NOT EVERYTHING IS AS IT SEEMS BEHIND THOSE EYES
I’ve heard that not enough stress in your life means you’re not trying hard enough and too much stress can tear you down faster than you can peel a banana. It’s true, I’ve lived it, I still live it and so does my wife.
If you told me you’ve never experienced stress I’d say B.S. because everyone has at one point or another. How it affects you may differ but you’ve certainly felt it.
Can you recall a time where you wished you were a little kid again with no stress and playing was the highlight of your day? You’re not alone. I’m sure we all have. I’ve been blogging about money for 6 years now and not once have I battled the dark side of finance and mental health and that is stress management.
Today, I’m opening up about our struggles with stress because we want to tell you that nothing is always what it seems. So many people think our life must be all flowers and freedom because we have no debt.
Sadly, it’s never that easy and money sure as hell doesn’t make things better. The world in which we live in today is up and down and with the negativity that surrounds the news and how lives can change in an instant. It’s times like this which can easily influence or induce stress to enter through the cracks we leave open to the world.
Positivity? Where is that today? Find me some happy news and that makes my day but it’s rare which is why some people choose to tune out instead of joining in with the highs and lows. I don’t blame them but on the other hand I do want to know what’s happening in our world because it WILL affect me.
People can hide behind money when they have it but eventually stress and other illnesses catch up to them. Life is not as glamorous as it seems just because you are rich and just recently Justin Bieber took to Instagram to share with the world that life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be in the frosted world.
You may recall the media frenzy after he cancelled the last leg of his concert in 2017 to focus on himself and getting back to his faith. He did what he needed to do even though he upset lots of his fans. Honestly, I don’t blame him one bit. YOU first.
News about mortgage renewals, interest rate hikes and debt management is enough on its own to blow up anyone’s stress meter. Pair money with other everyday stresses and it’s a recipe for disaster and in some cases a one-way ticket to a place with no return.
Most people who exhibit extreme bouts of stress just want their life back. The want their life to go back to normal OR they want a normal life. What normal means depends on the person, they way they grew up and their current situation.
- How am I going to pay the rent/mortgage?
- I have too much debt
- I’m going to go bankrupt.
- Will my baby have enough diapers or formula this week?
- I need to put gas in the vehicle.
- I can’t pay my credit card bills.
- My in-laws are driving me crazy.
- I can’t handle my work-load and my boss doesn’t care.
- My co-workers don’t understand
- LIFE IS NOT FAIR
You’re right, life is NOT FAIR however if you want your life to be the best life you can give yourself then you have to go out there and make it your own. Whether you are high-profile, poor, disabled or unable to work for whatever reason life is what YOU make of it. I have a wife who fits in a category and she struggles on a daily basis with her mental health and trying to make this world one that she can smile in day in and day out.
Without smiling at the smallest of things that make you happy you will begin to overlook everything in it’s path.
Stress is Stress
There is everyday stress that creeps up when we least expect it and in some cases, we expect it especially if the situation is critical or may impact your surroundings. On the flip-side when stress is something that you feel all day every day or it becomes part of your life where you constantly over-think and you feel overwhelmed and exhausted on a daily basis perhaps it’s time to incorporate stress management into your daily routine.
Living with stress can really wear you down and I know that first-hand because I have had to invite a stress management routine into both of our lives in the past two years. It’s not easy committing to making yourself a better you but it’s important if you want to go on living with a smile on your face and enjoying what this world has to offer.
I just saved 100% on Stress by not giving a F**k! You might not want to hear that but it’s the damn truth!!
The hardest part is admitting you need the help and whether you go to your doctor or you start by researching stress management techniques online it’s important to realize that it’s not a one-stop fix. Stress management is ongoing for just about everyone who fails to find that door and not come back out.
Living with stress that goes beyond simple stresses of life coupled with depression can really take its toll on a person and their family. You will find that relationships suffer, kids feel alienated, family doesn’t know how to be around you and for the most part people back away.
It’s tough going when they see someone they used to know turn into someone they no longer know how to communicate with. In essence people become afraid to be around you because they don’t know how you will react to certain situations including simple questions such as , “How’s your day going?”
Sometimes there are people just like you who may not even know why they are stressed out or depressed but you are. It’s still important to talk to your doctor so he/she can evaluate you and find the right program to help get you back to your new you. I say ‘new’ because we need to move forward and focusing on who we used to be can sometimes hinder progress. Most often we will never be the person we used to be.
I find if we write down the person that we would like to see in the mirror it’s far easier to target those successes rather than dream about what used to be. You may not be able to run that 5k any longer but focus on your love for running and just getting back out and doing it. Eventually one mile will turn into 5 and you’ll be on your way. Even if it doesn’t pan out for you at least you’ve gone from doing nothing to doing what you love.
