The Saturday Weekly Review

Would you take half your spouses bonus as a stay at home parent? : The Saturday Weekend Review #123

The Saturday Weekend Review logo- work bonus parentingYOU WORK HARD FOR YOUR MONEY

 

Here’s a mock scenario. You’ve worked at your career for the past 8 years and every year you get a yearly work bonus of nearly $5000.

When you go to work you work full-time and sometimes you work over-time which means you earn more money after the government takes their cut.

While you’re off at work your wife stays home with your new baby for the next 12 months on maternity leave then you both decide she will stay home to care for the baby full-time and give up her career.

She misses working because she enjoys challenging herself but loves to be a mother. Without a career and earning now she can’t go out and spend money on herself like she used to. No more purses, shoes, new wardrobes, manicure, new hairstyles etc.

Now your wife wants half of your yearly bonus to spend on whatever she likes because she works just as hard as you do at home.

Does this sound like your family?

 

Wife Bonus

 

I was reading this article today about this couple who splits the husbands yearly work bonus. They call it a “Wife Bonus” where the husband will take half of his work bonus and hand it over to his wife who is a stay at home mom.

Polly Phillips feels she needs a financial incentive to care for their child. This financial incentive makes her a better parent.

I still need a financial incentive to care for her. And that I believe that it actually makes me a better parent.

It sounds like without her money incentive she may not be as motivated to be a mother even though she loves her daughter. If that’s what works for her then so be it.

I get an allowance as a father but that’s just part our budget. My wife who is a stay at home mom just uses money from our joint account when she needs it.

Some may find that odd but we don’t because the money has to come from somewhere and we’d rather control our expenses. When I bring home a work bonus the money goes into our budget as earnings and we calculate it as part of our net worth.

My wife has never had to ask for money because if she needs it, then she uses it because there are categories in our budget that will hold certain expenses. The good thing is that she doesn’t go overboard spending money and knows how much we can afford.

My interpretation of this story is that Polly feels she is entitled to half of his work bonus since she works equally as hard at home. She doesn’t however like using money from the joint bank account on herself even though her husband says that the money he earns is her money as well.

After having our first baby I don’t disagree being a parent is HARD WORK and when I come home my wife looks like she’s going to fall over.

I remember when our son was born my wife was hardly ever sleeping. I would have to force her to go to bed for an hour or two just to get some rest.

When I’m home I give my wife a break as much as possible but there are times I just want to tear my hair out too. It’s a non-stop job, around the clock being a parent and there’s no sugar-coating the difficulty.

Who doesn’t enjoy receiving praise or a prize for a job well done?

Her husband thought it was a great idea because now his wife can go out and buy all the purses her heart desires. Some of those purses cost a fortune so buyer beware unless you don’t mind carrying your bonus on your shoulder.

I earned a good salary and enjoyed the freedom that entailed, from enjoying expensive holidays to hitting the shops.

 

Budgeting works

 

Would this income sharing type bonus work for us? No we don’t really need this because we are happy with our budget and if we need something we buy it.

In the event we needed more we spend the money we have and make up for it the next month. An example of that might be renovations. This doesn’t happen too often as we try to keep the budget even every month but it’s not the end of the world for us.

If you are smart with designing your budget you will be able to budget an allowance for both partners so that there is no need to ask for money or feel ashamed to ask and spend money as you see fit. You could take that end of year bonus and invest it back into your savings or retirement funds.

There is no wrong or right answer here.

If Polly and her husband are comfortable with splitting his bonus and it makes them happy then so be it.

Since more and more women are staying home from their careers sharing a work bonus with a spouse is a great way to stay on the same page with the relationship and finances as long as it works for the couple.

By sharing the spoils of his success with me equally, my husband is showing me how much he values my role as a mother and appreciates the sacrifice that the spouse who gets left at home holding the baby is making.

Not everyone will view their way of using his bonus as typical because I don’t think it is. Some may not agree with their mindset for the bonus split but to them it makes sense. It may make sense to other couples who want to adopt this method.

I feel the same about budgeting. It may be odd for someone to save all their receipts and account for the money they spend BUT it works for others.

I certainly don’t think I’m special or worth more than any other wife out there – I actually believe that anyone who puts their partner’s needs before their own deserves support and recognition for the role that they are playing.

Clearly, this is what keeps their relationship happy and it works so why fix what’s not broken just because other people don’t agree with it?

