Do you know a credit card debt victim? : The Saturday Weekend Review #111
WILL ANYONE LISTEN?
We all know someone who constantly whines about money and plays the credit card debt victim role yet does nothing about it.
Having credit card debt and struggling to pay it off is a stressful place to be for anyone especially if you are already on a tight budget.
I certainly wouldn’t want to be that person but I would give up whatever it takes to get out of it, no excuses.
One of the main reasons people stay in debt is because they spend more time trying to justify why they can’t get out of debt rather than doing something about it.
I know one woman who started cleaning houses on the weekends when the kids were with their father just to get rid of credit card debt she says she created when they split up.
Some people might think that I don’t know what it’s like to have limited income or debt so how could I possibly share my thoughts on the topic, but think again.
I may not have had credit card debt before but I have had debts in the form of a mortgage, education, vehicle, etc. I even owed my parents $5000 for renovations at one point which I paid them back in full once I sold my house.
No, I wasn’t smart back then because I didn’t have a proper emergency savings fund but I’ve since learned my lesson. I was living pay to pay even though I had some money in the bank. So I know what it’s like to owe money and having to work to pay it off.
When you owe money you owe money- CBB
Credit card debt be gone
I was reading an article yesterday centering around what keeps people from getting out of credit card debt which essentially becomes what I call the debt-loop.
The debt-loop simply means you pay the minimum payment and it goes on forever. Once you have available credit you spend it again for whatever reason.
I’ve spoken to people who blame shift ALL debts and take no responsibility for it and if they do there is a reason for every expense. I can’t quite understand why but for some reason they choose not to acknowledge being part of the problem rather the victim.
Credit card companies love, love, love people who don’t know how to pay their credit card off in full every month. They make a fortune from all of you so they market in full-force. You were the one that signed up for the card after all or accepted the terms of agreement.
Remember one thing… they don’t care why you can’t pay it back and if they don’t care likely no one else will. I don’t know of anyone who makes it a priority to take on the stress of someone else’s debt.
You signed up for it
Even if you didn’t sign up somehow you are part of that card if your name is on it. If you think it’s been an error then filing a fraud report should be the first thing on your “to-do list”.
The lure of credit cards is not just because people want more credit it’s more about what rewards they can get or they make an on the spot decision because they feel forced into it.
Credit cards with rewards these days are a lucrative business so you can bet whoever is advertising it to you is making a nice chunk of change when you sign up. They don’t care about you, they just want your money. Repeat that sentence again, out loud to yourself.
We’ve all experienced a cashier or sales associate who tries to get you to sign up for a credit card to score you a percentage off your first order. Big Whoop…then what?
You have this pretty little credit card in your name tempting you to spend. If you didn’t have it at all there wouldn’t be that urge to use it especially if you run into financial problems.
The first place you should be going is to your emergency savings but thinking ahead is not in our nature. Remember I didn’t have that emergency savings at one point in my life either. It’s all a learning process but hopefully you won’t learn the hard way.
We want the ‘now’ and forget about the tomorrow. Tomorrow always seems to be the consequences in this case.
Not everyone thinks that way but for those of you that do debt can creep up on you and fast. Think real hard about what that credit card debt will do to you if you can’t pay it off.
I’ve pretty much covered topics on the blog such as debt denial, the real issue, paying the minimum payment and keeping up with the Joneses. What I haven’t really discussed is when people feel they are credit card debt victims as discussed in the above article.
You can imagine the excuses I’ve heard over the years about credit card debt but not many people own up to that debt. That means no matter how much you complain you still have to pay that debt off.
Even if you weren’t the cause of the debt or it was due to a break in a relationship and you are the owner than you need to figure it out and pay if off.
This is exactly what Beverly Harzog author of “The Debt Escape Plan: How to free yourself from credit card balances, Boost your credit score and live debt free” had to say about those who have credit card debt.
It’s still your debt and you have to pay it off
I’ve never read her book but she does bring up some great points about mistakes people make who have credit card debt.
No one is going to take your credit card debt and just pay it off for you.
The “Feel Better” Syndrome
Those people who have maxed out many credit cards might find it easier to forget about the debt because that’s what makes them feel better. When you don’t see it you don’t have to worry about it right? Wrong.
I know a guy who had maxed out all of his credit cards but it was easier to pretend that the debt didn’t exist until creditors came looking for him. It wasn’t until he was faced with bankruptcy that he came back down to reality but by then the process had already begun.
