Estimated reading time: 8 minutes
Discover the importance of learning from a money mistake and improving your financial situation. Find out how to avoid being taken advantage of.
Money Mistakes aren’t always in your face, but we learn from these missteps and make them right the next time.
There are many reasons people fall into debt, but there are more reasons why they should get out of debt, even if that means fighting for their legal rights.
You don’t need to make millions to use a budget, but you need to see the numbers.
How I Fixed My Biggest Money Mistake
One of my fans contacted me with a story she wanted to share about her biggest money mistake.
Not everyone is willing to say, “This is what happened,” and “This is what I had to do to fix it.”
Julie took steps to get back on track, and I hope others can learn from her story and not be taken advantage of.
Take your failures and make them a success story like Julie.
Julie’s Money Mistake And Lessons Learned
Hello Mr. CBB!
When I separated from my ex-husband, I had to file for bankruptcy.
I wasn’t mismanaging funds, but failing to protect myself from love and money landed me in hot water.
This chapter has taught me to become self-reliant while living on no credit.
Great lessons were learned, and I vowed never to be in that place again, so please enjoy my story. I hope that others can learn something from what I had to go through.
My money mistake may be your success.
How It All Started
I met a guy….isn’t that how a lot of these stories begin!!
We were together for a few years, and it blossomed into something special between us, or so I thought.
Surprisingly, it seemed that we were headed in the same direction.
Gleefully, we got engaged and began planning our wedding.
We wanted to spend the rest of our lives together.
Our Financial Situations
His credit history was not the best, and it was so bad I had to step in like a warrior to conquer the matter.
Money fights and money problems in relationships happen, so I decided to save the day and potentially avoid this.
I rolled it into my mortgage to help him build up his credit score to help clear up his debt.
I guess that’s what you do when you are in love and you think you will be with someone for the rest of your life, so I thought,
Thankfully, a small part of me was in protection mode, so I was adamant that he was not put on the title for the house.
The title, for those who don’t know, means that I was the property owner and not him.
Instead, he was the guarantor, meaning the debt would be paid.
This is how the birth of our Line Of Credit (LOC) began for us.
Since I was in love with this man, I bent over backward for him with rose-colored glasses on.
It is incredible what we do for love with money. I even went as far as co-signing for a truck lease simply because my credit history was in perfect health.
You have to understand, though, that when you co-sign for anything, you agree to pay the borrower’s debt if the borrower fails to.
If you are not prepared to do this at any stage, do not, and I repeat, do not co-sign, as it is a legal agreement that you are responsible for in the event it is not paid.
That’s a lot of weight for someone, especially if you need credit for yourself, so you risk your credit and finances.
Life Falling Apart
Everything began to fall apart a few months after all the finances were in order,
This is like your worst nightmare coming to life, something you would never expect.
I inadvertently, to my horror, found out he was leading a double life.
While I thought he was off working hard in Manitoba for us, he was living with another woman.
Unfortunately, he was cheating on me, and I had to wrap my head around all of this news.
He had purchased big-ticket items with her and was living a happy life.
Who does this? Why me? Lots went through my mind, but I had to focus on my emotions and financial matters.
How did I know all of this? Well, conveniently, the paperwork came to my house.
No words describe my feelings, but what is done is done.
The money lessons are piling up here now, but I’m taking it seriously.
Legal Matters
Ultimately, I was left to deal with him being gone, but the debts remained.
I would have walked away from it all if it were a couple thousand dollars, but that wasn’t the case here.
I waited about a year before I began legal proceedings against him.
Canadian Small Claims Court was out of the question because of the money he owed me.
To file in Small Claims Court, the amount has to be less than $5000 to fall under small claims in every jurisdiction in each province.
I needed to find the best legal representation, so I hired a good lawyer and did a lot of the leg work to save some money in legal fees.
Legal Process For Divorce
A demand letter was sent to him, but he had ignored it. I had proof that I was emailing him so we could email him the Statement of Claim.
The Statement of Claims details the reason for filing legal action with all the detailed finance information.
He didn’t defend the case, so I received a Judgement for the total amount he owed me plus costs and registered a Writ of enforcement, all of which will show up on his credit report.
Not surprisingly, he vanished, so the total amount of the judgment was still unpaid.
I conveniently located his bank account information, and the lawyer garnished the account, meaning money would be seized.
If your employer receives a notice from the courts to withhold a certain amount of money, they must abide by this.
Guess who’s in contact with me and making regular payments to his debt now!
From the start to where I am today, this entire process has taken me a grueling almost four years.
The good thing about this loan is that the minimum payment required was interest only.
This gave me the ability to still pay it without causing any damage to my credit history or my monthly budget.
Co-Signing For His Truck
Regarding the truck lease, around the same time, everything else went south; he decided not to pay this regularly or the amount he was obligated to.
The financing company called me often looking for him or the truck.
I was always polite but insisted that I didn’t have the vehicle, so I wasn’t paying for it.
Find him, find the truck, but I am not usually the one that handles it. I shared information if and when I learned something new.
I advised them where he lived, and they finally repossessed the vehicle when the arrears got high enough.
