Estimated reading time: 9 minutes
Uncover the secret to a healthy relationship rooted in love, not wealth. Discover how to cultivate a strong connection that lasts.
Putting In Time Is Not Love
A healthy relationship based on true love takes work, mistakes, and lots of glue to keep it together, no matter how wealthy a couple is.
The misconception that couples who live a stress-free, debt-free money, money-induced lifestyle must be happy is so far gone it’s a shame that people put so much weight on money and love.
Hollywood is a classic example of how being rich isn’t everything; prenups are.
Every month, some A-lister or ‘successful someone’ is getting divorced, and guess what… they have money.
I know people who feel they are not good enough for love because they aren’t rich, don’t have successful careers, or fit the role of supermodel.
Forget all that nonsense, would you?
It’s one thing to lead a motivated life, but it’s another to focus so much on what you want that you may miss opportunities.
Sure, you don’t have to settle because finding the ideal partner is essential, but don’t let a list of “must-haves” consume you.
Unless you don’t mind being single forever or in a relationship based on what you believe is a healthy relationship.
Have you heard this before?
It must be nice living the dream.
They are so lucky they can travel wherever they want, have fancy cars, a big house, buy the latest styles and decor, etc.
I wish I were that successful couple.
They look so happy together. Some might call this jealousy.
But are they happy because they are Rich?
Putting A Relationship Back Together
Healthy relationships are like vehicles; they may need money to keep the car running, but your vehicle will fall apart without love and proper maintenance.
Off to the mechanic you go or marriage counselor, if that will even work, to try and save a relationship.
Unlike the vehicle, though, you can’t buy parts to put a relationship back together, but you can change.
Usually, counseling is just a bashing match to say that a couple gave it their best shot before retiring to the lawyer.
Sadly, too many people put MONEY on the table as the most essential part of what they believe is a healthy relationship or even why they might pursue one in the first place.
Why do so many people think that people who have money are happy?
Sometimes I believe it’s because they think that if they were rich life would be easy and less stressful.
People who crave the success of those who are well-off financially forget that people who have money are human, too.
Money doesn’t make a relationship stay together.
It never will.
It may last a month, a year, two years, or even five, but eventually, the natural person hiding behind the dollar signs will come out and show their ugly face as the stages of a relationship progress.
Healthy vs. Unhealthy Relationships
What is a healthy vs unhealthy relationship?
I don’t understand why it’s so hard for people to understand the difference; however, sometimes, we don’t see how unhealthy a relationship truly is until we are so far into it that many feel trapped.
It usually doesn’t begin unhealthily; it blossoms into something most couples never dream of.
This is a reason couple’s fight (I’m not talking about every day boring fights like you didn’t do the laundry fights, I mean full on duck your head a flower vase is coming you way type of fights.
There is no laughing undertone there; it’s a severe issue.
You may even find some people have extramarital affairs, communication issues, and a full breakdown of the relationship.
All it takes is someone new to come around to get the love juices flowing, and a relationship is in potential danger.
Sometimes, all it takes is ONE KISS!
Oddly enough, once the fantastic sexual tension wears off, couples start to see the clear picture.
So, money and sex may be part of a healthy relationship, but it’s only a tiny component. We do have to eat and pay the bills, which takes money.
It’s when we crave one aspect more than anything and forget about what a healthy relationship truly means.
Money often takes center stage because some people equate having money with being safe from money problems.
Divorce rates are just as prevalent among the wealthy as for everyone else.
You can’t buy love, and once a relationship has hit that turning point where the mushy love is missing, things start to go wrong.
Never stop doing the little things; they don’t go unnoticed.
Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship
I’m no relationship doctor, but in my heart, I know what true love and a healthy relationship feel and look like for ME.
A healthy relationship can take on different roles depending on the couple, but we all know that money will NEVER keep a couple together.
How do you make a relationship work? You work together.
- Love and lots of it
- Friendship
- Kissing and lots of it
- Common goals
- Excellent communication skills
- Teamwork
- Patience
- Believe in and motivate each other’s dreams.
- Helps each other out when needed
This is my list; I’m sure you are naming many other things you think should be added.
Then, you should make your list and keep it somewhere you can check it often.
