What Women Want In A Man And It’s Not Often Money
YoUr eYes, sMiLe, And The Way You Make Me Feel Is Why I Love You
Have you ever met a couple and thought, “why is he with her?” or “why is she with him?”
It must be money.
Some people believe that at some point we have to buckle down and decide what we want from life in the love department.
For those of you who just want to live life and treat people with kindness you will understand when I say, Who really cares.
Love Is Love And Money Is Money = Imagine That
Frankly, I don’t care why other people want to date each other, to each their own.
Remember that movie, “What Women Want” in 2008 starring Helen Hunt and Mel Gibson?
Yes, Mrs. CBB had me watch it along with every Twilight movie going. Did I mention I was a fan of the Young and The Restless, all her doing?
Well, it’s true women just don’t want men with a big bank account because money can be earned and saved.
You’re not supposed to be falling in love with fame, fortune, and who your name is associated with it.
Sadly, it happens all of the time whether it’s the girl and guy next door or the PR couples in Hollywood.
For some men and women who want to stay relevant they will continue to partner with fame and fortune but for others not so much.
Someone like myself for example who wants to live a simple life fell in love with a woman half-way across the world.
The I’m Going To Get It Done Relationship Guy
Women want more than just a hot body, money, and a man who can go all night in the bedroom.
They want a gentleman with brains who knows how to treat her right but also has goals in life and works towards them.
Have you ever met the guy who was going to do something but forgot and never got back to it? I have me. I confess that’s me sometimes.
I put too much on my plate and for some women who are uber-organized like my wife it bugs her and I don’t blame her.
That’s why over the years I’ve set the blog aside and work and put family first and making sure chores get completed.
Independent Women Are Everywhere
Money can be earned, that’s right and more women today are independent and don’t need cowboy money which is a whole new sexy.
Women bosses don’t need men to feed them, dress them, or put a roof over their heads because they’ve taken control of the wheel.
Whether women work from home, start a business, or a blog to earn extra cash they are taking advantage of stepping it up.
You will be surprised how many women find dating frugal men are sexy because they understand the point of financial independence.
Money Motivated Relationship
Being upfront about finance before a relationship gets serious is something I feel is important for every couple.
I know we all say that we fall in love for every other reason but money however there is an influence.
The influence falls somewhere between eating Kraft Dinner forever or someone willing to work on their financial health.
You can date a man or woman who has debt and willing to work on becoming debt-free or stick with the I’ll get to it guy or gal.
Money is high up the list of reltionship wreckers so there is no time to be shy when moving to the next level in a relationship.
Public Relations Relationships
If you chase someone just for money or status you will be disappointed when it falls apart.
Let me explain before you read any further that you don’t have to be a movie star or famous person.
A person may be rich in the city you live in and often in the news for various reasons.
There are men and women who will continue dating someone for the luxury but living a sad life.
As mentioned famous people do this all the time to help their public relations numbers jump into the millions.
It’s a way of showing the world what they have, who they are dating, and look how rich and noticeable when we are together.
They headline all the news and papparazzi follow them like flies just to get the first shot or the right shot.
Is there love? Who knows but if it’s PR, likely not.
Older Doesn’t Mean Richer Younger Doesn’t Mean Better
We know someone who moved to America in his 30’s to date a woman in her 50’s only because she had lots of money.
He has no love for her but wanted to live the no effort required life.
Besides that, he gets to say that she’s his girlfriend and ride in front seat of luxury.
Another person we know is in her 40’s dating men in their 60’s who pay for her botox and other procedures.
She hops from man to man and although we don’t judge her this is not uncommon for men and women.
Compatible Relationships
There’s a fine line between love and happiness and being cheap/frugal in the beginning stages based on compatibility.
I flew back and forth to Canada and brought my wife all over the UK and it cost me a pretty penny but it was worth it.
However, I wasn’t buying her jewellery, fancy clothes, namebrand perfumes, or taking her out for expensive dinners.
I was simply spending time with her doing something we both love and that’s being together.
If you live by the budget you should leave room for entertainment especially if you are single but more importantly if you’re married.
I’m aware that this is just impossible to do for some people but in time as bills get paid you’ll have a surplus.
It’s important to be yourself when dating so the other person knows what they are getting themselves into.
I also don’t think you need to take your date to MacDonald’s unless he/she really wants a Big Mac.
Ideally, if you’ve been talking for a while you’ll know what she likes to eat so just make reservations at a local restaurant.
Relationship Intentions
If men have no intention to want more from a woman then why do they bother dating them? Furthermore, they complain about how high maintenance they are and draining them of cash flow?
So, how do men get from point A (seeing a woman they are interested in) to point B (dating her)?
Well for the men that are shy they have their wing man but for those men that aren’t shy like me they go it alone like a prince calling for his lady (ya right but something like that).
It’s also common now for men and women to find love by trying on-line dating sites.
It’s easier to be yourself behind a screen while getting to know someone while costing you nothing until you ask her on a date.
People who say online dating services are rubbish make me laugh because if you think meeting someone in a bar is any different you are sadly mistaken.
