad but true. Thanks for your comment mate! Mr.CBB

  9. I definitely do know someone who spends money like she has piles of it in a constant attempt to keep up with others. Im on the other end of the spectrum, i’ve gone so long without money I don’t know what to spend it on when I have a little extra 😛

    1. Hi Melissa,
      How does your friend respond when you tell her you can’t buy something, or go somewhere? Does she tell you to put it on credit and pay it later? Does she make your friendship difficult by being Mrs. Ms. Money Bags? Mr.CBB

  10. Don’t believe the stereotype of what rich people look like, or how they act. In the best selling book “The Millionaire Next Door” they did in-debth research on who the true millionaires were in America. The people in the fancy neighbourhoods all had negative net worths.

    When they tracked down the real millionaires using tax records and invited them in for an interview, they arrived in jeans and pick-up trucks. They were all frugal business owners.

    A must read book for anyone who wants to understand how people gain wealth and hang onto it!

    1. Oh, I agree Troy and The Millionaire Next Door is an excellent read. I believe I read it on your recommendation and it was well worth the read. To be honest I wasn’t shocked in the least because although we are far from being rich we aren’t knee deep in debt nor do we act like money is no option. It’s always important to focus on what one has themselves rather than what others have. Good points Troy and thanks or the reminding us of a great book to read. Cheers Mr.CBB
      P.S A few fans took your quiz and learned something new, so thanks for that!

    1. I agree and that’s why I thought it was important to put out there. I can relate to this on so many levels with people I know but don’t necessarily hang out with. Thanks for your comment Mike! Cheers Mr.CBB

  11. I don’t really have any friends like this but family, yes. It kills me to see her waste her money on buying her friends drinks when she could be putting money away to save for a house. She does have a lot of extra income but because she does waste it on drinks and eating out and now she has debt. It’s very frustrating and I have said something to her but I guess she’ll change when she “grows up” a little more. As for my friends, we are kind of on the same page and now when we get together we usually byob and do a potluck. As for the people who whip out their wallets when it comes time to pay for dinner, it does bother me because then yes, you do feel obligated to pay them back in some way (unless it’s my parents lol 😉

    1. It’s true we do feel obligated but you do have the odd few that have no second thoughts about it. I’ve learned you can’t change what people do sometimes and when they learn we just hope it’s not the hard way. I lke how you and your circle of friends work together to have fun. Thanks for sharing Jen! Mr.CBB

  12. The only time I whip out my wallet to pay for someone else is when I am out with an elderly relative that paying today’s prices would cause them a hardship. For example, I will treat my 82 year old aunt to lunch today but then she made a lovely lunch & supper yesterday with all kinds of fresh fruit and vegetables from her garden…nothing like fresh from the vine! She has been living successfully on her CPP and OAS but not by dining out. This will be a nice treat for her and it gives me great pleasure to be able to do it.

    1. There’s nothing wrong with that Mary and we do this for our family once in a while although they never expect it and that is the key word,”expect” like Rambos family. Cheers Mary and thanks for the comment. Mr.CBB

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