He paid what he needed to catch up with the payments and get it back.
The lease is done now, and the truck has been returned to the dealer.
Inside, It felt like that was the most extended leasing contract EVER!
Credit Damage Was A Massive Money Mistake
This debt has damaged my credit.
Luckily, I have been with my employer for 24 years, and my banker knows the situation.
I can explain if I require financing shortly, which I don’t expect to.
It’s the only debt on my credit report; everything else is perfect.
Eventually, that debt will drop off, and the next chapter of my life and credit score will be perfect again!!
Biggest Money Mistakes That I Learned
My biggest regret was not following my gut and recognizing the red flags.
Although I did take steps to protect myself, it wasn’t enough.
Love and promises lured me in, and I was taken advantage of by a guy who does this regularly.
I am proud to say that I stood up for what was right and am the only one of his victims that have come forward to take him to the cleaners.
You can bet I’ll never, ever do this again.
My responsibility is not to handle my partner’s financial mess (at my expense). EVER!
However, I did recover well from my divorce and bankruptcy.
I managed to budget well enough that this didn’t do unrepairable damage to my kids or our budget.
Please have a good relationship with your banker; they can be your biggest ally when needed.
I’m not as big of a pushover as people thought. I fought back, and I won!
My biggest lesson is that life goes on, and you figure it: Banker crawled back out of the hole of feeling shamed and used.
I found love with someone I have known for over 20 years and married on September 16.
My life is perfect again, and my biggest money mistake is behind me.
Thanks For Reading,
Julie.
If you’d like to share your financial lesson on CBB, contact Mr. CBB via the contact page.
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Thank you for sharing your story! Hopefully it will help others to not make the same decisions. I rolled my hubby’s debt into my mortgage and put him on title after we were married (but so far a good decision for us lol). It’s so easy to get sucked in when you’re in love. I’m glad that you fought back! Congrats!
We Co-signed for our daughter to get a student line of credit when she was in college. She’s working on paying it off and we have been known to pay a little into on occasion, usually $10.00 here and there. She was busting her tail to get by and OSAP turned her down flat. I’m glad to hear that everything eventually worked out for you…
Hi There, Thanks for stopping by and liking my blog. Had to read this blog of your, so true about how we get ourselves in so deep and then when do we retreat? You have An Awesome Week Ahead. 😉
Cheers mate and thanks for dropping in. I enjoy meeting other bloggers and connecting so nice to meet you. Cheers Mr.CBB Catch me on Facebook and Twitter as well… cya.
That’s terrible what happened to Julie. Unfortunately this happens more often than it should. That’s why more people are now considering the possibility of a prenup, just for self protection reasons. Glad she was able to work her way out of that mess and is now happy with another man.
I agree or if they are going in with the same amount of cash like Mrs.CBB and I then it’s pretty much even Steven. Cheers Liquid! Mr.CBB
Wow. That’s a pretty crazy story ! Sorry for all of the crap that you got put through, but I am glad you didn’t end up as bad as it could have been if you weren’t financially responsible. What a jerk.
Wow, that’s terrible. Glad it got sorted out in the end. I am very VERY leery about co-signing onto other people’s debt. My parents are in really bad financial shape and they have asked me more than once to co-sign on their who-knows-how-many-th home refinancing, and I’ve said no each time. I just can’t imagine what I’d do if I put my name on it and they were no longer able to pay.
Ya, we don’t co-sign for anyone we are so scared to do it and although we love our family it would have to be an emergency situation but alternatively if they were going to lose the house I’d say sell it. Move to a smaller place, rent etc. If you can’t afford it this month you can’t afford it the next unless you get more work, a raise, less debt etc.
That is definitely a difficult circumstance to find yourself in and a lesson truly learned the hard way. I’ve had quite a few mistakes with money, but they were mostly due to my ignorance…I’m sure I would have made this same mistake if it was for somebody I loved though. It’s certainly hard to think rationally when you’re “head over heels.”
It can be an eye opener although one of my fans says after 6 months in Canada you are common law and assume the debts. I don’t know much about that yet as I’m fairly new here. When Mrs.CBB and I got together we had no debts and around the same amount of savings. That made things a wee bit easier.
I thank Julie for sharing and thanks to the CBB blog for giving her a platform from which to speak.
I think this is much more common than we realize so nobody should be ashamed if they find themselves in this predicament. What’s important is that Julie took the measures that were necessary when she realized what was happening!
Too many people, as she mentioned, do not take the time or courage to fight back!
Thanks for the kind words Diedra! Mr.CBB
Thank you for sharing! I am recently divorced, but luckily I didn’t have to deal with this during the divorce. He had been inappropriately using my credit card during the marriage, but I was able to remove him as an authorized buyer very easily to stop that. We had a very simple dissolution, he kept his car, I kept my car, he signed the car title over to me without incident, we didn’t own any real estate… I was very lucky. I’m sorry this happened to you but very glad you were able to overcome it. And you’ve learned, just as I have learned, that love doesn’t mean you can trust someone with your credit!
Thanks for sharing your story. I can’t imagine the emotioal rollercoater you must have been going through dealing with that mess.
Congrats on you your new marriage!
🙂