Sometimes kids come up with the strangest requests when talking to their parents but when your child is begging you for attention you know that something must change.
Becoming a daddy to a little boy was something I never expected would happen because doctors said we had under a 1% chance of getting pregnant, but we did and my life has changed so much. Our lives have changed, but for the better because we have this amazing little guy in our lives who makes us smile every day.
When my wife was in the hospital I took care of our son day and night because of medications she was taking plus she was pumping breast milk around the clock as our son could not latch on because of an upper lip tie and tongue tie .
It was a long week in the hospital but in that week I bonded with our son experiencing love in a way I never thought was possible for a child. Those little hands, those big eyes and that smile captured me in a way I never thought possible. What was this love I was feeling? The love of a father that’s what was happening to me even though it scared me because I wasn’t sure if I could do it.
Feedings through a tube and bottle was my job as well giving our boy a daily bath and changing his diapers. Being a daddy was a role that I was not prepared for because you can’t prepare for something you’ve never experienced apart from reading about it. All I knew was that I was going to need coffee more than I had ever needed it before in my life. I was forming a new relationship with my boy and coffee.
Parenting is tough stuff and we weren’t even out of the hospital yet.
Almost 2 years later and our son wears out the word daddy on a daily basis. I can’t get him away from me to do anything and most days I have to hide or duck out so he doesn’t see me because he freaks out when I leave him. He loves his daddy very much and his actions confirm this beyond a reasonable doubt.
Since my wife is a stay at home mom she is with our son every day which means he’s probably bored of her (joking… off to the corner I go) so when I come home its daddy all the way from the spot he starts in until he’s in my arms. It breaks my heart most days because I wish I could be home with them both to spend more time, but I can’t at the moment. Well, I do have an option…I quit one job but that means I give up an excellent career that can take me into the golden years with an awesome pension plan.
When I came home from work tonight he had a meltdown on the kitchen floor because I wanted to eat my dinner but he wanted me to hold him. It’s getting increasingly difficult but I know this is a phase that will pass. I’m sure I”ll look back one day and wish he would jump in my arms and scream daddy all day so I’m embracing each moment as it comes.
While scrolling through Facebook I found this heart-warming story that I posted below about a son and father that I felt compelled to share with all of you. You may have read it before but if haven’t it should tug on your heart-strings a bit. The son asks his father how much money he makes an hour and where it leads from there made me realize that the sooner I can get back to working one job the better it will be for my family.
This is what I said on Facebook after coming home from a long day at work yesterday…
CanadianBudgetBinder My son is glued to me…he won’t leave me alone!! He screams daddy from the moment I walk in and if I put him down he screams… uh.
Beth Anne Enjoy the moment. Time flies by so quickly. Blink and he’ll be a monosyllabic teenager too cool for hugs and affection.Christine W- He misses you while you are working.
CanadianBudgetBinder I thought he would be like this with the wife not me.CanadianBudgetBinder Yes that’s what I think it is. I’m gone so much when I come home he busts out of wherever he is and it’s non-stop daddy until we go to bed.Christine W- I remember looking after the grandson when he was that age and hisMom came home. He sure would run for the door. Dad isn’t exactly in the picture. Good to hear he is doing better!Donna P- Enjoy ! You will wish for these days when he’s slamming doors & doesn’t want to come out of his room.
I’ll let you read it for yourself… some of you may need a tissue if it hits close to home or is a memory of your past.
How much do you make an hour daddy?
SON: “Daddy, may I ask you a question?”
DAD: “Yeah sure, what is it?”
SON: “Daddy, how much do you make an hour?”
DAD: “That’s really none of your business. Why do you ask?”
SON: “I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?”
DAD: “If you must know, I make $100 an hour.”
SON: “Oh. (With his head down).
SON: “Daddy, can I please borrow $50?”
DAD: “REALLY?! If you’re asking to borrow money for some silly toy or game, you can just march yourself straight to your room to think about why you’re being so selfish. I work hard everyday to provide for this family, and this is the thanks I get?”
The little boy went quietly to his room and shut the door.
The dad sat down and started getting even angrier about his son’s questions. “How dare he ask question like that just to get some money?” he stewed.