He even asked me to help him out but I didn’t have a spare $10k kicking around to lend someone who didn’t know how to pay for his debt.
If all you get is a piece of paper in the mail or an email saying you need to pay a bill sometimes it’s easier to push it aside as if it never existed. This attitude pushes you further into the debt hole.
This guy I know complains ALL THE TIME about his debt yet he smokes a pack of cigarettes a day, drinks plenty of Tim Horton’s coffee and doesn’t think twice about buying stuff he doesn’t need.
It makes him feel good to shop even if it’s at the Dollar Store or local thrift stores. He told me “At least I can afford to shop there“. Can he really?
There’s something about the Dollar Store that releases a “Guilt-Free shopping” feeling because you’re only paying a dollar. Add all those dollars up over time and you’ll see what’s contributing to your credit card debt.
The debt victim
Whenever he has no money options left to use he plays the “I’m broke” card and tells everyone why it’s not his fault something went to the credit bureau. He doesn’t see the pattern of debt that is following him because it’s everyone else’s fault but his.
His daughter just tells me to ignore him when he’s sulking about having no life and the world is not fair to him. She’s tried to help him out in the past and by that I mean she has given him money which as we all know doesn’t do anything for the real “issues”.
Then you start to hear about all the things he needs to buy and if he doesn’t what will happen. I hear from him this company did this or that so my bill was charged this amount and I can’t pay it. Would you believe me if I told you he owes 3 communication companies for cell phone bills?
Can we see how this is a problem?
My wife is tired of listening to it when he visits because it gets draining and is a real mood buster especially when it seems conversations are always about living a sad existence.
This is why we never talk about having money because I could only imagine what would happen. My wife will feel guilty if we don’t help him out but at the same time she knows that wouldn’t be solving the problem.
Paying off someone’s debt is only a band-aid.
When you cry victim to others it gets to the point where they don’t want to be around you any longer. They don’t know what to say to you, they feel guilty for spending money around you and they can’t be themselves because you’re miserable about your financial life.
You can’t tell someone how to live their life and if they want to play the credit card debt victim all you can do is be that friend that either listens, walks away or tells them exactly how you feel.
Some people have a skewed vision when it come to earning money, paying debt and saving for the future. If you continue to be in denial or play the victim role you will never push yourself beyond that debt.
Take your debt to the next level and if that means you budget your money and live frugal for 3 years to get out of debt, do it!
Yes I know your situation may be tricky but in the end.. it’s your situation, not mine.
Do you know someone who plays the credit card debt victim?
How do you handle the cries for help?
Our house and CBB
I have a week off next week but I do have to work at my second job which doesn’t mean I get the entire week to relax.
We will be heading to my wife’s parents house for a few days so they can see our son and we can visit. It’s been since Christmas since the wife and I have done anything so we could use a break from everyday life even if it is a short road-trip.
This week my wife had to pick up her night-guards because apparently she grinds her teeth at night and it’s not doing her any good. The guards cost $300 but our benefits company covered them thankfully.
Other than that we did some cleaning around the house and put away baby stuff that we no longer use as he’s grown out of it. I can’t believe how fast he’s growing.
Our living-room and dining-room actually look MUCH bigger now without the baby clutter. It’s amazing how too much stuff in a space really does the space no justice.
On the blog front…
The blog had some glitches last year which I worked on with my tech guy and hosting company to fix. Just yesterday I woke up to the blog being down again and this time it was not my fault.
I managed to renew my subscription with my hosting company but I was concerned as they were charging me far more than last year, almost double. WOW… I don’t make that much money on the blog so it’s a huge deal.
When I called they offered me a cheaper package and assured me it was fine. Well, it wasn’t and since CBB is established and with over 20,000 comments the blog takes up lots of resources in a shared hosting environment.
Needless to say after one hour we sorted it out and I had to upgrade to a pricier package however we’re hoping it won’t cause any more downtime for CBB and for all of you.
Just when you thought you got a deal, darn!
That’s my week… how was yours?
Weekly Blog Posts
Just in case you’ve missed any of my blog posts this week I will link to them all below.
If you have a question that you would like to ask Mr.CBB fill out the Contact Mr.CBB form on the Home Page and send in your questions.
Mr.CBB (that’s me) will look in his mailbag weekly and pick a question to answer on the blog.
This week on Canadian Budget Binder
- How one guys financial problems became his hobby
- How to grocery shop to create cheap recipes
- Single Millionaire paid the price to get where he is today
- Classic Madeira Cake
Popular Blog Posts This Week
I thought it would be fun to share the Top 5 pages and posts each week for those of you that are new reading Canadian Budget Binder.
