Estimated reading time: 15 minutes
An independent woman takes care of herself free from outside control.
Don’t underestimate the power of an independent woman who knows what she wants and stops at nothing.
To make it in this world, you must find your path unassisted by others’ wealth.
Finding Prince Charming
My wife and I were conversing the other day about someone we know who is beautiful, intelligent, successful, and single.
She confided in my wife that she would know when she found her true soulmate, so she would never settle for the possibility of love.
I understand how she feels because we all want to get love right.
Fair enough, I thought, because plenty of single women don’t want to jump into a relationship with just anyone.
It has to be the right moment, attitude, feeling, and everything so the pieces fall into place.
What I didn’t know was that she had a past that was a dark time for her, but now she’s living a new life.
I was expecting her response when I asked my wife why her friend seemed so strong with a “don’t come near me” type of aura about her.
She looked me in the eyes and said that she was once in an abusive marriage where she felt stuck because the guy had money, and she allowed him to manipulate her.
She was only 23 when she met him, and they got married when she turned 24 and finished University, which she never used her degree.
It took her three years to break free from her abusive relationship, where she was forced to live by rules that most homemakers would never dream of.
He started as the perfect muscular wealthy husband that all the women desired but soon showed his true colors when the silence of the moon was staring down at them.
From A Controlled Life to An Independent Woman
She disclosed to my wife that there was a time when her ex-husband told her that if she didn’t like living with him, then she could leave.
He said he would make sure she would get nothing and fight her with the best lawyers he could find.
He was a real a$$ by the sounds of it.
She signed a prenup which I’m betting he forced her into because he knew how he was with women.
Most people who are attracted to money first and their partner second only find out they are in a miserable relationship and soon want a divorce.
Or they stick around and live a lonely, loveless life.
Abuse And Love
She was verbally and physically abused and hardly ever went out with friends unless it was with him to fancy parties for his business.
He took her shopping and told her what she had to wear, how to get her hair done, what color it had to be, and so on.
She did get everything she wanted apart from a man who loved her as much as she thought she loved him.
Getting caught up in a world filled with people and money is easy.
Hiding The Hurt
On one occasion, my wife questioned her about a bruised face while they were on Skype, only to learn that he accidentally elbowed her but that she was okay.
My wife urged her to get help, but she said it was her fault and the police would never believe her.
It’s hard being a friend and not knowing what to do.
Sometimes all you can do is pray that they break free from a difficult situation and don’t end up injured or dead.
I watched many documentaries, and the more I listened to my wife talk, the more I felt I could turn this into an award-winning film.
You know, the jaw-dropping documentary where you can’t believe what some people are capable of.
Ya, that’s this jerk.
He was essentially a control freak because he generated the family’s money and thought she was there for the ride.
I’m guessing his mentality was that I’m the guy with the cash, and you’re my bitch, so you have to do what I say, or you can carry your poor ass out the door.
As harsh as that sounds, that’s a reality many people go through in controlling relationships where one partner is the sole breadwinner or earns more money.
We understand that millions of dollars were involved, with lots sunk into the business.
Money Is A Cover-Up
Life on the other side of the financial fence is not always as glamorous as everyone thinks.
If you watch Keeping Up With The Kardashians, you know what behind the scenes of the rich and famous can be like chaos.
Just because you see many of these women parade around in high-priced attire and fancy cars and buying whatever they want doesn’t mean there are smiles behind closed doors.
Money is often the cover-up for unhappiness which is hard to break free from, especially when you are told you will amount to nothing and never live in luxury again if you leave.
Boy, did she prove him wrong?
Take The Steps You Need To Become Happy
When she finally had the strength to walk away from her flush lifestyle, it took her a couple of years to get back on her feet.
She wanted nothing to do with her ex-husband and managed to divorce him quickly so she could fade away into the sunset without a trace.
You would think she’d be financially set since he was in the money, but she didn’t want a dime from him.
Just Let Me Move On
She was so damaged that she just wanted out of the relationship and to erase all memories.
She’s certainly not alone, as scores of people of all genders in abusive relationships want to release and have a place to feel safe.
New Beginnings For This Independent Woman
She moved to Ontario when she was 30 from British Columbia with $25,000 in the bank to start a new beginning where nobody knew her name except my wife.