After an hour, the dad calmed down, and started to think: “Maybe there was something he really needed the $50 for? He doesn’t ask for money often…”
So, the dad went to his son’s door and opened it.
DAD: “Are you asleep, son?”
SON: “No daddy, I’m awake”.
DAD: “I’ve been thinking, and maybe I was too hard on you earlier. It’s been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. Here’s the $50 you asked for.”
The little boy sat straight up, smiling.
SON: “Oh, thank you daddy!”
Then, reaching under his pillow, the boy pulled out some crumpled-up dollar bills. When the dad saw the boy already had money, he started getting angry again as the little boy slowly counted out his money and looked up at his father.
DAD: “Why do you want more money if you already have some?”
SON: “Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do. Daddy, I have $100 now. Can I buy an hour of your time? Please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you.”
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little son, and begged for his forgiveness through a stream of tears.
Just a reminder to all who are work so hard in life to not let time slip through our fingers without dedicating special time with those who matter most.
If we die tomorrow, the company we may work for could replace us in a matter of days…. but, loved ones we leave behind will feel the loss for the rest of their lives, having only precious memories to hold.
Source: Tara Paustenbach/Facebook
Paying debt and frugal living
We paid our mortgage off in 5 years and thankfully our son wasn’t around then because we both worked quite a bit to make that happen. Living a frugal lifestyle is something we still do today because the bills need to be paid but what we don’t need to do is work as hard as we used to because we’ve since learned that there is no race to the end just a smart journey.
I know that some people don’t have this option but it’s amazing how a parent’s absence can affect a child. I’m not sure if every child goes wild for their parents when they are away from each other for the day but one thing is for certain, I don’t want to miss any time with my son growing up if I don’t have to.
Learn the art of saying, NO!
If your employer is begging you to work over-time and you have a family at home consider how the overtime hours will affect you first, your family and then your debt. Unfortunately one of my jobs requires me to stay if an emergency comes up and I’m the only one the floor to handle the situation. Some careers are very demanding so if you’re able to balance work-life and family life like a pro you’ve got it made but it’s not that easy.
It’s nice to be able to work day and night and get all the hours you can to earn cash but not when you are compromising other aspects of your life. Sometimes it’s better to tell yourself that you’ll take a bit longer to pay off a debt rather than miss out on years of your children growing up and risking your relationship with your partner. For richer or poorer.
Divorce does happen because of money and it’s not always about the husband or wife spending too much money it’s also about being away from home too long that kills a relationship. You end up with one partner who is bored and another who is excessively tired all the time. It may seem easy at the start but unless you’ve got a strong will and are able to hold on strong things could crumble.
In our minds we think that everything will be fine as long as the kids are being looked after and our spouse has everything he/she needs financially. That saying, “Money can’t buy love” is true.
Kids who have parents who go off to fight for our country understand missing a parent, those who have lost a parent understand and parents who jet around the world or are gone for days and weeks at a time for a busy career understand. That’s what we believe but that’s not always the case. Deep down your child misses you and wants you home. It’s even a tougher battle if a parent(s) aren’t ever coming home again.
Money and success isn’t everything when your family is not happy.
If you have no choice and you feel it is affecting aspects of your life try looking for a new job or asking your employer to switch hours or cut back on working more than one job if you can financially handle it. If your career is in a phase like mine where I’m working 7 days a week just to get to the finish line then open lines of communication with your family. Family time is VERY important. Making extra money is nice but not at the expense of your well-being and family life.
Do yourself a favour and weigh the options of working too much, talk to your partner and chat to your kids to let them know you love them more than anything in this world. Explain to them why you are doing what you are doing if you are unable to change your career path.
When kids are very young like our toddler they don’t understand at all and it’s makes parenting even more challenging. I don’t want my son to ask me if he can pay me my hourly wage to book an appointment to spend time with me. It’s not fair for them nor for us as parents.
Sometimes we just have to tell money to “stick it” because family is more important. Our son is always going to call me daddy but I’m not going to live forever so while I’m alive and healthy I want to make sure he knows that his time with me is special and not part of an agenda.
Were you ever in a position where you were away from your kids often for work? Were your parents away from home often while you were home alone or with a babysitter? How did that affect you? What tips can you offer to those parents who are looking for advice like myself?
