If there is anything costly about life it’s having to begin again when a relationship fails.
Perhaps you’re starting a new job and have to move across the country.
Whatever the situation having to start over takes willpower, strength and determination.
Today, I will focus on having to begin again after a relationship fails and some of the costs involved.
Consider my first tip : Emergency Savings is essential for more reasons than one.
The Person You Begin With Is Never The Person You Leave
I’m sure you’ve all hear the saying about how someone can be so cold and mean when a relationship fails.
It’s true, the person you marry or are in a relationship with is never the person you leave or divorce.
Both Mrs. CBB and I have had to begin again in our lives and something we’ve never talked about before.
I was in a long-term relationship for about 8 years and Mrs. CBB was married when she turned 30 years old.
She divorced the following year and “money matters” was cited as the main reason for the break-up.
Before we dive if you are divorced or common-law things can get pricey when you hire a lawyer.
For both of our experiences, we did not use a lawyer however Mrs. CBB’s husband did.
There was no costs involved for her as he retained the lawyer and not her.
So, certainly depending on your specific situation lawyer fees can significantly dip into savings or put someone into debt.
Add kids into the equation and you’ll have lots more to consider however I’m not familiar with Canadian family law.
When my ex and I split up we were not married nor did we have children but we shared the same bank accounts.
I guess you could say we were common-law but thankfully we had a somewhat smooth transition.
In both situations, we had to begin again whilst considering how we were going to afford life.
Begin Again On One Income
Comparatively, we both went from dual-income households to the single-income lifestyle.
I paid my ex out for the house so she could be on her way with her new boyfriend and soon-to-be baby.
Trust me, I felt like the luckiest guy in the world that day and that was because I was free.
I was now able to begin again without having to worry about what I could not control.
When you split with someone eventually you take back your control as the dust settles.
That’s what happened to me.
Unfortunately, my mortgage was almost paid off but I could not afford to run the house as my finances would be tight.
I’m not one to live on the edge like that as anything could happen but thankfully I had savings.
As much as I wanted to stay there I chose to sell the house in search of new beginnings.
There’s something about staying in a house after a relationship ends as the memories always surround you.
To be fair I could have rented a room as there was a spare but I didn’t want to get into that.
I used my savings to renovate the kitchen and bathroom and a few other bits to get maximum return.
This was the time around when I met Mrs. CBB and we started dating.
Exchange Rates And Moving To Canada To Begin Again
In the meantime I was renovating my small townhouse which was under 800 sq feet to sell it.
Luckily, it sold fast and I got far more than I ever thought and the exchange rate was 1 British Pound = $2.54 Canadian dollars.
Sometimes we look back at the time I thought I was rich when I would visit Canada. Haha!
It really was crazy how much money I could get for exchange into Canadian dollars.
Needless to say, this was a perk to marrying a Canadian and moving to Canada to begin again.
However the pretty amazing exchange rate didn’t last too long as it started to nose-dive.
I eventually moved most of it over to take what I could get from the exchange rate.
Thankfully so as it has never been as lucrative as it was back in 2006-2007.
I also left some money in the UK bank account for other purposes.
- Birthday and Christmas Money for our nieces and nephews
- Travel money when we went back to visit
Currently, the same owner is living in my old house and although she tried to sell it once it never sold.
If she wanted to sell at the time she was going to lose money since the costs of houses dropped.
Nevertheless, I felt I sold at the right time to maximize my return on investment.
Finding A Path To Begin Again
Moving on, Mrs. CBB she had a 3000sq ft home including the basement at the age of 30.
It was a matrimonial home and since the relationship fell apart it was easier to sell and begin again.
Since the home was newly built it still took nearly a year to sell as it was around the time houses were built in a day.
You know, the cookie-cutter homes? No offence if you own one because we do. haha!
Her home was unique as it was not a cookie-cutter home rather a designated detached condo two-story home.
That meant paying a monthly condo fee of $80 to take care of outdoor maintenance.
Eventually the house sold and the equity was split and she got divorced all in the same year.
Since there were no kids involved in either of our relationships it was a pretty clean getaway.
It wasn’t over yet as we both had to find a path to a place we were comfortable with.
