The definition of the word ‘envious’ to me means that someone wishes they could have your success so they take on a mindset of jealousy and perhaps in stronger cases hatred towards what you’ve become.
The solution: These types of envious people simply need to find their own path to reach their goals even if that means training their brain to focus on themselves and not others.
The minute your friends Facebook status goes up and says they got a new job, bought a new house, a new car or are in a new relationship,
- Do you get upset that it’s not you?
- Do you question why nothing good ever happens to you?
- Are you feeling jealous of other people’s success?
Don’t be upset about what’s not yours but if you answered no I’d say you are telling a lie because every one of us a tiny bit of envy towards something or someone. What’s important here is how we handle that envy that creeps the back of our minds.
No one likes to feel as if they failed at life and that they have no other options only to accept what they have been given.
I think that we can do anything we want with this one life we are given if we find a way to make our dreams come true. For those that face challenges even an improvised version of what could be is better than nothing.
- I’d rather sleep in a bed than on the streets is an example.
- I’d rather eat a hot meal at home rather than on the go in restaurants 7 days a week.
- I’d rather dress for success in thrift clothes and save money then blow it on pricey name brand clothes to please others and not myself.
Sometimes all you need is a positive boost from a friend or someone who believes in you and before you know it you will land your dream job. Never give up on yourself.
I don’t think that just because someone is envious that it’s a bad thing. I should hope that with being envious of others success that someone challenges themselves to work harder.
Sometimes that’s what it takes to light a fire under someone’s butt to get the ball rolling in terms of their career or financial goals.
Too often people sit around and sulk about how life has not been the greatest for them yet they put all that negativity ahead of anything positive in their lives.
When we look at things that spark a bit of envoy or jealousy in our lives and take that and work it into our own lives maybe we will be the next ones laughing all the way to the bank.
Envious people surround us
There will be jealousy all around us whether it’s envious friends, envious co-workers or envious strangers that we’ve never met before.
They want what you might have but lack the desire to achieve it on their own or feel they can’t, have tried and failed then gave up.
I’m sure the list can be ongoing but none the less these people need to flip their attitude and work it into bringing in success that makes them happy.
I’m pretty sure most of you have a friend you can call Money Bags because they seem to have an unlimited supply of cash. Then one day you will catch them on one of Gail Vaz Oxlade’s television shows like Money Moron because all that showing off was done on credit they can’t pay back. What’s to be envious about having debt? Nothing.
You may even find jealousy in your relationships but that just means someone has to build up the confidence in themselves and just trust love. Envy in love is not a good place to be because money and love can cause problems if the two people in the relationship are not on the same page.
If the male believes he is unsuccessful or that he should be making more money than his partner it could cause problems. If you are not happy with your career in the first place this may cause problems in a relationship because one is so focused on getting a job rather than the relationship.
Some people can’t be happy in love until they are happy in career. It’s just the way they are wired and sometimes letting go of these relationships might be the best thing for both of you unless you can weather the storm together.
Envious about your Career
Being on the bottom of the ladder in an industry can be hard. Everyone around you gets paid more and has more opportunities to advance their career or move on to another job. This is the time to start learning past what you’re getting paid for and don’t let the envy under your skin.
It’s easy to come home at the end of the day and forget about work. You could be moaning about how someone at work was bossing you around because they are higher up than you. Get out there and improve yourself, take part-time courses if necessary.
Having envious thoughts against your neighbour because they have a better job than you can be a little harder to swallow. If they are a trades-person they have served several years as an apprentice on the bottom of the ladder too.
They had to acquire skills over the years to get to where they are now. A doctor or other highly skilled medical profession also takes years. I’m sure some of these people were envious of others at one point or another but put their skills to work and now they are reaping the rewards of a career they always dreamed of.
A lot of people have good jobs or well-paying jobs because they listened, learned and applied themselves to be the best at what they can be. They sacrificed nights out drinking with their buddies to build something that you are now envious of.
Envious about your Financial Success
I’ve written before about how you should never compare your financial numbers with others numbers because you simply can’t do that. For different reasons and opportunities we all have accumulated wealth based on our savings ability, income levels and our determination to be debt-free or not.
