The Saturday Weekly Review

Is Parenting easier when you are considered rich? : The Saturday Weekend Review #125

The Saturday Weekend Review logo- parentingMONEY DOES NOT REPLACE LOVE

 

Parenting has only partly to do with money and everything to do with love and a desire to be the best parent(s) you can be.

We’ve talked about the definition of rich and how it has different meanings for everyone in the past on CBB.

For most people we associate “rich” with the rich and famous A-listers, musicians and famous people like the Kardashians.

There are also rich people worth millions who aren’t famous and those who are rich because they don’t have much to worry about financially with all of their bases covered.

Rich to some people may also be someone who has a great career, who owns a home, a car or even someone who has no debt. The dual-income family may also fall into this category.

In other words if you have cash to spare and no debt you should have money to burn and you must be taking advantage of the easy life because you can. This is all wrong and based solely on assumptions.

Money in parenting only helps to pay for food, clothing, daycare or the babysitter and all the other necessities some of which you can get for free, used or a discounted price if you know how to be a frugal shopper.

We waited to have a child until we were debt free and just recently in the last year paid off our mortgage. The mortgage payoff was just a bonus while waiting for my wife to become pregnant but we had no consumer debt which is the most worrisome kind.

Starting a family with as little money stress as possible sounded like the perfect plan for us and it’s worked out to our advantage because we don’t have to worry so much.

It’s not however the reason why you should wait to become parents although having little debt if any helps lessen the money worries,

Some people wait until they have no debt, the perfect career and timing only to find out they have infertility issues that make the process even harder. It’s also costly for those who don’t have benefits to help cover the high prices associated with infertility issues.

Balance is key to everything in life, so we’ve learned.

 

Parenting Skills

 

As first time parents we expected the worst having a new baby in our presence and it came but it didn’t last long. Most of it was sleep deprivation and not the screaming and crying we anticipated.

We soon learned that our parenting skills would grow strength through experience and if we weren’t around then we’d miss out on all the enjoyment of why we signed up to be parents.

In the first few months of parenting my wife did nothing more than feed, change and bathe the baby plus sleep when she could. We were focused on building that parent child relationship and nothing more because bringing a baby home changed every aspect of our lives.

There was no cooking, cleaning or as she calls it “Prettying herself up” because the baby came first. We were lucky to have a couple of friends who cooked for us and dropped off food plus shared a few hours of laughter now and again.

Sure, we went out and my wife looked beautiful as ever and that’s because I was able to step in and help out while she got ready. Not everyone has this luxury. Yours truly did and still does cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry and cooking depending on who is watching the baby.

Yes, we can afford a nanny at $15-$20hr, house cleaner at $15-$20hr and gardener at $20hr but we never did hire any of the three permanently. We did hire someone to come and weed our garden for a couple of hours once but that’s as far as we took it.

We weren’t expecting the Queen to come and visit and to be honest we keep a super clean house and we tend to pick up after ourselves so the house wasn’t that bad.

Many times we’ve had friends and family tell us to just hire some help and that we should be able to afford to do so since we have no one to help out with the new baby and we have good jobs.

I guess they are assuming we are raking in the cash because clearly they don’t know that hiring someone would take a big chunk of our monthly net income. Attainable, sure but not necessary for us.

We didn’t want to make a decision based on sleep deprivation because we knew he’d soon start sleeping through the night and we’d get more done.

Remember assuming that people have money could be a horrible mistake. Credit buys anything and not all careers pay what you think they do.

With 2 jobs and the new baby on the way it was next to impossible for me to get anything done so we paid someone to weed the back garden. This was before the baby arrived and even now I don’t feel the pressure to hire someone as I did before he came. I think the anticipation of being a parent was far worse than what it truly is. Nothing but a blessing.

It was a few hours of work off my back and recently my parents did it for me again at no charge. I wish we had our parents around for some parenting help but sadly we don’t so it’s all us, all the time.

We’ve experienced that parenting is busy but it’s also rewarding and that we were going to make it work without having to spend money on hiring someone to help us.

When our son was a newborn and my wife was home alone once the baby went to sleep/nap she had to decide whether to pump, shower, eat, clean or sleep.

