Common Sense and Courtesy Is Not Old News Just Old-Fashioned Values That Not Everyone Embraces.
Times have changed and modern society values have changed alongside but how far is too far before we teeter on the edge of forgetting old-fashioned values in our lives?
It seems these days everyone is switching things up but at some point many revert back to the old-fashioned ways of doing things because they were the best way.
When I’m in the kitchen creating a new recipe in the back of my mind I’m always thinking about the old-fashioned way and how it was done back when my parents and grandparents were younger.
Today, if you want to talk to someone jump on Facebook chat, Twitter or text someone rather than picking up the phone or sending a letter in the post.
Spending money to have fun has become more important than a simple walk on the beach or wooded trails to enjoy nature and spending time with a loved one, friends or family.
Money seems to make the world go round but that’s all it does, it goes round and round and round and doesn’t know when to stop.
Old-fashioned values are still appreciated and certainly very relevant in today’s society but not like they used to be.
Old-fashioned values definition
It really depends on the way you were raised but for me, old-fashioned values are how my parents taught me to be the best person I could be.
I was taught to respect my elders, say please and thank-you or sorry if I made a mistake.
One value I think many people could learn from is to help whenever needed without monetary expectations to a certain degree.
There’s a difference between dropping a friend off at the shop because his/her car broke down and lending money to fix it.
The reason I wanted to talk about old-fashioned family values today is that I noticed something the other day and it came about from our neighbours.
Our one neighbour is dying of lung cancer and is in the hospital and his wife looks like she is run ragged.
We don’t talk much to our neighbours much but they are a friendly family who keeps to themselves.
This past summer I noticed the tree on their property had the branches leaning on top of our roof.
I also noticed that our joining wood fence was leaning over I knew we needed to get some work done.
I was hesitant since the summer before I had asked if he wanted to help preserve the fence and he said no to chipping in $50 so I never really said much to him again.
When I was landscaping my front property this summer he came over to talk to me. He was watching move those huge landscaping rocks on my own and said there was no way he could ever do that. I figured he was simply meaning that he was too old and that was it.
We talked about the fence post and he said he would chip in to get a new one and I said I’d do the work since he didn’t look very well.
He was fine with that.
Now I know that he was dying of lung cancer which is why he rarely came outside and looked tired.
Although I could tell he didn’t look particularly healthy there are many invisible illnesses that we fail to see or people are judged by because people can’t see them.
You never know how much someone might appreciate a helping hand, especially when they keep their weaknesses away from the public eye.
Kindness Day Is Every Day
We had a breakthrough moment as neighbours during that conversation and it reminded me about how my parents taught me to say hello, good-bye, good-morning and to respect others like I want them to treat me.
Teaching kid’s values when they are young like my parents did will take them far in life.
It may not come to us right away, sometimes it’s a particular situation that will remind us what our parents wanted us to carry forward in life.
For others, well they are just genuinely on top of their game when it comes to courtesy and respect and I commend them for that.
I’ve since gone on my roof and cut the branches of his tree for him and to protect my roof as well.
His wife came over to knock on our door to ask for help the other day.
My wife and I were surprised but she told us she had exhausted all her friends and family and needed a favour from us.
She said she is spending all her time at the hospital with her husband and that she needed to leave a key with us.
if we were going to be home there would be a company passing by to bring medical equipment to the house for here husband.
She needed someone to take the medical equipment and put it in the house so it would be safe.
You could see the pain and hurt and tiredness in her darkened eyes.
She said the house is a mess and her son is in there but she doesn’t have time to deal with that right now.
He’s old enough to be left on his own so I’m assuming it was the cleaning she was talking about.
My wife looked her in the eyes and said, “Come here, give me a hug” and whispered in her ear, anything you need you please tell me and I’ll help you.
I think our neighbour wanted to cry but she held back.
She thanked us over and over and we said don’t mention it, anything she needed.
Now, the other neighbours on either side of us have also come together because they want to help them out.
They want to know how he is doing and what they can do to make life a bit easier for them.
One lady offered to go in and clean her house for her and cook meals if she needed or to do her grocery shopping.
Our other neighbour wants to send a card to say that they are thinking about them during this painful time in their lives
He quit smoking 10 years ago but by then it was too late, the damage had already been done.
I am so thankful every day that I had the strength to quit smoking.
I know that many people get lung cancer for various reasons and others who have never smoked a day in their lives get it.
I’m just happy that I quit knowing that it can hurt me and I’ve taken that risk out of the picture now.
Not everything is valued by money
In the winter I remember a time when Mrs. CBB and I were on holiday and came back to a snowy blizzard.