These are in no particular order.
- The Scanning Code of Practice in Canada-Did you know?
- How to grocery shop for free
- How much should my grocery budget be?
- How to grocery shop to create cheap recipes
- Single Millionaire Paid the Price to get where he is today
Budget Brags
Submit your Deal or Brag:
Saving money while grocery shopping is essential in the CBB family and that’s why we share our grocery shops every week in The Grocery Game Challenge 2015.
What I love the most is when my fans share their amazing shops with me whether it be groceries or other deals they find at a garage sale, online or freebies!!!
If you have a brag that you want me to share email me at canadianbudgetbinder (@) [yahoo] [.ca] or fill out my contact form by Friday each week to have your brag considered for the Saturday post.
This week CBB fan Samantha D. made her way to Target Canada to see what deals she could snag with their liquidation pricing.
Target clearance prices are the best!!
- 3 packs of 2 little people $2.39 each
- 2 packs of Sofia the first nail polish kits $1.79 each
- Mr Potato Head $5.49
- Tonka car that makes noise $6.49
- 2 dolls that laugh and talk $2.24 each!!!(originally $25, who pays that??)
- Cur changing airplane $1.79
- Not pictured I purchased a box of Christmas cards for $0.70 cents
- 2 pairs of yoga pants $7.50 each
- Child’s batman sweater $10
The other half also got a new batman video game for $10 which is apparently a great deal. Our birthday and Christmas present closet is slowly getting restocked!
Did you score any great Target deals?
Making A Difference (MAD)
Note: If you are a personal finance blogger (anywhere around the world) and would like your blog to be MAD featured simply drop me an email and I’ll explain the process to you.
This is my way of giving back to the personal finance community through networking and sharing knowledge with my fans. Today I’d like to welcome Maria from The Money Principle!
What is The Money Principle about?
Good day, CBB readers.
I’m Maria Nedeva and the creator, owner and Mistress Supreme of The Money Principle: a blog where I support smart people to win the Game of Wealth by learning, changing their thinking and acting.
On The Money Principle you can find a wealth of information and entertainment so that learning is fun. I write about the four pillars of wealth: making money, controlling spending, paying off debt and investing.
I’m known for plain talking and provocative writing. Oh, and I never publish anything I have not tried, experienced and tested.
Who is Maria Nedeva?
I am Professor of Science Dynamics and Policy at a university ranking 32nd in the world. I have a PhD, teach philosophy of science and innovation, and talk to Prime Ministers about wise ways to spend their country’s money on science.
I also paid off an obscene amount of debt in three years. We went from $160,000 consumer debt in January 2010 to $160,000 in new investments in January 2015. Quite a swing, uh?
What can The Money Principle do for you?
I can’t make you wealthy and can’t make you rich – this is something you’ll have to do for yourself.
What The Money Principle, and the information on it, can do for you is help you take control of your finances. It will help you stop worrying about money, stop having sleepless nights because of debt and unpaid bills.
TMP can help you transform your finances and your relationship with money. And you’ll enjoy the journey.
Top recipe
If you don’t already know I have a second Facebook page called The Free Recipe Depot where I share recipes from other Food Bloggers from around the world.
With St. Patrick’s Day just around the corner I thought these lovely Peppermint Chocolate Ice-cream Cups were perfect to make-ahead for your party celebrations.
Thanks to Linda over at With A Blast for sharing this delicious and easy recipe at The Free Recipe Depot!
What festive drinks and treats do you make for St. Patrick’s Day?
Editor’s Pick
Every week I will pick a blog post of the week from around the web that I found interesting and want to share with you and an Editor’s top blog post pick.
Editor’s blog post pick of the week goes to Finance Blog Boomer and Echo who shared One Simple Test For Your Financial Advisor.
Once a year Mrs. CBB and I meet with our advisor to review our portfolio and set-up any changes that need to be made. Our advisor certainly doesn’t rush us out the door and he explains everything and any questions we might have.
When I read this post I thought I had better print this list of questions to ask our advisor so we’re better prepared for questions next visit. Not all advisors are shady but remember they are trying to make a living and sales is part of their job.
It’s hard when you really don’t know what you are getting yourself into and you rely on their expertise and trust they will manage your money correctly.
What questions do you ask your advisor when you meet?
Google search terms
Every week I get thousands of people visit Canadian Budget Binder because they did a search online and found my blog. Keep in mind any spelling errors below are because I share with you the exact way they typed their search engine query to land on my blog.
