Everyday Living Tips | Relationships | The Saturday Weekly Review

How Hoarding Affects Your Children When You’re Gone : The Saturday Weekend Review #288

hoarding

HOARDING THINGS CAN TAKE IT’S TOLL ON FAMILY LEFT TO CLEAN UP THE MESS

Hoarding is a mental disorder that no one wants to deal with let alone clean up especially if it’s your parents.

Boxes of stuff may be lining the hallways, garages are filled top to bottom and there is a small path in your basement to move around.

Hoarding is a big part of society all over the world and takes prisoners of all ages and walks of life.

The pleasure we all get when acquiring new material things is often one of euphoria but often subsides.

For some people, they crave this high whether the item is new, used, given to them, stolen or found free on the corner or by dumpster diving.

Hoarding Behaviours

Have you ever thrown something away and regretted it later?

Likely, as we’ve all done it however those with hoarding tendencies struggle with that regret so severely it affects them on a daily basis.

The sad this is that having a hoarding disorder also means the person probably has no idea they have it.

I’m sure some of you reading this may have grown up in a home with hoarders and had to hide it from your friends.

I bet you couldn’t wait to move out on your own and if you are out the fear of going back to clean up the mess is even thicker.

  • Someone else might need it
  • I might need it later

How To Overcome Hoarding

Helping hoarders declutter is one of the hardest chores a child ever has to take on because most often you are losing a battle before you begin. 

Bringing in hoarding specialists to help declutter a hoarder’s home is ideal especially if they know how to deal with hoarders behaviour.

Specialized cleaners to help clean spaces that are unsanitary left by hoarding trash and animals are very important.

The good news is there is help and the road to recovery is possible as long as hoarders have support from professionals and loved ones along the way.

Those with hoarding problems are treated with medication, psychiatric doctors for intervention, behavioural therapists and talk therapy depending on the severity of the disorder.

Disposophobia and Hoarding

Disposophobia also called the hoarding disorder is a phobia where people struggle to let go of things that have meaning as small as a piece of yarn.

What is hoarding?

Hoarding disorder (aka compulsive hoarding or pathological hoarding) is acquiring possessions along with the failure to discard them, even if the items are worthless, no longer useful. Hoarded items fill the person’s home, and can cause severe problems with day-to-day activities and relationships, and even pose a danger to life through being a fire and safety hazard.- www.eMentalHealth.ca

The person who is hoarding items may not have any use for the item but fears getting rid of it.

Another reason for the hoarding may be the belief that someone else can use it down the line.

Perhaps they are clinging on to items their children can use and they believe they will be saving them money. 

The mentality of it’s all yours when I die surfaces however most kids aren’t interested in cleaning up a hoarders delight.

As lovely the sentiment it’s just not normal to collect items in abundance where it overtakes space inside and outside of the home.

Number one on the list of hoarding tendencies is the Britons.

The Britons, also known as Celtic Britons or Ancient Britons, were Celtic people who inhabited Great Britain from the British Iron Age into the Middle Ages, at which point their culture and language diverged into the modern Welsh, Cornish and Bretons.- Wikipedia

Causes of Hoarding

Having experienced mild hoarding first hand by one person who grew up very poor and was afraid to get rid of things and the other suffering from Frontal Lobal Dementia it’s clear this disorder has no boundaries.

Hoarding affects people with certain neurological disorders who may show atrophy of the brain or unusual frontal lobe shapes.

These include;

  • Dementia
  • ADHD
  • Schizophrenia
  • Alzheimer’s
  • Certain addictions
  • Developmental disabilities
  • OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

Source: Fearof.net

Hoarding makes people with this disorder feel better and may stem from an early age as a comfort zone.

Perhaps teddy bears made you feel safe when you were 3 and collecting them has turned into a safety hoarding zone.

Suffering from anxiety or depression is also another reason hoarding may occur and be a constant struggle when trying to get rid of things.

This is where we believe my father-in-law who loved to collect tools and everyday items could be used around the home comes into play.

There’s no method to his madness and organizational skills of hoarders are either OCD or non-existent.

His trigger was likely job loss due to severe health issues which can really take a toll on someone who wanted to be successful.

Losing everything you’ve ever dreamed of because you are unable to work can rip away at your core.

You feel like you have nothing left to control but you can control, “stuff” and that is like a high for those who hoard.

