Single Man Looking For Frugal Sexy Women

Estimated reading time: 10 minutes

If you’re a single man looking to date frugal sexy women but struggling to find your match, there is hope.

frugal sexy women

Chance Meetings Begin With Hello

Love is less about finding sexy individuals than finding the perfect connection.

For some people, love is more than what you feel in the heart; it’s also about how well you deal with money.

Men today, just like women, are looking for someone who will complement their passion for frugal living.

Let’s not forget that a healthy relationship takes more than just money.

That means money is only one part of the relationship.

Are Frugal Men Sexy?

In 2012, I wrote a post asking whether frugal men were sexy, which quickly became popular.

Since then, I’ve noticed quite a few visits to the blog where men were seeking advice about women.

Yes, some men want to date women who give some thought to their financial future.

It’s funny how easy it is to generalize one gender over the other, but there are no comparisons, as we are both equal.

The problem is that most people don’t know where to start when looking for love as they age.

The older we get, the harder dating seems, especially if career and family come first.

In our younger years, we would go to the clubs dancing every weekend, enjoying the nightlife, but that quietly dwindled.

Those long nights of drunken fun for many are toned down to coffee shops, local pubs, museums, art exhibits, traveling, and so on as the years pass by.

Some people say we look for love in all the wrong places, and perhaps that’s true.

Protecting the heart is as precious as protecting what you’ve got in your bank account.

Not only do the men want to protect their gold, but the women are also on top of the money game.

It’s not uncommon to see women working in traditional roles that men typically flock to, such as firefighters, police officers, or trades jobs.

Women can and want to earn their own money, and rightfully so, because an independent woman relies on herself first.

How many women have told you you will never rely on a man for money?

I don’t think anything is wrong with that, and I find that very appealing about a woman.

She doesn’t have to earn big bucks, but she has to have the drive to do something that she enjoys with her life.

When I moved to Canada, I had no job and no Canadian education, yet my wife and I were madly in love.

She knew that I would find my way, and I did.

At first, it was hard for a young guy like myself in a strange country, but I wanted to succeed.

I was very happy to learn that Mrs. CBB was passionate about saving money and understanding retirement and investing.

I knew that I didn’t have to worry about her spending habits.

She felt the same about me when she learned I loved personal finance.

Importance of The Word “Sexy” When Dating

Why is being sexy so important when dating?

Well, the ‘sexy’ appeal is just as important as what is deep inside the heart.

I’m sure sex appeal is a driving force that brings two people together. It may be the eyes, hair, or smile, but something attracts you to sexy.

I had a guy email me about dating last week, which is great because it’s not often men write in with relationship questions.

There seems to be a trend of men wanting to know how to find frugal women who care about personal finance as much as they do.

So, let’s talk about this topic.

How To Find True Love

Dear Mr.CBB,

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I work out at the gym daily and take care of myself, and I’ve been told I’m a handsome guy who loves life.

I’ve had enough of the dating scene, and I’m tired of getting used and abused financially by these women I seem to fall for.

I’m also tired of getting heartbroken.

Everything seems to be going well after we meet and go on a date, but once we pass the third month or so, BAM, she hits me with it.

The girl seems to get comfortable with my wallet and is always asking me to buy this or that, and they don’t stop with those puppy eyes either.

I talk finance with the ladies I date, but sometimes I wonder if they nod to make me happy or pretend to care about it.

What happened to date etiquette, and why am I always paying for everything?

Career Exposure

I’m a new veterinarian, and finding a woman who wants me for me and not my bank account seems harder.

When I say I’m a doctor, I worry about whether they like me or my career.

Yes, I earn a great living, and I know it’s easy to blow it all and go broke.

Some guy friends tell me to shrug it off and that I have nothing to worry about financially, but that’s not the case here.

My concern is the future; how she spends money is as important to me as my spending habits should be to her.

I want to know that I have found a woman equally eager to save money for retirement and our children and stay debt-free.

