THE BIGGEST FIGHT OF YOUR LIFE IS TO BE UNDERSTOOD
An important part of a mindset is to make sure that it’s not set in stone. We change, people change and life changes. It’s never good to stick your foot in the mud and live by everything you learned growing up.
Your personality and beliefs don’t need to be that of your parents. This is part of becoming an adult although some people struggle to find their purpose. As we age we need to set our own foundation whether we come from money or not.
If your father was a miserable man who only complained about what he didn’t have and everyone else had but did nothing about doesn’t mean you need to do the same. It’s safe to say that we learn from what we see and do and are taught from our parents. Not everyone wants to pursue those lessons as they get older but many stay in the same slump without action.
I don’t understand. No one understands me. I just want you someone to listen.
Most often people won’t understand why you do what you do and even if you have an explanation they don’t care to listen. This boils down to ideals and whether someone wants to learn more about what someone else has to say. When people make their minds up about what you say or do there is no turning back and you know what, that’s fine.
You can’t please everyone. You never will.
What is a mindset?
In a fixed mindset, people believe their basic qualities, like their intelligence or talent, are simply fixed traits. They spend their time documenting their intelligence or talent instead of developing them. They also believe that talent alone creates success—without effort. They’re wrong.- Mindset
Taking on a finance blog is a tough topic because expectations are that everything is painted with roses when in fact it is more about taking off the rose-coloured glasses. It takes work and lots of it to become successful, smart and the doer that takes risks with actionable moves. This person becomes a support system for themselves and others.
So often important finance topics are shoved under the carpet instead of chewed over or they are automatically judged by people who simply don’t understand the message you are trying to convey. This is a fixed mindset.
Who’s bullying who? Nobody. We just want to talk about it.
The Mindset of a Miserable Person
Their mind is made up, door is closed and the business has shut-down for good.
One of my roles as chief writer of this blog is to understand all aspects of finance from low to high income and different social situations. I will even venture into territory that sparks outrage not because I want it but because it’s important to talk about what needs to be clarified and understood by those who do not. This is merely from a financial point of view as it could take on many topics that would garner attention such as politics and religion.
Recently I received an email from a wife who wants to get their finances in order because they risk losing their house. Her husband doesn’t want to budget nor learn anything about how to fix the problem. They may end up on the streets losing everything they own. All she wants is for her husband to listen and to be understood. He is the sixth person on my list. Why? I have no idea only he can tell us that but I’m sure his wife wants to understand as well.
What should happen? Even if he doesn’t believe there is a way out financially there are other options which need to be discussed. He is essentially putting the burden on his partner which she resents. She believes they can work something out by using a budget and talking about their finances. This relationship is possibly doomed as is their financial outlook if they don’t try to understand each other.
In a word full of people this is how we should be taking charge of situations that are important to us whether it be financial, relationships, government, politics etc.
I believe there are six types of people in this world all with a different mindset based on experience.
- The Watcher
- The Listener
- The Doer
- The Risk Taker
- The WLDR (all the above)
- The I Don’t Give A Crap Miserable Person who finds negativity and judgement in everything instead of watching, listening and doing. The world is against them, the government is against them and nothing they want is going to happen so their life will never change. <<< This is one tough person to deal with.
It’s easier for the sixth person to jump to conclusions based on what they think rather than using common sense to see the perspective of others. People want to be heard but if you are only going to be unhappy about everything no one wants to listen. Even if they did listen it would add no value to their life apart from possibly helping someone ventilate.
The watcher is someone who is not sure if they want to do or say something so they sit back and see what everyone else is doing. This person understands simply by creating a notion in his/her head based on surroundings and actions of others.
The listener keeps themselves busy but from time to time listens to what is going on even if he/she is unavailable. The listener genuinely wants to understand but doesn’t necessarily mean they will do or risk anything.