Other For Hoarding

  • Life Trauma
  • Abuse
  • Trust Issues
  • Culture
  • Media, Marketing, Advertising

Dementia and Hoarding

On the other hand, my MIL with dementia is tidy and collected cleaning supplies and my FIL was the opposite, unorganized chaos.

Interestingly when he wasn’t looking she would get rid of things in the garbage.

He would collect and she would dispose of as if they held each other up.

Thankfully it was only a mild hoarding problem that we have to go in and clean up.

Recently we found out it’s not uncommon for those with dementia or Alzheimer’s to collect paper products such as toilet paper and paper towels.

What is Alzheimer’s?

Alzheimer’s disease is a progressive disorder that causes brain cells to waste away (degenerate) and die. Alzheimer’s disease is the most common cause of dementia — a continuous decline in thinking, behavioral and social skills that disrupts a person’s ability to function independently. Source

It kind of all made sense to us after we read that although she lived for cleaning her house every single day.

It’s hard to disseminate a tendency when it seems to be the norm so it’s so easy to miss the red flags.

And again, many people who are hoarding have no idea they are doing it.

It is normal.

Types of Hoarders

There really is no limit to hoarding stuff and you might just be surprised to read about what people with this disorder actually hoard.

I could list so many types of hoarding tendencies below but some of the main ones that tend to surface are;

  • Money Hoarders
  • Trash Hoarders
  • Dementia Hoarding
  • Book Hoarding
  • Memory Hoarder
  • Emotional Hoarders
  • Digital Hoarding

Hoarding behaviour comes with the reasons why he/she needs to buy or keep the stuff they have.

You’ll see they will find a space for everything they hoard even if it makes a property look like a junk pile or a house a play centre.

No one can touch a hoarder home except for them or unless they give you permission to go in and help them get rid of things.

In some cases, the city may deem the house unfit living conditions and order the person out of the home.

Fire hazards are a big deal in homes of people who are hoarding.

It’s amazing what hides behind closed doors of your friends, family, and neighbours.

Getting Rid Of Hoarding Items After Death

When a parent dies or is unable to care for themselves any longer and is moved to care homes, retirement homes or hospice the real work begins.

What you leave behind is what your children have to clean up and honestly,  it’s not fair.

Most often a clean-up is necessary to put the house up for sale so either the kids do it or hiring hoarding specialists and cleanup crews is necessary.

And, they don’t come cheap.

Who’s going to pay for this?

If there’s no money then either the kids do it or payment can sometimes be delayed until the house is sold if there is equity in.

Even then, that’s a sticky situation because businesses don’t know all of the financial debt the owner has.

It’s the most depressing situation to find yourself in not knowing what to keep and what to get rid of.

  • Does any of this stuff have sentimental value that we should keep?
  • Do we sell it or donate it?

So many questions pop into your mind and you may find yourself struggling as the child of a hoarder.

In some cases, children often become hoarders themselves especially if they grew up around it from a young age.

Ideally when clean-up occurs having outside sources help that aren’t emotionally involved is the key.

Order a big dumpster and these friends and family will help you get through the process.

Minimalist Living

One of the things Mrs. CBB and I discussed recently is how important it is to live with less so we don’t leave any large burdens for our son.

If our son moves away and he may well do that having to book time off of work, leave his family to come and clean up our mess can be costly.

Costly that his employer may not pay him for the time away and emotionally drag him down.

We won’t do that to him.

That is another reason we made sure to get our WILL completed by professionals as soon as we could.

Leaving no rock unturned when it comes to your life especially when you are leaving loved ones behind is very important.

Often many people have way too much stuff in their house that they don’t need or use.

Purging your home every month of items you no longer use to donate or sell is ideal.

Another thing to keep in mind is when you are out shopping and find a steal of a deal ask yourself, “Do I really need this?”.

Related: How to tidy up using the KonMari method

Perhaps you find you are showing hoarding tendencies like your parents then maybe it’s time to seek professional help.

Hoarding is not just one person’s problem it’s everyone’s problem and whether it’s a mild or severe case it has to be tackled gently with compassion and reasoning.

Discussion:

Do you plan to downsize what you own as you age?

How do you go about it? Have you experienced hoarding by your parents?

Share your story and comments below as I’d love to hear your feedback on this very important topic in Canada.