Think about it. No matter where you meet someone they can be whoever they think you want them to be.
I’m no Hitch but I certainly feel like it sometimes as my friends can be real tossers in the dating department.
I guess I’m what they call a wing man but not by definition as I think it’s silly.
Money Never Wins At Love
Some men think money is the way to a woman’s heart and they are wrong unless they find women who are looking for men to spend.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder but it’s not only what’s on the outside it’s what’s in your heart that counts.
Somehow, many people tend to forget this and pay for it down the road with costly divorce battles.
So when my friends go on about the amount of money they spend on women who never come back I ask them these questions depending on the stage of the dating rigamarole…
- Do you want to be in a real relationship?
- What are your goals?
- What do you want from a woman?
- Are you happy where you are in your life and career?
- What were you attracted to when you noticed her?
- Did you offer to purchase her a beverage?
- Did you chat her up?
- Did you compliment her? Did you make her feel special?
- Were you romantic?
- Did you look her in the eyes or were you more interested in strawberry creams?
- Did you act clingy?
- Did you talk about your exes?
- Did you genuinely want to get to know her more or just shag her?
Be Yourself In A Relationship
Sometimes men can be right plonkers when it comes to women and dating but need to remember that who you claim to be should be who you really are.
We forget that it has to be more than just physical attractiveness that draws us to life long partners.
In all real men and women are very different and money in relationships is a big issue.
If you try to be someone you are not when you meet someone eventually the real you will come out.
Whether you are a saver or a spender eventually talking about it with a potential partner is very important.
You don’t need to be cheap when dating, just use your brains, and be creative.
Women only want to be loved and appreciated just like the next guy, after all, money can be made yet love is serendipity.
Discussion: When you and your spouse/partner were dating what did you really want?
My hubby had a really good job, house, vehicle, lots of big boy toys when we got together. Then he got super sick when we were together less than a year, operations followed and he lost the job, the house and the extra toys ( kept the vehicle) bankruptcy followed. Love stayed. I had a job, house and vehicle of my own, so we made it together. His health returned. We stayed together because we were on the same page, worked as a team, had honest communication and loved each other.
Hi Cynthia,
Thanks for sharing a bit of your story. I would love to share it in more detail on the blog in a post if you are interested? If so, can you email me at canadianbudgetbinder@yahoo.ca I would like to share how you overcame the hurdles and where you are at now.
I really found this specific blog , âWhat Most Women Want In A Man and Its Not Always
Money $ « Canadian Budget Binderâ, exceptionally entertaining
and the post was in fact a wonderful read. Thanks,Bessie
My step-mom has always said that “if you marry for money, you’ll end up earning it,” and I think she’s right. Money’s a big part of successful relationship building but it shouldn’t be the starting point.
Truth is that after 31 years of marriage, my dating days are a distant (but fond) memory. I do remember that what drew me to my husband was his generosity of spirit (which means kindness, compassion, and empathy, not an open wallet!), his sense of fun, and his enthusiasm for life.
What I’ve learned in the ensuing years of my marriage is that love may be what starts a marriage but, in the long run, what keeps it going is pragmatism. You have to accept that there are going to be times when you and your partner are headed in different directions…and be willing to work through them, times when you really won’t like each other…and be willing to work through them, times when you’re ill, or tired, or discouraged, or angry…and be willing to work through them. You also both need to recognize that marriage is a business partnership and that, like every other kind of business partnership, you need to set, revisit, and frequently discuss your goals in order to succeed.
Well said Beth… I couldn’t have said it better but it is true. Those that go after money will work for it. Sounds like you and your husband have learned what works and doesn’t and what you both need to do to keep that business partnership alive. Good For you.
My first date with my wife was a wallet saving picnic in the park while painting landscapes. It was completely unintentional. I’ve always tried to do things that aren’t the “usual” kind of dates. Luckily, it often involves little use of money.
My husband and I still have sparks after 23 years that being said I love how handy, resourceful and talented he is…..I’m a cheap date and he’s just the guy to take me out. We both love having scrambled eggs for dinner but we know when its important to buy a nice bottle of wine and splurge a little too when appropriate. He likes that I’m good at packing lunches and making homemade detergent and I like that he finds wood on the side of the road and builds me shelves its a good match for us….however it would not work if we both needed the other to shower each other with gifts to feel good we are just not hard wired that way.
Yes just like Mrs. CBB and I we know when to splurge and when we can just chill out and save some cash. It makes sense if we both are on the same path. Cheers Mr.CBB
I totally think being frugal is an attractive quality in a man, because it means he values money and won’t blow it if start to share our finances.