When we pulled on to our street we had noticed that our neighbour had snowplowed our driveway.
He knew we were away and wanted to help, which really did bring a tear to my eye.
So many people are in a rush these days that the small things mean nothing.
If they do find the time to do something or to help someone they want a monetary return for their time.
Not everything has to be valued by money.
This past weekend that same neighbour who shovelled our drive wanted to know if I could feed his cat for a couple of days.
He went planning a few nights of fun on the town with his friends for the weekend.
I had no problems doing that and it was nice to give back and it feels good.
It’s just another reason why volunteering is a big part of their lives because of the ‘feel good’ feeling you get making people smile.
You may also know that what you are doing is going to make someone’s day even if you’ve never met them before.
Using Your Manners
Have you ever notice how many people don’t have a minute to live when driving or doing what they need to get done while they are out and about.
How often do you let someone in when traffic is backed up or leave a space so someone can pull out from a parking lot onto the road?
I see it all the time and shake my head when people block exits at intersections so cars can’t get out instead of backing up to leave a gap so they can pull out while I wait for a red light.
That’s common courtesy but I’ve been hard-pressed to see it happen let alone people giving the nod to say thanks.
There never seems to be enough time for our lives anymore.
Is that the truth or are we not planning our time wisely these days especially when technology has soaked up hours upon hours for people when back in the day that didn’t exist.
How many times have you allowed someone who has a couple of items in line at the grocery store go ahead of you?
Would you give up your seat on the bus for a pregnant woman, elderly person or someone with a visible or invisible disability or simply asked for your seat?
The door opens for anyone and everyone I can when the opportunity presents itself because that is the right thing to do.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had doors slammed in my face or people just not caring about who is behind them.
People ignore me when I say good morning as if I’m someone with an agenda and smiling for some is a thing of the past.
Manners should be free to give and to get.
Another area of value comes in the form of conveniences in our lives.
There used to be a time when cooking homemade meals in the kitchen was valued by the family as was sitting at the table to eat a meal as a family.
I would always help my mother prepare food, set the table and made sure to keep my elbows off the table.
Also, I would never speak with my mouth full, interrupt a conversation or speak when adults were speaking.
Cleaning the house was done by both my parents and us kids even though my mum and dad owned two businesses and dad worked full-time.
My mum didn’t hire a maid to come and clean she made sure to prioritize her time so the cleaning got done.
In our house, everyone helped.
My dad always helped to clean, cook dinner along with washing and drying laundry.
This is likely why I do this with my wife today because we learn from our parents.
When you work as a team in a relationship you get more done as long as you are both on the same page.
I will watch television when my jobs are done but until then life takes top priority.
These simplistic ways for many seem to be a thing of the past.
Fast foods, hiring people to do small things like house cleaning and maintenance when most are able-bodied.
Convenience is a way to free up time for them but at a cost often well above what they could have done on their own.
Times sure have changed don’t you think?
The only rules there are in our lives are the ones that we put forth on our own.
We calculate what is best for us and whether it will make a difference to our family, friends, and strangers we meet on the streets.
You might not get rich from old-fashioned values but that is not the point it’s just supposed to make you feel better.
In today’s society, our heads are buried in smartphones as life is just one big digital disaster.
When serendipity is on your doorstep don’t close the door before it’s even opened or better yet don’t forget that love takes time and it takes work to make it last.
Don’t forget in your busy world to take a moment to tell the people in your life you care.
Most of all tell the person you are in love with how much they mean to you even if that means writing an old-fashioned love letter, leaving notes for them to find, kissing them while they are sleeping or simply looking them in the eyes and reminding them you are their forever.
Forgetting about the people who were right there all along might mean you forget that mirror staring back at you.
Don’t be shy to do all the things that two people in love would do because chances are they are hoping and praying that you will be romantic,
Love is not one-side nor is romance.
There’s nothing old-fashioned about being old-fashioned in love but there is something to be said about forgetting about replacing simplicity with a skewed vision that we tend to create for ourselves.
Before rushing out to mess with old-fashioned ways consider how changing them would impact your overall goals.
Discussion: Do you think old-fashioned values are worth anything today?
Drop me a comment below and I’ll be sure to respond.
- The costs of being too nice
- An organized kitchen: My time, my money, my happiness
- Dating, career, life and true love: The bundle exposed
- How I put a $1700 dent in our budget with a simple error
- You’re cheap if you decorate rooms frugally
- Happiness Is everything: Saving Money, Buying Time
- Reader Question: Ways money can kill the spark in a relationship