MONEY BEHIND CLOSED DOORS IS A WAVE FILLED WITH UNCERTAINTY.
There are many secret societies of the world but the only one you should be focused on is that of your debt freedom. Why a secret society? Not many people I know flash around the news that they have achieved debt freedom nor do they explain what it feels like.
It’s almost expected that people who have found the key to financial success must share it with the world. That’s fine as long as you’re prepared to deal with the aftermath and there will always be one whether you think so or not. Having money brings peace and an evil all at the same time so choosing your battles wisely is always teeter-totter situation.
Secret society invitation
If you’re waiting for an invitation it will never come especially if pretending to have money is part of the smoke cloud you’ve put on for the real world.
There are no awards, no red carpet, bright lights or paparazzi going to be following those who have been inducted into the secret society of debt freedom either. You don’t have to be famous, You don’t have to have a 6-figure income and you sure as hell don’t need someone telling you that you’ll never get an invitation.
I’m not talking about the ultra rich, very successful people whose financial lives may be obvious to some because even they too can be looking for help with debt. Seriously, earning mega bucks means nothing unless it’s managed well.
The other day while chatting to a colleague about work and how it has sucked the life out of me with all the hours I put in I got kicked in the butt again. You know it was just as exciting (insert sarcasm) as saying, “the weather outside today isn’t the greatest” to fill dead-air time.
Crunching on a red apple and looking me straight in the eyes he asked me why I keep doing it. Good question and one I’ve asked myself many times and each time I come up with the same answer.
“Are you in debt?“- “Do you need money?” Just then I thought, oh crap he’s going to start giving me debt advice and tell me about the importance of managing money. That’s just it, I don’t NEED money, it’s not about the money it’s about settling into a career I love. I was saying this in my head but I wanted to say it to him. Do I tell him this? I pondered for a brief second and then I spit it out, “No, I don’t need the money.”
“Must be nice. What do you mean you don’t need the money?” as he continues to savage his apple to the core. (This guy must be hungry I thought or takes food waste VERY seriously. Nothing wrong with that.) We can be called at any time while on break to go back on the floor if the staff needs help so conversations are typically kept to a minimum.
“If you don’t need money then what’s the problem?” he blurts out while smiling at me as if I shouldn’t have any worries in the world. This is why it’s easier to say nothing then to say something when money isn’t the issue.
That’s a man thing I think because we don’t typically get involved with stuff that’s none of our business unless it’s a close pal or family member. I just work with this guy and he was expecting me to pull up a seat and tell him about my, “problems”.
I don’t have any problems besides dreaming about being in a cozy bed next to my wife every chance I get or playing with our son. Just then I realized that debt freedom comes with a price tag. Either you stick to the secret society that you’ve been automatically entered into and keep your financial life hush-hush or you break-free and not care about what anyone thinks or asks you for.
Who will lend me money?
There are problems associated with letting people know that your bank account is healthy and you’re not suffering from debt overload. Why? Because then you are an open target for becoming a financial supply cushion or jealousy destination.
Just like lottery winners get financial advice and help with their win you may need a similar type of protection when you’ve entered the secret society of debt freedom. Not everyone can handle the emotional pursuit of financial success.
Fit in, Fall or Stand Tall
Sometimes it’s better to fit in then to stand out depending on how prepared you are to handle certain situations. I’m not rushing out to get a licence plate that says, “Money Talks” but I am passionate about helping others achieve their success.
Mrs. CBB and I have already experienced a friend asking us for money because they think we don’t have any financial worries. The problem is that they always need money for credit card debt help. They aren’t solving their debt problems and us giving them money won’t cure the issue.
Then what happens? You upset them as if there is a special code of financial honour to help friends clean up their repeated money mess. You’ll find family, friends, colleagues and even strangers will ask for money if they know you’ve got it or aren’t struggling financially.
It’s easy to tell someone to ‘just say no it’s my money’ when being asked for a personal loan but it’s not that easy. Some people give freely but we all know that if you want to stay debt free you need to balance what you have, what you get and what you give away. Sure, we donate money but we don’t expect it back nor are we expected to donate. We do it of our own free will.