In around 7-8 years, she managed to attend school for a second time to become a Dentist and was successful.
Although she’s close to 40 years old with no kids, she wants to become a wife and mother now that she is finally an independent woman who can stand on her own two feet.
She told my wife that she wished she would have worried about her own needs and had more faith in her ability to graduate in a program that would give her the freedom she craved.
After she divorced, she was on a mission to become an independent woman where no man’s money would ever excite her.
She didn’t want money to interfere with dating or meeting men, whether they had money or not.
The most crucial part of becoming an independent woman was that she was perfectly financially fine if a relationship broke.
She couldn’t stress enough her happiness of being an independent woman to my wife over a latte at Starbucks last week while catching up.
Starting Life Over
When I met Mrs. CBB, she was the same as her friend in that she was career oriented and proud to be an independent woman who covered all of her bases, especially finance.
My wife was not broke when I met her, but she was ready for a career change and returned to University.
She graduated and landed a job earning a good income for a new grad, only to be laid off in a massive restructuring months later.
In those few months, Mrs. CBB had her office, a senior-level title, and a team of over 100 people to look after.
She was now that independent woman that she dreamed of and could let down her guard because she now had skills that were in demand.
Boy, was she lucky; we were lucky.
Adjusting To Life With An Independent Woman
It was hard to adjust to being with a woman who made good money when I wasn’t working or enrolled in school.
I’m the male version of the independent woman because I never wanted to depend on anyone for money.
It made more sense for me to rely on myself financially, and it felt good when I was living in the UK but not in Canada, where everything was foreign to me.
I knew I had to get it right and fast for my sanity.
These days my wife stays home with our son, and I work in a career I love and will likely work in until I can no longer work.
It took me years of school and training, but in the end, I’m free from my guilt of not being a husband earning a good living because that is who I am.
When I asked my wife how she felt after she became an independent woman in a career that she loved, she happily responded,
“There’s no greater freedom than being able to stand on your own two feet,” and she’s right.
Now that I’m moving up the career ranks, it feels good to know I have secured an education that will take me places in life.
I don’t feel burdened about financial security as much as I did when I moved to Canada.
My wife is a full-time stay-at-home mom and has adjusted her way of thinking because of our son.
She realizes that anything could happen and that no one is safe from the demons of divorce, job loss, or health issues.
The independent woman always lurks within her because once you’ve got the success bug, it stays with you forever.
Although she won’t go back to work for long-term health-related reasons, she knows that she was able to experience the dream of being free to soar with confidence and success.
Overall, we both learned that it’s not just the independent woman who strives to become financially successful, as many men equally desire the same feeling.
Money does buy love but won’t believe you the freedom you’ll need if everything falls apart.
What does being an independent woman or man mean to you?
Share your thoughts below. If you have any personal experiences to share, I’d love to hear about them.
CBB Insider Weekly
This week was filled with rainy days that kept us indoors most of the time. I did spend some time mowing the lawn when the sun came out to play, but that was short-lived.
While outside, I decided I might as well clean up the basil plants for the season.
I still need to sort out the back garden, but I need some sun to dry up what needs to come indoors to prevent mold while in storage.
This week the little guy had a bit of a fall in the living room, which startled him and caused a bloody nose.
The little guy loves medical attention and needs a plaster for everything. He’s at that stage where he’s jumping around constantly.
Halloween is next week, and our son finally has his costume, which we bought from Kijiji for $10.
We also have our chocolate and granola bars ready, but we’re not sure what to get for the children with allergies yet.
Painting our pumpkin teal is on the to-do list to alert kids and parents that we have something for the ghosts and goblins with allergies.
As far as I know, I’m not dressing up for Halloween yet, but watch out on my Facebook page for an excellent post coming up on Sunday for those of you with an iPhone.
That’s all my fun this week.
Posts I Published This Week
Top Post This Week: How to make money fast without going wild
- 5 Vital Personal Budget Audit Questions To Consider
- 5 Supermarket Annoyances That Cause You To Spend More Money
- Low Carb LCHF Lemon Cream Cheese Pound Cake
Reader Budget Brags
I created this spot to showcase reader enthusiasm for saving money.
Send me your Budget Brag, and you will automatically be entered into a yearly draw for a surprise gift card.
