The Saturday Weekend Review : Put On Something Sexy…

Weekend Review

I just had to touch on this article I read about a child who won a book called “Put on Something Sexy” in his grade 8 sexual health class. Apparently it’s cartoon based book and when you flip the pages you see the couple getting it on (having sex) and the woman putting a condom on the man. A Nanaimo, B.C. mom says she was “disgusted” when her grade 8 son brought this flip book home from school. An organization Aids Vancouver Island said “they had material on tables the kids could pick up if they wish” during sexual education. One of the pamphlets was about oral sex and how to perform it and was quickly removed. So the school apologizes, writes a letter to the parents and will make sure all material is reviewed in the future, bla bla.. you can read the entire story at Huffington post Canada.

So the boy is in grade 8 and I’m sure by now he realizes he has something special going on down there. I’m also pretty sure he’s not stupid and knows what to do with it. The TV is plastered with sex, music videos depict sex, video game, movies, magazines, internet and heck, kids talk. I’m sure I’m missing something out here, oh ya, kids this age are HAVING SEX. I’m sure the mom means well and loves her kid but the reality is he’s got something going on down there and kids need to learn about it, the truth. I also believe if sexual education is being taught in the school parents should be aware although not all parents will agree to the content, you will never please them all.  I’m sure the parents could pull the student from the class if they disagree.

Sex

Photo Credit 123RF

I wonder if some parents believe little Johnny or Princess Sara are always good kids, meaning that their own kids would never consider having sex at a younger age. Come on, granted I wasn’t out jumping into bed having sex at a young age but they are doing it more than ever today. We didn’t have the luxury of the internet when we were growing in the 80′s or sexual, violent video games, we had Donkey Kong, Mario Brothers and Pac-Man but the same was still happening all around us. Kids continue walking about with backpacks full of booze on the weekends, having sex in the woods, friends houses when the parents aren’t around, smoking, doing drugs. How about the, “I’m going to Jenny’s to study” excuse.

Teens even get to watch a television program on MTV called 16 and pregnant to learn more about what life is all about being a teen mom or dad. Age  13 and 14 is not too far from 16. Don’t pick on the kids that might not come from well to do families either, it has nothing to do with it. If kids are going to do it, they will do it, wealth, religion, money, power, strict parenting, education status (straight A student) has nothing to do with it. Most often it’s peer pressure and the act of who’s popular or not, the jocks (whatever they are called today)… it’s all the same. Who will shoulder the burden of responsibility when a child becomes pregnant? The costs, I don’t need to tell you, you’re likely a parent or smart enough to know that already. It can turn a family’s finances upside down. Not every child will be this way but even the best of parents have struggled and don’t know what to do.

Oh My What’s That?

If we continue to pretend that kids don’t know what’s going on when mom and dad close the bedroom door we are sadly mistaken. If you don’t want to have your child come home and say they are pregnant, got someone pregnant, have a disease or whatever the case, teach them. Maybe a good time would be as soon as they are able to make babies and hormones start raging. If  kids want to hide, they will hide and they may go as far as to tell lies whatever it takes to hang out with their friends. Even parents who go to great lengths to teach their kids about sex and protect them find there is only so much you can do short from not allowing them to hang out with friends. I know you want to trust your kids as we would but not all kids like to talk about their feelings, what’s happening inside their body, what boy or girl makes them feel fluttery… with errm…. mom and dad.

We all want to think our little Johnny and Princess Sara are the best kids ever but in actuality you might not know everything that goes on in their lives. I don’t expect everyone to agree or disagree here, really it’s your children, not mine just an interesting article I read. Teaching abstinence is a must but not educating kids about what really happens even though they can figure it out on their own might not be the best route especially when they hit their teens. You know the “explore” stage of life.

Sex Ed In The 80′s

My wife remembers being taught about sex in school when she was around 12-13 but says she already knew and not from experimenting with sex or her parents but from everything around her, magazines, TV programs, friends having sex from a young age of 11, 12 , music etc and you know what, she survived it. She’s happy she was taught about it in school because not all parents are comfortable talking about it and for some parents I’m sure they are happy that the education system is taking the burden from them. In some cultures there is no talking it’s just unspoken word, no sex until marriage, full-stop.

I’ve had my fair share of friends that got pregnant very young and wish they would have not been having sex or used a condom or birth control methods but you know what, what’s done is done. The more education we give to the kids the better prepared they are to make the decision that could potentially change their life. Every parent will have their ideal “age” that they think is appropriate and that’s fine, but be realistic. I made it through knowing about sex and I still don’t have any kids but I speak from my experience as a child and what I believe would have benefited me then. I think we jump to conclusions too fast thinking that if our kids know about sex they will run out and jump into bed with someone. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t but at least they will know how to put on a condom, take a birth control pill or better yet, think twice and say NO, I don’t want to have sex now I want to wait.