A Good Career Doesn’t Mean You’re Rich

I’ve seen too many things happen as a vet where families come in, and they can’t afford to care for their pet, and they have good jobs.

Just because people make good money doesn’t mean they don’t have to worry about how far they can stretch it.

A budget is very important to me, and I still need to watch what I buy.

I was frugal in university, and although I like the finer things in life, I know how to spend money without going broke.

Type Of Women I Meet

The women I meet want to shop at all the high-end stores buying $500 purses and shoes.

Sometimes I wonder if they are trying to impress me or think I only date women with the hottest look.

I’m not that guy.

I like a beautiful woman, but that doesn’t mean she must go broke trying to be sexy.

There is an allure about naturally sexy women, and I appreciate that.

This woman I recently dated told me she was in debt of $45,000 because of school loans and couldn’t stop buying all the new trendy fashion items.

She studied fashion, and it was hard not to have what was hot on the market because she was in the industry.

I had asked her what she thought about saving money, frugal living, and living a debt-free life.

She laughed and said, “Not this Girl.”

“I make good money, so I’ll pay it off; it’s no big deal,” as she took another sip of her drink and smiled.

She said, “You want me to look beautiful for you, don’t you?”


I nearly spit my drink out but managed to swish it down with visions of seeing $0 in our marital bank account if we got married flash before my eyes.

I was looking for the exit, but the gentleman in me said that he would enjoy the date and move on.

Looking For Sexy Women

Why can’t I find any intelligent, sexy women who are not afraid to enjoy the simplicity of life?

Let’s face it, I’m not a millionaire, and it may be some time before I am, but that still doesn’t change how I feel about my potential partner.

I would love to find an independent woman who knows how to balance a budget, pay her credit cards in full, and understands how important finance and love are within a relationship.

I’m not trying to put money first here, either.

I can’t get my head around it and wonder if I will ever fall in love.

I want a woman who will love me back without thinking about her next shopping purchase and booking all her beauty appointments.

How can I find a woman who complements my heart and passion for finance?

Any help or advice is appreciated, and thanks for having an outlet to chat about relationships on a personal finance blog.

-Dr. D

Sexy Women Are All Around Us

Hey Doc,

I’m amazed how many people don’t want to get involved with people who have lots of debt or don’t know how to control their spending habits.

On the other hand, I’m not shocked as it’s 2015, and life is expensive. Unfortunately, with that comes the financial responsibility of looking after oneself.

On the other hand, debt is no big deal for some people because if they love someone, they will work on that debt together.

I can understand that, but my question would be, is the reason for the debt under control?

If working out is part of the plan to find sexy women to date, it will only get you so far in the dating world.

Also, if you have a juicy fat bank account or a great career, you won’t have issues finding someone to date you.

Yes, people of all genders can be very greedy when finding a potential partner with the money to keep them happy.

Stay healthy because you want to look and feel good about yourself.

Love Or A Good Time

My wife has women friends who have been married and divorced and don’t care about love.

All they want is a good time, and they are going along for the ride as long as he has the cash.

I’m not saying anything that the world already doesn’t know here.

Men are just as sly when they want something and don’t want to work to get it.

I know a guy who liked to date older women because he says they have all the cash.

He looks for sexy women complimenting him and his posh, wannabe lifestyle.

He would find them at the gym, where he worked out and chatted them up.

If they were widowed, even better because life insurance policies and dollars swirled in his head.

Some older women love younger, tanned men with muscles, like my friend, who has never had an issue finding a woman.

He’s now married to an older woman who cares financially for him.

In his eyes, he’s scored a jackpot.

We are all betting on how long this relationship will last.

I can see how revealing that you are a doctor may motivate the wrong type of sexy woman you are looking to date.

Some women only date men with high-profile jobs, and you are one of those men.

Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

If you are ready to crush the dating scene, you must know where to find your true love.

In all honesty, I don’t believe we should be hunting for true love.

I believe we will fall in love with the right person at the right time and place.