 

Conclusion

 

I love you mom and dad or hugs and kisses is payment enough for the both of us.

Should you get paid for parenting?

We do every time our son smiles at us.

If you want to come up with weird and wonderful ways to finance your relationship or parenting methods then go for it. Although not everyone will agree all that matters is what works for you.

My wife or I could care less about splitting any bonuses I get. What we care about is that our budget balances and that we are saving money for our retirement, family trips and other areas that require saving so we can live a better life together as a family.

  • Would you want your husband to split his bonus with you if you are a stay at home mom?
  • What would you do with your cut of the bonus?
  • Should you both just invest the money and give each other a monthly allowance?

I want to hear your thoughts so please leave a comment below.

 

CBB Week At A Glance

 

This week has been non-stop travelling since my parents arrived last week. We spent a few days at the in-laws house then we came back to the GTA.

The next day we left bright and early to Tobermory and spent the day looking around and going to Flowerpot Island. We ate awesome food at a local pub where the pub burger was to die for.

I wish I could remember the name of the place but it all happened so fast. We ended up getting there late and after the tour there wasn’t much in the way of restaurants open to eat at so the local pub was where we ended up.

The funniest part of the entire trip was when we were all craving a snack so bad that we finally found a convenience story BUT it said that we had to call a number first to get served. Right…ok so I made the phone call.

The guy opened the door and in we all went and bought some chips and chocolate bars for my  parents and away we went.

Since it was all last-minute we didn’t give ourselves time to plan much so we had to eat on the road. Next time we WILL be shopping before we go and stocking up on drinks and snacks like we normally do.

Next week we are off again for another full week then I MUST finish the gardening and get to the renovations. So much to do and so little time. It’s going to be a nutty summer, I can feel it already.

This week on the blog the numbers have held steady which is great especially since I’ve got such an amazing fan base. The numbers don’t lie so a big thanks to all of you who continually support CBB.

How was your week?

 

Published This Week

 

Just in case you’ve missed any of my blog posts this week I will share them all below.

If you have a question that you would like to ask Mr.CBB fill out the Contact Mr.CBB form on the Home Page and send in your questions.

If you want to share a story via a Fan Question only please ensure that there is minimum 500-1000 words and details… we love details!

Right now CBB is posting Tuesday (Grocery Game Challenge) , Thursday (Personal Finance Post), Saturday (Personal Finance and Weekly Wrap-Up and a recipe on Sunday!

 

Budget Brags

 

Submit your Deal or Brag:

Saving money while grocery shopping is essential in the CBB family and that’s why we share our grocery shops every week in The Grocery Game Challenge 2015.

What I love the most is when my fans share their amazing shops with me whether it be groceries or other deals they find at a garage sale, online or freebies!!!

If you have a brag that you want me to share email me at canadianbudgetbinder (@) [yahoo] [.ca] or fill out my contact form by Friday each week to have your brag considered for the Saturday post.

This week CBB fan Jen shares some goodies she found while at garage sales this past weekend.

 

garage sale Jen May 30 jen garage sale May 30

  • 2 pads construction paper, Playtex bottle, bike seat cover, garlic saver, bag clip, spatula $5
  • Puddle jumper and bowl $.50
  • Play-doh and shirt $1
  • CD player $5 (they were asking $20)
  • Cooler bag $.50
  • Magazine holder $2 (they were asking $3)
  • Car – free
  • Car seat with seat protector (underneath) $1 (doesn’t expire until Dec 2018….great for a spare seat).
Total $15.00

 

Making A Difference (MAD)

 

Note: If you are a personal finance blogger (anywhere around the world) and would like your blog to be MAD featured simply drop me an email and I’ll explain the process to you.

This is my way of giving back to the personal finance community through networking and sharing knowledge with my fans.

Today I’d like to welcome Neil and Kalie from Pretend to Be Poor!

Hi Mr.CBB and Fans,

We are Neil and Kalie from Pretend to Be Poor. Neil is an engineer who loves Excel and fixing broken things. Kalie is a thrifty stay-at-home mom and the main voice of the blog.

Our title comes from a proverb that says, “There is one who pretends to be rich, but has nothing; another pretends to be poor, but has great wealth.”

Many people pretend to be rich by living in debt, but research and experience show materialism doesn’t lead to fulfillment.