Starting Over Successfully And Accepting Bumps In The Road
Both Mrs. CBB and I already knew each other by the time she sold her house.
The reason it took so long was not that the house was overpriced but because her realtor sucked.
Also, we believe that people who were interested in viewing the home were told it was a break-up.
There are some things you should tell a realtor and other things you should not.
Unfortunately, when you divorce or split with your partner the realtor does know.
She had plenty of viewing whilst selling the house but low-ball offers.
For some reason, buyers think that low-balling someone during their lowest time is the best way to get a deal.
However, not everyone is hurting financially as much as they think.
She was living in the house while her ex was off living his best life somewhere in la-la land.
The cost of running the house was a bit much than she could afford as her ex hardly helped.
Apartment Living vs. Room Rental
Once the house finally sold she decided to rent a room instead of renting an apartment.
Knowing my wife the way I do she went for the room rental to save money and having that feeling of home.
There was often hustle and bustle of the family living upstairs and she had no fear of being alone.
As well, to begin again in an apartment would have cost her near $800 a month plus parking and utilities including tenants insurance.
There are other things to consider when you begin again a life never dreamed of such as;
- Vehicle insurance and maintenance if you own a car including petrol
- Car Payments
- Loan and Debt repayments (if any)
- Washing and drying fees for laundry
- Life insurance
Pretty much everything paid for with a dual-income has to be paid on a single-income.
Forget The Past And Move Forward
Getting divorced or splitting with a partner also includes having to move or downsize living arrangements.
The only catch is that you may not have the money to keep up with the lifestyle you once had.
For example, I moved back home with my mum and dad and then with my sister.
To Begin Again Living A Frugal Lifestyle
For Mrs. CBB it meant having to chop expenses that no longer fit in her so-called monthly budget.
At the time her way of budgeting was watching her bank account and making sure there was money in it.
We’ve come to learn that’s not such a bright idea.
Expenses such as life insurance and investments may also get knocked on the head first.
The good thing about variable expenses is that you have the control over costs.
You can also change the way you eat and stop eating out and opt for homemade and eliminating any wasted food.
It all adds up when you’re trying to begin again and trim your expenses just to get by.
Perhaps selling a vehicle and using public transit, biking, or walking to get around town and to work and back.
Saving Money Even If It’s Not An Ideal Situation
Even though she could have afforded to buy a home or rent an apartment she opted for the simple life to clear her head.
The room rental was only $400 everything included plus a parking space.
Although it wasn’t ideal always having to listen to teenagers fighting and noise we pushed through it.
This bought us time to figure out our finances, save money and find a home that we both loved.
By this time we were married and I moved to Canada right into her room for rent for an extra $100 a month.
Starting A New Career Or Going Back To School
We only stayed there for about 2 years in which time I graduated from higher education and started a new career.
Going back to school was not as bad as I had imagined but I was sort of thrown into the situation right away.
Imagine getting off a plane in a new country and practically begging to get into school to start over.
I didn’t even know how Canadian money worked at that time which was the running joke.
Having to explain to cashiers that I didn’t know what the coins were worth turned into a laugh.
It took some time but finally I figured it all out with the help of Mrs. CBB.
My education was paid in cash so I walked away without any student loans and graduated top of my class.
I also was able to see more of the city as I took the city transit to school every day.
Imagine how proud I was to figure that out without having getting lost once?
After two years we had enough basement living and finally found our home.
Lessons Learned While Starting Over
Looking back it was easy for both of us to see how thankful we were to be frugal shoppers and savers.
This by far set us up for success because we had the basics of frugal living in our blood so it wasn’t a surprise.
For some people who lived a lavish life having to begin again with a budget life is tough.
It’s like taking away a Bentley and getting keys to a second-hand Dodge Neon with 100,000 km and a bit of rust.
That is reality and a tough lesson to learn about money in terms of how easy it can come and go.
Having Multiple Income Streams
Years later before becoming parents I decided to start Canadian Budget Binder in 2012 as a way to tell our story.
It was also a journey that I knew many people around the world could relate to.
This was never meant to be a money-making stream for me rather a hobby to express myself.
Sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers about life than it is your pals if you know what I mean.
Surprisingly. this blog has blossomed into a 5 figure income stream for me which is a blessing.
I have many dedicated CBB friends who have given more to me than I think I have to them.
Besides living a frugal life we participated in focus groups to earn extra income as well homestay programs.
Begin Again or Fail Again
Despite having money from selling our homes we paid off Mrs. CBB’s truck loan and paid for a down payment for our new home.
Using all the savings techniques I discuss on this blog is what helped us pay off our mortgage in 5 years.
Not only that but becoming debt-free didn’t mean we could splurge.
With a zero-based budget, we do save money as our income has increased but continue to think frugal.
Just as every story may have a wonderful new beginning it can easily end on a rocky road.
I’m not just talking about divorce but health conditions, job loss and the costs of death.
Factor in the costs of life that could possibly happen or will happen ahead of time.
That’s the way we live our life while enjoying the financial freedom of owing nobody apart from everyday expenses.
Overall, our journey has been a learning experience as will be the rest of our lives.
Think before acting and come prepared with an action plan.
Discussion: Have you had to begin again and what costs or situation were put into because of it?
I’d love to read your comments on this topic.
Net Worth Losses and Gains
What happened to our money in February?
Not a whole heck happened in February after Christmas and into the blah days of winter.
With nowhere to go most of our time was spent at home, physio, schoolyard, grocery store, or Shoppers Drug Mart.
Exciting I know.
As for our investments well they increased by $5206.96 which is better than nothing.
We had a virtual meeting with our advisor last week and we decided to make one change to our portfolio.
At this time we are considering investing another $50,000 but aren’t sure if that’s a smart idea or not.
What would you do?
Leave me your comments below.
Calculating Net Worth 101
Do you know how to calculate your own Net Worth?
We like to calculate our net worth every month so we know if we are still on track.
Some people calculate it yearly or quarterly but it’s up to you and how informed you want to stay.
Net Worth is only an estimate and not everyone uses the same type of figures to tally it up.
Some of you may not include vehicles like we do or leave out assets inside the home as we have.
You might be that person that believes that your house should be excluded.
It depends on what you want to calculate or what you can sell today and make money for tomorrow.
Figuring out net worth is fairly easy as long as you know your monthly financial numbers.
Net Worth is adding up all your assets (what you own) then taking away your liabilities (what you owe) which will give you a net worth number.
Understanding your net worth will help you determine if you are on track meeting or beating your personal financial goals.
It doesn’t get any easier than that.
Determining Your Net Worth
Net Worth = Assets – Liabilities
Why not go ahead and calculate your own using our Free Money saving Tool Net worth Calculator (Canadian Budget Binder 2012)
When budgeting anything is possible, we are proof of that although we still have a long way to go in our journey.
These are our numbers and our goals, not a means of comparison towards your own goals to others’ target goals.
We don’t care how much money others earn or if they have a high net worth or if it is lower than ours as it’s not a competition.
I hope our experiences will help guide you along your financial path working towards debt freedom.
Not Everyone Follows The Same Path
Some of you may have had to start over like I did or go to school a second time and now have OSAP loans to pay back.
Others may have divorced, lost money in the stock market or other investments, suffered job loss, fell ill or injured on the job and so on but you can’t let that stop you from achieving your financial goals.
You may have been given trust funds, paid-for homes, educations, or other perks that give you a financial kick-start and that’s OK too.
Earn It, Save It, Invest It, Build It
Remember what I said, “It’s not about how much money you make, it’s how you save it”.
The reason people accumulate wealth is that they know how to save or invest even if inherited or a lottery win.
The smallest improvements should mean big strides in working towards reaching your goals.
Sometimes we have to fail to learn and we’ve all been there.
Money can be evil for some people especially those who have a negative attitude towards their financial situation.
Be optimistic and little by little with determination you too should see improvements if you want that to happen.
Canadian Budget Binder Net Worth Updates 2021
Click the links below to read our net worth updates for the year 2021.
That’s all for this month’s net worth update but please check in the middle of April to see how we made out in March 2021 with our financial portfolio.
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