Call it fate if you will, but it always seemed easier for me to leave love to the gods.

I believe we put too much emphasis on ‘finding’ rather than just living and being ourselves.

Just be yourself and stop living day-to-day peddling to find love to fill your heart.

If you continue to do so, you will attract all the wrong sexy women you don’t want.

When you least expect it, the right woman with all the qualities you yearn for will come along.

Online Dating

You could also try online dating sites if you are into that.

I always see advertising for “eHarmony Canada” on television among the hundreds of websites online.

This may help to weed out the women you don’t want to date and showcase those sexy women you are looking for.

There have been many successful marriages that have come from online dating sites.

However, you must remember that if you try too hard, you will never find who should truly stand next to you forever.

Don’t settle, and if it feels right, go with it.

If finance is important, discuss it within the first couple of dates.

Don’t waste time dating someone if you already know they aren’t right for you.

I always had luck meeting women at the grocery store, sightseeing, traveling, or other community events.

Yes, long-distance relationships work; I’m living proof of that.

We’ve been married for almost 9 years now and love each other more and more every day. It’s all about communication and working together towards our goals.

There are no right or wrong answers here because you are the only one who can find what you are looking for.

Don’t give up on true love because it will find you; when it does, you’ll know it.

She will take your breath away.


Discussion What other tips do you have for Mr. Doc?

Please leave your comments below.

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  1. Its all about the information you divulge and your offer to pay for things. If you go out for a walk there is no money involved. Go to a park – same thing. Go to the beach, hiking, etc. Make sure these are your first dates. NEVER dispense information that can be used against you. Think like a lawyer in the beginning of a relationship. Tell them the truth – you care for animals/pets but explain that you don’t like talking about work when you’re not working. Veer away from this subject quickly. Focus on financial futures of people – watch how she analyzes people’s spending. Most people don’t grasp that if they are saving 5% and clear $2000 a month, they are working the entire month to pay for a nice dinner at a nice restaurant. Who in their right mind would do that? Nobody with any financial common sense. Discuss enjoying your investments and see if she has ever done that.. Almost nobody does. You buy a wreck of a house, use your creativity and other skills to transform this to a very desirable living space, sell at a profit tax free as its your principle residence, meanwhile your accommodation is free on top of everything. There are many things you can flip and enjoy before they sell. Most people never consider that, instead being drawn in a trance to their local retail ripoff store and their wallet is vacuumed with stuff that devalues tremendously as soon as they walk out the door. Explain that maybe other people need some of your money much more than you do….like people dying in strife ridden areas of the world. See if she thinks that her life is more valuable than those of other people. Does she have compassion towards people she doesn’t know? If she doesn’t, watch out. Money spending is also indicative of basic impulse control. Out of control spending is just the tip of the iceberg. So much of the stuff we buy we rarely use for very long anyway. Our aim should be to positively influence the lives of those around us. Ironically, that tends to put the giver in a rather good mood. That may be the best way we have of uplifting our own emotions.

  2. I call personal finance one of the “big 3”.
    Money. Sex. Faith. They are all behaviour based.

    My ex was a man-child who overspent on bass boats, electronics and hunting crap.
    He was also an addict but I left him because of the money.
    The thought of working with a disability until I was 80 horrified me.
    After 19 years of hell, I left and have never been happier.

    I made a VERY good living as a petroleum geologist and married another geologist years later.

    His ex was a compulsive overspender too. That drove him away as well.

    Today, we have a PARTNERs instead of children for spouses.

    A leading indicator for immature girl-children are long nails. Avoid these vapid non-women like the plague.

    Designer bags and shoes can be faked, so that’s harder to tell.

    I’ve never met a woman with long nails who wasn’t self-absorbed.

  3. Before my husband met me, he intentionally wanted to meet many girls to get to know them better one by one, like what he said, so that he could find the perfect ideal match for him. Luckily, he found me and I feel glad that I met his high expectations. Now, I am helping him to be more frugal and with his financial decisions aside from the typical ones.