CBB Posts You May Have Missed

Below is a recap of the blog posts I’ve published over the past two weeks so you can catch up on your reading.

Keto Soft Chocolate Chip Cookies

Mr. CBB’s Motivational Corner

positive vibes motivation

Fan Deal Of The Week

thrift store Canada Deals

If you have a deal you want to share with the CBB group send me a photo and tell me about your deal.

Hi Mr.CBB,

We went to some local thrift stores after garage sales today.

These are local second-hand shops, not chain stores.

I managed to pick up quite a few deals;

  • Hockey helmet (looks like new) $5 (not expired either!)
  • 3 lanyards
  • Boys shirt
  • 1 Boys brand name sweater
  • Pants Boys BNWT
  • Shorts  Boys BNWT
  • 7 pair boys underwear (all new – tape still attached from packaging)
  • Lunch bag
  • PJs BNWT
  • 1 pair boys boxer shorts $11 for all.

$16 for all of this is a great deal.

The 7 pairs of boys underwear alone would cost that much.

The tag on the boys pants says $12.97, the PJs say $24.95 (I paid $2 for them).

I found the hockey helmet at a great time as Connor starts skating lessons in a few weeks.

His helmet from lacrosse last year won’t fit. We paid $30 for that helmet at a secondhand sports store.

The lanyards are for a family vacation we’ll be taking in March.

Thanks,

Jen 🙂

Frugal Recipe Find

If you have never tried Pasta Fagioli before put this recipe found at Valentina’s Corner on your next meal plan.

A frugal italian recipe made up of beans, meat, pasta and lots of vegetables and ready in 30 minutes.

Italian Pasta-Fagioli Recipe

Home and Blog Update

So much can happen in two weeks at our house that I thought I’d save space in the Saturday Weekend Review to share it with you.

It will either bore you to death or excite you to follow along what we do at the CBB house.

Blog Update

Not a whole heck of a lot has happened on the blog since my designer lives in Florida and was dealing with the hurricane aftermath, slow internet connection and now a family emergency.

I’m hoping she will be back in commission shortly so we can put the finishing touches on this blog to increase my blog income, ease of use for all CBB subscribers and a cleaner look.

I’ll keep you posted.

Home Update

We are winding down the summer fun at our house since our little guy is back to school but we do take him to weekly sports.

Our pepper plants have been pulled and cherry tomatoes are still giving us fruit so we are working on eating them up.

Last week we harvested our parsley, dried it and bagged it for use until next planting season.

We also blended some with garlic and olive oil and put the puree into the refrigerator to use for everyday recipes.

Funny thing, the parsley is grown back within a week with all the rain we’ve got so I might have to do another harvest.

drying parsley

In the kitchen, we’ve been experimenting with a few new keto recipes which will roll out on the blog in the next month or so.

Keep an eye out for those, in particular, Keto Pumpkin Spice Loaf and Keto Chocolate Fatso Bombs.

Keto pumpkin spice cake

As you may have noticed we don’t cook anything buy keto these days so that’s the type of recipes we will be posting.

Keep in mind many keto recipes are exactly the same as the classic just without the high amounts of carbs.

The great news is that Mrs. CBB is now weighing less than she did before she got pregnant. She’s a happy wife now.

I feel that when husband and wife feel healthy and are meeting their goals that life improves.

No one wants to be overweight so it’s important to respect each other’s desire to get fit. We are working on this together and I support her.

Have a great two weeks everyone.

Mr.CBB

Saturday Search Term Giggles

Every week I get tens of thousands of people who visit Canadian Budget Binder because they did a search online and found my blog.

Yes, I can see your search terms and sometimes they are funny.

  • Canning Code of Practice– Haha, You mean Scanning Code of Practice, not canning.
  • Best Groceries Canada– Oh, that’s a tough one as there are hundreds of thousands of groceries in Canada.
  • Why is Metro so expensive? – For the same reason name brand, is expensive, you pay for the name, service, and quality.
  • Telephone grocery store scams– Interesting, I might have to look into that one. Anyone out there heard of this?

If you see the acronym (SIC) next to a word that means I’ve copied the text exactly as it was typed in Google and it has spelling errors

That’s all for this week my friends, see you again in 2 weeks for the next Saturday Weekend Review!

Mr.CBB

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