FINANCIALLY SMART WOMEN FINISH RICH AND IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT MONEY
We can add the value “financially stable” or money smart to the list of traits that men are looking for in a woman while in the midst of romancing a relationship. In the past I’ve blogged about finding a frugal man but today I want to focus on men finding a woman who is of the same financial mindset.
It may seem like the bottom of the barrel for most of you but for those men who value money the last thing they want is a partner to blow it all away. This is where it’s important to be compatible in terms of wants, needs and desires and why it’s so important to communicate.
It doesn’t matter if you are a stay at home mom, stay at home wife or a career woman the money becomes one when you tie the knot. This is why some men are cautious about who they choose to date and for good reason. If a man finds his woman is spending too much money leaving them stuck to pay the bills or unable to save for retirement or to do things with the family it can cause huge strain on the relationship.
Let’s talk about what it means to be Money Smart
These days some men want to weed out the spenders and welcome the savers because they know that life with little to no debt means a life with less financial worry and stress. On the flip side some women are just as cautious. I often say you can love fashion, make-up, entertainment and things that make you feel happy inside when you spend money but in the end someone is paying the bill.
I get tonnes of searches on Canadian Budget Binder seeking advice about how to control husbands and wives who are spending too much money. It can become a deal breaker in a relationship where the guy puts the brakes on or if it happens after marriage it can become a great source of stress, especially if the couple is not communicating their feelings.
Whether the woman works or not men may desire her to be money smart because how else will they provide stability for each other in the relationship. Mind you not every man is money smart either but for this post I’m talking on behalf of the men out there that are clingy with their money and want to make sure that the women they date are not going to filter it through the mall every week. This stuff adds up.
Do men like intelligent women? Well I’m sure they do but what they like more is a woman who doesn’t blow money before it’s even made. I was never particularly interested in a woman who didn’t know how to save or stay out of debt. That wouldn’t have worked in my relationship world because I was brought up to understand money from a young age which framed my views on finance.
You don’t have to be drop dead gorgeous with a 6-figure income but financial common sense goes a long way for both men and women. A good personality is just as important as responsibility for money or a drive to be successful at something they are passionate about. Show off that ambition because it’s sexy. You may have passion for hobbies such as gardening, cooking, blogging or even your career and that’s what it’s all about not just earning money. Passion.
Every man has their “Ideal Woman” and I can bet you that going into debt for love isn’t a priority although some men and women don’t mind taking on someone else’s debt when dating. I know some of you reading this may think I’m too harsh on those with debt but there are different types of debt and how they are created is just as important to how they will be paid back.
When you marry someone you marry their debt so if you don’t have plans to spend your life working a bit harder to pay for something you had no part in then that’s your decision. Educational debt is a good debt that likely will help someone land the career they dreamed of which means the money is a part of generating income for the family. That is provided they are using the degree or diploma in the intended field.
A while back I wrote a popular blog post for the women about how to spot a sexy frugal man because there are women who want a money smart man. They want the comfort of knowing they aren’t going to be sitting in a meeting waiting for the consolidated debt or bankruptcy talk further down the road. This post sparked the interest of a man who emailed me about how to go about looking for a sexy frugal woman. He has lots of cash but was sick of the money hungry women who would use him to buy stuff for them. What I didn’t explain is how to find them which I wanted to do today.
What do men value in a potential partner?
Just because someone is successful doesn’t mean they are money smart. Plenty of high earners blow money just as fast as they obtain it. So how on earth can you connect with a money smart woman without coming off as shallow and money hungry? It’s really not about money hunger it’s about the future and finding someone who is compatible with your financial views.
Men value equally the same things that women value but it’s 2016 and money is tight, debt-loads are higher, raises are slim and jobs are hard to come by. Money is a colossal relationship topic and many people who are out on a date DO make that one topic they take on early on in the dating game. Why? There’s no point continuing if finding a money smart partner is high up on your list or even tops your list. You won’t be happy and it will simply end in disaster.
Don’t fool yourself. It’s not easy to change money habits but it is possible. The problem is most people don’t care to stick around to find out. It’s probably best because no sense building a heart of love and then crushing emotions.
If I asked you what you valued in a partner I bet it would be different from the next person I ask. If I ask you if you’d like a partner who is money smart and you said no, I’d be shocked. Keep in mind, it has nothing to do with how much money you earn, it’s how you save it.
You can be trustworthy, reliable, sociable, energetic, flexible, relaxed, organized, emotionally stable, curious and so on but financial stability should be factored in there at some point before the relationship begins.
Maybe you have fallen in love with someone who is rubbish with money but how do you deal with this? Well, there’s no easy answer apart from either you continue with the relationship and take what comes your way or you back away, be honest and let her know why.
Maybe you can work on her spending and saving habits while being friends first or if it doesn’t work out at least you have a new friend for life. Teach her how to budget and find ways to inspire her to save if she is interested. You can’t force finance on anyone and you don’t want to make them feel guilty for having debt so choose your words wisely. Not everyone is in debt because they spend money like water.You have to be happy with yourself before you can fully give yourself to another human being. I believe this wholeheartedly.
