Stop Being Envious And Start Believing In You
The definition of the word ‘envious’ to me means a person wishes they could have someone else’s success.
They may also take on a jealousy mindset and perhaps hatred towards what you’ve become.
These types of envious people simply need to find a path to reach their goals.
This also means training their brain to focus on themselves and not others.
The minute your friends Facebook status goes up and says they got a new job, bought a new house, a new car, or are in a new relationship,
- Do you get upset that it’s not you?
- Have you questioned why nothing good ever happens to you?
- Are you feeling jealous of other people’s success?
Don’t be upset about what’s not yours.
If you answered no I’d say you are telling a lie because every one of us has a tiny bit of envy towards something or someone.
What’s important here is how we handle that envy that creeps the back of our minds.
No one likes to feel as if they failed at life and that they have no other options only to accept what they have been given.
I think that we can do anything we want with this one life we are given if we find a way to make our dreams come true.
For those that face challenges even an improvised version of what could be is better than nothing.
- I’d rather sleep in a bed than on the streets is an example.
- I’d rather eat a hot meal at home rather than on the go in restaurants 7 days a week.
- I’d rather dress for success in thrift clothes and save money than blow it on pricey name brand clothes to please others and not myself.
Sometimes all you need is a positive boost from a friend or someone who believes in you and before you know it you will land your dream job.
Never give up on yourself.
I don’t think that just because someone is envious that it’s a bad thing especially if it motivating.
under someone’s butt to get the ball rolling in terms of their career or financial goals.
Too often people sit around and sulk about how life has not been the greatest for them yet they put all that negativity ahead of anything positive in their lives.
When we look at things that spark a bit of envy or jealousy in our lives and take that and work it into our own lives maybe we will be the next ones laughing all the way to the bank.
Envious people surround us
There will be jealousy all around us whether it’s envious friends, envious co-workers, or envious strangers that we’ve never met before.
They want what you might have but lack the desire to achieve it on their own or feel they can’t, have tried and failed then gave up.
I’m sure the list can be ongoing but none the less these people need to flip their attitude and work it into bringing in the success that makes them happy.
I’m pretty sure most of you have a friend you can call Money Bags because they seem to have an unlimited supply of cash.
Then one day you will catch them on one of Gail Vaz Oxlade’s television shows like Money Moron because all that showing off was done on credit they can’t pay it back.
What’s to be envious about having debt? Nothing.
You may even find jealousy in your relationships but that just means someone has to build up confidence in themselves and just trust love.
Envy in love is not a good place to be because money and love can cause problems if the two people in the relationship are not on the same page.
If the male believes he is unsuccessful or that he should be making more money than his partner it could cause problems.
If you are not happy with your career in the first place this may cause problems in a relationship because one is so focused on getting a job rather than the relationship.
Some people can’t be happy in love until they are happy in a career.
It’s just the way they are wired and sometimes letting go of these relationships might be the best thing for both of you unless you can weather the storm together.
Envious About Your Career
Being on the bottom of the ladder in an industry can be hard.
Everyone around you gets paid more and has more opportunities to advance their career or move on to another job.
This is the time to start learning past what you’re getting paid for and don’t let the envy under your skin.
It’s easy to come home at the end of the day and forget about work.
You could be moaning about how someone at work was bossing you around because they are higher up than you.
Get out there and improve yourself, take part-time courses if necessary.
Having envious thoughts against your neighbour because they have a better job than you can be a little harder to swallow.
If they are a trades-person they have served several years as an apprentice on the bottom of the ladder too.
They had to acquire skills over the years to get to where they are now.
A doctor or other highly skilled medical profession also takes years of education.
I’m sure some were envious of others at one point but put their skills to work.
That’s called perseverance.
Now they are reaping the rewards of a career they’ve always dreamed of.
A lot of people have good jobs or well-paying jobs because they listened, learned, and applied themselves to be the best at what they can be.
They sacrificed nights out drinking with their buddies to build something that you are now envious of.
This isn’t about being a skilled doctor, or lawyer, it’s about finding a suitable career.
Envious About Your Financial Success
I’ve written before about how you should never compare your financial numbers with other people’s numbers because you simply can’t do that.
For different reasons and opportunities, we all have accumulated wealth based on our savings ability, income levels, and our determination to be debt-free or not.
I’ve said a million times that “It’s not about how much money you make it’s how you save it” and it’s a saying that I created years ago and stand by fully.
I’ve pretty much littered this blog with my quote in hopes of getting through to people.
However, I’ve had some fans tell me that since starting a budget they understand what I mean now.
I know that when I was making a lower-income I was still saving money and paying off bills however I did not accumulate any debt.
We were still able to go out for walks and spend time together as a couple doing things that didn’t cost money or very little.
