The Saturday Weekly Review

The Saturday Weekend Review #12- Is Public Intervention The New Norm?

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Weekend Review

Parenting is a topic that is controversial because all parents want to believe they are doing the best they can for their children in order to prepare them in this world.

I’ve talked about teaching children about money from a young age but apart from that the psychology behind why children do what they do is out of my realm of knowledge since we have no kids.

Last week I talked a bit about a child who took a backpack from her parents home with $20k inside and gave it to a friend who later handed it out at school.

Kids do strange things that we may never understand but how far should a parent go in order to dig deep into their child’s emotions to comprehend their actions and teach them a lesson.

I read this article about a 13-year-old girl in Crestview, Florida who lost her uncle in Afghanistan in 2011.

The child then started to act up, but it was how far the parents took the situation which surprised me.

Her parents felt like she gave up at home, at school and she became more defiant since she was so close to her uncle.

Although they tried other means to get through to their daughter such as grounding her, which didn’t work they were lost on what else to do.

So, they made her stand on a busy street corner in public, humiliating her by holding a sign in hopes of teaching her a lesson that read:

quote teenager sign parenting

The public took notice, people were taking pictures that ended up on Facebook as well the police showed up to make sure the child was OK.

The parents said they wanted to call the child out on being “selfish” , “self-centred” and “entitled” but many parents spoke up who were not happy by their chosen method of parenting.

Apparently the child was not traumatized and has improved since the incident.

How far do parents need to go with child discipline? This isn’t the first time we’ve read about parents humiliating their children to teach them a lesson.

Do some parents understand that the child might have underlying problems and that humiliating them is not solving the problem?

Maybe a “positive discipline” for teenagers should be implemented as opposed to something that might stay with them emotionally for a long time.

What happened to counselling your child or working with professionals such as medical experts and teachers or is this a thing of the past?  Crikey, they might as well have put her on stage in front of her peers.

There’s no doubt in my mind she is doing better after all of this.

It’s likely in part because of all the attention but she also doesn’t want to rub her parents the wrong way again because who knows what else they will do to discipline her or teach her a lesson. 

I don’t know maybe I’m just out of the parenting loop, then again I’m not a parent but I was once a child.

Public Intervention

Maybe children view this type of parenting as the new norm because of all the reality television programs we see on the tele or posts in social media so it’s acceptable in their minds. 

I can understand if the child was a consenting adult and wanted to go on a television show like “princess” for example to say I want to change because I have felt entitled all my life. I have dug myself a hole of debt, please put me on television for the world to see so I can learn my lesson and change my ways.

Although that tactic is on a bigger scale than a street corner it also seems to also work on Gail’s other show “Til Debt Do Us Part” where we see couple’s willing to go on national TV telling the world their dirty money secrets instead of behind closed doors. Does public intervention work better than what is provided in private?

Maybe the money is a motivator on these shows but for this couple their motivator was to teach their child a lesson while risking their child’s emotional response to their actions.

My point is, I believe in some cases people will do whatever it takes as a last resort if they feel they have no other options like these parents felt.

  • How far are you willing to go to teach your child a life lesson?
  • What would you have done differently here?
What’s Happening At The CBB House?

It’s been pretty quiet around here lately but the plants for our frugal garden seem to be sprouting on schedule so all we need now is to get rid of the snow so I can get outside and work on the landscaping. One fan did offer to landscape for free if I took over her weekly laundry chore at home. I thought that was a great deal since she makes extra money on the side with her skills in landscaping now if only I lived closer.

I told her the wife does say that I am the best darn “laundry-boy” she’s ever met, usually with a sultry voice. Maybe the wife is just trying to butter me up but I am pretty critical about how the wash is hung and folded.

Nothing eats me up like laundry that is folded incorrectly (which my wife is very good at doing) which is why I took over this chore. She says she finds it sexy when a man can wash and fold laundry the way I do, so there are perks involved men. I could only imagine what would happen if I took out the iron. *wink

Other than that I’ve done alot of training at work as they always like to invest in filling my brain with updates which is fine with me. I’m a big advocate of continuous improvement and learning.

What’s Happening With  Canadian Budget Binder?

Not alot going on with CBB although the e-book I co-wrote with my fellow personal finance Bloggers “The A-Z Of Saving Money” was released this past week which we are all excited about.

I hope you all get an opportunity to purchase this e-book and enjoy it as much as I do. My designer is working on the new blog design and I’m patiently waiting to hear back from him to check out his blog mock-up so we can toss more ideas around.

Hopefully we will have a new site soon! If you have any suggestions at all for the blog or something you would like to see please email me asap so I can consider them.

I’ve also installed a forum over on my Facebook page for the fans to communicate with each other, ask questions and general chit-chat. If all goes well I’ll think about a forum for Canadian Budget Binder so the fans have a place of their own.

My fans are my number one priority at Canadian Budget Binder because without all of you there would be no CBB! Thanks for your support!

 Canadian Budget Binder Blog Posts 

web search terms

Google Search terms really help me to understand what people are looking for at Canadian Budget Binder! Any typos below are simply how the person who searched Google and typed it in search incorrectly, or me ;-) Another week of thousands of search terms but only a few good ones worth mentioning.