Most times sleep and pumping won and she would eat bits in between then shower when I got  home. The baby doesn’t nap too much these days and she no longer pumps so it’s game on from here on out. The good news is he sleeps throughout the night for us.

Motherhood is a busy job and it’s not easy by any stretch of the imagination whether the baby is a newborn or a toddler. Kudos to the single moms and dads who are parenting on their own without any help at all. Kudos to the parents who go back to work early or after maternity leave as it has to be a juggling act at best.

If you are well-off you could easily combat all of the above by paying for someone to step in and be you but I believe it’s all part of the parenting experience now. I suppose every situation will be unique and fit the lifestyle of the parents.

I don’t think either of us anticipated parenting to be easy but our son has been simple to deal with thus far as he’s a great baby. Like most parents we read as much as we could about parenting but for the most part everything seems to be coming naturally.

We know it’s only the beginning and are not counting our eggs before they have hatched by any stretch of the imagination. Terrible twos, Troublesome three’s bring it on but hopefully it will be a gentle force for us.

Some babies are happy all the time like our son who only recently started crying more than normal. He’s going through a growth spurt, is clingy and wants us to be in the same room with him at all times when he’s playing. This will pass but we have to endure the strange phase he is going through and be there for him when he needs us the most.

He’s also started walking at just 9 months old which keeps us on our toes and may be why he’s so clingy. I think he understands that he has a new-found independence and wants to make sure someone will be there for him if he falls.

We remember the time when he couldn’t move or roll over and now he’s walking. Honestly it feels just like yesterday he was born and now he’s ready to run off into the back garden to play. They grow up fast and we already know that the best is yet to come in terms of parenting.

 

Parenting for the Rich

 

I was reading online articles like I normally do the other day and stopped to read an article about Carrie Underwood. You know the famous country singer. (I’m not a country fan but I know who she is.)

The title of the article captured my attention because it said “Why motherhood is easier than I thought” and immediately I thought to myself it’s not so bad at all. We are only 9 months in and Carrie and her husband is 3 and a half months in so we are both newbies in parenting.

Then I thought, I bet you anything if I read the comments to the article her position as a famous country singer and the millions of dollars she has will come up. I just knew people would bash her saying that parenting is easy when you have money and sure enough I was right.

On the other hand she had plenty of support from fans who told people to read the article again because clearly they only jumped to conclusions and money was the first thing to enter the equation.

It’s amazing how so many people focused on the money aspect of parenting when all she said was that she found it easier than she had expected. She never once said parenting was easy.

She has no nanny and brings her son Isaiah Michael on the road with her only 3 and a half months after giving birth. She also has him at the recording studio where she apparently shared a photo of her husband Mike and baby Isaiah Michael recently while she was hard at work.

Just because someone has money doesn’t mean they can’t live life like everybody else especially when it comes to parenting. There are many celebrities who opt to cook and clean on their own as well as giving parenting a shot without full-time hired help.

Sure, they may live in a mansion and have all the money in the world to afford the best of the best but you can’t buy parenting that only your child craves from you.

You can pay for a nanny, you can pay for a babysitter, you can pay for daycare but you can’t replace what a parent can do for and with their child. That is provided the parents spend time with the child and not 24/7 with hired help which some wealthy people do.

It’s just another stigma put on the rich and famous for the same old reasons. She clearly wants and has a normal family life even if she does hire help while she’s on the tour bus. It’s no different from having a babysitter for the night.

Here are a few of comments I read two of which support her and two that speak of her riches and the ease of which parenting must be for her because of it.

Emily- I have 4 kids and I don’t think it is hard. Mine are spaced too, nearly 13, 8 and twins 4. I stay home with them all and we farm. Is it exhausting, yes. It is also amazing and rewarding. Is it hard? No.
Yes, we worry about money. We don’t go out to ea
t often. I volunteer as well.
She may be rich, which every last person in the world would love to not have to worry about money. But she also travels daily and performs for thousands of people which has got be exhausting as well. I wish people would stop ridiculing everyone all the time and realize that we all have different circumstances. Also, for the record she said “it was easier than expected”

Gina- I was 19 when I had my first child. Sure those 1st 3 years were hard financially but MOTHERING was not. It costs nothing to love your child, singing to them, reading to them, teaching them right from wrong, gazing into their eyes while you nourish them from your own body, kissing their boo-boos, sweeping their room at night for monsters, making up stories during bath time, counting stars, chasing fireflies, watching those first steps and other milestones….all free….she said “Motherhood”, not life in general.