I’ve said it a million times that “it’s not about how much money you make it’s how you save it” and it’s a saying that I created years ago and stand by fully.
I’ve pretty much littered this blog with my quote in hopes of getting through to people and I’ve had some fans tell me that since starting a budget they understand what I mean now.
I know that when I was making a lower-income I was still saving money and paying off bills however I did not accumulate any debt.
We were still able to go out for walks and spend time together as a couple doing things that didn’t cost money or very little. I guess thinking ahead of ourselves was smart, marriage, house, kids, travel etc.
If we wanted to do all of that we knew we needed the cash set aside. If we blew all of our money now to live in the moment we 100% knew we’d struggle down the road. If that’s the road you want to take, then so be it. It’s your life.
If you make the decision to start putting things on credit then you are deciding to bring debt into your life.
If you can save cash to pay for what you need it is 100 times better than putting it on a credit card and paying minimum payments each month. The other options are to save cash and buy second-hand items.
If you have the mind-set that you need to impress everyone and have shiny new things and you don’t have the cash be ready to live with debts you need to pay off.
If you don’t have that mind-set like we have then you can live with an older refrigerator, a used vehicle and buying things that are essential as opposed to ‘wants’ in our lives. This has helped us to get where we want to be today, debt-free.
We never once cared what other people make because we know that just because you make 6 figures doesn’t mean that you are worth more than the guy who makes minimum wage. Think about it for a second.
It’s all about spending and saving. If you don’t have the discipline to save and watch your spending DON’T complain about what others have in the bank.
You don’t need TV, Internet, Junk Food, pop at the gas station, fast food, theatre nights, fancy clothes, hair styling, nails, booze, travel etc. In those rare circumstances there are people who live at the poverty line or below it or cannot work for one reason or another.
If you are fully capable of working then get out there and keep looking until someone says yes or find ways to get more education, volunteer, network even move if you have to. Do whatever it takes and get rid of feeling sorry for yourself because no one will care.
Those items above and many more are nice to have but only if you have the cash to pay for them while accomplishing your financial goals. That is what we live by but others may disagree and that’s fine, it’s your bank account in the end that maters to you not me.
So go ahead and be envious of what other people have but I’ll tell you that it won’t get you anywhere until you focus on your own financial goals and priorities.
Envious about your Happiness
You don’t know everyone’s circumstances so this is very difficult to judge and besides I would never even attempt to build my happiness on what others have or don’t have. Happiness doesn’t mean you have money.
I know some people who have not a penny to rub together but they are always happy and enjoying the simple things in life. They are happy just to wake up in the morning.
Sometimes the more you have the more you want or think you need. Then there are the people who have money and are miserable because just like the saying goes, “money can’t buy you love” or happiness.
Some people could have everything in the world yet be depressed. It depends on what you find that makes you happy. It could be helping others, achieving goals each day. The only person that can make you happy is you.
Looking into others’ lives and deciding that since they go out as a couple all the time or family vacations and believe they have no worries in the world is the wrong way to view people. Credit cards buy happiness for short periods of time and some people can hide being unhappy very well.
How not to be envious of other people’s success
If you find you are envious of someone else’s success the first thing you need to do is accept that you have that envy but then do something about it. Find a way to make other people envy your drive and success.
If you can fuel yourself from something that you view as a negative half the battle is won. Below are a few tips I would use if I was envious of someone’s success and needed to find a way to boost my own.
- Worry about your own life first
- Set goals, realistic ones and start achieving them
- Involve others in your happiness
- Get out make friends and spend time with family
- Network with like-minded people
- Ask for help when you need it
- Get rid of that negative attitude
- Believe in yourself
- Never give up
As you can see being envious of others successful life or what you believe is successful is really all in your head. It’s up to you to make your world the happiest, best place it can be and no one else will do that for you.
Be grateful for what you have and if you want more, well you know what you need to do and maybe you might find people are envious of something you have that they don’t.
Discussion: What other types of envy have you experienced in your life? Leave me a comment below and I’ll respond.