CBB opened the door
Finance is not my full-time job nor is blogging the way I earn a living.
I think that’s why blogging at CBB has helped both of us understand the secret society that we’ve entered into and why we choose to keep it private. You won’t catch us talking about our financial position with just anyone. Sure, we’ve spilled the beans a couple of times but it keeps us feeling safe inside knowing that we fit in rather than stand out. It’s not about growing a back-bone either.
Being young (ish) and accomplished is not an everyday thing but there are people out there that crave the attention and want the world to know, “Look at me I’m successful”. There’s nothing wrong with that as long as they can handle breaking free from the secret society to deal with whatever money pressures comes their way.
It’s strange because for years we busted our butts to save money to become part of an elite group of financially free young couples only to keep that success under wraps. Then we realized that we did this for us and only us, not the rest of the world.
Why are some people crazy about showcasing what they’ve got? Because they’ve earned it? Maybe. Feels good? Maybe. Because they can? Maybe. Maybe they are doing none of that but as outsiders we view it this way.
Discussing personal finance is something that most people aren’t comfortable doing especially if they have achieved debt freedom. For those that do I envy them because I wish I had the voice and strength to come out from the secret society to say, ” I did it’, “We did it” but I know that not everyone handles money the same way whether it’s about debt or debt freedom-including us.
So, why all this talk about the secret society of debt freedom?
I wanted people to know that just because someone has achieved debt freedom that doesn’t mean that their financial problems are over. Whether you have money or not there will always be something or someone lurking around your business and you have to watch your back. Financially speaking you can have it all and lose it all at the same time.
Money invites problems
Call me crazy, call me whatever you want but crossing the line from secrecy to putting money out on the table takes more than just a few steps through a door. I’m not complaining by any means but just wanted to get it off my chest that no matter what your financial status is no one NEEDS to know whether you are rich or poor and no one should care. We all know that’s like living in a dream world though because money talks and people DO care.
Financial success can cause problems in relationships, with family and jealous friends and colleagues who want what you have but can’t at the moment. It’s a burden that many people have who aren’t riddled with debt no matter what age they are.
You don’t have to own a house to be successful nor do you have to drive a fancy car. What you do need is patience and tolerance to understand that not everyone will understand what it feels like to be on this side of the door even if you’ve been on their side. This is why I’m so compassionate about helping people get out of debt and budgeting their way to success. I did it, we did it and they can do it to.
When I started blogging in 2012 we had debt and in 2014 we became completely debt free including burning our mortgage. It was then I realized that although I may be behind closed doors in my real life with money I’m able to be free with it here but not without reservation hence my anonymity for all the above reasons.
I also realized that there are more than one door for people to hide behind including those that are suffering in silence with too much debt. It’s never easy to reach out for help especially when you aren’t behind the door you’d hoped and dreamed of in your pursuit of happiness.
It’s YOUR journey
Financial hardship and success is a personal journey that you have to take whether you like it or not. Whether you choose to stay behind closed doors or volunteer your success is up to you. Being the millionaire next door feels great but we’ve learned that keeping our financial life private has offered us something that we can appreciate more than anything, our little family and no money drama.
The part of the conversation with my colleague I didn’t tell you about above is that I told him, “I don’t need money, just happiness. ” Although I felt like I was kicked in the butt because I had offered up what I consider a weakness in my life, I survived it. Certainly a stepping stone but hey it was a 10 minute work break not an afternoon of tea, biscuits and chatter.
There are two types of people in the world: those who ask for directions and those who get lost.
Life may be great in this elite secret society but being happy is all that matters and that my friends doesn’t take money, just a strength to never give up trying and a heart of love.
Discussion Question: Do you talk about your financial success(es) with family, friends, colleagues etc? Why or why not?
A week in my life
This week sucked. We were ALL sick. Not much to say except we went through lots of kleenex, sick days and plenty of rest time. Hopefully this coming week will be filled with smiles and lots more Spring Cleaning. It’s nice to get rid of stuff. I never knew how good it felt until just recently.