Open to Canada and USA residents. email: email@example.com
Hi Mr. CBB and Readers,
Green seedless grapes were on a fantastic sale at Real Canadian Superstore—3.265 kg for 4.24.
At 0.59 cents a pound, I had to grab a lot.
These are super fresh and will keep. They happened to have overstock, which prompted the rock-bottom price.
Spotlight On Finance
When I used to think about the debt we owed, it was frightening, especially since I was starting my career.
That and my wife had just lost her job months after buying our first home.
Thankfully we bought our home on one income, so we had to stop paying into our investments until our financial situation changed.
Holding on to debt like that in a situation we did not expect (who does?) was difficult for both of us.
Even though we had some savings in the bank, not knowing how to balance paying the bills, buying groceries, and maintaining our house was daunting.
Anytime you have debt in your name, especially when you struggle to pay it back, it weighs you down.
Even if you don’t think it holds you back, it does.
That money you owe will always be in your mind because you know you should be paying it back.
Debt becomes a heavyweight.
Even though we are mortgage and debt-free, I know that at any time, something could happen, and our lives could change.
Never think you’ve hit one out of the ballpark, and you’re set for life unless you’ve got millions in your pocket and a financial mindset to go along with it.
Something to ponder.
This week I stumbled upon a finance blog called “Fiscally Free” and their latest post, “Don’t Call Me Cheap,” which caught my attention.
Mrs. CBB and I have been called both cheap and frugal, and we’ve gotten over what people think about how we spend and save our money.
For some people like this blogger, being called cheap is insulting, and they believe that cheapskates are lazy.
This is an interesting article.
What are your thoughts about the terms “Cheap” and “Frugal,” and would it bother you to be called either?
Frugal Recipe Pick
Food is a big part of any budget and a struggle for many, so it has been vital for me to create frugal recipes for my fans.
I have a second Facebook page called The Free Recipe Depot, where I exclusively share recipes from Food Bloggers worldwide.
Check out the Free Recipe Index compiled of frugal recipes 100% tested and accepted by family and friends!
This week I stopped by the blog Back For Seconds hosted by Stephanie, and boy, does she have a mouth-watering soft, thick chocolate chip cookie recipe waiting for you.
I’m sure you’ll agree; these chocolate chip cookies will be perfect just by looking at the photo.
In my time, I’ve made so many types of cookies that I don’t have a favourite.
I love cookies, especially those that hold up to the dunk test.
One recipe that I make that I tend to go back to once or twice a year is my Oatmeal Chocolate Chip Raisin Cowboy Quickies because they are soft, thick, and full of chocolate.
I’m a fan of the thick, soft cookies to dip in my coffee, so I’ll test this recipe in the CBB kitchen soon.
Cool Pinterest Find
I found some cool finds on Pinterest both over at the blog One Little Project.
The first is a DIY Halloween gift, an Apple and Caramel Fall Treat perfect for colleagues at the office, staff members or friends, and family.
This edible DIY project is so easy but so elegant at the same time.
Once someone receives a beautiful Granny Smith Apple with caramel dip, all wrapped with a bow, they will forever be in your heart.
Such a simple project shows that you went the extra mile to say I care.
The best part is that these gifts are inexpensive and homemade, making them even more touching.
On the blog Our Little Project, I noticed these Cheese and Pretzel Broomsticks made with pretzels and cheese strings and tied with green chives.
If you are having a work Halloween party or are attending one and have to bring snacks, this will be a healthy hit and talk of the table.
The best part, again, is how inexpensive and adorable they are… perfect for Halloween!
Google Search Giggles
Always begin and end your day with a SMILE!- Mr.CBB
Every week I get thousands of people to visit Canadian Budget Binder because they did a search online and found my blog.
Most times funny, Sometimes serious.
- Do your property taxes increase if more kids live in the house?– Think about that for a second.
- How to get money on a Sunday when broken?– Ah, so now we are getting day specific, lol.
- My husband says I spend too much money– He’s probably right if you both have a budget.
- Why do lottery winners go broke?– Because they blow all of their money.
- How to win mass cash, the formula 2016?– This one has to be the best of the week, haha!
That’s all the fun for this week; thanks for dropping by, and we’ll see you all again next Saturday!
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