Estimated reading time: 11 minutes
Being envious is about something or someone is not wrong until it takes over your life or how you think about that person.
Stop Being Envious And Start Believing In You
The definition of the word ‘envious’ to me means a person wishes they could have someone else’s success.
They may also take on a jealous mindset and perhaps hatred towards what you’ve become.
These envious people need to find a path to reach their goals.
This also means training their brain to focus on themselves and not others.
The minute your friend’s Facebook status goes up and says they got a new job, bought a new house, a new car, or are in a new relationship,
- Do you get upset that it’s not you?
- Have you questioned why nothing good ever happens to you?
- Are you feeling jealous of other people’s success?
Don’t be upset about what’s not yours.
If you answered no, I’d say you are telling a lie because every one of us has a tiny bit of envy toward something or someone.
What’s important here is how we handle that envy that creeps into the back of our minds.
No one likes to feel like they failed at life and have no other option but to accept what they have been given.
We can do anything we want with this one life we are given if we find a way to make our dreams come true.
For those that face challenges, even an improvised version of what could be is better than nothing.
- For example, I’d rather sleep in a bed than on the streets.
- I’d rather eat a hot meal at home rather than on the go in restaurants 7 days a week.
- I’d instead dress for success in thrift clothes and save money than blow it on pricey name-brand clothes to please others and not myself.
Sometimes all you need is a positive boost from a friend or someone who believes in you, and before you know it, you will land your dream job.
Never give up on yourself.
I don’t think that just because someone is envious that it’s a bad thing, especially if it is motivating.
under someone’s butt to get the ball rolling regarding their career or financial goals.
Too often, people sit around and sulk about how life has not been the greatest for them, yet they put all that negativity ahead of anything positive in their lives.
When we look at things that spark a bit of envy or jealousy in our lives and take that and work it into our own lives, maybe we will be the next ones laughing all the way to the bank.
Envious People Surround Us
There will be jealousy all around us, whether it’s envious friends, co-workers, or strangers we’ve never met before.
They want what you might have but lack the desire to achieve it on their own or feel they can’t, have tried and failed, then gave up.
I’m sure the list can be ongoing, but these people need to flip their attitude and work it into bringing in the success that makes them happy.
I’m pretty sure most of you have a friend you can call Money Bags because they seem to have an unlimited supply of cash.
Then one day, you will catch them on one of Gail Vaz Oxlade’s television shows like Money Moron because all that showing off was done on credit. They can’t pay it back.
What’s to be envious about having debt? Nothing.
You may even find jealousy in your relationships, which means someone must build up confidence and trust in love.
Envy in love is not a good place to be because money and love can cause problems if the two people in the relationship are not on the same page.
If the male believes he is unsuccessful or should be making more money than his partner, it could cause problems.
If you are unhappy with your career in the first place, this may cause problems in a relationship because one is so focused on getting a job rather than the relationship.
Some people can’t be happy in love until they are happy in a career.
It’s just how they are wired, and sometimes letting go of these relationships might be the best thing for both of you unless you can weather the storm together.
Envious About Your Career
Being on the bottom of the ladder in an industry can be hard.
Everyone around you gets paid more and has more opportunities to advance their career or move on to another job.
This is the time to start learning past what you’re getting paid for, and don’t let the envy under your skin.
It’s easy to come home at the end of the day and forget about work.
You could be moaning about how someone at work was bossing you around because they are higher up than you.
Get out there and improve yourself; take part-time courses if necessary.
Having envious thoughts against your neighbor because they have a better job than you can be harder to swallow.
If they are a tradesperson, they have also served several years as an apprentice on the bottom of the ladder.
They had to acquire skills over the years to get to where they are now.
A doctor or other highly skilled medical professional also takes years of education.
I’m sure some were envious of others at one point but put their skills to work.
That’s called perseverance.
Now they are reaping the rewards of a career they’ve always dreamed of.
Many people have good or well-paying jobs because they listen, learn, and apply themselves to be the best at what they can be.
They sacrificed nights out drinking with their buddies to build something you now envy.
This isn’t about being a skilled doctor or lawyer but finding a suitable career.
Envious About Your Financial Success
I’ve written before about never comparing your financial numbers with other people’s numbers because you can’t do that.
For different reasons and opportunities, we all have accumulated wealth based on our savings ability, income levels, and our determination to be debt-free.
I’ve said a million times that “It’s not about how much money you make, it’s how you save it,” and it’s a saying that I created years ago and stand by fully.
I’ve pretty much littered this blog with my quote to get through to people.
However, I’ve had some fans tell me that since starting a budget, they understand what I mean now.
I know that when I made a lower income, I was still saving money and paying off bills; however, I did not accumulate any debt.
