What keeps a marriage strong?
Through all of the trials and tribulations, we’ve been through I wanted to share what works for us.
A Healthy Strong Marriage Takes More Than Love
How can couples build a strong marriage?
Below are all how Mrs. CBB and I have worked to build a strong marriage.
We recently celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary, which was an amazing feeling.
Our mutual friends asked us what our secret was to have such a strong marriage.
First of all, there is no perfect marriage but creating a marriage plan is ideal.
Today, I want to talk about Mrs. CBB’s failed marriage and how we’ve built a strong marriage.
Marriage Counselling Assistance
We’ve had bumps along the way; however, we worked them out without the need for marriage counselling.
If you have a benefits package at work, most will include counselling, and you pay a small portion of the cost.
Giving up on marriage without talking to a counsellor lets everything fall to pieces.
Perhaps there is a way to save a weak marriage and use building blocks to create a strong marriage.
Building blocks is the same as writing out a marriage plan where you work on issues together.
Perhaps your spouse spends too much money, and you want them to consider budgeting.
There’s no harm in that, and if the couple agrees, you can bet that budget will be an eye-opener for the spender.
If a marriage gets to the point where communication becomes negative, talk to a professional.
Marital Abuse IS NOT Something You Can Fix
Once you reach the stage of mental abuse, physical abuse, your marriage is over.
If you think you can fix a partner who abuses you, you’re wrong.
They have to learn to love themselves before they can love someone else.
As well, the abuser needs to understand why they struggle to love someone.
Never stay in a marriage that is gone just for the sake of the kids; move on.
Bad energy will emerge in the household, and guess what, you’ll probably still argue.
You can’t take back the horrors of being beaten, abused or even confined to the home.
Before you curse me with a magic spell, I want you to know that women can be just as evil and vindictive as males.
In other words, it’s not always the male spouse that is the problem; it’s the woman.
How We Built A 15 Year Strong Marriage
How To Communicate and Listen Effectively and remind yourself to talk.
I wanted to put this first because it will fall apart without communication in a marriage.
Talk to your spouse about everything from finance to appointments.
Basically, find out what the rundown is for the day, so you’re both not wondering what’s going on.
Talk about everything and listen to your spouse when they talk to you by looking at their eyes.
I want to let you know that I understand that every marriage is different, but even if one of the tips below works, you’re one step ahead.
Situational marriages going downhill for other reasons mean taking things into your own hands.
Work On Being On The Same Financial Page
This is a must because if you’re both just spending nilly willy, you’re going to blow the money you earn that could have gone to your retirement fund or debt repayment.
You can get my free budget to use, plus if you subscribe to the blog, I’ll send you an Emergency Budget Binder Package to fill out in case something happens to either one of you or both.
It’s worth knowing everything from passwords, debt, baking information etc.
Another thing I want to point out is if one of you passes away, if both your names are not on the bank account, the bank may freeze it.
Breath Life Into A Sexless Marriage
If you are in a sexual marriage, talk to your partner. That’s all you can do apart from surprising them with a romantic getaway.
Talking about sex should never be taboo.
Sometimes I have to control my wife because she likes talking about it too much, even with friends.
She is NOT shy in that department.
Be Reasonable And Realistic
Don’t come up with crazy ideas, especially if you can’t afford them.
Take your time to set long-term and short-term goals, but most of all, make sure you’re paying your debt before rushing out to have fun.
How To Have Patience In A Marriage
Stop and Take Deep Breaths, and don’t say something you will regret when you are angry.
Ask yourself it is worth the drama. Do you remember, Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff? It’s an excellent small book to read.
Don’t Try To Be A Millionaire When You’re NOT
No one cares about how much money you have if your car is expensive or has a big house with a pool.
Literally, NO ONE CARES. Instead of blowing money to make other people think you are rich is the silliest thing you can do.
Get Rid Of Clutter In Your House And Car
Check Your Text Messages Before You Come Home
I recently opened a mobile phone account with Freedom Mobile, which was super cheap. It’s $21 a month plus two gigs of data.
The only problem is I forget to check texts.
There are have been a few instances where Mrs. CBB asked me to pick something up after work, and I didn’t see the texts. Alternatively, make a phone call. Either I call her, or she calls me.
Say I Love You And Kiss Every Day
do this every day, kiss her in the morning, kiss her when I leave and when I get home than before bed; you could say I’m a kisser,
When There IsToo Much Anger
Take A Break.
My only advice here is to Treat People With Kindness, even your spouse, children, friends, relatives and those you don’t know.
You will live a happier life if you smell the roses, listen to nature and breath in the air.
Cuddling Keeps Your Marriage Strong
We are working on this by getting our son out of our bed at night.