You may even want to share your list with your spouse or ask them to make their own and compare.
You don’t see money on my list because it is nice and can consistently be earned, but it doesn’t make or break how love enters my heart.
What would concern me more is how much debt a potential partner has is more than how much money they have in the bank.
Healthy Relationships and Money
Our friends are going through a divorce, and once everyone finds out, I’m sure their jaws will drop. Not that it’s anyone’s business.
Just about everyone we know thought they were the perfect couple.
No one ever saw them argue, and smiles were never hard to find when they were in your company.
They invited friends to their house every summer for a backyard pool party.
The food and alcohol were always accessible, along with the jazzed-up landscaping and outside furniture.
They were living the dream, so everyone thought.
When they made their way to their house for the first time, most people wanted the grand tour.
It wasn’t uncommon for people to be amazed at how much money was invested into the home.
It was evident in the expenses for all the high-end furniture, appliances, and finishes.
Money was no object, and this couple renovated their home, sparing none of the details.
The outside was a paradise adorned with a complete fireplace, bar, kitchen, pool, hot tub, extensive lighting, and immaculate grounds.
The husband is a successful doctor and business owner, and the wife stays home to work on her interior decorating hobby.
Anything she wanted to do, she did, which included weekend getaways to New York with her girlfriends, for which she would pay the bill.
She has lots of friends, as you can imagine.
Not many people can say they know what true friendship is when money is part of the equation.
The same goes for love.
Some people see a “better life” and are willing to forgo their happiness for money and lifestyle.
He was no different with the guy’s weekend away in Las Vegas, golfing and who knows what else.
Ya, what happens in Vegas…. bla bla bla.
In Love With Two Women
Only seven years into the marriage, they are filing for divorce because he said they are not happy.
I asked him what he meant by that.
In my mind, I think his life on the outside looked frosted.
Something is happening behind closed doors that just isn’t working.
He met his wife through a friend after leaving a woman he was madly in love with.
They could not be together for whatever reason, as the timing was wrong.
He told me he has never stopped loving her despite trying to forget her.
It’s taken its toll on him emotionally, and his wife is paying the price because he is not the husband he should be to her.
He doesn’t communicate with his ex, but she’s in his circle of friends and on his mind.
What if this, what if that?
Lots of questions.
Move Forward Or Stay Stuck
Some people would say leave the past in the past, and others say maybe she’s on your mind for a reason.
He is also in love with his wife, and the feeling of being in love with two women is too much for him to handle.
As odd as it sounds, some open relationships work, but there seems to be more to this tango we don’t know.
I know I’m nosey, BUT I’m not that nosey.
No written relationship rules say you can’t be in love with two people simultaneously.
It sure is possible IF you allow it.
Who has time for that stuff anyway… it’s hard enough with one wife!
Free Your Mind Of Clutter
All joking aside, it’s easy to love but hard to ignore what is unsuitable for your current situation.
When you think money could buy you love, you take a deep breath and realize that money only gets you what you want at the moment, but that doesn’t mean it will last forever.
Once you take away the money and put two people in a room together, all you have is a couple who either love each other, or they don’t.
I feel sad for our friends, but at the same time, I want them to be happy.
There is nothing anyone can do but take a step back and realize that a healthy relationship takes two people committed to a life together. Money is just a bonus!
Discussion: What are the characteristics of a healthy relationship for you?
-Mr.CBB
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I tell people all the time that you really don’t know what is going on behind closed doors, and this scenario is a perfect example. I believe money can make you real comfortable and buy quick moments of happiness, but if you don’t have someone special in your life to share it with, it can get old really quick. Having loads of money also brings along a different kind of stress that some people are not able to mentally handle.
I totally agree with you: Having lots of money doesn’t equal lots of happiness. I love your characteristics of a happy marriage. I have learned lots after being married for almost 6 year, one of the biggest ones that you mentioned is BEING FRIENDLY TO ONE ANOTHER!!!! So simple, but it goes such a long way. If you treat your spouse like your best friend and have an optimistic outlook on life, then you can resolve most problems easily. I read somewhere that couples fight up to 80% more after having a child. I have found that remembering that my husband is on the same team as I am really helps since having our little man. He wants the best for all of us! Great article!