CHANGE YOUR LIFE BY BUILDING CONFIDENCE AND ELIMINATING STRESS
Being in debt is a big deal that can hang over your head day and night especially when you can’t pay it back on time, if at all.
You might cringe when opening your financial investments online in fear of seeing them fluctuate. Money worries are real but there are ways to conquer them once and for all.
Finally, there may be a credit crisis that impacts your life and if you’re not ready it can swallow everything you’ve ever worked for in one bite.
Stepping stones to money worries
No matter your gender money worries will always trail the back of your mind even when you try to sleep. We are groomed from a young age to get a good education so we can go to college or university so we don’t have money worries but it’s just not that easy.
In fact I believe that money stress starts at this point because we begin to understand what it means having to go to work so we can earn money to pay for things we need and want.
I’m not saying a child is a financial expert but they see mom and dad off to work so they can earn money and our knowledge of this financial burden called life grows the older we get.
The pressure at a young age trying to figure out the rest of our lives and what career path we want to take can literally tear a person down.
You don’t want to let your parents down by not following in their footsteps or choosing a career that was embarrassing or not a high wage earning position.
Careers rarely live up to your childhood dreams. In one study, looking for the ideal job left college seniors feeling more anxious, stressed, overwhelmed and depressed throughout the process — and less satisfied with the outcome.- Stop Asking Your Kids What They Want To Be When They Grow Up.
Children and young adults might not know it at the time but money worries silently creep up because without a good job you’ll have no money.
How many of you have heard that or been told that before?
I have many times and as a guy this tears you apart and so has one of my readers who sent me an email looking for advice.
I can’t speak on behalf of women but I know my wife is a confessed work-a-holic whose success driven ways landed her in the position she is in today, ill and unable to work.
She saw her parents lose everything they worked so hard for to a failed business plan, no back-up plan and no savings.
Living in poverty for many years with a sick parent and nowhere to turn but bankruptcy put the batteries into the ignition of her plight to become financially successful at all costs. (not illegal, lol)
Making The Right Career Choice
Dear Mr. CBB,
My name is Chris (not his real name) and I’m 18 years old and started reading your blog because my parents told me that I had to start worrying about saving money for school, car, house, retirement and to start a family.
I honestly felt like I was hit in the face with LIFE in one conversation with them when all I was worried about at the time was getting up in the morning for school. I just graduated from high-school and hoping to go attend University in the Fall.
The problem is I applied for a science program because I feel that it would earn me lots of money, make my parents happy and life will be void of money worries. I don’t believe a damn thing I’ve done is for me but for them and what I feel this world expects me to do.
I don’t really know.
My question is how do I get over money worries about the future and figure out if the career path I’ve chosen is one that is my calling or one that I’m calling for the wrong reasons.
I’ve always wanted to become a doctor but I’m not sure if I’ve got what it takes nor do I know if it’s something that I wanted because I was told it was a prestigious career choice.
Thanks for any tips.
I can’t speak on your specific educational choices but I can tell you that it’s not easy and you will fail and you will succeed and as you get older your path may or may not be apparent.
I went to University twice and the first time I thought I really wanted to be a computer engineer because I loved computers and it would earn me a good living in the UK.
Little did I know that there were going to be LOTS of computer engineering graduates vying for the same jobs which left me working in manufacturing environment.
Not everything after you graduate is cut and dry in terms of finding your dream career. We need to be prepared for what may be and what might not be.
Below I will detail ways you can lessen your money worries and find ways to break free from the stress of not knowing what life has ahead for you.
Failures Build Experience
Financial freedom doesn’t come without failures as you will learn what works and what doesn’t for your situation.
Some people believe that it’s only men who carry the bulk of money worries because they are the bread and butter in marriage. It doesn’t work that way because equally and rightfully so women are in positions with higher income levels today more than ever before.
Is the glass ceiling still there? Sure it is but barriers have been broken and because of this opportunities have increased for woman. I also believe that it’s a stepping stone.
My wife was speaking to her friend who is a dentist and obviously earns a good living at what she does. Her husband on the other hand mostly held blue collar jobs and has opted to stay home with their 2 children.
It made more sense to quit his job to take care of their children so his wife could return to work early after the birth of each child. They saved like warriors but even though she earns well over 6 figures a year money worries did not elude them.
My point is that it’s not just the man who has the burden of earning the money for the family it’s equally as important for both partners. Communicating about money in relationships helps lower stress levels because once you start building your lives together the fun and games begin.
Gone in an instant
In my case I’m the earner in our family and I won’t lie, I was scared to death because it wasn’t supposed to happen this way. We had no children and were thrilled to start our lives together but then it took a turn for the worse.
When we bought our house my wife was earning a larger income as I was still working my way up the income ladder with years of experience. I was very proud of her accomplishments as she worked hard to change her career path by going back to school and graduating a second time.
Then boom she got ill and was unable to work then lost her career at the same time due to downsizing of the company. It was a miserable disaster happening 3 months after we bought our home.