Let’s talk about some ways a man can spot or chat up a money smart woman who is not cheap but money conscious with a sense of debt freedom. Remember this is hit or miss but it will give you a good idea of what might be going on with her pocketbook. Your best route is always through communication.
She likes to shop thrift stores
Just because someone is shopping at the thrift store doesn’t mean they are in debt or not money smart. Thrift stores are fabulous for finding antiques and other vintage and used items for far less than you can retail.
When I see a woman shopping at a second-hand shop I immediately think she is mindful of her money either because it is limited or she wants to pay less than retail. That’s money smart to me. Again, it’s not about being rich or poor. Money smart is a state of mind not what your account balance says.
A woman doesn’t have to have every one of these traits below to be considered money smart. She may have one, two or a few but you have to decide what’s most important to you. Whether you choose to chat up a woman you meet in public or someone you are starting to date you can easily find out all you need to know by watching the signs, asking the right questions and sharing personal experiences.
She may find out you are money smart and run because you are not the man she is looking for. You may also find that she doesn’t care if you blow money and have debt which is also fine if you both accept this going into the relationship. Think long-term as well and don’t walk in with just your heart attached to your sleeve either.
She looks over the reduced food rack
There’s nothing wrong with buying products at the grocery store that are reduced in price, blow-out sale or using coupons and coupon apps. All of these money saving outlets scream money smart woman. I know many women who love the thrill of saving money at the grocery store.
I also know women who could care less about grocery shopping and walk out with massive food bills. Next to the mortgage/rent and a vehicle if you own one the grocery budget is one of the highest of them all. Get that grocery budget under control and you can funnel money into other areas of your budget.
No Smart Phone
Nothing speaks volumes than a woman without a smart phone. Just about everyone you see young and old these days have their heads buried in their cell phone. If a woman says they don’t own one because they don’t care too because they’re not interested then you’re headed in the right direction.
Keep in mind some women don’t have a home phone but rather a cell phone although you can bet she’s paying more to carry that technology around with her than to simply check messages when she gets home. You also may want to consider that she has a cell phone from her employer which is paid for. Ask leading questions to find the burning answers you want.
She’s simple yet elegant
I find women who are simple by the way they dress, do their hair, make-up and nails to be more on the less maintenance side. With less that means fewer trips to spend money to keep up with the ongoing fashion “look” with the latest trends. There’s a fine line between sexy, simple and elegant. Find a balance and make it work especially if you can find what compliments you at a bargain price.
She talks about money freely
If you meet a woman in public for the first time and somehow the topic of money pops up take that opportunity and run with it. You don’t know her but feed off of her questions and answers and see how much you can find out about her financial smarts. Typically if a woman has no problem talking to you about money and finances openly you can bet she is interested in keeping debt at bay and savings growing.
She borrows books from the library
I don’t know what it is about people who buy books besides they don’t have to wait to read it as the library may only get one copy. That and it may take some time to hit the library shelf. I see people who have tonnes of books that they bought at Chapters for ridiculous amounts of money when they could have likely borrowed one for free that would have satisfied their craving for reading.
My mum reads at least a book every few days and she either buys them for under $.50 each, gets them free, given to her or borrows them from the library. When I see a woman in the library I find that attractive, smart and know that she likely has patience because reading brings you to a whole other place of calmness. Maybe I’m reading too much into the library ideal but for me this is how I view it.
She owns a home
This is not a deal breaker by any means. Owning a home whether it is a condo, townhouse or detached when you are single this is a good sign that you are money smart. I’m not talking just about paying your bills but having the ability to secure a mortgage, pay city taxes and maintain the home. You don’t have these expenses when you rent. If you don’t pay the rent you get kicked out. If you don’t pay your mortgage you can lose everything.
Keep in mind that she may have inherited money or was given money on the premise she pay it back. If someone trusted her to lend her money to help her get a house then she likely has good financial sense.
Related: Is it better to rent or own a house?
You might meet a woman who is money smart but rents because she has no intention of ever owning a home because she doesn’t want to. It’s important to find out what matters to you most and if you want to own a home then you need to know what her feelings are before moving on in the relationship.
Date ideas are not about dollar signs
Both men and women should be treated equal and according to what they can afford. There’s no point in spoiling a woman if you can’t afford it. Teasing a woman with money you don’t have is not a smart way to start a potential relationship especially if she is a spender or likes to always be pampered.
These days it’s not just the man who comes up with ideas on where to go for a date. The woman has just as much say and if she chimes in with wanting to go for dinner at a family restaurant and then a walk on the beach or boardwalk followed by a coffee at the local Tim Horton’s, she may be a keeper.
If she wants to visit a high-end couples spa followed by the opera and a pricey restaurant you may want to tap into her financial mindset just to see how important the frosted life is to her. You may find this is too much for you and call it quits unless of course you have the money to keep it going. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t worry about her blowing cash either. It’s still very critical.
Take the relationship to the front door or to the next level
Nothing in life is for certain but what you can do is pave the way when you say yes or no to dating a woman who is or isn’t money smart. Use your communications skills to the highest level, don’t be shy and remember you are in charge of your financial destiny.
It’s your choice. Do what works for you and never settle for less if your gut feeling is telling you it’s not what you desire.
Would you want a woman who is money smart?
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