Lisa – OMG…..she can’t be serious. First of all, you have all the money in the world to use to take care of your family and provide for your child. So no worries there. You can take your baby with you everywhere you go and have nannies to watch him. No worries there. Your kid hasn’t learned to talk yet and can’t even begin to get themselves into situations that would cause any parent to cringe. So please don’t start talking about how it’s easier than you thought it would be. Wait till they’re going to school and you have to worry about bullying, you have to worry about the friends they make and hang out with, you have to worry about the pressures kids face today, you have to worry about them driving and their friends driving and they want to go with them. THEN talk to me about how easy it is. I have 2 teenage girls who have truly been fantastic kids and given me no issues. Great friends, great grades and very respectful. But it’s still not easy!

Jody -How much help does she have? Cleaning lady? Gardner? Nanny? Personal assistant??? Most mothers don’t have that.

Not all celebrities or people with money want to live the easy life when it comes to parenting but money does help ease the stress which I think more people crave as opposed to wanting that gardener, nanny or house cleaner etc.

Security will always take front seat over things and stuff.

Do you think parenting is easy just because you have money?

CBB Week At A Glance

 

We spent the last 3 weeks with my parents and it was a whirlwind of road trips and adventures in our city that I’m happy to say ended with smiles.

I was sad to see my parents go but they know that we will be heading to the UK next year to see them and it will come along fast. We were going to go this year but we opted to wait until 2016 since they decided to come to Canada.

As we get back into normal routine I realized just how much work blogging was for me and why I do it. Although I wasn’t around much the past few weeks it was nice to see how the fans of my Facebook page took over the nightly “What’s for Dinner?” thread. Thank-you all kindly for that.

Now, back to the grind which means it’s full speed ahead with renovations before I head back to my second job. On the agenda is the bathroom and the outdoor lighting which I hope to complete in the next couple of weeks.

On a final note, our boy is walking!! Tie down the house!

How was your week?

 

Published This Week

 

Just in case you’ve missed any of my blog posts this week I will share them all below.

If you have a question that you would like to ask Mr.CBB fill out the Contact Mr.CBB form on the Home Page and send in your questions.

If you want to share a story via a Fan Question only please ensure that there is minimum 500-1000 words and details… we love details!

Right now CBB is posting Tuesday (Grocery Game Challenge) , Thursday (Personal Finance Post), Saturday (Personal Finance and Weekly Wrap-Up and a recipe on Sunday!

 

Budget Brags

 

Submit your Deal or Brag:

Saving money while grocery shopping is essential in the CBB family and that’s why we share our grocery shops every week in The Grocery Game Challenge 2015.

What I love the most is when my fans share their amazing shops with me whether it be groceries or other deals they find at a garage sale, online or freebies!!!

If you have a brag that you want me to share email me at canadianbudgetbinder (@) [yahoo] [.ca] or fill out my contact form by Friday each week to have your brag considered for the Saturday post.

Today Jen shares a smashing deal she picked up grocery and the power of using coupons and coupon apps.

parenting baby deals Canada June 2015

Hi Mr.CBB and Fans,

Here is a deal I took advantage of today with it being no tax day at RCSS:

  • Vidal Sassoon hair colour 2 x $14.99 – 2 x FPC=Free *I also earned $2.00 on Checkout 51 for one box*
  • Vaseline lotion $8.99 – FPC=Free
  • Enfamil formula $9.97 – FPC=Free
  • Johnson’s baby take along pack – FPC=Free
  • Gerber yogurt melts PM Fortinos 2 x $2.50 – 2 x $1.00 coupons=$3.00
  • Gerber puffs and lil’ crunchies PM Fortinos 4 x $2.50 – 2 x $1.00 wub2 coupons – $1.00
  • Checkout 51=$7.00 (Connor isn’t ready for these yet but I wanted to take advantage since the coupons expire tomorrow)
    OOP $8.00

 

Making A Difference (MAD)

 

Note: If you are a personal finance blogger (anywhere around the world) and would like your blog to be MAD featured simply drop me an email and I’ll explain the process to you.