We could still go out for walks and spend time together as a couple doing things that didn’t cost money or very little.
Thinking ahead of ourselves was a smart move regarding marriage, buying a house, having kids, and traveling.
We knew we needed the cash set aside if we wanted to do all of that.
If we blew all of our money now to live in the moment, we 100% knew we’d struggle down the road.
However, if that’s the road you want to take, so be it. It’s your life.
Taking a giant leap and putting things on credit means you are deciding to bring debt into your life.
You Need A Savings Mindset
You must always think ahead for emergencies and not just live in the moment.
Saving the cash to pay for what you need is 100 times better than putting it on credit.
The best is that not everyone pays their credit card in full monthly.
When cardholders see that minimum payment, it sparkles; for some, that’s all they pay.
The other options are to save cash, buy second-hand or earn more money.
Perhaps a second or third job would benefit your monthly income.
If you have the mindset to impress everyone and have shiny new things with you, buy on credit and be ready to live with the debt you’ve created.
If you don’t have that mindset, you can live with an older refrigerator or a used vehicle and buy essential things instead of ‘wants’.
This has helped us to get where we want to be today, debt-free.
We never care about what others earn and never will because that doesn’t motivate us.
Making 6 figures doesn’t mean you are worth more than the guy who makes minimum wage.
Think about that for a second.
It’s all about spending and saving.
Stop Complaining If You Aren’t Putting In Effort
If you don’t have the discipline to save and watch your spending, DON’T complain about what others have in the bank.
You don’t need to have or can find alternate frugal ways for many of these;
- Cell Phone
- Junk Food or Convenience Store Snacks
- Fast Food
- Movie Nights
- Fancy Clothes
- Expensive Cars
- Expensive hair cuts and colors,
- Fake nails, posh pedicures (Do them yourself)
- Botox and other spa treatments that are not a need but just a want
- Travel destinations
- Tools and other non-useful gadgets that will collect dust
- and so on…
In many circumstances, people live on the poverty line or cannot work for personal reasons.
If you can work, keep looking until someone says yes.
In the meantime, increase your skills and abilities/education, volunteer, and network.
Do whatever it takes and get rid of feeling sorry for yourself because almost no one will care if you don’t.
Those items above and many more are nice, but only if you can pay for them.
Do you want to eat, or do you want to watch Television?
This is why we choose to live a simple life. However, it took a while to understand the concept.
That is the motto we live by, and although you may disagree, your bank account matters to you, not me.
So go ahead and be envious of what other people have.
I can tell you that it won’t get you anywhere until you focus on your financial priorities.
Envious About Your Happiness
You don’t know everyone’s circumstances, so judging this is very difficult.
Besides, I would never even attempt to build my happiness on what others have or don’t have.
Happiness doesn’t mean you have money, flashy cars, trips, and the ability to shop whenever you want.
I know some people who have not a dollar saved in the bank but are always happy and enjoying the simple things in life.
They are happy to wake up in the morning.
Sometimes the more you have, the more you want or think you need.
Consequently, some people have money and are miserable because money can’t buy you love or happiness.
Some people could have everything in the world yet be depressed and not even know why.
It depends on what you need that makes you happy.
For example, you could be helping others, achieving specific daily goals, or seeing people you love.
The only person that can make you happy is you.
Keep repeating that during times when you feel depressed or need a boost of motivation.
Looking into others’ lives and creating the belief that they have date nights, family vacations, and no financial worries is wrong.
Credit cards buy short-term happiness; some people can hide unhappiness well when debt is involved.
How not to be envious of other people’s success
If you find you are envious of someone else’s success, you first need to accept that you have that envy.
Second, you need to do something about that envy.
Find a way to make others envy your drive and success if that challenges you to motivate yourself.
If you can fuel yourself from something you view as a negative half the battle is won.
The Envious You And Things To Consider
Below are a few tips I would use if I was envious of someone’s success and needed to find a way to boost my own.
- Worry about your life/family first.
- Set goals, realistic ones, and start achieving them
- Involve others in your happiness.
- Get out, make friends, and spend time with family.
- Smile, it works to bring out the best in you
- Network with like-minded people
- Ask for help when you need it
- Get rid of that negative attitude.
- Believe in yourself
- Never give up on your dreams
As you can see, being envious of other’s successful life or what you believe is successful is your mindset.
You create what you want to believe, which can either set you back or motivate you.
It’s up to you to make your world the happiest, as no one else will do that for you.
Be grateful for what you have, and if you want more, you know what you need to do…
Perhaps one day, you might find people are envious of something you have that they don’t.
Maybe that one thing may be your smile.
Discussion: What other types of envy have you experienced in your life?
Leave me a comment below, and I’ll respond.
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