  4. I am so far away from this scene…….married 39 yrs now. Boy things have changed!
    My daughter is the one around here that is looking. She also has our 6 yr old grandson to raise on her own without help from his father. She works as an ECE in a daycare, currently as program supervisor but there were days when she could floor a guy if they asked if/how many kids she had as she would say how many kids were in her room at the daycare where she worked!! Guess the looks she got when she said 12-15 kids was priceless…….lol… She has the added issue with our grandson of when/if to introduce him to somebody. I hope she finds someone to share her life and her son with as I hope you find someone as well….. Good luck

  5. Oh my goodness, if you are dating women who expect you to pay for everything you are living on the wrong planet. Sorry to be so blunt but it isn’t (or shouldn’t be) like that now. Don’t get me wrong, I was married for 26 years, 2 kids later and one ex husband but I never believed the man should pay for everything. Since my ex left (thank God) I have been asked out on many a date and I feel if the guy invited me he should pay. BUUUUT we could easily go for pizza – no great shakes. And then I would be more than happy to invite him out the next time. What I guess I mean is, for God’s sake don’t try to split the bill. I pay, you pay. But why on earth would you be thinking you had to pay for some dumb broad’s spending habits. We are in 2015. Tell em to bugger off. You are a date not a milk cow. Sorry if I am being crude but I cannot for the life of me imagine why anyone would imagine that you should be funding their lifestyle. I was 51 when my husband left me (again thank God) and was asked out by a really great Spanish lawyer. He was loaded. He actually offered to pay off my mortgage and I said no. He was stunned and asked why. So I told him you just can’t put a price on freedom. And you know what, we have remained friends to this day. Respect yourself, tell these freeloaders to get lost. By all means treat your dates decently but you are not a cash machine and should not allow yourself to be treated as one. You sound like a nice guy so believe in yourself. Being a nice guy/gentleman does not mean being taken advantage of and there are many, many other decent women out there. Don’t be taken in by the bimbos – they don’t get better with age. But good luck. Anna

    1. And I realize that my comment came over as a total rant so I wanted to apologize. Sorry, that kind of stuff makes me so mad. You sound like a nice guy so please don’t feel that you have to fund anyone’s lifestyle (that’s what it becomes later). Dinner and a drink maybe, but that’s it. There are plenty of decent young women around so good luck. And sorry again about the rant (insert sheepish smiley face here). Anna

  6. I have 2 cars so I take my old clunker when I go out on dates. Sometimes it’s nice to see how the other person will react when they don’t think you have lots of money or a career where money is of no concern. On the other hand I don’t like to lie so I struggle with this sometimes. I want to make sure I know about their financial habits before I even begin the dating path. At least you were lucky to back out on time. Thanks for the help.

  7. As a female, I can also relate to Dr. D’s dilemma. In fact, I once broke off an engagement because I sensed my fiance’s spending habits were a red flag of trouble to come. I’ve also dated men who I sensed were way too comfortable asking me to pay for things on our dates. I’m ok with dating someone who makes much less than me as long as they don’t take advantage.
    My advice to Dr. D,
    downplay your profession. I remember going on dates and purposely parking my luxury vehicle far away so that my date would not see that I own an expensive vehicle. I would never suggest lying although.
    Also, I don’t believe in the idea that a partner will magically appear one day. You need to put yourself out there and actively try to meet new people. I would go places where “superficial” people don’t tend to hang out, like volunteer groups, libraries (I’m cheap, so I rent books a lot), church (I’ve actually had two men approach me in church), learning seminars, country trail walks, etc. Take my advice for what it’s worth noting I am still single, so maybe I shouldn’t be giving anyone advice 🙂

    1. I agree that you have to meet people but too many people try to “force” love which is never a good idea. You know when people get lonely they will do whatever they can just to have someone, anyone which I believe is wrong. Don’t settle.