This is my way of giving back to the personal finance community through networking and sharing knowledge with my fans.

Today I’d like to welcome my blogger friend Michael Todd!

own plus owe blogHey readers of CBB!

My name is Michael Todd from OwnMoreOweLess.com, where I blog about living the debt free lifestyle. I also tweet @OwnMoreOweLess.

In January of 2012, I walked into my local bank branch and paid off my mortgage. It was the culmination of years of removing myself from owing the things in my life, to OWNING them. My furniture. My cars. My home.

It’s all about Owning More, and Owing Less. Regarding personal finance, it’s as simple as it gets. And it needs to be in order to work. When your biggest monthly expenditure is the grocery store, the world and it’s problems has little to throw at you.

When you are stressed with paying big bills every month, you are always desperate for another toy to bring some sense of short term happiness. And I predict, you become a more honest, braver, kinder version of yourself when debt isn’t putting words in your mouth.

When you owe banks every month, you are one paycheck away from disaster. And your brain knows it. You do and say things because you need to. You walk away from your ideals, and generosity takes a back seat because “…I got bills to pay.”

When you own your life free from credit, those things get to come first. Think about that. So you must be thinking: I received an inheritance? Doctor? 60-year-old hermit?

Nobody who lives a normal life can pull this off! This is where it gets really radical. I am in my (now) later forties. Work a middle class, stressful nine-to-five job. Married. My wife works only part-time when she wants to. We have two children who both have chronic medical issues. So if I can do it, you can do it.

The best part of my advice? I have no financial qualifications beyond my own personal success. That’s right. Not even one finance class in college. I can’t throw complicated financial mumbo jumbo at you if I wanted. And you know what, those people aren’t helping you.

Own more. Owe less. Start living life on YOUR terms.

 

Top Recipe

 

crazy banana cakeFood  and grocery shopping is a BIG part of CBB because food is a large part of the budget which people struggle the most with.

If you are someone who would rather buy convenience meals or products consider cooking homemade meals or baking from scratch.

Not only will you save money but you will be proud of what you accomplished and you’ll see that from the smiles on those you feed.

If you don’t already know I have a second Facebook page called The Free Recipe Depot where I share recipes from other Food Bloggers from around the world.

I created this second Facebook page because I love food so much and I wanted to showcase only food 24/7 and this is where I do it.

I also share recipes on CBB once a week on Sundays either made by me or my in-house home blog cook Nicola Don!

This week our Top Recipe Pick goes to Jackie over at Happy Hooligans for her VERY popular Crazy Banana Cake. The unique thing about this cake is that it is baked at a low temperature and immediately put into the freezer when it is done.

I can’t wait to try her version of the classic banana cake with a cream cheese frosting but Crazy Style!!

 

Editor’s Pick

 

Every week I will pick a blog post of the week from around the web that I found interesting and want to share with you and an Editor’s top blog post pick.

Editor’s blog post pick this week goes to fellow Canadian Blogger “Frugal Trader” also an anonymous blogger like myself who blogs at Million Dollar Journey and was featured at Forbes. If you haven’t heard of MDJ it’s a blog about a couple who made it to million dollar net worth in their 30’s.

 

Google Search Terms

 

Every week I get thousands of people visit Canadian Budget Binder because they did a search online and found my blog. Keep in mind any spelling errors below are because I share with you the exact way they typed their search engine query to land on my blog.

