RAISING MENTALLY STRONG KIDS TAKES PARENTING SKILLS YOU CAN’T BUY
Did you know that your financial status affords you easier parenting? Cue, the laughs. Raising normal children as opposed to overindulged spoiled brats is tough for those with money but it has nothing to do with making parenting easier.
The rich children’s life vs the poor children’s life is nothing more than having more stuff because you can’t buy parenting skills, unless of course it’s hired help. What’s the point of having kids if you just push them aside because you have the money to do so?
Being entitled and acting entitled are two different things and for wealthy parents it can be hard to parent when you are constantly being judged.
Just because you are wealthy doesn’t mean you are debt free and just because you are debt free doesn’t mean you are any different from other parents.
Easier Parenting with Money
To earn money you have to work hard and perhaps in time money will come rolling in on a passive level but for the majority of people going to work for a pay cheque is a daily reality.
The difference for some folks is how much they are getting paid and how much debt they have to their name.
What is your net worth? Because if you’re wealthy then you get everything on life handed to you on a silver platter including your parenting abilities.
You also get to outsource all of your parental duties so you don’t have to worry about going to Johnny’s school play or Julie’s singing lesson recital.
These differences change how you are viewed by others especially those who believe that you have an easier life because of the money you earn or have in the bank.
Although the above does happen not all parents with money are heartless and abandon their children for spa appointments or to jet around the world on holidays sans kids in tow.
It Must Be Nice To Be Wealthy Parents
Last week Mrs. CBB was told by another parent at our son’s school while waiting for the bell to ring that it must be nice to stay home and not work or have to worry about money.
The conversation went something like this after initial chit-chat;
- Mom: So, what do you do for a living?
- Mrs. CBB: I’m a stay at home parent/wife.
- Mom: Oh, that must be nice, I have to go to work 5 days a week. Boy, I wish I could just stay home and lounge around. Your husband must have a good job or did you win the lottery? (insert laughter) So did you stay home with your son the entire 4 years or did he go to daycare?
- Mrs. CBB: Yes, I stayed home with him for the entire time leading up to starting elementary school and we put him in daycare for a short time to prepare him for school.
- Mom: How are you able to stay home and not work? You must be wealthy parents, haha!
She’s probing for more financial gossip at this point since Mrs. CBB is avoiding her, You Must Be Rich statements. Then Mrs. CBB let’s her have what she wants to see her reaction.
- Mrs. CBB: In fact we are debt free and rich by our own definition (meaning we all value the word, “rich” differently) but we still have the same worries and stresses as other people about money.
- Mom: Well, you’re still lucky to stay home and I bet you’re little guy gets spoiled rotten by you two with all the money you have.
- Mrs. CBB: Sigh. Smile.
- Mom: Have a great day Stay at home parent, haha!
- Mrs. CBB: Smiles and waves.
Sometimes it’s just best to smile and move on with life because trying to explain things falls on deaf ears. All this woman was thinking about was money and how nice it was to have it and afford to stay home and to breed spoiled, entitled children.
This conversation above is why we’ve held back many times not saying a thing about being debt free or even that Mrs. CBB was able to stay home with our son.
For one she didn’t stay home just because we are wealthy parents and two just because we are debt free doesn’t mean that our son gets a privileged life.
Prioritizing Your Day
I’ve read about rich folks who share photos of their lives behind the camera on social media such as Chrissy Teigen and John Legend, Behati Prinsloo- Levine and Adam Levine, Snooki and Jionni LaValle, Pink and Carey Hart, Vanessa and Nick Lachey, Yael and Scooter Braun and even Jeremy and Chelsey Bieber, step-mom to Justin Bieber.
They all have money but they want their kids to grow up to be normal, like every other kid on the block.
The list goes on and on where wealthy parents have babies and people think that parenting is easier for them because they have the money to buy help.
What is concerning about this is why money becomes more important over just parenting the best way we can utilizing resources which are available to us.
It doesn’t matter if your house is not cleaned every single day or that the laundry is mounting in piles by the washer. We get the opportunity to pick and choose what we want to get done on a daily basis.
You must understand that it’s perfectly normal to not have that show-home appeal whenever someone comes around.
Life means you live so unless your home is filthy then you are doing nothing more than living and balancing your days like everyone else with or without spare cash.
Effective Parenting Costs Nothing
Parenting means more than just money which means that by allowing yourself as a parent to be the best parent you can is crucial to their success and your happiness.
- Make time for your kids
- Reward your children
- Behaviour Management
- Be a good role model (they watch everything)
- Boost their self-esteem
- Explore Life Skills
- Communicate effectively
- Unconditional love always
- Education and Learning
- Safety First
- Be consistent in all that you do
- Stress Management skills
- Be willing to change as a parent
- Teach Patience
- Embrace Independence
- Enforce rules and set guidelines
None of the above costs money or can be bought but have a HUGE impact on your children.
Assumptions Of Wealthy Parents
Just because you see a mom with make-up off to the gym or a dad who is home often or goes golfing doesn’t mean they have a maid who cleans their house, nanny who take care of the kids, cooks and does the grocery shopping.