It’s always nice to hear what the ladies think on this topic. Do you think men like frugal women? Thanks for commenting… Cheers Mr.CBB
Great post! My wife was similar when we dated, she’d always want me not to spend a lot of money. She was looking for creativity & spontaneity. Thankfully, after a while I finally got that through my thick skull and the rest is history as they say. 🙂
Yep, I go through that all the time but that’s ok we are on the same financial path and we both get it. That’s what’s more important. I’m not too concerned that my wife doesn’t want to spend $100 a month at the hair salon either. Cheers Mr.CBB
I think when we say “I can’t believe they are dating so and so,” it’s because one of them is mistreating the other…being controlling, etc. Anyway, I could never date a guy for just his money. In fact if a guy was to “showy” with his money, it would be a turnoff for me, just as someone would be if they were “cheap” (not frugal-big difference). I’m still single, and I think part of the reason is I’ve given no energy whatsoever to dating. I’ve been way too focused on my getting my career/finances to a place that makes me feel comfortable. Sad but true. I have had my crushes, but they haven’t turned out anything yet. Still hoping someday….
I think every person has their own definition of love and what it means to them and why they do what they do. Nothing is wrong unless it impacts your life in such a way that you are personally affected in a negative way. Keep on doing what you are doing if that’s what makes you happy. There is nothing wrong with focusing on career and finance if those are your goals. Cheers and thanks for dropping in mate! Mr.CBB
I don’t know. I’ve looked at two people before and thought, hey, she’s way too hot for him. Wonder what shade of crazy she is? But that’s mean. Even though it’s true. Mildly ashamed, here.
Thanks for writing this article. It seems like on PF blogs a lot of times people talk about why women want your money or how to get enough money to have a healthy relationship. I can’t attest for the entire female race, but I can tell you that personally, my romantic relationships have never, ever been about finances. Maybe that’s dumb of me, but I consider romance and bank accounts to be two entirely separate parts of reality; I’d take love over an easy life with someone I was apathetic towards any day of the week.
At the end of the day it’s what you feel in your heart and what your goals are in life. Everyone will be different and that’s why I did the post. Not all women are after money..at least mine wasn’t! Cheers Mr.CBB
I’ve never dated anybody for their money. In-fact I was the spender when I starting dating my wife and she was EXTREMELY frugal. In hindsight it was a huge blessing as I really didn’t and don’t have to spend money on her to make her happy. I never understand why people only chase money…it’s not going to end well (typically).
Same here with Mrs.CBB she doesn’t want flowers or chocolates in fact if I come home with them she will tell me to bring them back lol. Money does not create love, love creates love… but some people keep the blinders on until it’s too late. Cheers Mr.CBB
I dated the wrong guy for almost 6 years, so when I met my current fiance, we were friends for a while. I had gotten out of the other relationship a few months prior and happend to meet my fiance online. We played a mutual game and didn’t know the other’s gender for a while. We were friends first and foremost!
Isn’t it nice to just be you in and then it blosoms into something else. That’s what Mrs.CBB and I were like and it’s been a VERY Happy Marriage and we do want to grow old together. Life is too short to mess about. I’m here to see the world while I can and spend it with someone who wants to be with me and I want to be with her. Sure I have women always flirting with me but it’s not because of knowing who I am they just see the outside of me and love my accent. That means nothing to me.. it’s what’s inside that counts. Cheers Mr.CBB
If you are looking for money, don’t marry a teacher! I dated every wrong guy for a long time. When you find the right one, I think you just know. My mother made sure my sister and I got an education so we could support ourselves. The thought of dating or marrying for money never crossed my mind.
I was the same way. It was more important for me to be independant and support myself same with Mrs.CBB and maybe that’s why we get on so well. The hard part is when people depend on someone for the money. An education is one of the most important..after you land your job and make the money then worry about love although when I moved to Canada my University credentials needed to be challenged here and I said stuff it and went back again for another round of 5 years…. but worth it because now I have new skills that will be with me forever and that are sought after all over Canada!! Cheers Mr.CBB
Love your article. i love when a man cooks for me. It doesn’t have to be fancy just good. The effort that was taken is what counts. After 39 years of marriage, I still love when my husband brings me home something not for any reason than just because he knew that I would like it be it a cupcake or a funny card or book. It also goes both ways. Letting him know that he is special in your eyes is essential for any relationship.
Funny you mention that because Mrs.CBB and I were talking about that last night. Coming out of Metro we noticed a father with his young daughter around 3 who had a huge bouquet of flowers in her hands. She could hardly see where she was going so we chuckled but realized that he was likely bringing them home to his wife and that was sweet.
Great article 🙂
My hubby and I met on plentyoffish.com!
I really enjoyed this sentence…”Well men tend to talk more about women they don’t have feelings for than they do for women they do have feelings for.” I’ve never thought about it before but it is sooooo true! lol
When Ken and I were dating, what did I really want? That’s a great question…I was looking for someone with a lot of qualities opposite to my ex husband for one. Someone that made me laugh, was affectionate, respectful, liked my family…none really had to do with money when I think about it lol.
I totally forgot about you and Ken on POF.. I might have to get you to share your story here if you are up for it…. what do you think? Let me know what you think…. and yes men talk but not about the one’s they care about… off limits!
Great article! I went out in the dating world with a sort list of personality traits I was looking for. The one that sealed the deal was when he stepped up and took the reins when I needed him to. Knowing I could count on him in good times and bad…had me sold!
They say “The Right Man Will Never Leave You, Never” If you know what you want, go after it! Cheers Mary… Mr.CBB