He doesn’t like to be alone and wants to cuddle me all the time. Before we had our son, it was always us cuddling.
Every chance we can get to cuddle, we do, but it’s typically with a child in between us.
The plan to shift him upstairs to his bedroom started with a toy clearout and making the space somewhere he would love.
He has a television in his room, and we’ll bring his video gaming systems up there.
Before you say, I know, but he’s a good kid, and we set timers, and he’s fantastic following the rules.
Give Each Other Time And Space
We both need alone time every day, even if only for an hour. This gives us time to refresh our minds, think about our day and chill out for a bit.
I would go into the basement or the garage to clean my truck or finish the little chores I needed to get done. When Mrs. CBB retreats, she likes to read a good book or use her mobile phone.
Spend Time Together or Create A Hobby
Go For A Walk And Hold Hands, workout together or create a hobby you can both work on, such as starting a blog.
It’s easy and cheap to start a WordPress blog and work towards building a side-business.
If you don’t think you want to monetize your blog and want a platform to share your thoughts, sign up with WordPress.com.
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If there is a problem, they fix it as fast as possible and send out a sorry letter and summary of what happened.
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Don’t Forget Special Occasions
I’m not the best at this, and I’ve had an upset wife a few times.
She is the one who never forgets and always makes me a card, bakes or buys something special for me.
This could be for a birthday, anniversary, Christmas or just because.
Never Go To Bed Angry
The last thing you want is to be staring at the ceiling, upset all night because you both haven’t solved your problem.
Work on a plan or talk about doing it the next morning or a specific date.
Find Ways To Earn Extra Cash And Save It
With the Covid-19 pandemic taking its toll on families financially, it’s not a bad idea to find extra ways to save money in Canada.
Suppose you surf the web daily Sign up for Swagbucks. It’s FREE; we LOVE it and hope you will too.
Laugh Often And Smile
Last year, we cut the cable and home phone and used a firestick, and it’s perfect.
Treat People With Kindness
Treat everyone with respect and consideration that they might have an invisible illness you can’t see.
Perhaps a person is driving too slow, or an accident after the driver suffers a heart attack.
Don’t think black and white for everything until you’ve thought outside of the box.
Work Through Problems Without Yelling
We have fought before in front of our son, and it was the worst thing ever.
Now we silent fight even if he’s in the next room. It’s more like sarcasm throwing followed by laughing.
Forgiveness Is Possible For A Strong Marriage
We all make mistakes, and based on the situation, if someone says sorry, you have the power to give or forget forgiveness.
Never Walk Out The Door Angry
The last thing you need is to leave home angry and work all day. If you can talk it out before you go, you’ll release the burden of stress on your shoulders.
Have A Small Circle Of Friends
This is something we were both on the same page about.
The more friends you have, the higher the stress level you will have dealing with their problems.
Besides, having a clique of adults with similar interests makes for a great party.
One Date Night A Month Builds A Strong Marriage
We had a date night two years ago and hoped to plan another one.
You don’t have to be aggressive and go out every weekend on a date.
Keep in mind the money it will cost you if you visit establishments.
It’s hard when you have no one to babysit your child.
We don’t always like to ask people as he’s shy.
Build A Strong Marriage By Not Hiding Feelings
If you have something to say to your spouse or you’ve been feeling unwell or have a problem, express them to your wife. T
his is also part of communicating but on a different level as it may be a health concern.
Surprise Your Partner With A Hand Written Note, Flowers, Sweet Treat, Mini Road Trip etc.
I’m working on this a bit more without spending money, such as baking something keto for her.
Lastly, discuss and document who pays the bills and when you both can review your monthly budget.
Besides, one or both of you need to fill in your budget as the month progresses.
A Strong Marriage Quote
Build A Strong Marriage Starting With Love
Overall, our marriage had rocky times as we got situated in our house.
That was when Mrs. CBB’s company downsized, and they let her go.
I was earning $15 an hour at my job, and it was tough, although we were thankful we got a mortgage on one income.
We didn’t spend any time together as I worked full-time and went to school.
I forgot to take time out for the both of us, which I deeply regret. She’s my best friend, wife, and our son’s mom.
When she first got divorced, can you believe it was because of money?
That’s what her ex-husband said to her, and he was right. They often fought about money as Mrs. CBB didn’t want to struggle.
She took charge of the money, not really budgeting but writing everything down in a notepad.
On the other hand, he loved to spend money with no regard, but I bet he regrets it now.
He grew up in a home where the parents paid for everything or spoiled him.
Two more failed marriages, and now he is single, living with his parents and has around 100,000 in debt.
Maybe he should have taken the money advice when he married wife number one, who is now mine forever.
Discussion: What do you do that helps keep your marriage strong? I’d love to read your comments below.