  • Do you think the booklet was wrong? What is age is age appropriate to learn about sex?
  • How did you learn about sex when you were young?
  • Did you know people at your school that were having sex at a young age?
  • How about now? Do you teach your kids about sex? What do you do? How do you explain it to them?
  • Should the education system standardize age appropriate material to be taught each year and how much should a child know by age 13 before they head to high school?

What’s Been Happening at Canadian Budget Binder?

I’ve been super busy with the blog mainly trying to fix broken links from blogs that have moved and broken links from images I used. Just for kicks and giggles I ran a broken link check which I had no idea I could do and found out most of the image links I used broke along with many others. I contacted the company by phone and the manager emailed me a proper credit line to use which didn’t involve a link but also said I didn’t need to credit free stock from them anyhow.

Needless to say I will have my work cut out for me repairing that mess. I’m grateful however that I create some of my own tacky photos in power-point or just take my own photos with a camera. It was a silly error I made not checking the links but now I am going to do that before I publish any posts. New Blogger mistakes, ah well, live and learn I guess. I’m also going to refrain from referencing by link any sites where the owner does not own the domain.

  • How do you handle broken links?
  • How often do you check and what is the best plugin to use?
  • Are there sites that you won’t link to?

Other than that I know I promised a brand new site back in 2012 but that has come to a stand still. I will update you more once I work out more details as I know many of you have emailed me or asked me on Facebook when the new reveal will happen. Other than that we broke the 4000 LIKES on Facebook which I am very happy about and to all my fans… you truly are amazing. Let’s see if we can hit our 2013 target of 5000 LIKES! Thanks for keeping my page going when I’m at work and not around, you truly exemplify what a true fan is all about, caring and sharing.  I contributed a post over at Newlyweds on a Budget on Friday so check out what I have to say about “Food Shopping On A Budget”.

Check Out This Weeks Canadian Budget Binder Blog Posts 
Canadian Budget Binder Mentions Around The Web

Thank you kindly for sharing my posts with your fans! If you added me and you are not on the list that means I forgot you or I just have no idea! Email me and let me know. 

Carnivals- I submitted to a couple this past week.

web search terms

What People Searched to Find Canadian Budget Binder:

Search terms really help me to understand what people are looking for at Canadian Budget Binder! Any typos below are simply how the person who searched typed it in search, or me ;-) Another week of thousands of searches but only a few good ones worth mentioning.

Top Pick: Rogers Professional Haggler- Now I’ve read it all. Is there a new profession of “haggler” that I don’t know about. I wonder how much it pays haha!

  • Word For New Beginning In Life- Ha, that’s right CANADIAN BUDGET BINDER LOL… TOOT!
  • Free “FULL SIZE” Samples- Wouldn’t be a SAMPLE if it was FULL SIZE now would it be.. wishful thinking although you may get the odd company give out free product coupons.
  • How to get into College if you are an Illegal Immigrant In Toronto?- Fill out the paperwork to become a Permanent Resident in Canada like I had to.
  • CBB Fishing-  I would love to go fishing!
  • The best thing about being three- .. never know there could be some brilliant 3-year-old out there doing research on his/her age group
  • Four Letter Word for Taxes and Money- Oh, I can think of one haha, love these searches!
  • 3 positive dollar store pregnancy tests- I’m gonna say.. pregnant.. final answer!

Quote-Budget and Money

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Mr. CBB
I’m from the UK and now a recent permanent resident in Canada. I bought my first house at the age of 21 after University then my second at the age of 24. I’ve always been fascinated with personal finance, savings, learning to make money and watch it grow while combating debts along the way. Canadian Budget Binder is a place where I get to share my experiences with personal finance and learn about yours along the way. I hope you stick around and check me out on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest where I am active on all social media sites. Cheers, Mr.CBB
Mr. CBB
Mr. CBB

Comments

  1. 1) I’m wearing sweatpants. I hope that counts as something sexy.
    2) you have the best searches coming into your site
    3)The best thing about being 3 is NAPS!

  2. I started talking to my step-daughter about sex when she was 9. Nothing much, just the basics. Year by year I expanded the conversation. Always asking if she had questions, and was honest about the answers. Some were a little harder to answer than the others! lol. She would ask me when a kid at school would come out with some term and I’d explain it, always age appropriate of course! We’d talk about it all! She’s now 32 and I feel is well educated.
    There’s a quote from the old tv show “Designing Women”, the characters name was Mary Jo. She said,it’s not about that fact my daughter or your son are having sex, but the question should they have to die for it. This was in response to a debate about condoms in the school, and whether it was right or wrong. I know I’ve horribly misworded it, but you get the idea.
    As parents (even us step parents), must put aside our discomfort and discuss this with our kids. It’s up to us to teach our kids right from wrong, and how to grow into well adjusted, educated adults. Too much, or too little information can be a dangerous thing.
    Just my 2 cents, wait, no more pennies, so just my nickle :)

    • Well said Lisa and although I’m not familiar with that program Designing Women it makes sense. I agree too much information may be too much like in this case “how to give oral sex” was not appropriate. No more pennies you are correct lol.. gonna miss that.. kids will ask what are cents and pennies lol..

