Estimated reading time: 9 minutes
Modern society’s views have changed, but how far is too far before we forget old-fashioned values?
Common Sense and Courtesy Is Not Old News, Just Old-Fashioned Values That Not Everyone Embraces.
It seems everyone is switching things up these days, but at some point, many revert to the old-fashioned ways of doing things because they were the best way.
When I’m in the kitchen creating a new recipe, in the back of my mind, I always think about the old-fashioned way when my parents and grandparents were younger.
Today, if you want to talk to someone, jump on social media or text someone rather than pick up the phone or send a letter in the post.
Spending money to have fun has become more important than a simple walk on the beach or wooded trails to enjoy nature and spend time with a loved one, friends, or family.
Money seems to make the world go round, but that’s all it does; it goes round and doesn’t know when to stop.
Define Old-Fashioned Values
Old-fashioned values are appreciated and relevant, but not like they used to be.
Using old-fashioned values is how my parents taught me to be the best person I could be.
I was taught to respect everyone and apologize when I made a mistake.
A value that I believe gets blindsided by money is to help when needed without expectations.
There’s a difference between dropping a friend off at the shop because his/her car broke down and lending them money to fix it.
Helping Others
Our neighbour is dying of lung cancer and in the hospital with his wife running ragged, caring for everything.
We don’t talk much to our neighbours, but they are a friendly family who keeps to themselves.
This past summer, I noticed the tree on their property had branches leaning on top of our roof.
One afternoon I noticed that our joining wood fence was leaning over to one side and needed work.
The summer before, I had asked if he wanted to help preserve the fence, and he said no to chipping in $50, so I never said much again.
HE CAME OVER TO TALK TO ME when I landscaped my front property this summer.
Watching me move those huge landscaping rocks, he said there was no way he could ever do that.
I figured he meant he was too old, and that was it.
We discussed the fence post, and he said he would chip in to get a new one.
I said I’d do the work since he didn’t look very well, and he was ok with that.
He was dying of lung cancer, which I later learned is why he rarely came outside.
Kindness Day Is Every Day
We had a breakthrough moment as neighbours during that conversation.
It reminded me how my parents taught me to say hello, good-bye, and good morning and respect others like I want them to treat me.
Teaching kids values when they are young, like my parents did, will take them far in life.
It may not come to us right away, but sometimes it’s a particular situation that will remind us what our parents wanted us to carry forward.
For others, well, they are genuinely on top of their game regarding courtesy and respect, and I commend them.
I’ve since gone on my roof and cut the branches of his tree for him and to protect my roof.
His wife came over to knock on our door to ask for help the other day.
My wife and I were surprised, but she told us she had exhausted her circle and needed a favour from us.
She said she spent all her time at the hospital with her husband and needed to leave a key with us.
A Few Minutes Of Your Day Is A Lifesaver For Someone Else
If we were going to be home, there would be a company passing by to bring medical equipment to the house for her husband.
She needed someone to take the medical equipment and put it in the house so it would be safe.
You could see the pain and hurt and tiredness in her darkened eyes.
She said the house is a mess, and her son is in there, but she doesn’t have time to deal with that right now.
He’s old enough to be left on his own, so I’m assuming it was the cleaning she was talking about.
My wife looked her in the eyes and said, “Come here, give me a hug,” and whispered in her ear, ” Please let me know.
I think our neighbour wanted to cry, but she held back.
She thanked us repeatedly, and we said don’t mention it; we are glad to help.
Neighbors Helping Neighbours
Now, the neighbours on either side of us have also come together because they want to help them.
They want to know how he is doing and what they can do to make life a bit easier for them.
One lady offered to go in and clean her house for her and cook meals if needed or do her grocery shopping.
Our other neighbour wants to send a card to say they are thinking about them during this painful time.
He quit smoking ten years ago, but it was too late; the damage had already been done.
I am so thankful every day that I had the strength to quit smoking.
I know many people get lung cancer for various reasons, and others who have never smoked a day get it.
I’m just happy that I quit knowing that it can hurt me, and I’ve taken that risk out of the picture now.
Not Everything Is Valued By Money
I remember when Mrs. CBB and I were on holiday in the winter and returned to a snowy blizzard.
When we pulled onto our street, we noticed our neighbour had snowplowed our driveway.
He knew we were away and wanted to help, which did bring a tear to my eye.
So many people are in a rush these days that the small things mean nothing.
If they find the time to do something or help someone, they want a monetary return for their Time.
Not everything has to be valued by money.
This past weekend, the neighbour who shovelled our drive wanted to know if I could feed his cat for a few days.
He went planning a few nights of fun on the town with his friends for the weekend.
I had no problems doing that, and it was nice to give back, and it feels good.
It’s just another reason why volunteering is a big part of their lives because of the ‘feel good’ feeling you get making people smile.
You may also know that your actions will make someone’s day even if you’ve never met them.
