Relationships

Dating, career, life and true love: The bundle exposed

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By: Katrina

Dealing With What Life Hands You

We all want our dreams to be bundled up into some sort of fairy tale of a life but who are we kidding, no one has the perfect relationship, career, family all bundled into one. I always dreamed of one day having the perfect family, a couple of kids and a hardworking husband whose family meant the world to him.

While we all know life doesn’t always go as we hope it will and it’s without a doubt that we must deal with road bumps along the way. Divorce is an emotionally and mentally draining experience and if you’ve been through it once it’s not likely something you want to experience again. Healing and picking yourself up from the emotional roller coaster of a divorce takes time and when kids are involved it can be even harder to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Dating

I’m sure others will agree that being a single mom or a single dad makes dating interesting and harder to do especially when you work full-time and are sleep deprived. Going on that first date after divorce is not always easy because there is so much to think about.

  • How long do you wait to introduce your new partner to the kids?
  • How do you date without it affecting the kids if things don’t work out?
  • How do you find the time to date in your busy life of homework, extra-curricular activities and work?

I don’t know how to answer all these questions quite yet, which is a good reminder for myself that I am not ready to date although I know with some soul-searching in time I will be able to make that first step into the dating scene once again.

Getting to where we are was hard work not only financially, but mentally and emotionally as well. I am not ready to risk losing what we’ve worked so hard for although next time around I know exactly what I’m looking for in a man and I won’t settle for no less. Dating after a divorce with children means I have to not only think about myself but my children as well because I love them so deeply.

 My money, my decisions

We all know money doesn’t buy happiness, but we do know it sure is helpful to have enough of it. Providing for three of us solely on one income has been challenge, but a challenge I have enjoyed day after day. Mr. CBB opened my eyes to the world of budgeting , and a while back he featured a guest blog post from Alexa who blogs at Single Moms Income called “Three Best Things About Being Single When It comes to money” and in this post I felt like she was talking about me, my thoughts exactly and in many ways she was.

I decide what I do with my money, I am the only person standing in my way and I am the only one I have to depend on. I have money in savings for both the kids and myself which is something I would not have if I was still in my marriage. Saving for the kid’s future is a top priority and I’m looking forward to watching our savings continue to grow.

Routine

As tiring as it can be, being a single mom has become a way of life for me and at times I just walk the same path over and over until it’s bed time and lights out. Though having an extra set of hands around here and some companionship would be nice at times right now isn’t the time. I am a happy, independent person and I enjoy my space, our schedule and our routines which have brought us closer together as a family.

Adding another person in the mix that may throw everything off terrifies me although I know I have to work through my anxieties of falling in love again with the right man. I want to make sure he understands our life as a little family and that it’s important for us to work together to keep the flow of our daily life continuous so that it doesn’t cause too big of a disruption for any of us.

True Love

What is true love?

We all want to know what true love feels like. I know that meeting “the one” special guy that I will spend the rest of my life with will be apparent this time around. I know that he will take my breath away, he will treat me like a woman should be treated and he will expect no less from me.

I want to find true love and hopefully one day I will although we often find true love in spots we never thought in a million years someone would be hiding and take a piece of our heart .I dream of one day having a companion, a best friend and role model for my kids.

I crave someone who can put a smile on my face and who is always there to lend a helping hand and wrap his strong arms around me when I need him near me the most. I want a man who is proud to tell the world he is in love with me and that I am his forever.

His actions should speak louder than words and as much as I desire all of this he deserves it just the same from me. I know what I want in my life and a life partner is one thing, but jumping the gun and dating before I am ready for the sake of a companionship and someone to talk to isn’t worth what it may affect in my life, my kids life, our routine and ultimately our happiness. I’m confident I will find true love one day and I am okay waiting for it.

When I’m ready to date I will know when I meet Mr. Right (for the three of us) because the thought of dating won’t seem like so much work. Dating should be simple and the bond between two people should happen naturally. There shouldn’t be any guessing games because if someone is really falling head over heels in love with you they will do anything to be with you and spend time with you, no excuses.

I know that the one date that I go on where I am attracted to the guy and it doesn’t seem like a date rather a union of simplicity then I might be on to something special. If we are able to walk and talk and our hands just happen to meet then you know that love is in the air. Until my true love makes his debut in my life, I’m happy with the way things are.

The bundle exposed encompasses all the love and tragedies involved with relationships and how life has a funny way of bringing people together but they need to work on keeping it together.

Do you have any tips for dating after a divorce?

katrina cbb

Post Contribution: 

Katrina is regular contributor for Canadian Budget Binder and is as passionate about personal finance as she is gardening. Katrina is a horticulture graduate with over 10 years experience with landscaping and greenhouse production.

Her goal is to share her knowledge and experiences blogging about gardening and her continued passion for personal finance in hopes of motivating others. While being a single mom of two and an in-store marketing representative for major retail shops she also runs her own Landscaping Services in Southwestern Ontario.

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4 Comments

  1. It’s so hard being a single mom day in and day out!!! Our daughter is running that as well. She has been a single Mom right from Day one with our grandson. He is her priority and always has been and that is the way it has to be. He does see his father, supervised access only, enough said there. Our grandson has lots of honorary Aunties and a few uncles plus his two Uncles here for spoiling privileges…. He is much loved and he knows it. Somewhere out there is some one who will love both of them, hopefully they find each other…..
    This was a great article Katrina, good luck finding some one to love you and the children….you all deserve it!!!

  2. Nice post Katrina! My personal experience with this is going through my parents divorce when I was 16 and seeing them wade through what they were looking for and wanting. I know it’s not easy, but am confident that when you’re ready the right man will be there and it will be clear. Like Mary said, take each day as it comes and enjoy them. 🙂

  3. Katrina, I really enjoyed your post!

    I remember being hesitant to start dating again post-divorce. It’s funny how my hubby and I met through friends and he was a friend to me for years and years before I ever thought of him romantically. On some of the worst days of my life…when Mom died, when I had some serious surgery, when I was badly injured in a car accident…he was there as my friend to help me through the rough times.

    He knew from the start how he felt about me when I look back honestly but he waited patiently for the right time, for me to complete my grieving and healing process, to rebuild myself and into the strong & confident lady I wanted to be & for me to be ready to take on new dreams and challenges before finally being ready to see the gem of a man that was right in front of me. Little did I know, he was loving me and giving me what I needed right from the start. I see that now.

    I believe that when and if you are ready, the man of your dreams will present himself. If you choose to remain single…that’s perfect too. We go through this life but once, so it’s important to take each day as it comes and really enjoy your journey … don’t forget to reach for the stars that are your new dreams! 😀

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