Please consider leaving a comment at the end of this blog post.
(daddy in training)
CBB Week At A Glance
This week has been very busy so I’ve stayed late at work to get paperwork done and submitted before I fall behind. Although I’d love to come home I know I just won’t get anything done with our son wanting my attention.
Our son has been very ill this week with his first dry cough and there’s not much in the form of over-the-counter medication to help him being under 2 years of age. We ended up buying a product called Helixa Cough Prospan which seems to be working. At first he didn’t want to take it but now he sits calmly and takes the medication. Either he realizes it’s helping him or he’s just getting used to the process.
He did get the flu shot but that still doesn’t mean he won’t get sick so we’re working on getting him better. I’m sure we will go through many illnesses as he grows up and although each one is very scary it’s a part of parenting that we must stay strong for. He depends on us. Over the past few days he’s sipped plenty of fluids and the odd bit of yogurt and applesauce. Food is nothing he really cares for right now but I’m sure that will all change once he feels better.
Income tax time is here so that’s another thing I need to add to the agenda. Don’t forget to check out the post below where I share with you the FREE alternatives to do your income tax return. Don’t pay someone to do it if you don’t have to. I don’t.
That’s all for this week…. Cyah!
Awesome posts published this week
Just in case you’ve missed any of my blog posts this week I will share them all below. If you are looking for past Saturday Weekend Review posts scroll down to the bottom of this post where I will list up to 5 previous weeks for you to read.
If you have a question that you would like to ask Mr.CBB fill out the Contact Mr.CBB form on the blog home page and I’ll do my best to reply to each one. If you want to share a story via a Fan Question please ensure that there is minimum 500 words and lots of details…we love details! I’m more than happy to chat via email to bring your story to life.
New: If your story submission gets chosen and published you will be entered into a yearly draw for a $25 Gift Card or $25 CDN via PayPal if you are from the USA.
Right now CBB is posting Tuesday (Grocery Game Challenge), Thursday (Personal Finance Post), Saturday (Personal Finance and Weekly Wrap-Up and a Frugal Recipe on Sunday!
- How to make money today to save it for tomorrow without going bonkers- January 2016 Net Worth Update
- 10 Smart ways to trim daily expenses from travel food
- Sugar-Free Chocolate Peanut Butter Squares (Low Carb)
Popular Post this week: A must-read > How much should my grocery budget be?
Submit your Deal or Brag:
Saving money while grocery shopping is essential in the CBB family and that’s why we share our grocery shops every week in The Grocery Game Challenge .
Join the Budget Brag Challenge 2016 and WIN!!!
What I love the most is when my fans share their amazing shops with me whether it be groceries or other deals they find at a garage sale, online or freebies! In 2016 if you send your Budget Brag you will automatically get entered into a yearly draw for a surprise gift card.
If your Budget Brag gets chosen you get an extra ballot! So start sending in your brags with a photo and write-up telling me about your deals. If you are from the USA and win I will PayPal you the money in CDN dollars. Open to Canada and USA only.
If you have a brag that you want me to share email me at canadianbudgetbinder@yahoo.(ca) < remove brackets) or fill out my contact form by Friday each week to have your brag considered for the Saturday post.
Hi Mr.CBB and Fans,
This month has been great for me in the way of rewards from Nielsen Home Scan. Not only do I have all my points I gain from scanning all my produce and products I buy and the surveys I take, now I have the opportunity to be involved with their week-long diary which pays very well.
I get a prepaid visa to the amount of $45 if I complete the full survey for a week with my whole family. I also got invited to do a mobile phone survey too. On top of all this, within the Nielsen group I can become involved in their opinion panelist discussion group which I am really looking forward to doing.
I recently was invited by another survey company to participate in a discussion group at Christmas. These pay really well with honorariums. If you remember this time last year was when I won my 44″ TV too. With Nielsen it certainly pays to be with them.
If you want to sign up your family don’t wait>>> getting involved is easy but you have to fill out the Nielsen Homescan forms to see if you qualify for the scanner.
You can also read more about Nielsen Homescan in the article I wrote last year which details about the program and why you should get involved.