Using Manners
Have you noticed how many people don’t have a minute to live when driving?
How often do you let someone in when traffic is backed up or leave a space so a vehicle can pull out onto the road?
I get frustrated when drivers block exits at intersections instead of backing up to leave a gap so they can pull out while waiting for a red light.
That’s common courtesy, but I’ve been hard-pressed to see it happen, let alone drivers giving thanks.
There never seems to be enough time for our lives anymore.
Is that the truth, or are we not planning our time wisely these days, especially with technology back in the day that didn’t exist?
How often have you allowed someone with a couple of items in line at the grocery store to go ahead of you?
Would you give up your seat on a bus for a pregnant woman, an elderly person, or someone with a disability?
The door opens when the opportunity presents itself, and everyone can because that is the right thing to do.
I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had doors slammed in my face or people just not caring about who is behind them.
People ignore me when I say good morning as if I’m someone with an agenda, and smiling for some is a thing of the past.
Manners should be free to give and to get.
Simplicity Of Core Values
Another area of value comes in the form of conveniences in our lives.
There used to be a time when cooking homemade meals in the kitchen was valued by the family as was sitting at the table to eat a meal.
I would always help my mother prepare food, set the table, and keep my elbows off the table.
Also, I would never speak with a full mouth, interrupt a conversation or speak when adults talk.
Cleaning the house was done by both my parents and us kids, even though my mum and dad owned two businesses and dad worked full-time.
My mum didn’t hire a maid; she prioritized time so the cleaning was done.
In our house, everyone helped.
My dad always helped clean, cook dinner, and wash and dry laundry.
This is likely why I do this with my wife today because we learn from our parents.
When you work as a team in a relationship, you get more done as long as you are both on the same page.
I will watch television when my jobs are done, but until then, life takes top priority.
These simplistic ways, for many, seem to be a thing of the past.
Fast foods, hiring people to do small things like house cleaning and maintenance when most are able-bodied.
Convenience is a way to free up but at a cost often well above what they could have done on their own.
Times sure have changed.
Abiding By Old-Fashioned Rules
The only rules there are in our lives are the ones that we put forth on our own.
We calculate what is best for us and whether it will benefit our family, friends, and strangers on the streets.
You might not get rich from old-fashioned values, but that is not the point.
It’s just supposed to make you feel better.
In today’s society, our heads are buried in smartphones as life is just one big digital disaster.
Old-Fashioned Love
When serendipity is on your doorstep, please don’t close the door before it’s even opened.
Don’t forget that love takes time and work to make it last.
Don’t forget in your busy world to take a moment to tell the people in your life you care.
Tell the person you are in love with how much they mean to you, even if that means writing an old-fashioned love letter.
Leaving notes for them to find, kissing them while they are sleeping, or looking them in the eyes makes a difference.
Forgetting about the people there might mean you forget that mirror staring back at you.
Don’t be shy to do all the things that two people in love would do because chances are they are hoping and praying that you will be romantic,
Before rushing out to mess with old-fashioned ways, consider how changing them would impact your overall goals.
Discussion: Do you think old-fashioned values are worth anything today?
Drop me a comment below, and I’ll be sure to respond.
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What a wonderful blog post Mr CBB! What an uplifting way to start the week! 🙂
Old fashioned manners and values never go out of style Mr CBB. If we all learned only one thing in life, “Treat others as you would like to be treated”, we would be very well off as a society. Do I practice this perfectly every single day…well no, but I try! LOL 😀
That is true. I think I briefly touched on how we may learn these values when we are young and for some they may get lost but we may tend to look back and say, why didn’t I do this or that.. at least the mentality is there it’s whether we choose to use it and when. Others, they are on the ball all the time, kudos to them. I’m not.. I miss things but like you, I do my best.
Great post Mr CBB! My husband and I joke that we were born in the wrong era. I love the old values, simplicity and respect the yesteryears used to have. Manners NEVER go out of style though it’s unfortunate we as a society can’t reinforce them.
Good post Mr. CBB! I don’t think old fashioned values are dead, but I know that many think they’ve subsided over the years. My parents talk about it regularly, so they might be a little jaded on it. We’re trying to instill values in our kids, not only by teaching them but also displaying it in front of them so they see it lived out in front of them. In my opinion, they’re not dead, but it certainly does stand out.
How right you are Mr CBB!! I raised my children with manners and respect as the norm. My one daughter now has 4 children, 2 of whom are classified as non-verbal with profound autism diagnosis (though technically they can say a few words with prompting). I can see that my daughter is expecting no less of her offspring – most significant is how her non-verbal son never responds “no” – his reply is always “no thank you”. It can be amusing at times – if he rudely shouts “no” & I say “pardon me”, he will quietly say “no thank you”, which also stops his outburst. Even his school bus driver has commented that it is surprising that a child with so little language knows his manners and is generally polite. We have received many comments about the more-typical siblings being very polite when visiting in homes of their peers. Having had many of their friends in my home, I have seen that some other children have little or no concept of manners. Sad.