  8. I feel so removed from today’s dating scene after having been married nearly 21 years and been a friend/room mate / eventually a girlfriend of my husband for 8 years prior to that. But, I was in the same boat as this gentleman back at the end of my first marriage. I have always wanted a safe, secure and sharing family life where we could work together to build the best possible life available to us but I kept my personal finances a secret until I made sure the fellow I was dating was on the same page as me in terms of his belief system & life goals.

    I went into dating with a short list of 5 absolute “must haves” and ticked them off mentally as they became apparent and quickly moved on to a new potential partner when I discovered we were in conflict on one of my big 5’s. I downplayed my position in the firm… there was no need for them to know that I was a partial owner of the business. It was enough for them to know that I was committed to work long and hard hours to get ahead. Perhaps saying that you work with animals is better than telling them that you are a vet. For all they know, you may be a dog walker. No need to clarify assumptions until you know if they are in the “keep” or “discard” camp.

    Perhaps the choice of dating activities need to change for you as well. I will never forget the fellow that I dated for a while that took me canoeing on our first date. I was dressed mostly in white cotton when we capsized the canoe in a muddy river and was well and truly a mess by the time we portaged to the next area. He wasn’t concerned with how I looked after our little mishap and we had a wonderful day out enjoying the beauty of nature…without spending anything but a little gas for the car to get to the jumping off point for our canoe. He was a gentleman though so on our return, after I had a chance to change into dry & clean clothing, we went out for tea to take the chill off of me. I was impressed with his joy in the simple things in life and his caring about my well being. He didn’t dress to impress nor drop a huge amount of coin on our date. Instead, he packed a healthy, lightweight lunch in a backpack for our travels. He was prepared for our day to succeed. I was extremely impressed with all the great qualities this single date showed that he had.

    I believe Mr CBB is correct and that if you live as you plan to continue, the soul mate that shares your belief system will appear. I met my husband in a meeting that I was attending because I believed in the topic and so did he.

    Good luck with future dating but perhaps it’s time to dial it down a notch and find out who these ladies are before you reveal a lot about your finances or career. Simple fun should be enough. It’s all about the joy of sharing time with you. If it’s not – you have your answer. 🙂

    1. Thanks, I’m just taking it day by day to see where it takes me. I just wish it wasn’t so darn hard to meet women who want to get to know the real me and not Dr. me. There is more to me than my job and although I don’t offer that knowledge right away I won’t lie either. Thanks for the good luck, I’ll need it.

  9. As someone who was doing the online-dating and regular dating thing only a few years ago, and cared about managing my money properly then as well, I feel this guy’s pain – and I hope he finds someone great!

    In my experience, there are a few things that stand out in my mind as indicators of frugality or just good common sense with money that I remember happening well before the 3 month mark – for example, about a month into dating my current boyfriend I invited him to meet me at a restaurant I knew he’d love, and I picked up the tab, because I was the one who had selected the restaurant and knew what it was likely to cost. I knew that I had the room in my budget, whereas that early on in a relationship, I couldn’t say the same for him. I’ve also been one to suggest *really* frugal dates early on, because it seems silly to spend over $100 on a meal when you might realize halfway through that you don’t even really like the person that much.

    Unique to this guy’s situation, as a vet (likes animals?! Swoon.) he could always look into meeting people who volunteer with animal-related causes. Speaking as someone who’s been involved with that kind of thing and holds it really near and dear, people in those groups are much less likely to think “Vet? You must make good money.” They’re more likely to think “Vet? He might like my dog!” In my case, I give a lot of my time to these kinds of causes specifically because I’m mindful of my spending, and while I do donate money as well, it’s easier to add more time than more money given where I am right now.

    Hope any of this helps! He could also bring out a coupon on every first date, haha – I’ve heard that’s a great one for screening out people who don’t care about managing money.

    1. Thanks for your response. I’m always out looking to meet new people but I want to find someone who doesn’t have the same interests as me. I do want someone I fall in love with to love animals but I don’t want to live it day and night. I’m not opposed to it as I’m open-minded.

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