Making A Difference (MAD)
Welcome to the 2016 Making A Difference series!
If you are a personal finance blogger (anywhere around the world) and would like your blog to be MAD featured simply drop me an email and I’ll explain the process to you. I’m currently booking for March 2016!
This is my way of giving back to the personal finance community through networking and sharing knowledge with my fans. Today it is my pleasure to share with you the blog, Formative Fortunes.
Thank you, Mr. Canadian Budget Binder for featuring me! This is a great opportunity!
I created a blog Formative Fortunes, my blog is like many of the other personal finance blogs; I try to give good tips, talk about my own finances and most of all try to learn a thing or two myself.
I started this blog after I became hooked on a few others, I saw how this journey was changing their own financial lives and I thought well maybe it will change mine too.
I’m only 18 and I am a freshman in college, so keeping up with the blog is definitely a struggle because of all the school work, sports (Ice Hockey) and right now I am pledging a fraternity. Reading all these PF blogs and starting one at a young age has definitely put me ahead of all my peers. I have gotten to learn so much about saving/investing/hustling and I figure I want to share what I know too.
I definitely am trying to come up with some new ideas/series to feature on my blog. I did start my first original series “Financial Quote of the Month” where I find an insightful financially related quote from the past and analyze it and put my spin on it. Also I post my net worth monthly and break it down to see what has either increased or decreased, I always find it interesting to see how mine and others net worth’s will grow and fall.
Make sure to come check out my blog, Formative Fortunes, thanks for checking me out!
Food and grocery shopping is a BIG part of CBB because food is a large part of the budget which people struggle the most with. If you are someone who would rather buy convenience meals or products consider cooking homemade meals or baking from scratch. Not only will you save money but you will be proud of what you’ve accomplished and you’ll see that from the smiles on those you feed.
For the past 2 years I’ve had a second Facebook page called The Free Recipe Depot where I exclusively share recipes from Food Bloggers around the world. I also share recipes on the blog on Sunday either made by home cook and mom Nicola Don or myself.
This week our Top Recipe Pick goes to a blog called, Hungry Happenings where Beth who is a chocolatier, recipe developer and party planner came up with these Deviled Easter Bunny Feet which are just brilliant. They would be great to bring to a potluck or to share with the family.
Top DIY Project
Lisa a blogger over at Wine and Glue shared this simple to make Easter Egg Wreath that would look great on any door. I think we may do this with our son.
We also will be colouring Easter Eggs this year and putting together a mini chocolate egg hunt because he loves chocolate.
It’s fun being a parent especially when you get to live out those years when you were a child. Right now we are working on teaching our son how to colour on paper and not the walls and floors but his creative side is coming out in small batches.
Every week I will pick a blog post of the week from around the web that I found interesting and want to share with all of you. Please head on over and give the post a read and let them know that Mr. CBB sent you if you comment. Thanks.
Editor’s pick (That’s me Mr.CBB) this week goes to Tom Drake over at Canadian Finance Blog for sharing all the FREE alternatives to use for your Income Tax Return in Canada. It’s not necessary to spend money to do your taxes especially if you know how to complete your own income tax return.
How readers find CBB
Every week I get thousands of people visit Canadian Budget Binder because they did a search online and found my blog. Any spelling errors below are because I share with you the exact way they typed their search engine query to land on my blog. Some of them are serious and others are meant to have a laugh.
- Best way to make money in Canada- Get a job!
- Can you use Shoppers Optimum Points to buy gift cards?- Nope
- How long does it take to buy a bank foreclosed in Canada? – Wow you must have some serious cash if you want to buy a bank. I’ve never heard of a bank going bankrupt…haha!
- Top Parking lot scams- Let me guess, you want to find the right fit for your extra income scam.
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- The Saturday Weekend Review #155: Do Customers Expect Too Many Freebies from Businesses?
- The Saturday Weekend Review #156: My Neighbour Made Me Richer Over One Beer
- The Saturday Weekend Review #157: Sexy Photo Fun Could End Up A Nightmare of Revenge Porn
- The Saturday Weekend Review #158: Travelling Tips You’ll Want To Review before Boarding
- The Saturday Weekend Review #159: Family Day Fun In Our House Goes Like This