- What to look for in a sneaky husband?– Hey see people do search this kind of stuff
- Jacket potatoes decorated like a rabbit– I’m assuming for Easter although not the first thing I would think of at Easter.
- When do stores throw away good stuff in the dumpsters?– Tell me if that makes sense to you? If it’s good would they not sell it? Or is what’s not good to the store good to someone else?.. hmm.
- What do you think you should do if you’re paying too much property tax in Ontario?– Move.. good luck with that one.
- Mr.CBB annual income- Oh.. I didn’t know people were so interested in how much I earned.
Thanks for reading The Saturday Weekend Review and Welcome to 2015 on Canadian Budget Binder!!
-Mr.CBB
Related articles
- The Saturday Weekend Review #106: Should you be sent a bill if you are a party no-show?
- The Saturday Weekend Review #107: Would you buy a $140 Super Pizza for Super Bowl?
- The Saturday Weekend Review #108: Did you go overboard for your wedding day?
- The Saturday Weekend Review #109: How to get richer before you retire
- The Saturday Weekend Review #110: How much is child safety to you?
Yes, I know a “credit card victim” – it is my boss at my second job. It is not very nice I know, but everybody else just makes fun of him behind his back. He probably makes 3x as much as us workers do (minimum wage) plus managerial benefits but can barely survive. He likes to blame it mostly on his ex-wife for breaking up with him, dumping all the debt on him, all the support he has to pay her for his kids, plus how he has to drive 4 hours every 3 weekends to see them (he chose to move that far away) . He tells us how he can’t pay his bills and has to pay stuff by juggling credit around, but he doesn’t recognize his poor choices such as: smoking, drinking, large elaborate tattoos, keurig cup coffees, financing/leasing new cars frequently, shacking up with a girlfriend who refuses to work so supporting her and her two kids, eating out 2-3 a week minimum, fast food, etc, etc. I have one co-worker who is bolder than the rest of us, and when our boss starts complaining, the co-worker will say something like why don’t you cut out out going to Tim Hortons? while my boss is holding a TH coffee cup in his hand. My boss starts pouting and will say “I don’t go to TH hardly ever” or “It’s my only treat”. LOL, total denial.
We are on a limited budget these days and it sure isn’t easy. We do have a M/C but it gets used for online orders and then paid off ASAP.. I think the last couple of times it was used was for printer ink and for the virus program we use that has to be updated every year. We lucked out the last time as we caught the last day of a sale for the virus program as a 3-pack. Regular $59.95 for $39.95 I think it was. Between all of us we need the 3-pack so it worked for us. It was paid off as soon as it showed up on the bill online…
We have a small emergency fund for things like repairs to the truck and so on. Currently we do not have a balance on the M/C but we do have a mortgage and a line of credit linked to the mortgage. That is our debt right now. I manage to make a few bucks here and there doing alterations. That money gets saved for Christmas. Last Christmas after I cashed in points from here and there, made things, and so on I think it cost us around $100.00 out of pocket, maybe a little more fr the gifts. I’m working on ways to save on the groceries for Dec. as that tends to be high. I can do this………
That recipe looks so good!!! Got it saved on the laptop. As for the google terms…I make a cake every year at Easter that looks like a bunny rabbit. Carrot cake and it’s what my daughter wants for her birthday which is around Easter.
Enjoy the break in things next week. Yes, it is amazing how fast they grow isn’t it!!! Have a good weekend to you and the family….
I don’t believe that I’ve played the “credit card victim” but during the past many years, I have tried to kill the credit card debt but not very hard. I’ve always used that scenario that because I was (and still) a single parent, that my kid needed things, such as clothes and such. This gave me the excuse to buy items on my credit card. Now my daughter never had the best of everything or even all the gadgets that are on the market. In the same breath, I can’t blame everything on her either because I also bought things for myself that I might not necessarily needed.
The only resolution that I’ve made myself this year is to really put an effort into killing the debt once and for all. Any new charges won’t be made unless I can take money from my chequing account and set it aside to be used to pay that bill in full. I realize that that 2 months have only gone by so far this year but so far I’ve kept my resolution to myself and my daughter and I have regular conversations about what my finances since I’ll supporting her, she needs to understand that I can do so much in extras.
I’m starting to realize that it’s just a mind and lifestyle change to make these changes.
Thank you so much for choosing my Peppermint Chocolate Ice Cream Cups as your Top Recipe this week !