Forever Debt “Spend Money Like You Have It”: The Saturday Weekend Review #176
LIFE GIVES US OPTIONS AND WE MUST DEAL WITH THE CONSEQUENCES OF OUR CHOICES EVEN IF IT’S A COMMON SENSE LESSON
Since Father’s Day is around the corner I thought this email from a fan was fitting and likely one of the reasons she submitted it when she did. A timely lesson about wealth, money and debt.
Liz learned her lesson the hard way and now she’s digging her way out of $50,000 worth of potentialforever debt because she believed that if you spend money like you have it then everyone will think you’re successful.
That’s the situation which 30 year-old Liz is battling now that she is done University, living on her own and has nothing or nobody to fall back on, not even her credit cards. The safety net which she called “plastic” has since been cut up and she was forced to put herself on a cash diet and a strict budget. Her story details the life of an entitled child who was handed choices but with consequences just like any other person.
No one likes to succumb to a tight budget but you if you spend money like you have it then you must suffer the ramifications of debt. Liz knew eventually all of her fashionista spendy ways would catch up with her but what she didn’t bank on was how she was going to handle it.
Her biggest issue was that she didn’t know how to stop her lavish lifestyle because she knew that she’d be one step behind the rest of her so-called “rich” friends who live in the big city of Toronto, Ontario. The land where money flows in and out in a minute, an hour or a day if you let it.
Don’t let the entertainment, flashy lights, tall drinks and sporty cars fool you. Money cascades but when it’s money that haven’t yet earned or when you are spending someone else’s money it will eventually catch up to you. Just because you can buy something without physical cash in hand doesn’t mean you don’t have to pay it back.
As Liz later learned just because someone is generous with their money doesn’t mean you have to take advantage of it either. She also learned how we all make mistakes in life and parenting isn’t as easy as some people make it. You can’t pour from an empty cup, take care of yourself first.
Everyone makes financial mistakes
Hi Mr.CBB,
I kind of feel weird addressing you as Mr.CBB but I understand why because I don’t want anyone knowing who I am either and this crappy financial situation I’ve gotten myself into.
All of my life I grew up in a household where I was given whatever I wanted because my father has cash and lots of it. You have to understand that my father grew up very poor and didn’t want me to experience life that way. I became the hand that filled his left pocket and was always digging into the money pot, because he let me. That was his first mistake.
I would spend money on clothes, accessories and even treat my friends to a night on the town because my dad would give me his credit card. This is where I learned to spend money like I had it because there were no consequences for my actions. I had no bills to pay, ever.
All my father ever told me was to not spend more than $5000 a month. When I was out with my girlfriends it seemed unfair since my tastes in fashion and make-up were pricey and I began wanting more money. It’s not cheap to look good especially when you have high-end tastes with a steady flow of cash.
I’m not the thrift-store kind of girl but these days you may just find me looking through the clothing racks sourcing great deals. I know now that my father was trying to teach me a money lesson one that he hoped I would eventually understand even if it was learning the hard way.
My father always talked about money and budgets around the house and why it was so important to watch what we spend money on. In a way he was sending me subtle daddy messages hoping I’d get it. Somehow I wish he wasn’t so vague about the importance of financial security and my future especially since he’s joined the millionaire plus club. He knew the hardships I may face especially with my free reign with his credit card. Did he want me to fail in order to succeed? Maybe.
As I grew up my weekly plastic allowance increased to $6,000 a month and when I was sent off to University he bumped it up to $7,000. At that time I was in my early 20’s and finished University debt free and happy because I had my father’s credit card access. He always asked me what I spent my money on and how it was going to help me. I never quite understood that but now I do.
The problem was that we had the money so my father saw it more as an educational tool. I was living in luxury and had no idea how my choices would affect my future until it happened to me, I had forever debt growing at a rapid speed. I knew what debt was but I never imagined I’d live to see it, live it and stress about it.
Spend money like you have it if you want forever debt, he’d say.