Have a great week everyone.
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Top Post This Week: How Much Should My Grocery Budget Be?
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Making a difference (MAD) 2017
Welcome to the 2017 Making A Difference series! Join the networking movement of Personal Finance Bloggers around the world. If you are a personal finance blogger and would like your blog to be featured simply drop me an email. I’m currently booking May/June/July/August 2017-Limited spots.
My name is Amanda, as announced in my website URL and header. I’m an essayist and educator living in the Midwest. In 2015, I started a blog called Dream Beyond Debt.
On that blog, I tracked my progress in paying off $48,000 of student loan debt as quickly as possible. The “as quickly as possible” turned out to be 14 months. I paid off $48,000 of student loan debt in 14 months.
When I started paying it off, I’d never made more than $40,000 a year. I was working as an adjunct instructor at a couple different colleges. Halfway through my debt payoff project, I was offered a full-time teaching position.
Now, I’m an Assistant Professor focused on my creative work. My debt was a big obstacle, but overcoming it was not the only accomplishment of my life. I rebranded the site to my name to tell a different story.
Over at Amanda Page, I write about finding ways to fund my life as the author and activist I want to be. I write about keeping your focus on your dreams. I write about pursuing those brilliant, beautiful, often illogical, outside the box, lovely, irrational, big, giant dreams.
You’ll need money to chase them. Come on over to amanda-page.com to read about how I find the money (and energy) to chase my own. I hope my story can help you find the funds to live the life you’ve always wanted to.
CBB Finance Tip
Enjoy life with a smile and put less focus on the money. Happiness welcomes people into your world and with that networking opportunity you’ll find the success you deserve even if it’s a new friend.
Top finance post
This week Jen over at Saving With Spunk has some tips to share when you are faced with paying for your parents financial mistakes. I’m sure there are many people out there that are in this situation and although it’s easy to say you won’t help most do.
It’s hard for parents to watch their children suffer but also difficult for children to find out about their parents. Just like today’s post many people who have debt suffer in silence behind closed doors for fear of failure or not wanting to burden anyone.
Millennials are at a point where in order to take care of ourselves we have to start thinking about taking care of our parents, whether they deserve it or not. It doesn’t mean I’m letting my mom move in with us or paying her future rent, but I’m establishing habits now so I’m protected in the future.
Frugal recipe hot spot
Food is a big part of any budget and a struggle for so many people which is why I’ve created frugal recipes for my family and yours for many years.
I have a second Facebook page called The Free Recipe Depot where I exclusively share recipes from Food Bloggers around the world.
Check out the Free Recipe Index on CBB compiled of frugal recipes that are 100% tested and accepted by family and friends!
This week Dan over at Cakes Cottage wins my approval with these bite-size Nutella Cookie Cups.
I thought they would be great for Easter as well with a couple of chocolate eggs on top and decorate around the dish. Easy, peasy. Don’t you just want to sink your teeth into one? I do!
Do It Yourself
We always have an amazing crop but have never been introduced to the proper way to pick the basil. My father-in-law briefly explained it to me as he’s a master gardener but he’s not the best teacher when it comes to explaining his tricks of the garden. He is most interesting to watch though.
Search term giggles
Always begin and end your day with a SMILE!- Mr.CBB
Every week I get tens of thousands of people visit Canadian Budget Binder because they did a search online and found my blog.
Most times funny, Sometimes serious.
- How to have instant big money in Summer Time– Haha, ya instant.
- Funk Me Hardwood– Say what?
- Products that will make money– So much for being unique
- How to get a better deal with cable retentions– Cancel your subscription and now you have more money. That’s an awesome deal.
- I have too many bills how do I get rid of some bills– Well you certainly can’t pretend they don’t exist. Start paying them off or cancel what you don’t need.
- Buy food with Paypal– That’s different.
That’s all the fun for this week, thanks for dropping by and we’ll see you all again next Saturday.
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Hey…if you see any mistakes let me know. I’m not an editor just a guy who likes to write and yes I make mistakes.
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