I guess thinking ahead of ourselves was a smart move when it came to marriage, buying a house, kids, and travelling.
If we wanted to do all of that we knew we needed the cash set aside.
As well if we blew all of our money now to live in the moment we 100% knew we’d struggle down the road.
However, if that’s the road you want to take, then so be it. It’s your life.
Taking a giant leap and putting things on credit means you are deciding to bring debt into your life.
You Need A Savings Mindset
You always need to think ahead for emergencies and not just live in the moment.
Saving the cash to pay for what you need is 100 times better than putting it on a credit card
The best of it is not everyone pays their credit card in full each month.
When cardholders see that minimum payment it sparkles and for some, that’s all they pay.
The other options are to save cash, buy second-hand or earn more money.
Perhaps a second or third job would benefit your monthly income.
If you have the mindset to impress everyone and have shiny new things with you buy on credit be ready to live with the debt you’ve created.
As well, if you don’t have that mindset then you can live with an older refrigerator, a used vehicle, and buying things that are essential as opposed to ‘wants’.
This has helped us to get where we want to be today, debt-free.
We never cared about what other people earn and never will because that doesn’t motivate us.
Making 6 figures doesn’t mean that you are worth more than the guy who makes minimum wage.
Think about that for a second.
It’s all about spending and saving.
Stop Complaining If You Aren’t Putting In Effort
If you don’t have the discipline to save and watch your spending DON’T complain about what others have in the bank.
You don’t need to have or can find alternate frugal ways for many of these;
- Cell Phone
- Junk Food or Convenience Store Snacks
- Fast Food
- Movie Nights
- Fancy Clothes
- Expensive Cars
- Expensive hair cuts and colours,
- Fake nails, posh pedicures (Do them yourself)
- Botox and other spa treatments that are not a need but just a want
- Travel destinations
- Tools and other non-useful gadgets that will collect dust
- and so on…
In many circumstances, people live on the poverty line or cannot work for personal reasons.
If you are capable of working then keep looking until someone says yes.
In the meantime increase your skills and abilities/education, volunteer, and continue to network.
Do whatever it takes and get rid of feeling sorry for yourself because almost no one will care if you don’t.
Those items above and many more are nice to have but only if you have the cash to pay for them.
Do you want to eat or do you want to watch Television?
This is why we choose to live a simple life however it took a while for us to understand the concept.
That is the motto we live by and although you may disagree, it’s your bank account in the end that matters to you, not me.
So go ahead and be envious of what other people have.
What I can tell you is that it won’t get you anywhere until you focus on your financial priorities.
Envious About Your Happiness
You don’t know everyone’s circumstances so this is very difficult to judge.
Besides, I would never even attempt to build my happiness on what others have or don’t have.
Happiness doesn’t mean you have money, flashy cars, trips, and the ability to shop whenever you want.
I know some people who have not a dollar saved in the bank but they are always happy and enjoying the simple things in life.
They are happy just to wake up in the morning.
Sometimes the more you have the more you want or think you need.
Consequently, some people have money and are miserable because money can’t buy you love or happiness.
Some people could have everything in the world yet be depressed and not even know why.
It depends on what you find as needs in your life that makes you happy.
For example, you could be helping others, achieving specific daily goals, or seeing people you love.
The only person that can make you happy is you.
Keep repeating that during times when you feel depressed or you need a boost of motivation.
Looking into others’ lives and creating the belief that they have date nights, family vacations and no financial worries are wrong.
Credit cards buy happiness for short periods and some people can hide being unhappy very well when debt is involved.
How not to be envious of other people’s success
If you find you are envious of someone else’s success the first thing you need to do is accept that you have that envy.
Second, you need to do something about that envy.
Find a way to make other people envy your drive and success if that challenges you to motivate yourself.
If you can fuel yourself from something that you view as a negative half the battle is won.
The Envious You And Things To Consider
Below are a few tips I would use if I was envious of someone’s success and needed to find a way to boost my own.
- Worry about your life/family first
- Set goals, realistic ones, and start achieving them
- Involve others in your happiness
- Get out make friends and spend time with family
- Smile, it really works to bring out the best in you
- Network with like-minded people
- Ask for help when you need it
- Get rid of that negative attitude
- Believe in yourself
- Never give up on your dreams
As you can see being envious of other’s successful life or what you believe is successful is your mindset.
You create what you want to believe therefore it can either set you back or motivate you.
It’s up to you to make your world the happiest as no one else will do that for you.
Be grateful for what you have and if you want more, well you know what you need to do…
Perhaps one day you might find people are envious of something you have that they don’t.
Maybe that one thing may be your smile.
Discussion: What other types of envy have you experienced in your life?
Leave me a comment below and I’ll respond.