One of the most uplifting things we can do for our inner-self is to get out of the house, breathe in fresh air and just go for a walk to explore nature. Both Mrs. CBB and I do this at least twice a week because it helps us bond in a world where chaos is our calm and because nature is beautiful and sparks some delicious conversation. Relationships don’t need to be splashed with money to be successful, all you need to do is care about being together exploring life on general terms not Gold Visa.
Over the years I’ve been working two jobs and blogging and it has taken its toll on me and my family. We are not out of the clear by any means but we are working together as a couple to bring back the spirit that we once had in our relationship. It’s not easy and no matter how much money you have or don’t have it won’t make a lick of difference in the world if stress dominates and drags you down.
Signs of Stress
- Sweating more than usual
- Chronic Pain
- Lack of concentration
- Digestive issues
- Can’t wind down
- Loss of appetite or overeating
- Dry Mouth
- Over-thinking situations
- Not taking care of yourself
- Low or No Sexual Drive
- Teeth grinding (that’s both of us) Night Guards help from the dentist
- Body aches
- Chest pains
- Ears start ringing
- Can’t sit still
- Loss of control
- Can’t keep up
Effects of Stress
- You don’t want to be around people
- You avoid what you used to like
- You want to sleep more although sometimes you can’t
- Your self-esteem plummets
- You don’t feel worthy as if you’re not doing enough or good enough
- You get agitated easily by the smallest of things.
- Your mood flip-flops
- Stomach aches
This list goes on and on but generally stress takes on many of what I have described above. We’ve been there, We are there and we are working to overcome stress in our lives by incorporating stress management techniques.
How to overcome stress
Document It- Talk About It – Massage It
You have to find what works best for you! Alcohol, drugs, relationships with no meaning NEVER make things right. If you truly want out of the stress cave you have to close the past and be open to your new future.
The best way to learn how to release stress is to understand why you are stressed out in the first place. For some people like myself who don’t really know why they are stressed but feel the effects it’s even harder to dissect. I find the best thing for me is to write my feelings down in a book as they happen so I can revisit and question them. Why was I upset over not having a blog post ready?
By doing this I can talk to myself about the situation and what upset me the most. Time after time it’s about success and wanting to be there for the people I care about the most. I want to help others and if I can’t or if I let people down I’m hard on myself. It’s not easy but I understand I’m not perfect and I will make mistakes but managing my stress can’t be fixed it has to be massaged by the person inside and that’s me.
Talking about it helps me the most and although I do blurt stuff out from time to time on the blog I know that most of my fans understand that the man behind the curtain is human just like they are.
- Meditation is a great way to wind down *There are lots of YouTube meditation videos you can listen to. There are also some on Spotify and Amazon Music.
- Learn to slow your pace down as there is no rush to get it all done
- Healthy eating, balanced diet
- Battle your fears one step at a time
- Mindfulness *Be aware
- Fill your world with soulful Music
- Drink lots of water
- Make sure to get all your vitamins (talk to your doctor)
- Reach out to those you can talk with (see list below)
- Take time to explore on your own- get out of the house
- Turn your mind off of what is causing you stress and on to things that make you happy
- Learn deep-breathing techniques – If your work benefits offer services of health professionals by all means- use them!
- Spend time with your friends and family *unless they are the cause of your stress
- Yes a stress ball works wonders too!
Who can you talk to about stress management?
Coping with stress can be tough when you try and do it alone and although admitting that stress is causing your life problems is one of the hardest things to do. It’s certainly important to open up if you feel that the stress you are exhibiting may harm you in any way or if you want to find solutions that fit your lifestyle for the long-term.
Helpline staff is available for free, 24 hours a day, seven days a week to:
listen, offer support and strategies to help you begin your recovery
help you find treatment services and supports in your community such as crisis lines, self-help groups and family services
offer basic education about mental health, drug and alcohol addiction and problem gambling
- Doctor or Health Management Team
- Nurse Practitioner
- Help Line
- Human Resources
- Husband/Wife/Life partner
- Your cat or dog but don’t expect much response- just cuddles
Get referrals for:
- Mental health: 1-866-531-2600
- Drug and alcohol addiction: 1-800-565-8603
- Problem gambling: 1-888-230-3505
At the end of the day I’ve had to learn to say no to many people in my life and back down from doing things that I love such as blogging to take care of me, my wife and son. It’s never easy but when you can replace peace and laughter in place of stress you know you are venturing in the right direction.
How to release stress? Just LET IT GO!!!
Discussion: Have you ever dealt with depression or stress and how did you manage it?
Happy Budgeting CBB’ers!
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