The doer wants to get things done and sometimes they jump in too fast only to get burnt but what’s important is that they are doing something. It’s important for the doer to watch and listen first or deal with the consequences of their actions.
The Risk Taker
The risk taker knows that they might fail but also understands that if they make a move they could surpass all personal expectations. This should be cautioned and never taken lightly without first understanding what you are doing and the consequences.
This person is a combination of all the above and where I like to seat myself. Personally I’ve always been a people-watcher. I would never take charge or feel the need to be a leader so watching and copying was easy for me. When I started blogging I realized that our world is bigger than we think and everyone has a story.
I became a super-sonic listener (not in a weirdo creepy way either). By watching and listening I was able to somewhat understand what was going on. The critical parts of my life now is becoming the doer and the risk-taker. These are two aspects of life that people scare away from because it may bring rejection and failure.
The ironic part is the only way we will become successful is to learn from failure provided we don’t do it often. There has to be some sort of improvement which builds our immunity to falling down often. You most certainly won’t become a WDLR overnight as it takes practice and a belief that you want to be a better person and to understand others and yourself.
There is nothing you can do to change their minds. Don’t waste your time. Sometimes someone has to fall hard to understand themselves. Avoid being this person on all levels but remember if you find that you fit this category and want to make changes start slow and change you first.
Change Your Mindset, Improve Your Life
To understand is critical but to do nothing but complain means you aren’t part of the solution just a nuisance to everyone around you. Blame shifting is a rigid response as is judgement without facts.
If you want a solid base to step on treat your day as if it is a business day. Sometimes you may need to take risks to become successful or reach goals that seem out of your league. The most important part is that you are doing something and even if you fail you learn from your mistakes.
This is what makes a professional a professional. I once read a quote that said a sailor does not understand the sea if it’s always calm. There will always be bumps in whatever we do in life but working to understand what someone else is trying to communicate is important to self-growth.
It is only the misinformed that pack themselves into a corner especially when they believe that others have never walked in their shoes before. If you ever feel the need to lash out at someone ask yourself why it is affecting you and what the motive is behind your anger. Anger does not build strength it tears it down.
Risk: It is part of life only if you leap
This motivational post comes to you today by Mr.CBB because I took on a bold move yesterday and walked away from it happy because I attempted to take time to understand a skewed topic. I posted a viral meme (not mine) on Facebook and I wanted to understand why there was such a divide between the middle class and welfare recipients.
There is much hatred but there are also people who want to understand but can’t because they have never walked in others shoes whether poor or rich. The most important thing they can do is to understand each other rather than generalize.
I’m amazed at the pleasant responses and many readers who shared stories about their personal situations. This is important. I did not judge but boy did I get an earful which is what helps me grow as a finance writer, even if I piss people off. No, you can’t please anyone but to help 20 people and upset a few I think you’re on the right track.
Note: I found the original owner of the meme which is the located on the side of the photo. After reading about 100 comments of over 31,000 I realized that I got more shit then the original poster who created it did. Best of it is I have worked hard for 6 years to help those in need. I only had good intentions to understand. What I wanted to discuss clearly wasn’t coming across the way I had liked.
The only way to stop the hate comments was to delete the post from Facebook. I was hoping for a better understanding as to why there is such a divide and clearly there is but no one wants to discuss why there is this belief that welfare recipients get it better or whatever the meme was intended to portray.
I hope for the other thousands of shares on Facebook that you all stand up for the hatred instead of trying to hide it because nothing ever comes of sweeping stuff under the rug.
Be a good part of you and don’t let people scare you away from reaching your goals.
I don’t understand every financial story but I sure as hell want to learn.
Discussion: How do you handle when people don’t want to listen to what you have to say and judge you based on what they believe they think they know? >>> Don’t judge my huge run-on sentence either! 🙂
Have a great day friends.
If you have a finance story you’d like to share with the CBB readers to help them understand what your financial life is like I want to hear about it. Send me an email firstname.lastname@example.org
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