Instead of inflating our lifestyle, we want to inflate our usefulness by learning new skills through DIY, and helping others through friendship, volunteering, and charitable giving.

The alternative we write about is financial flexibility, or an ability to make life choices without being completely limited by expenses (and income).

“Pretending to be poor” is relative and a bit tongue-in-cheek. It’s really about simple, sensible solutions that anyone can live with.

Our goal is to help readers find the motivation and practical tips for living on less so they can pursue opportunities and causes they care about.

Whether that’s early retirement or a different purpose is for each reader to decide. We also write about the hidden benefits of frugality: the fun, resourcefulness, creativity, handiness, and adventure.

 

Top Recipe

 

ooey-gooey-butter-cake-1

Food  and grocery shopping is a BIG part of CBB because food is a large part of the budget which people struggle the most with.

If you are someone who would rather buy convenience meals or products consider cooking homemade meals or baking from scratch.

Not only will you save money but you will be proud of what you accomplished and you’ll see that from the smiles on those you feed.

If you don’t already know I have a second Facebook page called The Free Recipe Depot where I share recipes from other Food Bloggers from around the world.

I created this second Facebook page because I love food so much and I wanted to showcase only food 24/7 and this is where I do it.

I also share recipes on CBB once a week on Sundays either made by me or my in-house home blog cook Nicola Don!

This week our Top Recipe Pick goes to Amanda Rettke at I Am Baker for her Butter Cake. Just one look at it and I knew this was going to be a popular recipe!

 

Editor’s Pick

 

Every week I will pick a blog post of the week from around the web that I found interesting and want to share with you and an Editor’s top blog post pick.

Editor’s blog post pick this week goes to Student Debt Survivor for their post titled, “My parents want to help with our wedding. Should I let them?

Personally I like to pay for everything we do by ourselves without any type of loans or monetary gifts however if it were our wedding and my parents wanted to pay for a portion of the wedding I wouldn’t say no.

Imagine your parents saving up money over the years. Sometimes the money you get to play with is your own money that your parents are saving for your special day. You might even offend them if you say no.

You know your parents better so you decide and check out what Student Debt Survivor has to say!

 

Google Search Terms

 

Every week I get thousands of people visit Canadian Budget Binder because they did a search online and found my blog. Keep in mind any spelling errors below are because I share with you the exact way they typed their search engine query to land on my blog.

  • My house is listed for much lower than others- Well, you either list it for what it’s worth of list is for more so you get the best of both worlds when it comes to buying and selling a home.
  • Wife constantly spending money- Well, then take it away from her until you both discuss what you need to in terms of family finances.
  • Can a person resell samples?– Sure you can unless it says they can’t be resold for profit. Why would you anyways since you got them free? Just give them away.
  • Freelancing while on maternity leave- This is a great idea for any stay at home parents who want to start earning extra income. It takes time to build a blog or website up but once you start posting and writing for others you can really start to earn some extra money.
  • Is $30,000 enough for renovations?– How on earth would anyone be able to respond to that even online? It depends on many factors such as size of basement, Space, what you want to buy etc. You could spend over $50,000 just to renovate one floor of your home.

Thanks for dropping by and reading!

Don’t forget to subscribe to my daily blog post by entering your email address on the home page and verifying the subscription email once it is sent to you.

-Mr.CBB

Related articles

Similar Posts

11 Comments

  1. This is very timely for me because I have just finished my mat leave and have decided to stay home with our daughter (which my husband fully supports). I am used to earning a pretty good bonus and so is my husband. We usually put our bonuses directly towards our retirement savings, however if we were to take some out for fun, I think we would spend it on something we would all benefit from (maybe a vacation?). However, if my husband were to take money to buy something specifically for himself, I would likely expect to do the same 😉

    1. How long are you planning to stay off work? Will your employer support your leave? What changes will you be making to your budget now that you will be staying home?