  3. A couple of years ago my 13 yo brother told me “this year, I kiss, next year I’ll have sex”. And I am pretty sure he did. They start so soon… here in Guatemala everyone pretends nothing is going on, they are conservative on the surface, a couple doesn’t live together unless they are married, so everyone goes to love motels or at the back of the car, with no education, then the girl shows up pregnant at a last minute wedding and the families pretend they marry for love… depressing.

    About broken links I use broken link checker, it checks my site every 24 hours or so and works well, then have an extra check once in a while in google webmaster tools. I only link to… people I like!

  4. Melanie Funk says:

    Love the article and I have to agree that the best prevention is education. However, I will add that I don’t think the picture book is appropriate to be handed out by the school (to me it is too close to porn – would it really be different if this was a video of a couple having sex?). Children are surrounded by sex on tv, video games ect. but I believe that it is how we react to these exposures that teach our children what is or is not ok. There are many ways to teach our children about sex – but the best is by having open dialogue. By removing the book she is telling her child that it was innapropriate for the school to provide him with that book. I have dealt with something similar with my son. I had to take away a game and explain why I didn’t think it was appropriate for him to be playing (grand theft auto) and what made it different from the other games (which seemed so much the same) that he was allowed to play… A long response, but its a hard line to follow.

    Mel

    • Thanks for your reponse. At what age do you feel it is appropriate to show what sex is and how to put a condom on?

      • Melanie Funk says:

        I believe we start when they are old enough to ask about their bodies and show them condoms as soon as they are showing signs of puberty. I’ve known enough girls who ended up pregnant way to young and had to raise their children as single parents. I don’t want my children to have to go through this. The real question is, how graphic was the book? There are major differences in content from one venue to another. Does a child need to see a couple having sex in order to practise safe sex? Perhaps, but I would want the content of something that powerfully visually stimulating to show more than just getting it on – something of respect for themselves and their partner. Sex is so much more than just sex, I hope that I succeed in teaching my sons that.

      • Melanie Funk says:

        I just wanted to add that I fully believe that it is up to the parent to monitor what the child is exposed to. Read and understand the ratings on movies, games ect. It is our responsibility, as the game and movie makers have already done their job by providing the ratings for us. Many parents will be angered by their children being exposed to sex, violence and other graphic content through these venues after they themselves have provided it to their children.
        What is provided by the school is a different matter and I should hope that they can be held accountable when the content excedes a certain level of graphic content. Is there some guidelines in place for this already or is this something that the school boards need to look into?

  5. Christine Weadick says:

    My kids usually did their homework at the kitchen table, especially my daughter. this would be while I was making supper and she would chatter away to beat the band. I had my back to her and the things I heard would curl your toes……….The same thing with helping me with the dishes, you are not face to face so somehow that works to hear things. I found out a few things about goings on at the high school here. Another way is with carpooling kids…. it’s like when you are behind the wheel or what ever you are not there. We would have conversations then too, not just about sex but the drug issue came up too. Conversations need to be age appropriate but they need to take place. Kids will absorb your values for good or bad.
    I still remember the time the local cops brought in the drug sniffing dogs (this was a fairly regular thing to happen) in the younger boys class. The dog sat down beside one kid and he had to empty his pockets right then and there. The only thing the kid had was an MP3 player so they were making jokes about illegal downloads. I brought up the fact that if this kid had been with some one that had been, say, smoking something they shouldn’t have been, the smell was likely on the kid’s clothes. Just like if you hang around some one that has been smoking tobacco your clothes will pick up that smell…….same with pot. That stopped him in his tracks and really got him thinking about it. I wasn’t confrontational, just stating the fact. Parents need to talk about these things with the kids but kids also learn by example, they are watching your every move. You can talk the talk all you want but if you don’t walk the walk at the same time they will know.
    Love the searches!!!! My chuckle for the week!!! No idea about the links thing on the computer….. sorry, that’s what I have kids for!!!! Lol!!!

    • I agree that parents should take a vested interest in what is happening at school and beyond with the kids. Sometimes just listening when they don’t think you are listening can bring up all sorts of things you didn’t know. Parents that are open will have kids that will come to them. If they feel sex is dirty or an NO NO topic they won’t come to their parents, why would they, they’d be too scared, at least I would have been if my parents were like that.