All he wanted was for me to experience life to the fullest without having to miss any of my dreams and at the same time recognize that money doesn’t grow on trees. I love him for caring for me like that but eventually I would have to go out on my own. This is where I fell short of money because my father knew I had a successful career but what he didn’t know was that I had a spending problem. I didn’t learn about money the way he was hoping I would. Not at first, but now I have.
Now that I don’t live with my father I have no one to fall back on about this massive debt I owe and I’m too scared to tell him about it. My mom passed away when I was 3 and I’m an only child so I certainly want to make my dad proud. I don’t want him to think I’m a failure especially since he is so successful in the financial district.
I’m sure he wouldn’t but those words of his haunt me, “Spend money like you have it if you want forever debt.” I hear it over and over in my head but honestly it only makes me stronger. I plan to conquer this forever debt until it’s zero debt.
Spend Money You DO Have
I’m 30 years old now with a debt load of $50,000 which could be worse but luckily I landed a great career in the Toronto Fashion District of all places. I suppose my keen fashion sense and wish for luxury in a way sent me down this path.
I’d love to open a business and have a family one day but what I learned from my upbringing is that parents make mistakes. As children it’s imperative that we look beyond what we are faced with in life and work to recognize right from wrong.
Now that I have put the brakes on my spending habits and am investing in myself I want to tell everyone out there that in the end the only person you have to blame is yourself.
My father may have given me his credit card with a spending limit but I didn’t have to use it. He did warn me. We did talk about debt and budgets. I didn’t have to listen to my friends who wanted me to buy them stuff or plan expensive getaways. I didn’t have to wear new clothes to every event or outing. I didn’t have to spend money I didn’t have on things that I could have done without.
I guess in the end I did learn my lesson but now I have to pay for it. It was my choice even though I practically had it dangling in my face. Don’t judge my father either since credit cards are a semi-evil in our world where they are easy to get but always leave a haunted trail.
Anyways, thanks for the budget download which I’ve used for a few months now and it works well since it’s so easy. I no longer spend money I don’t have nor do I feel pressured to be someone I’m not. I also have lots of new friends who don’t rely on money for happiness. It feels good to be free from those evils. I love my father more than anything in this world and although he’s not perfect, show me a dad that is.
Happy Father’s Day dad…I hope I make you proud.
Signed,
Your little girl all grown up…Liz x
Thanks for sharing your story with us and I wish you continued success paying off your debt.
If you have a story or life lesson you’d like to share with the CBB audience please email me today.
What did I do this week?
Hmm, sometimes if I don’t make notes I forget what I’ve done all week because it’s a blur apart from family time. This week we successfully made it to soccer practice and it went far better than the week earlier. Our guy is one of the youngest on the team but he’s getting into it slowly. He loves kicking the ball and running with it.
I’m finished my second job now for a couple of weeks but I’ve got an important meeting coming up which I need to prepare for. After that I’m home-free for a week and a bit before I head back for one day a week. That’s only for a few weeks then I’m back to my regular 7 days a week again.
Other than that we are not going away on holiday this year which means I’ll have time to finish up all the goals on my to-do list which seems to be growing every month. I have more than enough work to keep me busy every day. The best part is not having to wake up to an alarm every single day. At least I can cuddle with my two favourite people and enjoy coffee and a nice breakfast without feeling rushed.
Basil is coming up nicely as is the rhubarb.. it’s monstrous. I should probably harvest it shortly. The elephant ear hostas are huge and just about every plant and bush I put in new is thriving with the weather we’ve had so I’m happy about that.
How was your week?
Awesome posts I published this week
Just in case you’ve missed any of my blog posts this week I will share them all below. If you are looking for past Saturday Weekend Review posts scroll down to the bottom of this post where I will list up to 5 previous weeks for you to read.
If you have a question that you would like to ask Mr.CBB fill out the Contact Mr.CBB form on the blog home page and I’ll do my best to reply to each one. If you want to share a story via a Fan Question please ensure that there is minimum 500 words and lots of details…we love details! I’m more than happy to chat via email to bring your story to life.
New: If your story submission gets chosen and published you will be entered into a yearly draw for a $25 Gift Card or $25 CDN via PayPal if you are from the USA.