We have always been savers and conscious about the way we spent our money but that didn’t remove the money worries that lingered.
- How were we going to pay our new mortgage?
- What if something happens to me? (Getting sick was not an option but you can’t control what lurks beneath the skin)
We went from happy into a state of financial shock in a matter of months and all we could do was take that fear and turn it around.
Deep-rooted money worries
There aren’t many people in this world who haven’t at one point or another who have had a fear of money worries. In fact money and greed are two of the main reasons stress and worry are both invited in our lives.
There was a time in my life where money worries was all I ever thought about and it wasn’t necessarily because I was piling on the debt it was the future that beat me up the most.
I bought my first house at age 21 and my second at age 24 and I was working in a manufacturing facility doing an above minimum wage job that made my body ache from top to bottom.
It wasn’t like I would brag about how proud I was to work where I worked because I was happy I had a job to pay the bills. It was only a job and I didn’t have much motivation to crawl up the ladder because I was not what one would call leadership quality in stressful situations.
From work to home money worries can control your every thought especially if you are in a position of authority where it’s your responsibility to make sure there are gains and limited losses if any at all.
Thankfully all I had to fiddle with was my money worries which gave me many highs and lows over the course of my 40 odd years. From owning a home so young to buying my first car as soon as I had my licence to trying to sustain it all financially.
The moment you incur any type of debt the first two things you should consider are;
- How am I going to pay for it?
- Is this payment sustainable for the long-term?
Unfortunately neither of those hold much weight because anything could happen such as job loss or illness or perhaps something crazy in your life that takes you on the road to nowhere. It happens, it all happens to the best of us.
- I didn’t have huge amounts of savings to fall back on.
- My parents did not have spare money to just lend me in the event of financial crisis.
Relying on myself was the only way to get the ball rolling and thankfully I did something about it because that ball hasn’t stopped.
Addressing Money Worries
How do you get over these money worries?
Well, there is no easy answer but what I can offer personal experiences which may or may not resonate with your situation.
When it came to how I handled my stress and ability to keep my head above water there were a few things I did to successfully keep me on the path to debt freedom.
Talking to someone about your money worries can be a huge help in understanding you are not alone. If you don’t feel that talking to friends and family is the right direction for your there are money coaches or financial experts willing to discuss your money.
If you have a financial advisor turn to them for advice about your current and future money worries. This is something Mrs. CBB and I have both done which has helped decrease our stress about today and tomorrow. Finding an advisor you trust is also very important.
How to gain self-confidence
The financial market is like a dark hole especially when you’ve got time and money invested which is the umbrella of your life. What I mean by this is some people own a home which is their retirement savings but haven’t paid off.
Some of you may well be mortgage free but selling your home may not yield you as much as you thought. Prices go up and rarely go down unless it has to do with lining your own pocket so it’s a tricky game of timing.
You must know your financial situation in order to assess it which means tracking your spending, budgeting and getting organized. I’d recommend reading our 10 Step Budgeting Series where we discuss what we went through to get where we are today, debt free.
Below are a few examples of what I did to build my self-confidence when I was single and married which both brought on money worries that heavily weighed on my shoulders.
- Write down my financial worries – You can’t fix what you can’t clearly define. I did this and my list wasn’t as long as I thought.
- What is my back-up plan? – I started a blog, continued education, investments, built a networking system of like-minded people.
- Am I investing in myself? – Time alone, Education, Health and Wellness, Sports
Small Steps To Conquer Financial Worries
One step at a time is all it takes to fight money worries so you feel like you are in a better place. Once you understand where your money is going and ways to simplify the way you spend money you’ll see the bigger picture.
Sometimes people fall into deep despair about money without first finding out why and doing the best they can to cut expenses or even go as far to eliminate them.
- Find ME Time , Relax, Focus, Smile. Focus on creating a better you which will also help determine the source of your money worries.
- Start a Budget to manage debt and take control of your money worries (Download our free budget here)
- Be realistic about your financial goals and how life with or without health benefits could impact your financial situation. What do you want to achieve in set time frame?
- Automatically pay your bills by setting up auto-pay (huge time saver) and fix any credit report problems to increase your credit score.
- Find ways to earn more money or extra money because multiple sources of income is like having a Plan B,C and D.
- Compare different Canadian credit cards with lower interest rates, balance transfer options etc. Less debt equals decreased money worries.
- Increase Savings and Start an Emergency Savings Fund. Talk to a financial advisor about retirement savings and market volatility.
- Stop worrying about the small stuff and focus on what you can control.
- Network with like-minded people to gain valuable financial experience
- Be honest with yourself because if you’re not happy with your situation you won’t see it grow.
No matter what career path you choose to take in life it may or may not be what you planned it to be as we found out early in our marriage. Unfortunately all you can do is change your mind-set, build confidence and take control of your finances so your money worries don’t elevate to the point it causes you distress.
Discussion: What advice would you offer Chris? What steps have you taken to keep money worries at bay in your life?
Leave me your comments below and I’ll respond to them.