  6. I don’t think the booklet was wrong at all. I have taught my children about sex, but not STDs yet. I have a 5 year old son and two 9 year old girls. I had them watch a video about puberty and taught them where babies come from. My mother told me “where babies come from” at age 11 (after I started menstruating). By that time, I had been exposed to sex conversations at school and had seen pornographic images already. I heard about people having sex at school around age 12. I think that the education system should standardize age appropriate material and teach it each and every year. Whether parents want to accept it or not, sex is happening. My girls tell me that their classmates talk about sex all the time…they’re in 3rd grade. As a parent, I will continue to educate them at home so that they have the facts. I will teach them to have morals and standards and I will leave it up to them to make the best decisions.

    • Well I’m not that old and that’s pretty much went down when I was in elementary (primary) school and beyond and I turned out fine. NO sense keeping kids in the dark or assuming one is as they already know more than they let on. Thanks for sharing Dr.Sheba!!

  7. Wow, I’m probably opening up a can of worms here, but I believe sex ed should be taught by parents. It’s so important that we teach our kids that sex is not a bad thing, and that we are truthful about it, and that they hear it from their parents and not from TV or mags or the kids at school. So many families take no vested interest in what their kids are watching and reading and seeing and then are surprised when they’re having sex at 12. All parents are entitled to train their kids up in the way they see fit, but don’t be hypocritical. Don’t allow your kid to watch any and all on TV and movies and then be PO’d when the school does something like this. Kids are SO impressionable. If you allow them to watch R rated movies, they’re going to assume you’re ok with what’s going on in those movies. The goal should be not to hide things from them, but to teach them in an appropriate way at an age you feel your child can handle it. We taught our kids before 10 about sex, but we also teach them of the importance of abstinence (which we believe as we follow Biblical rules), and we also monitor closely what they watch, and we tell them why it’s important to choose what you see and read. All we can do is do our best in teaching them though. Ultimately, the decision will be up to them. I think the message here that’s most important is: take an active role in teaching your kids the values you want them to learn. Don’t just leave it all up to the schools.

    • I agree that parents should play a role but not all parents are good role models. Some parents grew up with parents that didn’t talk about and they don’t know how or there are issues that they haven’t or don’t know how to deal with. Maybe there is a course on “how to talk to your kids about sex” or personal counselling but reality is there are parents that are shy or don’t know what to do because the way they were taught. Some come from cultures where it’s just not spoken. Amazing how one chain of events can lead to another down the road, same with finances. Someone has to break it though so if a parent is shy maybe some sort of counselling on how to talk to their kids would help.What’s easy for one parent is a nightmare for another. Does it mean they aren’t good parents, not all all. It just means they themselves have to deal with issues they aren’t comfortable with. Cheers Laurie!!! Thanks for your input.. no can of worms.. :-)

    • kimateyesonthedollar says:

      I totally agree that it is the parent’s responsibility to teach kids from as early as they can understand. Saying things like, “You are too young” or “It’s wrong to have sex” just doesn’t cut it. Don’t make it such a taboo that your kid won’t ever want to talk to you. Of course that’s easy for me to say since my daughter is 5. Ask me in five more years, but I try to be very honest and open about male/female issues while keeping it age appropriate.

  8. I think parents are blind to the fact about what their kids are up to. No one wants to believe their kid could be having sex, especially at such a young age, but better to be educated to protect themselves from std’s and getting pregnant then pretend it’s not happening. My college roommate got drunk at a party at 14 and some guy took advantage of her and that was her first time. Now I look at 14 year olds and they look like babies, so I can understand how that would be hard for parents…but still.

    • I agree and If I had a child I already know they are exposed to it all around them whether I like it or not. If they are going to do it, they will do it. I’m not sure I have any mates who asked permission. Yet some of them ended up pregnant or getting a girl pregnant. It’s up to the parents what they do or don’t do but I know what I would do.

  9. Thank you for the link back! :)

  10. Getting rid of cable can help cleanse your home of the disease that is MTV/TLC/Bravo!/Everyotherchannel. Once you stop seeing advertisements for that garbage, you gain a clear head and you never want to go back to it!

  11. As crazy as this sounds…next to my college diplomas…I have framed….a little certificate that says…8th Grade Award for Excellence in Sex Ed. Yes…that was me. My crowing achievement in life.

  12. While I believe that kids should be taught about sex and sexual safety, I think that the flip book was not appropriate. While I haven’t seen it myself, I probably would not like to see it given the chance. We had a sex ed class in school where we learned about the diseases and that’s aobut it. I knew of a few girls in my highschool who got pregnant there. They then dissapeared off to live in shame I think. While I plan on homeschooling my son, I don’t know how I’ll approach the topic but given that he isn’t even a year old yet, I think I have a little time to figure it out.

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  3. […] have a tendency to assume that because kids go to school, they learn about life. Be it financial or sexual education, they don’t. The same way you can’t blame them for coming back home pregnant at 14 if you never […]

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