Right now CBB is posting Tuesday (Grocery Game Challenge), Thursday (Personal Finance Post), Saturday (Personal Finance and Weekly Wrap-Up and a Frugal Recipe on Sunday!
Top performing CBB Post this week : How much should my Grocery Budget Be?
- There’s One Major Budget Tool Needed For Success Plus Our May Family Budget Report
- How To Include Fresh Produce In yYour Diet When Pricess Are High
- The Perfect Vanilla Ice-cream Sandwich (Low-Cab)
Fan Budget Brags
You got WHAT for HOW Much?
Submit your Deal or Brag:
Saving money while grocery shopping is essential in the CBB family and that’s why we share our grocery shops every week in The Grocery Game Challenge .
Join the Budget Brag Challenge 2016 and WIN!!!
What I love the most is when my fans share their amazing shops with me whether it be groceries or other deals they find at a garage sale, online or freebies! In 2016 if you send me your Budget Brag you will automatically get entered into a yearly draw for a surprise gift card.
If your Budget Brag gets chosen you get an extra ballot! So start sending in your brags with a photo and tell me about your deals. If you are from the USA and win I will PayPal you the money in CDN dollars. Open to Canada and USA only.
Email me at canadianbudgetbinder@yahoo.(ca) < remove brackets) or fill out my contact form by Friday each week to have your brag considered for the Saturday post.
Today Jen Peacock is back with another fantastic garage sale score. Love the price on the sandals!
Hey Everyone,
Check out these awesome garage sale finds!
- Cars Lego $2
- Magnetic dry erase board, toy kitchen frying pan and Mr. Clean mini broom and dustpan $.50
- Corning-ware mug (new) and striped sleeper (looks never worn) $1.50
- Lunch bag $1 (they were asking $2)
- Keen sandals (like new), 4 t-shirts and 2 pairs of shorts for Adam, 1 t-shirt and 2 pairs of shorts (one pair is brand new with tags from the Gap) for Connor $10 (they were asking $19)
Total $15
Making a difference (MAD)
Welcome to the 2016 Making A Difference series! Join the networking movement of Personal Finance Bloggers around the world. If you are a personal finance blogger (anywhere around the world) and would like your blog to be MAD featured simply drop me an email and I’ll explain the process to you. I’m currently booking for July and August.
This is my way of giving back to the personal finance community through networking and sharing knowledge with my fans. Today it is my pleasure to share with you the blog, Thrifty Meets Spendy!
Hey there, CBB readers!
Miss Thrifty here, half of the dynamic duo beyond Thrifty Meets Spendy. Mr. Spendy is my fiancé, silent partner in crime, and semi-reluctant participant in my efforts to reform his financial habits.
In short, we’re what happens when financial opposites attract. Our blog highlights issues that financially incompatible couples face, like dissimilar credit scores, runaway spending on hobbies, and differing saving priorities.
I got my name from my lovely parents, Mommy and Daddy Thrifty who are secret millionaires. They’re used car driving, coupon clipping, aluminum can collecting money mavericks. Needless to say, I learned my best money lessons from them!
Mr. Spendy came from a completely different money background and Thrifty Meets Spendy is our outlet for meditations on these two contradictory upbringings. From both sets of parents, we’ve learned a little about what to do and some of what not to do, too!
I post monthly updates on my net worth which grows steadily despite a lackluster entry-level salary. Mr. Spendy, the Teller to my Penn, keeps his finances a bit more private but is still making huge strides toward our priority #1: an emergency fund to cover six months of living expenses.
We’re a recent arrival in the personal finance blogosphere but we hope to have an impact on our readers who may find themselves in similar situations. We bare almost all – from side hustle fails and bad money mistakes to our modest financial victories. Our mission is to add a fresh voice to the personal finance conversation of the millennial generation – one that’s driven to tackle money goals, together.
We hope you’ll check us out and add your two cents to our rants and raves on all things money.
Yummy Recipe Find
Food and grocery shopping are relevant to us because food is a large part of the budget which people struggle the most with.