It also doesn’t mean that they don’t work or haven’t worked hard to be able to live the life they can afford.
Watching successful model, mom, wife and cookbook author Chrissy Teigen on Instagram it’s easy to see that she adores cooking for friends and family almost every night. Of course she could hire a chef to do the work but cooking is a big part of her life and livelihood.
With two cookbooks under her belt Cravings and Hungry For More and lots of home videos on IG Chrissy and John Legend are wealthy parents with a solid foundation for their two children. I mean, what kid eats coconut carrot soup and loves it? Little Luna their daughter does and she loves it. “It tastes like orange candy.”
She may have other help around the house that allows her more time in the kitchen but it still becomes a part of their daily chores. Her kids see it and will appreciate it later in life because not all kids of wealthy parents become rich themselves.
You must teach your kids life skills whether you have no money in the bank or millions invested.
Would having any of the above services help parenting become easier?
I don’t know I’ve never had them and perhaps they might depending on the life I live.
Jetting off for work every week is not part of my schedule nor do I have a mansion or massive grounds that need to be looked after.
I’m going to go with yes just for the sake of saying it because it would seem that way however it only makes life easier not parenting easier.
Comparing Your Life
I know it’s hard not to dream about living a life that you see other people live because they can afford to do so. (In some cases, they can not)
When you have money whether you are in the media spotlight or just a regular person who is financially successful there will always be differences when you compare lives.
This is why I’ve stated on the blog before to never compare what someone else has to what you have because you are only letting yourself down. I know someone who just paid off all of his debt and to him that is financial success.
He may not have a dime in savings but he has no debt and that is his freedom until the next leg of his journey.
We can’t give up no matter what stage our financial status is in.
I’ve even been point-blank told that we should donate more money to charity and to add this category to our budget. Fair enough, I can accept that since I put our financial numbers out there but who are you to tell us what to do with our money?
We are by no definition ultra rich and to some of you with more money than us you may view us as not rich at all.
For those of you with less money than us you may think we are wealthy parents.
This is where it becomes a game of who has more and who has a better life because of it.
You see, people get so focused on what others have rather than learning the best way to invest in themselves.
You let yourself down when you do this comparing thing that can eat you alive.
Now, if you insist on doing so and take that comparison to feed your motivation to become successful that’s a different story but to moan about not having the same life for your children is petty.
Parenting Is Parenting
But most wealthy parents got a kick-start from their parents.
That may or may not be true but if you have children you know that they will do all the things that kids do because they are kids.
No amount of money will cure a temper-tantrum or take away tears when they flow and a child wants a cuddle from mom or dad.
Love is unconditional and money can’t buy true love especially that of a child. They see and feel everything like every other child no matter how fat their parents’ bank account is or is not.
Money may be able to buy experiences which in fact can enhance the life of a child by exposing them to more of what life has to offer but there is SO MUCH in this world to see and do that costs little to no money.
The best part is that it will still be just as fun and educational for children whether you can afford to bring them to a zoo or a local animal farm.
Taking your child to the park instead of an indoor play ground or going on holidays to Disney or a road trip to Wonderland. It’s all about family and experiences that you build with each other.
Teach your children to appreciate doing things for themselves is how you bring up children that are responsible and take charge of life rather than relying on everyone else.
Even the richest parents still make their children tidy their rooms and earn the money they are given. It may be outrageous amounts but it’s the lesson that is key.
Sure there are rich parents who hand over money or credit cards but again, money can’t buy good parenting skills.
Check your stress level at the door before you come home especially when you have children at home. They want your attention and they want to play. This is how you can build strong, long-lasting relationships with your kids but without headaches and having to spend money all of the time.
I know a family who goes to Disney World every, single, year with their kids, have a mortgage and debt and you may think they are rich people when in fact, they are not. She was born into a rich family where her husband was not and there were no hand-outs when they got married.
They choose to save up for holidays so they can experience things with their children like they did because they understand how it impacted their lives. These two are parents who also go on nature walks, trail running and do all sorts of outdoor activities with their kids that costs little to no money at all.
Although they both work full-time they leave their work stress at work and focus on family when they are home. The ultra rich people do the same thing but perhaps on a different level but who are we to compare when we don’t know the life they live?
At the end of the day rich people may be able to buy things easier than others but when it comes to parenting a child is a child no matter the size of the bank account.
The best thing you can do for your children is to give them your love and support and to share with them the world they are about to embark on.
If you can afford a maid, nanny, chef and go on vacations on a spur of the moment’s notice these are choices you are able to make but doesn’t mean that parenting gets any easier.
With fame and fortune comes far more than any of us can ever imagine so don’t let the smoke-screen and media skew your views on how money affects the rich and famous.
Not all rich people grew up rich nor do they want their kids to skip out on learning about what life is really all about.
You can’t buy wealthy parenting skills.
Life behind closed doors is nothing more than being human.
Time for me to go grocery shopping now with our son so we can go home to cook a meal together as a family.
Discussion: How would you have responded to the other mom if you were Mrs. CBB?