  2. We don’t have a family yet but when we do, it will be based on a monthly budget – the same as what we currently do now. Ive never thought of splitting a lump sum amount or getting paid to be a stay at home parent. I think any lump sum amounts like bonuses should be discussed and then both spouses should agree to how they should be treated – whether it’s all put towards the mortgage, debt pay down etc

  3. The first while we were married and for a couple of years after our oldest boy was born I worked part time. About a year after our daughter was born I left the job to stay home. So it’s been 30 years since I was out in the work force other than the odd little bit here and there. A friend had a fabric store back when the younger boy was a baby and I helped her out a few times, it was a fabric store and I was happy to take the payment in fabric!!
    When the kids were smaller I made the majority of their clothes and such. I didn’t get an allowance as such but if I was planning a trip to the fabric store hubby and I discussed it ahead so he had a rough idea of what I was looking to get. Or the old Woolco $1.44 Days sale, I would hit that too. They sold fabric and I would get some a few times a year. I usually had three big load ups there. Spring/summer clothes, Fall/winter/back to school clothes and then there was the Christmas sewing. Again we discussed this ahead, what I planned to get and how much fabric I needed. We discussed what I was buying for birthdays and for the family t Christmas before I went out. I usually have a stash of funds available if I saw a really good deal for something that I didn’t what to answer for on the credit card or chequing account. Especially if it was for him!!
    So I have never really needed a set amount of part of any bonus hubby got from the plant. A couple of times he got gift cards and those he just handed over to use for groceries. I’ve never been a big spender on myself, I have what I need and that is all that really counts.
    Hubby and the younger boy camped up at Tobermory years ago and took the glass bottom boat to the Flowerpot Island and both had a great time!! I don’t care for camping so I stayed home to enjoy the peace and quiet! We used to drive up there the odd time to take the ferry over to Manitoulin Island years ago as hubby’s parents had a cottage on the island. By the time we left here, drove up, waited on and took the ferry over then drove to the cottage it took care of that day so we didn’t go often.
    Jen got some nice deals as always!!
    Have a good weekend and enjoy the time with your parents!!!

    1. Hi Christine,
      We are the same as you. We still aren’t sure why it was so tough to spend from the joint account if they were budgeting and talking about the expenses but I guess she doesn’t want to answer to anyone and have money to spend as she pleases. My wife and I talk about expenses then get what we need. We did the Ferry too but it was a waste as far as I’m concerned. I was expecting more on Manitoulin but the ferry was a nice ride I guess. Flowerpot Island boat cruise was nice too. We won’t be back but at least we can say we did it.

      1. Hubby’s parents place was at Spring Bay on the island. His sister’s sold it after his mom died in 2000. It was just too much hassle to go up there and look after the place. Mom and Dad went up for most of the summer and stayed there but the SIL’s couldn’t do that.

  4. Tobermory is one of our favourite places to vacation. We have rented a few cottages there. I used to be a Registered Nurse but now I stay home with my kids. My husband is an engineer. We handle the money together and we use a budget. The money is ours. If we want something, we buy it but neither of us are shoppers. We invest as much as we can in RRSPs, TFSAs, my daughter’s RESP and my son’s RDSP. We also have non registered investments. We have saved diligently and we hope to have him take an early retirement in 4years when he has his 30 years in. I don’t feel that I need to be paid to be at home. To each their own. We feel very fortunate to have the life we have.

    1. We didn’t find much to do in Tobermory apart from going to Flowerpot island on the boat which was nice. We rented a hotel room for $49 which was nice and clean. Most of the shops were closed very early so our options for dinner were left to the town pub. I wasn’t sure if there was something I was missing about the place although I didn’t plan it as well as I should as it was all last minute. There is so much to save for. This is what I say when people ask why we have $100,000 in savings. We have so much catching up to do with our investments and renovations on the house that the money is gone pretty quick. Thanks for sharing Sue!

  5. When I used to stay home with the kids and my husband got a bonus we would use it for debt reduction. That way it benefited both of us. It worked out well for us we paid our house off before we turned 40. Staying home and not working was a reward in itself and has paid off. My son just bought his first house at 23yrs. My Daughter is in the trades and on her own at 18 This is the biggest reward ever to see my children be successful at a young age. I got to do the things I enjoy like playing piano, cooking, sewing and gardening. All things that would be harder to include in my life if I worked outside the home and had children. No financial reward can substitute the rewards I received!
    I am not disagreeing with what this couple is doing. If it works for them then go for it. To each their own! We just did not have it in our budget at the time.
    Now when we get a bonus with both of us working we put half in savings for travel and the other half we make a purchase to benefit both.

    1. Hi Pat,
      That’s a great accomplishment,good for the both of you. That’s what I said to my wife about my bonus. We would put it towards debts or savings and not so much as spending it on “stuff”. We aren’t huge spenders and my wife doesn’t have a shoe and purse collection either. I agree to each their own. If it works… let it work.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.