We all have to eat to survive but just because we have a budget doesn’t mean we can’t eat delicious home-cooked meals that are drool-worthy.
If you are someone who would rather buy convenience foods consider cooking homemade meals or baking from scratch. Not only will you save money but you will be proud of what you’ve accomplished and you’ll see that from the smiles on those you feed.
For the past 2 years I’ve had a second Facebook page called The Free Recipe Depot where I exclusively share recipes from Food Bloggers around the world. I also share recipes on the blog on Sunday either made by home cook and mom Nicola Don or myself.
This week our Top Recipe Pick goes to Fiona over at Just So Tasty for the stunning Strawberry Crumb Bars which I can’t wait to make. I’ve made plenty of crumb bars in my time in the kitchen but never with strawberry. I might even toss in some rhubarb since we’re busting at the seams with it in our garden.
Top Pinterest Find
I was over at Healthy and Natural World and found an articles for 75 uses for Tea Tree Oil which I thought was great since my wife purchased a bottle a few weeks back. Tea tree oil is inexpensive to buy and it can help with many issues in the health and beauty department as well as household cleaning. Originally my wife bought tea tree oil to mix in a spray bottle to use on our son’s hair when he was going to be in groups with other kids.
Tea tree oil is a great way to fight against lice which is a huge problem with the kiddos. She later found out she could use it for cleaning, additive for shampoo, acne spots, bad breath, abrasions and minor cuts, Allergies, air freshener, bruises, blisters, burns and… well just click the link and read the article. It’s informative and for $7.99 a bottle it’s well worth the money.
Do you use tea tree oil?
Editor’s Choice weekly read
Every week I will pick a blog post of the week from around the web that I found interesting and want to share with all of you. Please head on over and give the post a read and let them know that Mr. CBB sent you if you comment. Thanks.
Editor’s pick (That’s me Mr.CBB) This week I read a post by Chris A.K.A “Peach” over at Money Peach where he talks about that third magical pay cheque we all get every year. You know that month where it seems like your net income gets a huge boost? Those are great months however what you do with that money is up to you. Chris explains what not to do and what he has done with that extra cash over the years.
Financial Quote Of the Week
Wealthy isn’t about having lots of money it’s about having lots of options
When I read this money quote it made sense to me because so many people think that if you are wealthy you must have a high net worth. This is not the case. When you bring yourself into a state of wealth like becoming debt free you now have options and for many this is only the beginning. You don’t have to have millions to be rich.
Do you have a quote you think should be featured? Email me today!
CBB Google Search Laughs
Every week I get thousands of people visit Canadian Budget Binder because they did a search online and found my blog. Any spelling errors below are because I share with you the exact way they typed their search engine query to land on my blog. Some of them are serious and others are meant to have a laugh.
- Boyfriend complains about spending money on me– Maybe you two should have a talk
- Can you use SCOP at the beer store?– You can try but they’ll likely just laugh at you.
- Facebook pages for the Rich– Wouldn’t shock me if you found one.
- Free Pretty Excel Budget Templates– Really? The colour and prettiness of your budget matters?
That’s all the fun for this week, thanks for dropping by.
See Ya!
-Mr.CBB
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- The Saturday Weekend Review #173: Fun Frugal Adventures for the Victoria Long Weekend
- The Saturday Weekend Review #174: Why Personal Touch Matters When Selling Your House
- The Saturday Weekend Review #175: How to Host A Community Garage Sale Successfully
That’s quite a story. Unfortunately, she’s probably not alone in her experience.
As a parent, I do worry about whether I am teaching my children how to be financially responsible. It’s horrible to think of your child getting into that situation, especially if you think you’ve been teaching them about money all along.
You have motivated me to rethink how I am teaching my kids about money.
Thank you.
It’s really fine to commit financial mistakes especially when you are a starter in managing financial matters and as long as it’s a simple mistake. What you have to keep in mind is that you should learn from it and make progress each day because one day, you’ll just realize that you have come so far and learned so many things in financial management.
This is very true Jayson.