Nice post Mr. CBB. Thanks. It reminds me of one of my favourite quotes, from the Dalai Lama: “Be kind whenever possible, and it is always possible.” Compassion, courtesy, hard work, and charity are invaluable. None of us is perfect, or on the ball all the time, but when we all try our best to keep these things in our minds and hearts, everyone is better off.
I love this quote, Beth! And so true.
I think so old fashioned values definitely have their place, like respecting your elders, having manners, and things like that. But man there just so many old fashioned values that I’m so glad are not around today!
What a beautiful post, Mr. CBB. We live in such amazing times and have so much and yet that gratitude and appreciation for the things we have seems to be slipping away. I love technology and modern conveniences but nothing beats good values, compassion and caring for others. We really do need to stop and take a look at what we value and make sure we’re teaching the next generation how to be good citizens of this world.
I kind of wish we lived back about 50 years ago sometimes when you could leave your door unlocked and people actually did say please and thank you. That’s great that people are helping our your neighbor. I would hope someone would help me if I needed it.
I’m a real sucker for old fashioned things which explains why I choose to live in a place that’s more of a village than a town. This is a really tough subject actually because in the modern world it does seem like anyone who plays by the old rules doesn’t stand a chance, yet time and time again you hear and see examples of people who adhere to these old values come good over time. I think the old values have longevity but if you try to keep up with the modern world then you’ll be playing catch up for the rest of your days. Great post mate.
We are in a small town and a lot of those things you talked about happen here. We smile at the other person as we walk past, hold the door at the post office…If there is some one trying to get out of Timmies and the light at the intersection is red I stop and let them out…..Here it is no big deal. I can remember going to Toronto with my younger boy on a school trip and talking with another Mom about how nobody smiled back at us as we walked down the street, we were so used to getting smiles back here it felt odd to not get them. I still call my Dad on the phone to talk to him regularly.
Sounds like the poor woman next door to you is running on nerves. Been there. Both my Mom and my father-in-law died of cancer. It was Hell for all of us. By all means help out now as much as you can….. but please remember her later. After everything is over she will still need support of friends and that’s when she is least likely to get it….every one seems to fade away afterwards…..I have no idea why but that’s the way it happens.
You are right in that there are illnesses that do not show on the outside. As you know my husband has something called Amyloidosis and he looks fine to most people. He also has hypotension (low blood pressure) and that causes his blood pressure to drop to sometimes dangerous levels. He has a walker but doesn’t always use it to go for a walk. Depends on how he is feeling at the time he leaves. If he doesn’t have the walker and his BP crashes he will stagger to anything that will support him. I’m pretty sure if some one saw him and didn’t know he would look like a drunk staggering about. The Amyloidosis is under control for now and he is on meds for the blood pressure but it’s not always effective at any given moment. We deal with things one day at a time. We have been married 37 years, and have no idea if we will make it to 38. He’s 58 years old right now. This time last year we didn’t even know if he would see Christmas. Things are better now than they were then, but we have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I’m making it getting through today…..I’ll worry about tomorrow when it gets here.
You are so right! Good old fashion values have fallen by the way side. Although technology is here to stay and texting and chatting online are a part of society now my husband and I felt it was important to instill good values in our children. Unfortunately, there are many that don’t. I have opportunity to work with many people and you can see that manners and common courtesy has definitely not been introduced to them. I truly hope that the next generation has a different outlook.
Doing nice things for others is like putting money into a high interest account. Sooner or later you will need something done for you and the more you have put into that account the more you will have to withdraw when you need it.
I guess I’m old-fashioned, but I absolutely believe in certain values and it makes me crazy when people around me don’t share the same values (respect to elders, holding open doors, getting up to give your seat to a pregnant woman etc.). With all the new technology maybe we just don’t have enough face to face time to learn these values for actual people anymore? Sad!
What a lovely post Mr. CBB. I believe that there are many people that don’t hold values as high as they should. Morals are going out the window, slowly but surely…
You guys are so sweet. I am old fashioned too, I respect elders, try to help where I can (my girl scout education probably), don’t text or use my phone at lunch… I think you have nothing to lose by keeping doing what you do. No one will ever laugh at you because you help an old person cross the street, and if they ever do, they are the a**es
Oh dear, so sorry to hear about your neighbor. So young to be dying of lung cancer. How very nice of you guys to help their family out. We work very, very hard at teaching our kids old-fashioned values. Most people say we’re a bit off the deep end about it (our old-fashioned values include everything from manners to purity and respecting the gift that your body is, dressing modestly, etc.), but at the same time, strangers regularly compliment us on our polite, kind and well-behaved kids. As crazy as we may be, I really think the kids will be happier if they’re taught to be kind and consider others, as most times, others will be kind and considerate back to them.