A year ago I would have never pictured myself as being a single mother. I’m sure no married mother actually pictures herself on her own raising her children. But life happens and there are just some things that we will never be able to change. Being single isn’t all that bad; there are actually many perks and being able to make your own personal financial decisions is one of them
The three best things about being single for me when it comes to money are…..
1.) You Can Make Your Own Financial Plans. My ex-husband and I disagreed a lot when it came to managing our money. While he did let me have most of the control over the cheque book, he would often make comments like “I will work until the day I die.” Of course me being a personal finance junkie would just feel my eyes roll into the back of my head every time I heard this. Well of course, without a plan and some savings you will work until the day you die. I can now organize my game plan without having to beg somebody to jump on board.
What I can Do Being Single….
- If I want to start a ROTH IRA, I can do it.
- If I want to buy individual stocks to invest my money, I can do it.
- If I want to live on beans and rice to save money on groceries (not that I would), there is nobody stopping me, I can do it.
2.) You are the Only Person in Your Way. Now when I set my goals I am the only person who can keep me from success. If I fail it is all on me. I have nobody to blame but myself. So as long as I can keep my ambition (which I will) I am heading straight for the finish line.
3.) You Have to Depend on Yourself. Now this third one isn’t quite as fun, but it’s a challenge and I am always up for a challenge. It takes a little bit of time to learn how to be independent again but once you get that down you feel unstoppable.
Believe In Yourself!
A new-found feeling of independence does wonders for your confidence. Knowing that you are smart enough and above all responsible enough to support yourself and kids (if you have any) and still have the drive to go after your dreams. That is an amazing feeling, especially if it’s one you thought that you would never have.
So those are my favourite three things about being single when it comes to money. Now, I am able to wake up each day, accomplish the most important things and go after my goals, whatever they might be. There’s an upside to every situation and being single isn’t so bad after all.
Guest Post: Alexa is a newly single mother to two beautiful little girls. She chronicles her journey as a single mother trying to make it big at Single Moms Income.
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Katrina B says
I am single mom of 2 myself and I agree with everything you said! It may be tiring at times, but I love being a single mom, my ex husband was horrible with money and I am happy to have that stress gone. Its my money (and the kids) and I can do what I please and its alot more than would have ever been done with my ex. Great post 🙂
Dr. Sheba says
I’m a single mother of 3 myself so I can totally relate to this post, I am the ONLY person in my way of obtaining anything I want. Love it.
Liquid says
I should learn from Alexa. I’m single too, but never married before. I think making myself accountable and not relying on others for my success was the most important thing I learned so far.
Alexa says
Thanks. I think it is so important to make yourself accountable. When you are single you have to learn how to rely on yourself.
Suba Iyer says
Great way to look at your finances. Looks like you have a plan. If both partners are not on the same page it can be very detrimental for financial progress. Good luck and a very happy new year!
theoutliermodel says
That’s awesome – I love your determination and positive attitude.
plantingourpennies says
Your kids are so lucky to have a mom like you. =)
A partner who stands in the way of your goals is not really a partner at all, so kudos for you for making your goals happen for yourself.
SingleMomsIncome.com says
Thank you so much! It’s hard to get somebody on bored who has no interest.
Holly@ClubThrifty says
It sounds like you are doing awesome with your two little girls~!
Living Debt Free Rocks! says
I was raised by a single mother and she taught me how to be a successful independent person regardless of whether I am in a relationship or not. What you are doing isn’t always easy so I commend your efforts.
mycanuckbuck says
Alexa – best of luck. Sounds like you’ve got a great attitude and a plan. Your girls are lucky to have you.
Jason @ WSL says
What a great mindset that you have about being a single mom. I was raised by a single mom and I know how difficult it is…but I believe you said in well in points #2 and #3. You can certainly do anything you set your mind to, and with a significant amount of hard work there isn’t much that can hold you back!
SingleMomsIncome.com says
Thanks Jason! I am definitely a beleiver that anyone can do anything they set their minds to – single or not.
Cassie says
Ugh, my boyfriend makes the work until I die comment a lot too. It’s complete and utter foolishness in his position. I’m glad to hear you’re tackling your future with your eyes open. You’ve made some great points here.
Pauline says
Great job seeing the positive in what is certainly not easy every day. I have a partner but apart from our house all our assets are separate and I enjoy being independent with my money. I actually think I will mostly keep separate finances if I ever get married, I have seen too many problems when it comes to divorce. I know you shouldn’t calculate and marry for love, but like you say life happens and even if you hope for the best you should prepare for the worse.
Budget & the Beach says
I think there are pros and cons to both. I think if you both are on the same financial page and have the same financial goals, it can be quite powerful, but if you’re not, or someone is dragging the relationship down with their spending, it can be quite difficult.
SingleMomsIncome.com says
Totally agreed! I love reading the blogs where husband and wife are both passionate about what they are doing. If two people are on the same page they would be pretty much unstoppable.
Anne @ Unique Gifter says
I like the rice and beans comment. My dad used to say that kids really got in the way of living on wieners and beans while starting a business, when we were at home.
John S @ Frugal Rules says
Good post. This is a great way to look at finances and financial decisions. I love #2! Too often many of us can lose sight of that and want to blame other things or people for where we’re at. That might be the case at times, but largely we’re the ones who hold ourselves back.