  • How much cost is rental goat cleaning– I have to laugh when I see rental goat in my search because I honestly did not believe people rented goats but they do. Katrina wrote about renting a goat last year to help with yard clean-up.
  • Frugal when you don’t have to be– Good point and possibly a great blog post that I may take on.
  • How do I teach my husband a lesson for wasting money every month– You could always give him a time-out and put him in the corner. ha! It’s called communication and budgeting and if you both can’t work on that I pray you can find a way.
  • Stag and Doe for Infertility– Now, that’s a new one!
  • Value Village clothing price range-High to High as they are bloody expensive these days. $0.05- $?  There is no maximum price!

Thanks for dropping by and reading!

Don’t forget to subscribe to my daily blog post by entering your email address on the home page and verifying the subscription email once it is sent to you.

-Mr.CBB

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11 Comments

  1. When our kids were small hubby worked a midnight shift. He did this for a lot of years. I had to do a lot of things with the kids on my own as he was at work or sleeping. It’s what ever your life is and you work with it. I learned fast to handle what ever I had to. Things from sick kids at night, flooding basements, uninvited wild life in the house and what ever happened when he was unavailable. Now with his health being an issue and the kids adults with the two boys still at home I still just deal with what ever I have to, with help from my boys. They are a big help.
    That is awesome that your boy is walking now!! Hope you have baby proofed the place!!
    These people that criticize Carrie Underwood need to think it through a little more. Yes, she tours and puts on concerts and so on. But have any of these people ever thought about her expenses doing all this?? That tour bus…she pays for that and the fuel to run it, the trucks hauling the equipment, she pays, the other musicians on stage with her, she pays, the recording studio..she rents time or buys one but she is still paying for it and so on…. These are all things that she has to pay for one way or another. I have a lot of respect for her and happen to love her music.
    Jen got some sweet deals! Conner will enjoy those treats, I know my grandson sure did!!
    Have a great weekend!!

  2. I made this crazy banana cake the past week actually! It is very good, although I would prefer a slightly more richer banana flavour.

      1. I think the bananas I used could have been slightly more riper, but I think I would use some brown sugar to replace some of the white sugar. My favourite banana bread recipe also calls for 2 tbsp dark rum, so I would try that too next time.

  3. I could write a book – but I won’t. Parenting has provided the highs and lows of my life. One thing that wasn’t mentioned regarding money in combo with parenting, is that the lack thereof can, and often does, take an enormous toll on a marriage, even when the parents truly love each other. In my case undiagnosed mental illness in a spouse also played a part. I had 4 children, one died just after birth, which also created a deep stress which wasn’t adequately identified or handled. Oh to have the wisdom of my current older years when one is young. Regardless, I became a single parent of children ages 12, 10 and 6 years, and managed to survive. Had we had better income, or had my spouse recognized the NEED for improved income, my/our stress levels would have been greatly reduced and we may have survived the eventual crisis which led to the failure of our marriage. The crisis was all about money, not about one child with (at the time) uncontrolled epilepsy, one with learning disabilities and one with ADHD. They were /are our children, their needs were paramount. They have all developed into loving, giving adults, and now one daughter has 4 children, including two with special needs. Money played a part in the breakup of her marriage as well. So for me the bottom line is money – lots of it – may not bring happiness but adequate income certainly impacts on our ability to raise children in a lower stress environment. Mr CBB I applaud you for your young wisdom, I wish to some extent that we had had your blog when we were young enough to change our attitude towards money.

  4. I think that the definition of rich is a little deceptive. Parenting probably is a little easier when you don’t have to choose between food and paying the daycare bill. I did not work the first year of my boys lives and I don’t regret it at all.

    1. Yes money will make things easier but for the sake of Carrie Underwood I believe what she was talking about had NOTHING to do with money and everything to do with simply, parenting.

  5. I was only 22 when my only daughter was born. At first, it was hard, lack of sleep especially every night, you need to sacrifice some things, but for me it was the most priceless moment.

  6. Congratulations on your son walking.

    I can’t say parenting was easy or hard when my daughter was young but I had my parents help quite a bit which was a good thing. I didn’t have “mothering” instincts but I did know that I wanted her and loved her. I think a certain amount of instinct came later as she grew up.

    I’ve watched my mom when she was around her family and she made it look easy but I’m sure she’s the first person to say that wasn’t easy but you get through each stage of life and learn from those mistakes and hope you’ve done the best you could.

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