Top Pick: How To Make A Positive Pregnancy Test- Now I’m going to go out on a limb and say she wants to have a baby pretty bad OR someone is trying to fool someone into thinking they are the baby daddy……

Top Search Terms:

  • Home Hardware Stores in Guatemala- I had no idea they had Home Hardware although we should just ask our friend Pauline who lives in Guatemala!
  • My husband smokes,how to save money on cigarettes in Ontario– QUIT! I know it’s easier said then done but there really is no cigarette coupons or deals that I am aware of unless you buy 3 packs for x amount of go to the Indian reserve for cheap smokes or some back of the truck shady person who sells them for cheap.
  • Can you actually get good clothes at Value Village? – Just go in and find out~ depends on what you define as “good”
  • I just paid off my OSAP can I get a new loan? – It’s like a revolving door isn’t it?
  • Do women always want a man with money? There are other qualities they look for but if you don’t have them money seems to work.
  • How can we make custard a food?– That’s like asking if we can turn a chocolate bar into a vegetable lol

Quote-Budget and Money

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  1. nope, no home hardware stores in Guatemala… just the local stuff…
    What a sad story, I would never ridicule my kids in such a way, that would leave lifelong traumas!

  2. I really do not like the idea of public humiliation for a child. I actually kind of like it for adults that have done something stupid but doing something like that can screw a kid up worse than they already are. That poor girl in the article was suffering from grief and most likely from a form of PTSD as well. Counseling would have most likely got her through it. I agree that in many cases getting a good counselor will help. I had to take my two youngest to counseling after a nasty separation and divorce. They needed some serious deprogramming from all the garbage that was pumped into their head. The counseling worked wonders!

  3. Thanks for the mention, and ya that story is crazy! Kids and especially teenagers are so sensitive to being embarrassed, the worst thing you could do is publicly humiliate them as their parent! Maybe talking to her and finding out what the real issue is would have been a better idea.

  4. Growing up myself and my 3 sisters I’m sure all put my parents through some unnecessasry stress but one thing I can say is I have parents who cared and looking back I don’t resent my parents for setting a curfew of midnight even when I was 18! it was never a strict curfew where we got in trouble for being a few minutes late, and occasionally if we wanted to stay out later it was usually allowed as long as we called. my dad always said to us….what can you do after midnight that you cant do before? multiple friends of mine could and would stay out all night with no call or not even go home until the next morning. my mom always said she couldnt sleep soundly until she knew we were all home, and if she was in bed we had to wake her to let her know we were home. i was always surprised by how many of my friends parents didnt care!

  5. We raised 3 kids, our daughter was the social butterfly and on occasion a handful. We didn’t scream at her or carry on that way but we sat down and talked about things with her and her brothers. If there was something more serious to deal with we still talked but we explained what we expected and what the punishment was going to be and why we were using that punishment. She had a hard time saying no to her friends, including one that didn’t get much in the way of discipline at home. So I was her ‘out’ with that girl. I still remember the time the girl wanted her to go somewhere and wouldn’t take no for an answer from our daughter as they talked on the kitchen phone. Our daughter said she’d ask if she could go to where ever, and she did, loud enough for the girl to hear the question. What the girl didn’t know was our girl was shaking her head and mouthing the word ‘no’ while asking. Of course I said no. Once the girls were off the phone i looked at my daughter and said’ the answer is no…. what was the question???’ She told me and said that the ‘friend’ wouldn’t accept no for an answer. The girl thought I was the meanest mom ever, and was glad I wasn’t her mom….. That makes two of us…… I do think that these so called reality shows are going too far in projecting what they call reality. These kids might watch it and just do not have the sense or maturity to know it’s all scripted….

  6. Mr CBB, I remember my parents trying all kinds of methods including counseling to curtail certain behaviors but none of them worked & I would just tell them what they wanted to hear to get them off my back. Now this was 40 years ago and my major crimes were that at 17 I had smoked and gotten drunk one night at a college function! Praise the lord, I was in college at a very young age – what did they expect?

    I was a very strong willed teenager, what can I say? I willingly admit nothing changed in what I said and did unless and until I wanted it to change.

    It sounds to me like those parents had a little version of me on their hands! Ever family has at least one rebel! LOL My sisters watched me do the direct butting of heads with my father and learned very quickly to just quietly just do these very same things but: A. don’t get caught and B. don’t argue the point if they did get caught. That’s not to say they fell right into line…they just got more discrete.

    I’ve always been a head first, full steam ahead kind gal and it appears that so was this child. She did precisely WHAT she wanted to do, precisely WHEN she chose to do it and quit exactly WHEN it served her needs. #CBB

  7. Well, everyone has their own opinion and I don’t think that those parents necessarily did such a bad thing. I hope she learned from it. Too many teenagers these days feel and act the way she does, and believe me, I know as I work in a high school with 2200 students. There are many that behave as the one mentioned in the story. They do learn as they get to grade 12 usually. I followed a grade 9 group the last four years and now in grade 12 they have grown into young adults that behave much better. I think that instilling good values in your child and making sure they don’t fall into the wrong peer group can help make them a little more tolerable during those teenage years lol 😀 #CBB

  8. I read the story also about the 13-year old. Given that she started acting up after the horrible experience of losing her beloved uncle, it seems to me that humiliation was not the way to go here. Did that really help to get to the root of the problem? Our 13-year-old went a bit of a rebellion “binge” after hubby was laid off in 2010. We tackled the problem with lots of love and grace, lots of talking about how she was feeling, and although we did give her a bit of leash on outbursts and stuff, we also made it clear that it’s not okay to yell at or hurt others just because you’re in pain. It’s been a long process, but she’s getting better every day. Supporting your children through troubling times takes lots of love, patience and discipline too. But often it’s a matter of just learning to balance the 3, and getting outside help if needed.

  9. I agree about the girl with the sign! I even wrote about it on my blog yesterday. So sad for her that her parents don’t have better discipline ideas, or the compassion to work it out differently.

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